Create like a god. Com
Create like a god. Command like a king. Work like a slave!, Constantin Brancusi,
I believe that the gre
I believe that the great Creator has put ores and oil on this earth to give us a breathing spell. As we exhaust them, we must be prepared to fall back on our farms, which is God’s true storehouse and can never be exhausted. We can learn to synthesize material for every human need from things that grow., George Washington Carver,
I foresee the time whe
I foresee the time when industry shall no longer denude the forests which require generations to mature, nor use up the mines which were ages in the making, but shall draw its materials largely from the annual produce of the fields., Henry Ford, 1934, US automobile industrialist (1863 1947)
In the end, our societ
In the end, our society will be defined not only by what we create but by what we refuse to destroy., John C. Sawhill,
First make yourself un
First make yourself unpopular, then people will take you seriously., Konrad Adenauer, 18761967,
If people let governme
If people let government decide what foods they eat and what medicines they take, their bodies will soon be in as sorry a state as are the souls of those who live under tyranny., Thomas Jefferson, 3rd president of US (1743 1826)
While my interest in n
While my interest in natural history has added very little to my sum of achievement, it has added immeasurably to my sum of enjoyment in life., Theodore Roosevelt, 26th president of US (1858 1919)
The difference between
The difference between God and the historians consists above all in the fact that God cannot alter the past., Samuel Butler, 18351902, English composer, novelist, satiric author (1835 1902)
To be proud of virtue
To be proud of virtue is to poison oneself with the antidote., Benjamin Franklin, ?, US author, diplomat, inventor, physicist, politician, printer (1706 1790)
Whenever it is in any
Whenever it is in any way possible, every boy and girl should choose as his life work some occupation which he should like to do anyhow, even if he did not need the money., William Lyon Phelps,
When life itself seems
When life itself seems lunatic, who knows where madness lies? Perhaps to be too practical may be madness. To surrender dreams, this may be madness. To seek treasures where there is only trash...Too much sanity may be madness, and maddest of all is to see life as it is and not as it should be., Miguel De Cervantes, Don Quixote de la Mancha, Spanish adventurer, author, poet (1547 1616)
My kittens look at me
My kittens look at me like little angels, and always after doing something especially devilish., Jamie Ann Hunt,
We judge ourselves by
We judge ourselves by what we are capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done., Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, US poet (1807 1882)
The man who views the
The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life., Muhammad Ali, US boxer (1942 )
From what we get, we c
From what we get, we can make a living what we give, however, makes a life., Arthur Ashe,
The first casualty whe
The first casualty when war comes is truth., Hiram Warren Johnson, (1917),
Imagination is the rea
Imagination is the reality of the dreamer., Scott Ringenbach,
If you want the rainbo
If you want the rainbow, you have to put up with the rain., Dolly Parton,
Great dancers are not
Great dancers are not great because of their technique, they are great because of their passion., Martha Graham, US choreographer dancer (1893 1991)
Do what you can with w
Do what you can with what you have, where you are., Theodore Roosevelt, 26th president of US (1858 1919)
What we do is less tha
What we do is less than a drop in the ocean. But if it were missing, the ocean would lack something., Mother Teresa, Indian humanitarian missionary (1910 1997)
Happiness is a perfume
Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others with out getting a few drops on yourself., Ralph Waldo Emerson, US essayist poet (1803 1882)
If you have no confide
If you have no confidence in self you are twice defeated in the race of life. With confidence you have won even before you started., Marcus Garvey,
Fear can keep us up al
Fear can keep us up all night long, but faith makes one fine pillow., Philip Gulley,
Whoever said love is b
Whoever said love is blind is dead wrong. Love is the only thing that lets us see each other with the remotest accuracy…, Martha Beck,
Life is like a ten spe
Life is like a ten speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use., Charles M. Schulz, US cartoonist (1922 2000)
To hate a man because
To hate a man because he was born in another country, because he speaks a different language, or because he takes a different view of this subject or that, is a great folly. Desist, I implore you, for we are all equally human...Let us have but one end in view, the welfare of humanity., John Comenius,
To me there is somethi
To me there is something thrilling and exalting in the thought that we are drifting forward into a splendid mysteryinto something that no mortal eye hath yet seen, and no intelligence has yet declared., E. H. Chapin,
We think so because ot
We think so because other people all think so or because after all, we do think so or because we were told so, and think we must think so or because we once thought so, and think we still think so or because, having thought so, we think we will think so., Henry Sedgwick,
Politics is the pursui
Politics is the pursuit of trivial men who, when they succeed at it, become important in the eyes of more trivial men., George Jean Nathan, US drama critic editor (1882 1958)
...in order that a man
...in order that a man may be happy, it is necessary that he should not only be capable of his work, but a good judge of his work., John Ruskin, English critic, essayist, reformer (1819 1900)
Government is not reas
Government is not reason it is not eloquence it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master., George Washington, First president of US (1732 1799)
Necessity is the plea
Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants it is the creed of slaves., William Pitt,
I never knew an earlyr
I never knew an earlyrising, hardworking, prudent man, careful of his earnings, and strictly honest who complained of bad luck., Henry Ward Beecher, US abolitionist clergyman (1813 1887)
Your representative ow
Your representative owes you, not his industry only, but judgment and he betrays, instead of serving you, if he sacrifices it to your opinion., Edmund Burke, Speech to the electors of Bristol. 3 Nov. 1774, Irish orator, philosopher, politician (1729 1797)
I told you I was sick.
I told you I was sick., Erma Bombeck, on her tombstone, US author humorist (1927 1996)
Think wrongly if you p
Think wrongly if you please, but in all cases think for yourself., Doris Lessing,
We are the hero of our
We are the hero of our own story., Mary McCarthy,
Courage is fear that h
Courage is fear that has said its prayers., Maya Angelou, US author poet (1928 )
What lies behind us an
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us., Ralph Waldo Emerson, US essayist poet (1803 1882)
If women understood an
If women understood and exercised their power they could remake the world., Emily Taft Douglas,
Do not let the body be
Do not let the body be dragged along by mind nor the mind be dragged along by the body, Miyamoto Musashi,
The concept of progre
The concept of progress acts as a protective mechanism to shield us from the terrors of the future., Frank Herbert, US science fiction novelist (1920 1986)
In the hearts and mind
In the hearts and minds of the people, the grapes of wrath were growing heavy for the vintage., John Steinbeck, The Grapes of Wrath, US novelist (1902 1968)
If indeed you must be
If indeed you must be candid, be candid beautifully., Kahlil Gibran, Lebanese artist poet in US (1883 1931)
Life.....is a series o
Life.....is a series of dogs., George Carlin, US comedian and actor (1937 )
You can do anything th
You can do anything that you wanna do. All you gotta do is to put your brain into it. Take your time and educate your mind., Coolio, The Winner,
If you want a quality,
If you want a quality, act as if you already had it., William James, US Pragmatist philosopher psychologist (1842 1910)
The superior man is mo
The superior man is modest in his speech, but excels in his actions., Confucius, Chinese philosopher reformer (551 BC 479 BC)
As each child looks at
As each child looks at the world through innocent eyes all they can see, Is the worlds way of life and the way they think their lives should be., Kandice Hehner, Innocent Eyes,
I decided long ago nev
I decided long ago never to walk in anyone’s shadow. If I fail, if I succeed, at least I’ll live as I believe., Whitney Houston, The Greatest Love Of All,
The person who knows h
The person who knows how will always have a job. The person who knows why will always be his boss., Diane Ravitch,
It is never too late t
It is never too late to give up your prejudices., Henry David Thoreau, US Transcendentalist author (1817 1862)
Always be ready to spe
Always be ready to speak your mind and a base man will avoid you., William Blake, English engraver, illustrator, poet (1757 1827)
Treat people as if the
Treat people as if they were what they should be, and you help them become what they are capable of becoming., Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, German dramatist, novelist, poet, scientist (1749 1832)
Concern should drive u
Concern should drive us into action and not into depression., Karen Horney,
Free your mind, and th
Free your mind, and the rest will follow. Be colorblind, don’t be so shallow., En Vogue, Free Your Mind,
People are ridiculous
People are ridiculous only when they try or seem to be that which what they are not., Giacomo Leopardi,
The game of life is no
The game of life is not so much in holding a good hand as playing a poor hand well., H.T. Leslie,
Be slow in choosing a
Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing., Benjamin Franklin, US author, diplomat, inventor, physicist, politician, printer (1706 1790)
Imagination is more im
Imagination is more important than knowledge., Albert Einstein, US (Germanborn) physicist (1879 1955)
No one knows what he c
No one knows what he can do until he tries., Publilius Syrus, (~100 BC)
Courage is the power t
Courage is the power to let go of the familiar., Raymond Lindquist,
To make a man happy, f
To make a man happy, fill his hands with work., Frederick E. Crane,
Look at a stone cutter
Look at a stone cutter hammering away at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundredandfirst blow it will split in two, and I know it was not the last blow that did it, but all that had gone before., Jacob A. Riis,
A good garden may have
A good garden may have some weeds., Thomas Fuller, English clergyman historian (1608 1661)
The mere sense of livi
The mere sense of living is joy enough., Emily Dickinson, US poet (1830 1886)
He who limps still wal
He who limps still walks., Stanislaw Lec,
Patience is often mere
Patience is often merely the guise of Cowardice., C. Lee Hopkin,
Always behave like a d
Always behave like a duck keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil underneath., Jacob Braude,
For what are posession
For what are posessions but things we guard for fear we might need them tomorrow?, Kahlil Gibron, (book) The Profit,
I always knew i would
I always knew i would look back on my tears and laugh but i never tought i would look back on the laughter and cry, Unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
to be yourself in a wo
to be yourself in a world that is doing its best, day and night to make you like everybody elseis to fight the hardest battle any human being can fight., e.e. cummings,
Dreams can become a re
Dreams can become a reality when we possess a vision that is characterized by the willingness to work hard, a desire for excellence and a belief in our right and our responsibility to be equal members of society., Janet Jackson,
We are behaving like p
We are behaving like people without compassion and love for the most vulnerable section of society. The children of the universe are without a spokesperson, they are voiceless…We are all touched by the atrocities committed against children: sexual, physical abuse, child slave labor, educational neglect. We feel ashamed. Angry. Appalled. But there is no action…No action., Michael Jackson,
The man who has no ima
The man who has no imagination has no wings., Muhammad Ali, US boxer (1942 )
Each new day is a blan
Each new day is a blank page in the diary of your life. The secret of success is in turning that diary into the best story you possibly can., Douglas Pagels, A Wonderful Resolution For The New Year!,
A critic is a legless
A critic is a legless man who teaches running., Channing Pollock,
Keep cool and you comm
Keep cool and you command everybody., Louis de SaintJust, French politician revolutionary (1767 1794)
Problems are only oppo
Problems are only opportunities in work clothes., Henry J. Kaiser, US industrialist (1882 1967)
Success has made failu
Success has made failures of many men., Cindy Adams,
If you live to be a hu
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you., Winnie the Pooh,
True friendship is lik
True friendship is like sound health the value of it is seldom known until it be lost., Charles Caleb Colton, (1780 1832)
If you should die befo
If you should die before me, ask if you could bring a friend., Stone Temple Pilots,
The reward of a thing
The reward of a thing well done is to have done it., Ralph Waldo Emerson, US essayist poet (1803 1882)
Always aim for achieve
Always aim for achievement, and forget about success., Helen Hayes, US actress (1900 1993)
Each day comes bearing
Each day comes bearing its own gifts. Untie the ribbons., Ruth Ann Schabaker,
It does not matter how
It does not matter how slowly you go, so long as you do not stop., Confucius, Chinese philosopher reformer (551 BC 479 BC)
Never fear the want of
Never fear the want of business. A man who qualifies himself well for his calling, never fails of employment., Thomas Jefferson, 3rd president of US (1743 1826)
Fear makes strangers o
Fear makes strangers of people who should be friends., Shirley MacLaine, US movie actress (1934 )
If you want the rainbo
If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain., Dolly Parton,
Above all, try somethi
Above all, try something., Franklin Delano Roosevelt,
Ain’t no mountain th
Ain’t no mountain that I can’t climb, baby, Michael Jackson, Leave Me Alone,
The world is moved not
The world is moved not only by the mighty shoves of the heroes, but also by the aggregate of the tiny pushes of each honest worker., Helen Keller, US blind deaf educator (1880 1968)
Prejudice is ignorance
Prejudice is ignorance., Michael Jackson,
Look who’s standing
Look who’s standing if you please, ‘though you tried to bring me to my knees., Michael Jackson, 2Bad,
It’s a wonder man ca
It’s a wonder man can eat at all, when things are big that should be small., Jamiroquai, Virtual Insanity,
We can always take but
We can always take but never give., Jamiroquai, Virtual Insanity,
Don’t go chasin’ w
Don’t go chasin’ waterfalls. Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you’re used to., TLC, Waterfalls,
Wear the old coat and
Wear the old coat and buy the new book., Austin Phelps,
Imagine there’s no c
Imagine there’s no countries, it isn’t hard to do nothing to kill or die for, and no religion too. Imagine all the people living life in peace., John Lennon, Imagine, English singer songwriter (1940 1980)
If you wanna make the
If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself, then make that change., Michael Jackson, Man In The Mirror,
You keep changin’ th
You keep changin’ the rules and I can’t play the game. I can’t take it much longer. I think I might go insane., Michael Jackson and Janet Jackson, Scream,
A quotation, like a pu
A quotation, like a pun, should come unsought, and then be welcomed only for some propriety of felicity justifying the intrusion., Robert Chapman,
Be as careful of the b
Be as careful of the books you read, as of the company you keep for your habits and character will be as much influenced by the former as by the latter., Paxton Hood,
Acting is the most min
Acting is the most minor of gifts and not a very highclass way to earn a living. After all, Shirley Temple could do it at the age of four., Katharine Hepburn, US actress (1907 2003)
I prefer the company o
I prefer the company of peasants because they have not been educated sufficiently to reason incorrectly., Michel de Montaigne, French essayist (1533 1592)
Never read a book thro
Never read a book through merely because you have begun it., John Witherspoon, US clergyman, educator, politician (1723 1794)
America is a large, fr
America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair., Arnold Toynbee, English historian historical philosopher (1889 1975)
To die for an idea it
To die for an idea it is unquestionably noble. But how much nobler it would be if men died for ideas that were true!, H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
It is the wretchedness
It is the wretchedness of being rich that you have to live with rich people., Logan Pearsall Smith, Afterthoughts 1931 In the World, (1865 1946)
There is no fate that
There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn., Albert Camus, French existentialist author philosopher (1913 1960)
It is dangerous for a
It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things that people might remember., Eugene McCarthy, US politician (1916 )
It was one of those pe
It was one of those perfect English autumnal days which occur more frequently in memory than in life., P. D. James,
The multitude of books
The multitude of books is making us ignorant., Voltaire, French author, humanist, rationalist, satirist (1694 1778)
To know all is not to
To know all is not to forgive all. It is to despise everybody., Quentin Crisp,
Be bold and mighty pow
Be bold and mighty powers will come to your aid., Basil King,
The fascination of sho
The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun., P. G. Wodehouse, British humorist novelist in US (1881 1975)
There ought to be one
There ought to be one day just one when there is open season on senators., Will Rogers, US humorist showman (1879 1935)
Women should be obscen
Women should be obscene and not heard., Groucho Marx, US comedian with Marx Brothers (1890 1977)
Nothing can so alienat
Nothing can so alienate a voter from the political system as backing a winning candidate., Mark B. Cohen,
If we were not all so
If we were not all so interested in ourselves, life would be so uninteresting that none of us would be able to endure it., Arthur Schopenhauer, German philosopher (1788 1860)
The male is a domestic
The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things., Jilly Cooper,
If mankind minus one w
If mankind minus one were of one opinion, then mankind is no more justified in silencing the one than the one if he had the power would be justified in silencing mankind., John Stuart Mill, English economist philosopher (1806 1873)
Misogynist: A man who
Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Education is a stateco
Education is a statecontrolled manufactory of echoes., Norman Douglas,
To knock a thing down,
To knock a thing down, especially if it is cocked at an arrogant angle, is a deep delight of the blood., George Santayana, US (Spanishborn) philosopher (1863 1952)
It is necessary to try
It is necessary to try to surpass oneself always this occupation ought to last as long as life., Queen Christina, of Sweden, 16291689, Swedish queen 16321654 (1626 1689)
In all recorded histor
In all recorded history there has not been one economist who has had to worry about where the next meal would come from., Peter Drucker,
Patriotism is often an
Patriotism is often an arbitrary veneration of real estate above principles., George Jean Nathan, US drama critic editor (1882 1958)
Life is a zoo in a jun
Life is a zoo in a jungle., Peter De Vries,
Washington is the only
Washington is the only place where sound travels faster than light., C. V. R. Thompson,
Criticism is prejudice
Criticism is prejudice made plausible., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
It is the dull man who
It is the dull man who is always sure, and the sure man who is always dull., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Treat all disasters as
Treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster., Quentin Crisp,
There are painters who
There are painters who transform the sun to a yellow spot, but there are others who with the help of their art and their intelligence, transform a yellow spot into the sun., Pablo Picasso, Spanish Cubist painter (1881 1973)
You have to know how t
You have to know how to accept rejection and reject acceptance., Ray Bradbury, advice to writers, US science fiction author (1920 )
A lawyer starts life g
A lawyer starts life giving $500 worth of law for $5 and ends giving $5 worth for $500., Benjamin H. Brewster, US lawyer (1816 1888)
A magician pulls rabbi
A magician pulls rabbits out of hats. An experimental psychologist pulls habits out of rats., Anonymous,
Some editors are faile
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers., T. S. Eliot, British (USborn) critic, dramatist poet (1888 1965)
The best way to become
The best way to become acquainted with a subject is to write a book about it., Benjamin Disraeli, British politician (1804 1881)
If all economists were
If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
Reading this book is l
Reading this book is like waiting for the first shoe to drop., Ralph Novak,
He who postpones the h
He who postpones the hour of living rightly is like the rustic who waits for the river to run out before he crosses., Horace, Roman lyric poet satirist (65 BC 8 BC)
Your manuscript is bot
Your manuscript is both good and original, but the part that is good is not original and the part that is original is not good., Samuel Johnson, (attributed), English author, critic, lexicographer (1709 1784)
Censorship, like chari
Censorship, like charity, should begin at home but, unlike charity, it should end there., Clare Booth Luce, US diplomat, dramatist, journalist, politician (1903 1987)
Making duplicate copie
Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose., Andy Rooney, US news commentator (1919 )
No man ever listened h
No man ever listened himself out of a job., Calvin Coolidge, 30th president of US (1872 1933)
So much of what we cal
So much of what we call management consists in making it difficult for people to work., Peter Drucker,
I have never let my sc
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
I respect faith, but d
I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education., Wilson Mizner, US screenwriter (1876 1933)
When you have only two
When you have only two pennies left in the world, buy a loaf of bread with one, and a lily with the other., Chinese Proverb,
Every man serves a use
Every man serves a useful purpose: A miser, for example, makes a wonderful ancestor., Laurence J. Peter, US educator writer (1919 1988)
Finance is the art of
Finance is the art of passing money from hand to hand until it finally disappears., Robert W. Sarnoff,
I quit therapy because
I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back., Richard Lewis,
Lawyers spend a great
Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke., Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr., US jurist (1841 1935)
When men are pure, law
When men are pure, laws are useless when men are corrupt, laws are broken., Benjamin Disraeli, British politician (1804 1881)
Communism is like one
Communism is like one big phone company., Lenny Bruce, (1923 1966)
Get all the fools on y
Get all the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything., Frank Dane,
If your daily life see
If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it blame yourself, tell yourself that you are not poet enough to call forth its riches., Rainer Maria Rilke, German lyric poet (1875 1926)
I never vote for anyon
I never vote for anyone I always vote against., W. C. Fields, US actor (1880 1946)
The Constitution gives
The Constitution gives every American the inalienable right to make a damn fool of himself., John Ciardi, US poet (1916 1986)
Every decent man is as
Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Bite off more than you
Bite off more than you can chew, then chew it. Plan more than you can do, then do it., Anonymous,
If the English languag
If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur., Doug Larson,
A lot of people like s
A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water., Carl Reiner,
I do not want people t
I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them., Jane Austen, English novelist (1775 1817)
Money frees you from d
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy., Groucho Marx, US comedian with Marx Brothers (1890 1977)
What some people mista
What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really the cost of high living., Doug Larson,
Against logic there is
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance., Laurence J. Peter, US educator writer (1919 1988)
A cynic is a man who,
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Vigorous let us be in
Vigorous let us be in attaining our ends, and mild in our method of attainment., Lord Newborough, Motto,
Arguments are to be av
Arguments are to be avoided they are always vulgar and often convincing., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
Live in such a way tha
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip., Will Rogers, US humorist showman (1879 1935)
I never took hallucino
I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota., Fran Lebowitz, US writer and humorist (1950 )
Reminds me of my safar
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water., W. C. Fields, US actor (1880 1946)
A lie can travel halfw
A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes., Mark Twain, (attributed), US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
There are only two way
There are only two ways of telling the complete truthanonymously and posthumously., Thomas Sowell, (1930 )
A little sincerity is
A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal., Oscar Wilde, The Critic as Artist, part 2 1891, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
Oh, what a tangled web
Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to believe., Laurence J. Peter, paraphrasing Sir Walter Scott, US educator writer (1919 1988)
The Romans would never
The Romans would never have found time to conquer the world if they had been obliged first to learn Latin., Heinrich Heine, German critic poet (1797 1856)
To disagree with three
To disagree with threefourths of the British public is one of the first requisites of sanity., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
Turn the world over on
Turn the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles., Frank Lloyd Wright, US architect (1869 1959)
Behind the phony tinse
Behind the phony tinsel of Hollywood lies the real tinsel., Oscar Levant, (1906 1972)
I have just returned f
I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there., Fred Allen, in a letter to Groucho Marx, 1953, US radio comedian (1894 1956)
The town where I grew
The town where I grew up has a zip code of EIEIO., Martin Mull, US comedian and actor (1943 )
We have really everyth
We have really everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language., Oscar Wilde, The Canterville Ghost, 1882, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
If you aspire to the h
If you aspire to the highest place, it is no disgrace to stop at the second, or even the third, place., Cicero, Roman author, orator, politician (106 BC 43 BC)
I write down everythin
I write down everything I want to remember. That way, instead of spending a lot of time trying to remember what it is I wrote down, I spend the time looking for the paper I wrote it down on., Beryl Pfizer,
Never give a party if
Never give a party if you will be the most interesting person there., Mickey Friedman,
I can forgive Alfred N
I can forgive Alfred Nobel for having invented dynamite, but only a fiend in human form could have invented the Nobel Prize., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
She runs the gamut of
She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B., Dorothy Parker, speaking of Katharine Hepburn, US author, humorist, poet, wit (1893 1967)
Know how to ask. There
Know how to ask. There is nothing more difficult for some people, nor for others, easier., Baltasar Gracian,
It is fun to be in the
It is fun to be in the same decade with you., Franklin D. Roosevelt, in a letter to Winston Churchill, 32nd president of US (1882 1945)
Skiing combines outdoo
Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face., Dave Barry, US columnist humorist (1947 )
To err is humanand to
To err is humanand to blame it on a computer is even more so., Robert Orben,
Part of the inhumanity
Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest., Isaac Asimov, US science fiction novelist scholar (1920 1992)
Most conversations are
Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of witnesses., Margaret Millar,
The prime purpose of e
The prime purpose of eloquence is to keep other people from talking., Louis Vermeil,
Television news is lik
Television news is like a lightning flash. It makes a loud noise, lights up everything around it, leaves everything else in darkness and then is suddenly gone., Hodding Carter,
My father hated radio
My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too., Peter De Vries,
Ask, and it shall be g
Ask, and it shall be given you Seek, and ye shall find Knock, and it shall be opened unto you., Bible, New Testament, Matthew 7:7,
Anyone who goes to a p
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined., Samuel Goldwyn, US (Polishborn) movie producer (1882 1974)
Imagine what it would
Imagine what it would be like if TV actually were good. It would be the end of everything we know., Marvin Minsky,
Imitation is the since
Imitation is the sincerest form of television., Fred Allen, US radio comedian (1894 1956)
Television is more int
Television is more interesting than people. If it were not, we would have people standing in the corners of our rooms., Alan Corenk,
The length of a film s
The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder., Alfred Hitchcock, In Simon Rose, Classic Film Guide (1995), British movie director (1899 1980)
Autobiography is an un
Autobiography is an unrivaled vehicle for telling the truth about other people., Philip Guedalla, English author popular historian (1889 1944)
In literature as in lo
In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others., Andre Maurois, French author (1885 1967)
It is only an auctione
It is only an auctioneer who can equally and impartially admire all schools of art., Oscar Wilde, The Critic as Artist, 1891, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
A painting in a museum
A painting in a museum hears more ridiculous opinions than anything else in the world., Edmond de Goncourt, French artist novelist (1822 1896)
Before you contradict
Before you contradict an old man, my fair friend, you should endeavor to understand him., George Santayana, US (Spanishborn) philosopher (1863 1952)
The murals in restaura
The murals in restaurants are on par with the food in museums., Peter De Vries,
The significant proble
The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them., Albert Einstein, (attributed), US (Germanborn) physicist (1879 1955)
The days of the digita
The days of the digital watch are numbered., Tom Stoppard, British dramatist screenwriter (1937 )
Humanity is acquiring
Humanity is acquiring all the right technology for all the wrong reasons., R. Buckminster Fuller, US architect engineer (1895 1983)
He who builds a better
He who builds a better mousetrap these days runs into material shortages, patentinfringement suits, work stoppages, collusive bidding, discount discriminationand taxes.", H. E. Martz,
It is a far, far bette
It is a far, far better thing to have a firm anchor in nonsense than to put out on the troubled sea of thought., John Kenneth Galbraith, US (Canadianborn) administrator economist (1908 )
Only exceptionally rat
Only exceptionally rational men can afford to be absurd., Allan Goldfein,
If you go in for argum
If you go in for argument, take care of your temper. Your logic, if you have any, will take care of itself., Joseph Farrell,
If a cluttered desk is
If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?, Laurence J. Peter, US educator writer (1919 1988)
Consistency is the las
Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
The absence of alterna
The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously., Henry Kissinger, US (Germanborn) diplomat scholar (1923 )
Confusion is always th
Confusion is always the most honest response., Marty Indik,
The advantage of a bad
The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time., Friedrich Nietzsche, German philosopher (1844 1900)
He is indebted to his
He is indebted to his memory for his jests and to his imagination for his facts., Richard Brinsley Sheridan, Irish dramatist politician (1751 1816)
Ours is the age that i
Ours is the age that is proud of machines that think and suspicious of men who try to., H. Mumford Jones, US critic educator (1892 1980)
Do not judge men by me
Do not judge men by mere appearances for the light laughter that bubbles on the lip often mantles over the depths of sadness, and the serious look may be the sober veil that covers a divine peace and joy., E. H. Chapin,
Never try to tell ever
Never try to tell everything you know. It may take too short a time., Norman Ford,
An intelligence test s
An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it., Laurence J. Peter, US educator writer (1919 1988)
An intellectual is a m
An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows., Dwight D. Eisenhower, US general Republican politician (1890 1969)
It is impossible to de
It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument., William G. McAdoo, US industrialist, lawyer, politician (1863 1941)
The incompetent with n
The incompetent with nothing to do can still make a mess of it., Laurence J. Peter, US educator writer (1919 1988)
Since we cannot know a
Since we cannot know all that there is to be known about anything, we ought to know a little about everything., Blaise Pascal, French mathematician, physicist (1623 1662)
Only dull people are b
Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast., Oscar Wilde, An Ideal Husband, 1893 Act I, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
There is much pleasure
There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge., Bertrand Russell, British author, mathematician, philosopher (1872 1970)
Happiness makes up in
Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length., Robert Frost, US poet (1874 1963)
Keeping your clothes w
Keeping your clothes well pressed will keep you from looking hard pressed., Coleman Cox,
Cockroaches and social
Cockroaches and socialites are the only things that can stay up all night and eat anything., Herb Caen,
Part of the secret of
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
I no longer prepare fo
I no longer prepare food or drink with more than one ingredient., Cyra McFadden,
Poets have been myster
Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese., G. K. Chesterton, English author mystery novelist (1874 1936)
Beware so long as you
Beware so long as you live, of judging people by appearances., La Fontaine,
No matter how rich you
No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather., Michael Pritchard,
We seem to believe it
We seem to believe it is possible to ward off death by following rules of good grooming., Don Delillo,
The man who says he is
The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance., Laurence J. Peter, US educator writer (1919 1988)
Give me the luxuries o
Give me the luxuries of life and I will willingly do without the necessities., Frank Lloyd Wright, US architect (1869 1959)
The greatest use of li
The greatest use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it., William James, US Pragmatist philosopher psychologist (1842 1910)
Life is an unbroken su
Life is an unbroken succession of false situations., Thornton Wilder, US dramatist novelist (1897 1975)
We think in generaliti
We think in generalities, but we live in detail., Alfred North Whitehead, English mathematician philosopher (1861 1947)
We are continually fac
We are continually faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems., John W. Gardner, US administrator (1912 )
Your first appearance,
Your first appearance, he said to me, is the gauge by which you will be measured try to manage that you may go beyond yourself in after times, but beware of ever doing less., Jean Jacques Rousseau, French political philosopher (1712 1778)
I think that somehow,
I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then live with that decision., Eleanor Roosevelt, US diplomat reformer (1884 1962)
Some people are born o
Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple., Barry Switzer, US football coach (1937 )
Life being what it is,
Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge., Paul Gauguin, French PostImpressionist painter (1848 1903)
Life is like playing a
Life is like playing a violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on., Samuel Butler, English composer, novelist, satiric author (1835 1902)
Eat a third and drink
Eat a third and drink a third and leave the remaining third of your stomach empty. Then, when you get angry, there will be sufficient room for your rage., Babylonian Talmud, tractate Gittin,
I hope that while so m
I hope that while so many people are out smelling the flowers, someone is taking the time to plant some., Herbert Rappaport,
I like long walks, esp
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me., Noel Coward, English actor, dramatist, songwriter (1899 1973)
Always forgive your en
Always forgive your enemies nothing annoys them so much., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
Never have children, o
Never have children, only grandchildren., Gore Vidal, US author dramatist (1925 )
The best way to keep c
The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasantand let the air out of the tires., Dorothy Parker, US author, humorist, poet, wit (1893 1967)
You know that children
You know that children are growing up when they start asking questions that have answers., John J. Plomp,
Never do anything when
Never do anything when you are in a temper, for you will do everything wrong., Baltasar Gracian,
My parents only had on
My parents only had one argument in fortyfive years. It lasted fortythree years., Cathy Ladman,
I take my children eve
I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home., Robert Orben,
The denunciation of th
The denunciation of the young is a necessary part of the hygiene of older people, and greatly assists in the circulation of their blood., Logan Pearsall Smith, Afterthoughts 1931 Age and Death, (1865 1946)
I was so naive as a ki
I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing., Johnny Carson, US comedian television host (1925 2005)
People who get nostalg
People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children., Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, US cartoonist (1958 )
We are born charming,
We are born charming, fresh and spontaneous and must be civilized before we are fit to participate in society., Judith Martin, (Miss Manners),
When anger rises, thin
When anger rises, think of the consequences., Confucius, Chinese philosopher reformer (551 BC 479 BC)
The chief obstacle to
The chief obstacle to the progress of the human race is the human race., Don Marquis, US humorist (1878 1937)
To err is human to for
To err is human to forgive, infrequent., Franklin P. Adams, US journalist (1881 1960)
Never forget what a ma
Never forget what a man says to you when he is angry., Henry Ward Beecher, US abolitionist clergyman (1813 1887)
Anybody can win unless
Anybody can win unless there happens to be a second entry., George Ade, US dramatist humorist (1866 1944)
He who would leap high
He who would leap high must take a long run., Danish Proverb,
Keep away from people
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
It is not enough to ai
It is not enough to aim you must hit., Italian Proverb,
First say to yourself
First say to yourself what you would be and then do what you have to do., Epictetus, Roman (Greekborn) slave Stoic philosopher (55 AD 135 AD)
If you refuse to be ma
If you refuse to be made straight when you are green, you will not be made straight when you are dry., African Proverb,
We must learn to be st
We must learn to be still in the midst of activity and to be vibrantly alive in repose., Indira Gandhi, Indian politician (1917 1984)
Any sufficiently advan
Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses., Unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
Make up your mind to a
Make up your mind to act decidedly and take the consequences. No good is ever done in this world by hesitation., Thomas H. Huxley, English biologist (1825 1895)
Having once decided to
Having once decided to achieve a certain task, achieve it at all costs of tedium and distaste. The gain in selfconfidence of having accomplished a tiresome labor is immense., Arnold Bennett,
For the things we have
For the things we have to learn before we can do them, we learn by doing them., Aristotle, Nichomachean Ethics, Greek critic, philosopher, physicist, zoologist (384 BC 322 BC)
To find a fault is eas
To find a fault is easy to do better may be difficult., Plutarch, Greek biographer moralist (46 AD 120 AD)
We could never learn t
We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world., Helen Keller, US blind deaf educator (1880 1968)
It is better to be hat
It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not., Andre Gide, French critic, essayist, novelist (1869 1951)
Any reviewer who expre
Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae., Kurt Vonnegut, US novelist (1922 )
Let us so live that wh
Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
Most powerful is he wh
Most powerful is he who has himself in his own power., Seneca, Roman dramatist, philosopher, politician (5 BC 65 AD)
Some people imagine th
Some people imagine that nuclear war will mean instant and painless death. But for millions this will not be the case. The accounts of the injured at Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and of the doctors who tried to tend them, witness to the horrors and torments which would be magnified thousands of times over in the kinds of attack we analyse here. . ., Stan Openshaw Doomsday,
Setting loose on the b
Setting loose on the battlefield weapons that are able to learn may be one of the biggest mistakes mankind has ever made. It could also be one of the last., Richard Forsyth Machine Learning for Expert Systems,
Humility must always b
Humility must always be the portion of any man who receives acclaim earned in the blood of his followers and the sacrifices of his friends., Dwight David Eisenhower, address at Guildhall, London, 7/12/45,
War is just to those t
War is just to those to whom war is necessary., Titus Livius, Roman author historian (59 BC 17 AD)
Before a war military
Before a war military science seems a real science, like astronomy but after a war it seems more like astrology., Rebecca West, Irish critic, journalist, novelist (1892 1983)
If we had less statema
If we had less statemanship we could get along with fewer battleships., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
pixel, n.: A mischievo
pixel, n.: A mischievous, magical spirit associated with screen displays. The computer industry has frequently borrowed from mythology: Witness the sprites in computer graphics, the demons in artificial intelligence, and the trolls in the marketing department., Jeff Meyer,
If you wish your merit
If you wish your merit to be known, acknowledge that of other people., Oriental Proverb,
I have a cat named Tra
I have a cat named Trash. In the current political climate it would seem that if I were trying to sell him (at least to a Computer Scientist), I would not stress that he is gentle to humans and is selfsufficient, living mostly on field mice. Rather, I would argue that he is objectoriented., Roger King,
Life was simple before
Life was simple before World War II. After that, we had systems., G. Hopper,
Where a calculator on
Where a calculator on the ENIAC is equpped with 18 vaccuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1 vaccuum tubes and perhaps weigh 1 12 tons., Popular Mechanics, March 1949,
Any sufficiently advan
Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature., Kulawiec,
It is against the grai
It is against the grain of modern education to teach children to program. What fun is there in making plans, acquiring discipline in organizing thoughts, devoting attention to detail, and learning to be selfcritical?, Alan Perlis,
Pick battles big enoug
Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win., Jonathan Kozol,
An apprentice carpente
An apprentice carpenter may want only a hammer and saw, but a master craftsman employs many precision tools. Computer programming likewise requires sophisticated tools to cope with the complexity of real applications, and only practice with these tools will build skill in their use., Robert L. Kruse, Data Structures and Program Design,
All programmers are pl
All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors., Unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
Artificial Intelligenc
Artificial Intelligence: the art of making computers that behave like the ones in movies, Bill Bulko,
Computer Science is no
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes., Professor Edsger Dijkstra,
PL1, the fatal disease
PL1, the fatal disease, belongs more to the problem set than to the solution set., Professor Edsger Dijkstra,
It is practically impo
It is practically impossible to teach good programming style to students that have had prior exposure to BASIC as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration., Professor Edsger Dijkstra,
If the automobile had
If the automobile had followed the same development cyclee as the computer, a RollsRoyce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.", Robert X. Cringely, InfoWorld,
Selfrespect is the cor
Selfrespect is the cornerstone of all virtue., John Herschel, English astronomer (1792 1871)
And, of course, you ha
And, of course, you have the commercials where savvy businesspeople Get Ahead by using their MacIntosh computers to create the ultimate American business product: a really sharplooking report., Dave Barry, US columnist humorist (1947 )
The danger from comput
The danger from computers is not that they will eventually get as smart as men, but that we will meanwhile agree to meet them halfway.", Bernard Avishai,
A politician will alwa
A politician will always tip off his true belief by stating the opposite at the beginning of the sentence. For maximum comprehension, do not start listening until the first clause is concluded. Begin instead at the word but which begins the second, or active, clause. This is the way to tell a liberal from a conservative before they tell you. Thus: I have always believed in a strong national defense, second to none, but ... (a liberal, about to propose a $20 billion defense cut)., Frank Mankiewicz,
What you do speaks so
What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say., Ralph Waldo Emerson, US essayist poet (1803 1882)
Today, a successful Co
Today, a successful Congressman has the fundraising ability of a hooker trying to raise cab fare home...., John L. Jackley, New York Times, 10/29/90, p. A15.,
No one who has read of
No one who has read official documents needs to be told how easy it is to conceal the essential truth under the apparently candid and all disclosing phrases of a voluminous and particularizing report...., Woodrow Wilson, _Congressional Government_, p. 109, 28th president of US (1856 1924)
Political history is l
Political history is largely an account of mass violence and of the expenditure of vast resources to cope with mythical fears and hopes., Murray Edelman, _Politics as Symbolic Action_, p. 1,
Every man is wise when
Every man is wise when attacked by a mad dog fewer when pursued by a mad woman only the wisest survive when attacked by a mad notion., Robertson Davies,
When a dog bites a man
When a dog bites a man that is not news, but when a man bites a dog that is news., Charles Anderson Dana,
The purpose of a liber
The purpose of a liberal arts education is to learn that a person can like both cats *and* dogs!, Sonjay Anand,
Because I have loved l
Because I have loved life, I shall have no sorrow to die., Amelia Burr,
Heaven goes by favour.
Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
If men menstruated, th
If men menstruated, they would brag about how much and for how long., Gloria Steinem, US feminist (1934 )
Feminism is the radica
Feminism is the radical concept that women are people., Cheris Kramarae Paula Treichler,
A single death is a tr
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic., Joseph Stalin, Georgian Soviet politician (1879 1953)
Too many people are th
Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death., James F. Byrnes, US jurist politician (1879 1972)
"A penny for your thou
"A penny for your thoughts?" A dollar for your death., Felix and Oscar, from the Odd Couple,
One must have a heart
One must have a heart of stone to read the death of Little Nell without laughing., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
And what is a good cit
And what is a good citizen? Simply one who never says, does or thinks anything that is unusual. Schools are maintained in order to bring this uniformity up to the highest possible point. A school is a hopper into which children are heaved while they are still young and tender therein they are pressed into certain standard shapes and covered from head to heels with official rubberstamps., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Human history becomes
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe., H.G. Wells,
If you sincerely desir
If you sincerely desire a _truly_ wellrounded education, you must study the extremists, the obscure and nutty. You need the balance! Your poor brain is already being impregnated with middleoftheroad crap, twentyfour hours a day, _no matter what_. Network TV, newspapers, radio, magazines at the supermarket... even if you never watch, read, listen, or leave your house, even if you are deaf and blind, the _telepathic pressure alone_ of the uncountable normals surrounding you will insure that you are automatically well grounded in consensus reality., Rev. Ivan Stang High Weirdness By Mail,
A little learning is a
A little learning is a dangerous thing but a lot of ignorance is just as bad., Bob Edwards,
Any fool can tell the
Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well., Samuel Butler, English composer, novelist, satiric author (1835 1902)
Curiosity is the very
Curiosity is the very basis of education and if you tell me that curiosity killed the cat, I say only the cat died nobly., Arnold Edinborough,
Our American professor
Our American professors like their literature clear, cold, pure and very dead., Sinclair Lewis, US novelist (1885 1951)
It is the mark of an e
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it., Aristotle, Greek critic, philosopher, physicist, zoologist (384 BC 322 BC)
The two most abundant
The two most abundant things in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity., Harlan Ellison.,
Education makes a peop
Education makes a people easy to lead, but difficult to drive easy to govern but impossible to enslave., Baron Henry Peter Brougham,
Education is the best
Education is the best provision for old age., Aristotle, Greek critic, philosopher, physicist, zoologist (384 BC 322 BC)
Knowledge is expensive
Knowledge is expensive., Hanna Gray, current president of the University of Chicago,
If God dropped acid, w
If God dropped acid, would he see people?, Steven Wright, US comedian and actor (1955 )
A man is too apt to fo
A man is too apt to forget that in this world he cannot have everything. A choice is all that is left him., H. Mathews,
A cap of good acid cos
A cap of good acid costs five dollars and for that you can hear the Universal Symphony with God singing solo and the Holy Ghost on drums., Hunter S. Thompson, US journalist (1939 2005)
For example, in Year 1
For example, in Year 1 that useless letter c would be dropped to be replased either by k or s, and likewise x would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which c would be retained would be the ch formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform w spelling, so that which and one would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish y replasing it with i and Iear 4 might fiks the gj anomali wonse and for all. Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6.12.2008 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez c, y and x bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez tu riplais ch, sh, and th rispektivli. Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliyspiking werld., Mark Twain, A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
Experience consists of
Experience consists of experiencing that which one does not wish to experience, quoted by Freud in Jokes and Their Relation To The Unconscience?,
Experience is a hard t
Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards., anonymous,
Experience is what cau
Experience is what causes a person to make new mistakes instead of old ones., anonymous,
We should be careful t
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in itand stop there lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit on a hot stove lid againand that is well but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
If history repeats its
If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must Man be of learning from experience., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
What a price we pay fo
What a price we pay for experience, when we must sell our youth to buy it., Javan,
There was a blithe cer
There was a blithe certainty that came from first comprehending the full Einstein field equations, arabesques of Greek letters clinging tenuously to the page, a gossamer web. They seemed insubstantial when you first saw them, a string of squiggles. Yet to follow the delicate tensors as they contracted, as the superscripts paired with subscripts, collapsing mathematically into concrete classical entities potential mass forces vectoring in a curved geometry that was a sublime experience. The iron fist of the real, inside the velvet glove of airy mathematics., Gregory Benford Timescape,
How did Biot arrive at
How did Biot arrive at the partial differential equation? [the heat conduction equation] . . . Perhaps Laplace gave Biot the equation and left him to sink or swim for a few years in trying to derive it. That would have been merely an instance of the way great mathematicians since the very beginnings of mathematical research have effortlessly maintained their superiority over ordinary mortals., Clifford Truesdell,
The mathematician live
The mathematician lives long and lives young the wings of his soul do not early drop off, nor do its pores become clogged with the earthy particles blown from the dusty highways of vulgar life., James Joseph Sylvester,
...it is certain that
...it is certain that the real function of art is to increase our selfconsciousness to make us more aware of what we are, and therefore of what the universe in which we live really is. And since mathematics, in its own way, also performs this function, it is not only aesthetically charming but profoundly significant. It is an art, and a great art., John W.N. Sullivan,
If you can give your s
If you can give your son or daughter only one gift, let it be enthusiasm., Bruce Barton,
I will not go so far a
I will not go so far as to say that to construct a history of thought without profound study of the mathematical ideas of successive epochs is like omitting Hamlet from the play which is named after him. . . But it is certainly analogous to cutting out the part of Ophelia. This simile is singularly exact. For Ophelia is quite essential to the play, she is very charming and a little mad., Alfred North Whitehead, English mathematician philosopher (1861 1947)
The most extensive com
The most extensive computation known has been conducted over the last billion years on a planetwide scale: it is the evolution of life. The power of this computation is illustrated by the complexity and beauty of its crowning achievement, the human brain., David Rogers, Weather Prediction Using a Genetic Memory,
There is an astonishin
There is an astonishing imagination, even in the science of mathematics... We repeat, there was far more imagination in the head of Archimedes than in that of Homer., Voltaire, French author, humanist, rationalist, satirist (1694 1778)
You can not apply math
You can not apply mathematics as long as words still becloud reality., Hermann Weyl,
God does not care abou
God does not care about our mathematical difficulties. He integrates empirically., Albert Einstein, US (Germanborn) physicist (1879 1955)
Philosophy is a game w
Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules. Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives., Anonymous,
Mathematics transfigur
Mathematics transfigures the fortuitous concourse of atoms into the tracery of the finger of God., Herbert Westren Turnbull,
My specific goal is to
My specific goal is to revolutionize the future of the species. Mathematics is just another way of predicting the future., Ralph Abraham,
Never help a child wit
Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed., Maria Montessori, Italian educator physician (1870 1952)
You know, my Friends,
You know, my Friends, with what a brave CarouseI made a Second Marriage in my house Divorced old barren Reason from my Bed,And took the Daughter of the Vine to Spouse.For Is and Isnot though with Rule and LineAnd Upanddown by Logic I define, Of all that one should care to fathom, IWas never deep in anything but Wine., from the Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam (Translation by Edward Fitzgerald),
The greatest way to li
The greatest way to live with honor in this world is to be what we pretend to be., Socrates, Greek philosopher in Athens (469 BC 399 BC)
My formula for living
My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can., Cary Grant, US movie actor (1904 1986)
Not till we are lost,
Not till we are lost, in other words, not till we have lost the world, do we begin to find ourselves, and realize the infinite extent of our relations., Henry David Thoreau, US Transcendentalist author (1817 1862)
We are here to add to
We are here to add to the sum of human goodness. To prove the thing exists. And however futile each individual act of courage or generosity, selfsacrifice or graceit still proves the thing exists. Each act adds to the fund. It needs replenishment. Not only because evil flourishes, and is, most indefensibly, defended. But because goodness is no longer a respectable aim in life. The hound of hell, envy, has driven it from the house., Josephine Hart, Sin,
We owe a deep debt of
We owe a deep debt of gratitude to Adam, the first great benefactor of the human race: he brought death into the world., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
Nothing in the entire
Nothing in the entire universe ever perishes, believe me, but things vary, and adopt a new form. The phrase being born is used for beginning to be something different from what one was before, while dying means ceasing to be the same. Though this thing may pass into that, and that into this, yet the sums of things remains unchanged., Ovid, Metamorphoses, Roman poet (43 BC 17 AD)
No one can build his s
No one can build his security upon the nobleness of another person., Willa Cather, US novelist (1873 1947)
The only completely co
The only completely consistent people are the dead., Aldous Huxley, English critic novelist (1894 1963)
He is one of those pep
He is one of those peple who would be enormously improved by death, H.H. Munro (Saki),
What I look forward to
What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death., Dave Barry, US columnist humorist (1947 )
The marvel of all hist
The marvel of all history is the patience with which men and women submit to burdens unnecessarily laid upon them by their governments., William H. Borah,
The spirit of resistan
The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions that I wish it to be always kept alive., Thomas Jefferson, 3rd president of US (1743 1826)
The real question of g
The real question of government versus private enterprise is argued on too philosophical and abstract a basis. Theoretically, planning may be good. But nobody has ever figured out the cause of government stupidity and until they do (and find the cure) all ideal plans will fall into quicksand., Richard Feynman, US educator physicist (1918 1988)
Every culture has its
Every culture has its distinctive and normal system of government. Yours is democracy, moderated by corruption. Ours is totalitarianism, moderated by assassination., Unknown Russian,
Beware of too much lau
Beware of too much laughter, for it deadens the mind and produces oblivion., The Talmud,
A thing can be true an
A thing can be true and still be desperate folly., Richard Adams, _Watership Down_,
It is fatal to be righ
It is fatal to be right when the rest of the world is wrong., Brother Theodore,
Pardon him, Theodotus:
Pardon him, Theodotus: he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature., George Bernard Shaw, Ceasar and Cleopatra, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
Nature is earlier than
Nature is earlier than man, but man is earlier than natural science., von Weizsacker,
He who wonders discove
He who wonders discovers that this in itself is wonder., M. C. Escher, Dutch artist (1898 1972)
There is nothing more
There is nothing more practical than a good theory., Leonid Ilich Brezhnev, quoted in V Rich, Nature, 1977 270 pp4701,
network: anything reti
network: anything reticulated or decussated, with interstices between the intersections, from the Dictionary of Samuel Johnson,
Live TV died in the la
Live TV died in the late 1950s, electronic bulletin boards came along in the mid1980s, meaning there was about a 25year gap when it was difficult to put your foot in your mouth and have people all across the country know about it., Mark Leeper,
Where so many hours ha
Where so many hours have been spent in convincing myself that I am right, is there not some reason to fear I may be wrong?, Jane Austen, English novelist (1775 1817)
It can be shown that f
It can be shown that for any nutty theory, beyondthefringe political view, or strange religion there exists a proponent on the Net. The proof is left as an exercise for your killfile., unattributed truth from r.g.frp,
The basic notion under
The basic notion underlying USENET is the flame., Chuq Von Rospach,
The opposite of a corr
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth., Niels Bohr, Danish physicist (1885 1962)
A technique succeeds i
A technique succeeds in mathematical physics, not by a clever trick, or a happy accident, but because it expresses some aspect of a physical truth., O.G. Sutton,
I know that most men,
I know that most men, including those at ease with problems of the greatest complexity, can seldom accept even the simplest and most obvious truth if it be such as would oblige them to admit the falsity of conclusions which they have delighted in explaining to colleagues, which they have proudly taught to others, and which they have woven, thread by thread, into the fabric of their lives., Leo Tolstoy, Russian mystic novelist (1828 1910)
Truth never comes into
Truth never comes into the world but like a bastard, to the ignominy of him that brought her birth., John Milton, English poet (1608 1674)
Everything has got a m
Everything has got a moral if you can only find it., Lewis Carroll, English author recreational mathematician (1832 1898)
The least deviation fr
The least deviation from truth will be multiplied later., Aristotle, Greek critic, philosopher, physicist, zoologist (384 BC 322 BC)
I stopped believing in
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph., Shirley Temple, US actress, dancer, diplomat (1928 )
I live in the Manageri
I live in the Managerial Age, in a world of Admin. The greatest evil is not now done in those sordid dens of crime that Dickens loved to paint. It is not done even in concentration camps and labour camps. In those we see its final result. But it is conceived and ordered (moved, seconded, carried, and minuted) in clean, carpeted, warmed and welllighted offices, by quiet men with white collars and cut fingernails and smoothshaven cheeks who do not need to raise their voices. Hence, naturally enough, my symbol for Hell is something like the bureaucracy of a police state or the office of a thoroughly nasty business concern., C. S. Lewis, English essayist juvenile novelist (1898 1963)
Capitalism is the asto
Capitalism is the astounding belief that the most wickedest of men will do the most wickedest of things for the greatest good of everyone, John Maynard Keynes, English economist (1883 1946)
I like less the story
I like less the story that a frog if put in cold water will not bestir itself if that water is heated up slowly and gradually and will in the end let itself be boiled alive, too comfortable with continuity to realize that continuous change at some point may become intolerable and demand a change in behavior., Charles Handy The Age of Unreason,
Fine art and pizza del
Fine art and pizza delivery, what we do falls neatly in between!, David Letterman, US comedian television host (1947 )
The worst crime agains
The worst crime against working people is a company which fails to operate at a profit., Samuel Gompers, said in 1908,
One can never consent
One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar., Helen Keller, US blind deaf educator (1880 1968)
The market is not an i
The market is not an invention of capitalism. It has existed for centuries. It is an invention of civilization., Mikhail Gorbachev, June 8 1990,
It is not from the ben
It is not from the benevolence of the butcher, the brewer, or the baker, that we expect our dinner, but from their regard to their own selfinterest. We address ourselves, not to their humanity but to their selflove, and never talk to them of our own neccessities but of their advantages., Adam Smith,
All last year we tried
All last year we tried to teach him English, and the only word he learned was million., Tommy Lasorda, on pitcher Fernando Valenzuela,
What you are shouts so
What you are shouts so loud in my ears I cannot hear what you say., Ralph Waldo Emerson, US essayist poet (1803 1882)
I think I am a verb.,
I think I am a verb., R. Buckminster Fuller, US architect engineer (1895 1983)
Man does not live by w
Man does not live by words alone, despite the fact that he sometimes has to eat them., Adlai E. Stevenson Jr., US diplomat Democratic politician (1900 1965)
I have found you an ar
I have found you an argument: but I am not obliged to find you an understanding., Samuel Johnson, English author, critic, lexicographer (1709 1784)
Aim at the sun, and yo
Aim at the sun, and you may not reach it but your arrow will fly far higher than if aimed at an object on a level with yourself., Joel Hawes,
"Where did you put it?
"Where did you put it?" Put what? You know? Where do you think? Oh., Nicholas Negroponte, Director of the MIT Media Lab, stating his ideal model of humancomputer interaction,
For I am a Bear of Ver
For I am a Bear of Very Little Brain, and big words Bother me., Winnie the Pooh,
Sticks and stones will
Sticks and stones will break our bones, but words will break our hearts..., Robert Fulghum, US author Unitarian clergyman (1937 )
...exaggerated turns o
...exaggerated turns of speech conceal mediocre affections: as if the fulness of the soul might not sometimes overflow in the emptiest of metaphors, since no one, ever, can give the exact measurements of his needs, nor of his conceptions, nor of his sufferings, and the human word is like a cracked cauldron upon which we beat out melodies fit for making bears dance when we are trying to move the stars to pity., Gustave Flaubert, Madame Bovary, ch. 12, French realist novelist (1821 1880)
There is a certain age
There is a certain age at which a child looks at you in all earnestness and delivers a long, pleased speech in all the true inflections of spoken English, but with not one recognizable syllable. There is no way you can tell the child that if language had been a melody, he had mastered it and done well, but that since it was in fact a sense, he had botched it utterly., Annie Dillard, _Pilgrim at Tinker Creek_,
Language exists only o
Language exists only on the surface of our consciousness. The great human struggles are played out in silence and in the ability to express oneself., Franz Xavier Kroetz,
Be on the alert to rec
Be on the alert to recognize your prime at whatever time of your life it may occur., Muriel Spark, British author (1918 )
Of the delights of thi
Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
A sympathetic Scot sum
A sympathetic Scot summed it all up very neatly in the remark, You should make a point of trying every experience once, excepting incest and folk dancing., Sir Arnold Bax, British composer (1883 1953)
Meetings are an addict
Meetings are an addictive, highly selfindulgent activity that corporations and other organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate., Alain van der Heide,
We have staked the who
We have staked the whole future of American civilization, not upon the power of government, far from it. We have staked the future of all of our political institutions upon the capacity of mankind of selfgovernment upon the capacity of each and all of us to govern ourselves, to control ourselves, to sustain ourselves according to the Ten Commandments of God., James Madison, (attributed), 4th president of US (1751 1836)
Politics is made up la
Politics is made up largely of irrelevancies., Dalton Camp,
I gather, young man, t
I gather, young man, that you wish to be a Member of Parliament. The first lesson that you must learn is, when I call for statistics about the rate of infant mortality, what I want is proof that fewer babies died when I was Prime Minister than when anyone else was Prime Minister. That is a political statistic., Sir Winston Churchill, British politician (1874 1965)
To look backward for a
To look backward for a while is to refresh the eye, to restore it, and to render it the more fit for its prime function of looking forward., Margaret Fairless Barber,
Politicians should rea
Politicians should read science fiction, not westerns and detective stories., Arthur C. Clarke, English physicist science fiction author (1917 )
Political language an
Political language and with variations this is true of all political parties, from Conservatives to Anarchists is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind., George Orwell, 1946, English essayist, novelist, satirist (1903 1950)
Numerous politicians h
Numerous politicians have seized absolute power and muzzled the press. Never in history has the press seized absolute power and muzzled the politicians., David Brinkley, US television newscaster (1920 2003)
How good bad music and
How good bad music and bad reasons sound when we march against an enemy., Friedrich Nietzsche, German philosopher (1844 1900)
Sure there is music ev
Sure there is music even in the beauty, and the silent note which Cupid strikes, far sweeter than the sound of an instrument. For there is music wherever there is harmony, order and proportion and thus far we may maintain the music of the spheres for those well ordered motions, and regular paces, though they give no sound unto the ear, yet to the understanding they strike a note most full of harmony., Sir Thomas Browne, (1605 1682)
Without music, life wo
Without music, life would be a mistake., Friedrich Nietzsche, German philosopher (1844 1900)
I see music as the aug
I see music as the augmentation of a split second of time., Erin Cleary,
No Voice but oh! the s
No Voice but oh! the silence sank like music on my heart., Samuel Taylor Coleridge, English critic poet (1772 1834)
Philosophy is the high
Philosophy is the highest music., Plato, Greek author philosopher in Athens (427 BC 347 BC)
My teen angst has a bo
My teen angst has a body count., Veronica Heathers,
I have a perfect cure
I have a perfect cure for a sore throat: cut it., Alfred Hitchcock, British movie director (1899 1980)
There is no salvation
There is no salvation in becoming adapted to a world which is crazy., Henry Miller, The Colossus of Maroussi (1941), US author (1891 1980)
Confusion is a word we
Confusion is a word we have invented for an order which is not understood., Henry Miller, US author (1891 1980)
Chaos is the score upo
Chaos is the score upon which reality is written., Henry Miller, US author (1891 1980)
[On recognizing China]
[On recognizing China] But if you recognize anyone it does not mean you like them. For instance, we all recognize the right honourable gentleman the member for Ebbw Vale., Sir Winston Churchill, British politician (1874 1965)
It might be said that
It might be said that Lord Rosebery outlived his future by ten years and his past by more than twenty., Sir Winston Churchill, British politician (1874 1965)
There but for the grac
There but for the grace of God goes God., Sir Winston Churchill, British politician (1874 1965)
If heaven is going to
If heaven is going to be full of people like Hardie, well, the Almighty can have them to himself., Sir Winston Churchill, British politician (1874 1965)
Who will relieve me of
Who will relieve me of this Wuthering Height, Sir Winston Churchill, British politician (1874 1965)
[He] looks at foreign
[He] looks at foreign affairs through the wrong end of a municipal drainpipe., Sir Winston Churchill, British politician (1874 1965)
If crime went down 100
If crime went down 100%, it would still be 50 times higher than it shoud be., Councilman John Bowman commenting on the high crime in Washington,
I want to gain 1,5 or
I want to gain 1,5 or 2 yards, whichever comes first., George Rogers, Saints running back,
While you are away, mo
While you are away, movie stars are taking your women. Robert Redford is dating your girlfriend, Tom Selleck is kissing your lady, Bart Simpson is making love to your wife., Baghdad Betty, Iraqi radio announcer, to gulf war troops,
I first saw President
I first saw President Reagan as a foot, highly polished brown cordovan wagging merrily on a hassock. I spied it through the door. It was a beautiful foot, sleek. Such casual elegance and clean lines! But not a big foot, not formidable, maybe a little ...frail. I imagined cradling it in my arms, protecting it from unsmooth roads., Peggy Noonan, speechwriter for the Reagan administration, US speechwriter for George Bush (1950 )
Half this game is 90,0
Half this game is 90,00% mental., Danny Ozark, manager of the Phillies,
My fellow astronauts..
My fellow astronauts..., Dan Quayle, beginning a speech at an Apollo 11 anniversary celebration, US Republican politician (1947 )
Wherever I have gone i
Wherever I have gone in this country, I have found Americans., Alf Landon, during his speech in his presidential campaign against FDR,
The demonstration that
The demonstration that no possible combination of known substances, known forms of machinery and known forms of force, can be united in a practical machine by which man shall fly long distances through the air, seems to the writer as complete as it is possible for the demonstration of any physical fact to be., Simon Newcomb (declared in 1901),
1. At the rise of the
1. At the rise of the hand of the policeman, stop rapidly. Do not pass him or otherwise disrespect him. 2.10.2008 If pedestrian obstacle your path, tootle horn melodiously. If he continue to obstacle, tootle horn vigorously and utter vocal warning such as Hi, Hi. [...] 5.10.2008 Beware of greasy corner where lurk skid demon. Cease step on, approach slowly, round cautiously, resume step on gradually., from an official Japanese guide for Englishspeaking drivers, 1936,
I was not lying. I sai
I was not lying. I said things that later on seemed to be untrue., Richard Nixon, discussing Watergate,
Equal Rights were crea
Equal Rights were created for everyone., contesant in 1990 Mr. New Jersey Male pageant,
How would it be if we
How would it be if we discovered that aliens only stopped by earth to let their kids take a leak?, Jay Leno, US comedian television host (1950 )
Man is to himself the
Man is to himself the most wonderful object in nature for he cannot conceive what the body is, still less what the mind is, and least of all how a body should be united to a mind. This is the consummation of his difficulties, and yet it is his very being., Blaise Pascal, Pensees(II,72), French mathematician, physicist (1623 1662)
Man is but a reed, the
Man is but a reed, the most feeble thing in nature, but he is a thinking reed. The entire universe need not arm itself to crush him. A vapour, a drop of water, suffices to kill him. But if the universe were to crush him, man would still be more noble than that which killed him, because he knows that he dies and the advantage which the universe has over him the universe knows nothing of this., Blaise Pascal, quoted by Rebecca West in BLACK LAMB AND GREY FALCON: A JOURNEY THROUGH YUGOSLAVIA, 1940, French mathematician, physicist (1623 1662)
The effort to understa
The effort to understand the universe is one of the very few things that lifts human life a little above the level of farce and gives it some of the grace of tragedy., Steven Weinberg, US physicist (1933 )
Human consciousness ar
Human consciousness arose but a minute before midnight on the geological clock. Yet we mayflies try to bend an ancient world to our purposes, ignorant perhaps of the messages buried in its long history. Let us hope that we are still in the early morning of our April day., Stephen Jay Gould, US author, naturalist, paleontologist, popularizer of science (1941 2002)
Be humble for you are
Be humble for you are made of dung. Be noble for you are made of stars., Serbian proverb,
Fools admire, but men
Fools admire, but men of sense approve., Alexander Pope, English poet satirist (1688 1744)
[George Bush] has rais
[George Bush] has raised taxes on the people driving pickup trucks and lowered taxes on the people riding in limousines. We can do better., Bill Clinton, Democratic National Convention, July 16 1992, 42nd president of the United States (1946 )
We have come through a
We have come through a strange cycle in programming, starting with the creation of programming itself as a human activity. Executives with the tiniest smattering of knowledge assume that anyone can write a program, and only now are programmers beginning to win their battle for recognition as true professionals. Not just anyone, with any background, or any training, can do a fine job of programming. Programmers know this, but then why is it that they think that anyone picked off the street can do documentation? One has only to spend an hour looking at papers written by graduate students to realize the extent to which the ability to communicate is not universally held. And so, when we speak about computer program documentation, we are not speaking about the psychology of computer programming at all except insofar as programmers have the illusion that anyone can do a good job of documentation, provided he is not smart enough to be a programmer., Gerald Weinberg, The Psychology of Computer Programming,
The process of prepari
The process of preparing programs for a digital computer is especially attractive, not only because it can be economically and scientifically rewarding, but also because it can be an aesthetic experience much like composing poetry or music., Donald E. Knuth,
The primary purpose of
The primary purpose of the Data statement is to give names to constants instead of referring to pi as 3.141592653589793 at every appearance, the variable Pi can be given that value with a Data statement and used instead of the longer form of the constant. This also simplifies modifying the program, should the value of pi change., Fortran manual for Xerox Computers,
If debugging is the ar
If debugging is the art of removing bugs, then programming must be the art of inserting them., Unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
A good name, like good
A good name, like good will, is got by many actions and lost by one., Lord Jeffery,
If there is, in fact,
If there is, in fact, a Heaven and a Hell, all we know for sure is that Hell will be a viciously overcrowded version of Phoenix..., Hunter S. Thompson, Generation of Swine, US journalist (1939 2005)
...to emphasize the af
...to emphasize the afterlife is to deny life. To concentrate on Heaven is to create hell. In their desperate longing to transcend the disorderliness, friction, and unpredictability that pesters life in their desire for a fresh start in a tidy habitat, germfree and secured by angels, religious multitudes are gambling the only life they may ever have on a dark horse in a race that has no finish line.", Tom Robbins, _Skinny Legs and All_, 1990 p. 305., US novelist (1936 )
We have just enough re
We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love, one another., Jonathan Swift, Irish essayist, novelist, satirist (1667 1745)
The more I study relig
The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself., Sir Richard F. Burton,
If Beethoven had been
If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of 22 it would have changed the history of music... and of aviation., Tom Stoppard, British dramatist screenwriter (1937 )
A celibate clergy is a
A celibate clergy is an especially good idea, because it tends to suppress any hereditary propensity toward fanaticism., Carl Sagan, Contact, US astronomer popularizer of astronomy (1934 1996)
Faith: not *wanting* t
Faith: not *wanting* to know what is true., Friedrich Nietzsche, German philosopher (1844 1900)
In Christianity neithe
In Christianity neither morality nor religion come into contact with reality at any point., Friedrich Nietzsche, German philosopher (1844 1900)
I never write Metropol
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
When I give food to th
When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist., Dom Helder Camara,
Your motivation? Your
Your motivation? Your motivation is your pay packet on Friday. Now get on with it., Noel Coward, English actor, dramatist, songwriter (1899 1973)
I can be expected to l
I can be expected to look for truth but not to find it., Denis Diderot, French author, encyclopedist, philosopher (1713 1784)
The road to truth is l
The road to truth is long, and lined the entire way with annoying bastards, Alexander Jablokov The Place of No Shadows,
There are two kinds of
There are two kinds of men who never amount to much: those who cannot do what they are told and those who can do nothing else., Cyrus H. Curtis, US publisher (1850 1933)
I want to know the tru
I want to know the truth, however perverted that may sound., Stephen Wolfram,
A lie can travel halfw
A lie can travel halfway round the world while the truth is putting on its shoes., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
I never could tell a l
I never could tell a lie that anybody would doubt, nor a truth that anybody would believe., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
What is the difference
What is the difference between unethical and ethical advertising? Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public ethical advertising uses truth to deceive the public., Vilhjalmur Stefanss,
The folly of mistaking
The folly of mistaking a paradox for a discovery, a metaphor for a proof, a torrent of verbiage for a spring of capital truths, and oneself for an oracle, is inborn in us., Paul Valery, French critic poet (1871 1945)
Scientists are the eas
Scientists are the easiest to fool. They think in straight, predictable, directable, and therefore misdirectable, lines. The only world they know is the one where everything has a logical explanation and things are what they appear to be. Children and conjurorsthey terrify me. Scientists are no problem against them I feel quite confident., Zambendorf, _Code of the Lifemaker_ by James P. Hogan,
All that is necessary
All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing., Edmund Burke, Irish orator, philosopher, politician (1729 1797)
I almost think it is t
I almost think it is the ultimate destiny of science to exterminate the human race., Thomas Love Peacock,
The most merciful thin
The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the deadly light into the peace and safety of a new dark age., H.P. Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu,
What can I wish to the
What can I wish to the youth of my country who devote themselves to science? ...Thirdly, passion. Remember that science demands from a man all his life. If you had two lives that would not be enough for you. Be passionate in your work and in your searching., Ivan Pavlov, Russian physiologist (1849 1936)
The sciences do not tr
The sciences do not try to explain, they hardly even try to interpret, they mainly make models. By a model is meant a mathematical construct which, with the addition of certain verbal interpretations, describes observed phenomena. The justification of such a mathematical construct is solely and precisely that it is expected to work., John Von Neumann,
Books must follow scie
Books must follow sciences, and not sciences books., Sir Francis Bacon, English author, courtier, philosopher (1561 1626)
Science would be ruine
Science would be ruined if (like sports) it were to put competition above everything else, and if it were to clarify the rules of competition by withdrawing entirely into narrowly defined specialties. The rare scholars who are nomadsbychoice are essential to the intellectual welfare of the settled disciplines., Benoit Mandelbrot,
...a science is said t
...a science is said to be useful if its development tends to accentuate the existing inequalities in the destribution of wealth, or more directly promotes the destruction of human life., G.H. Hardy,
It is not fair to ask
It is not fair to ask of others what you are unwilling to do yourself., Eleanor Roosevelt, US diplomat reformer (1884 1962)
The avoidance of taxes
The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that still carries any reward., John Maynard Keynes, English economist (1883 1946)
That young girl is one
That young girl is one of the least benightedly unintelligent organic life forms it has been my profound lack of pleasure not to be able to avoid meeting., Marvin, _Life, the Universe, and Everything_ by Douglas Adams,
Over the past ten year
Over the past ten years, for the first time, intelligence had become socially correct for girls., Tom Wolfe, Bonfire of the Vanities, US author journalist (1931 )
The intelligent man is
The intelligent man is one who has successfully fulfilled many accomplishments, and is yet willing to learn more., Ed Parker, Grandmaster, American Kenpo.,
Man has made use of hi
Man has made use of his intelligence, he invented stupidity., Remy de Gourmont,
So far as I can rememb
So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence., Bertrand Russell, British author, mathematician, philosopher (1872 1970)
What a distressing con
What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult., Sigmund Freud, Austrian psychologist (1856 1939)
Let us overthrow the t
Let us overthrow the totems, break the taboos. Or better, let us consider them cancelled. Coldly, let us be intelligent., Pierre Trudeau, Canadian politician (1919 2000)
Dignity consists not i
Dignity consists not in possessing honors, but in the consciousness that we deserve them., Aristotle, Greek critic, philosopher, physicist, zoologist (384 BC 322 BC)
...no man of genuinely
...no man of genuinely superior intelligence has ever been an actor. Even supposing a young man of appreciable mental powers to be lured upon the stage, as philosophers are occasionally lured into bordellos, his mind would be inevitably and almost immediately destroyed by the gaudy nonsense issuing from his mouth every night., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
I think that God in cr
I think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
In the beginning Man c
In the beginning Man created God and in the image of Man created he him., "Aqualung" Jethro Tull,
An apology for the dev
An apology for the devil: it must be remembered that we have heard one side of the case. God has written all the books., Samuel Butler, English composer, novelist, satiric author (1835 1902)
God created sex. Pries
God created sex. Priests created marriage., Voltaire, French author, humanist, rationalist, satirist (1694 1778)
After all, he thought
After all, he thought he was God., FBI agent on why it was difficult to negotiate with David Koresh,
.... You ask, What is
.... You ask, What is our policy? I will say It is to wage war, by sea, land and air, with all our might and with all the strength that God can give us: to wage war against a monstrous tyranny, never surpassed in the dark lamentable catalogue of human crime. That is our policy. You ask, What is our aim? I can answer with one word: Victory victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be for without victory there is no survival., Sir Winston Churchill, 1940 in his first address as the newly appointed Prime Minister., British politician (1874 1965)
Men are equal it is no
Men are equal it is not birth but virtue that makes the difference., Voltaire, French author, humanist, rationalist, satirist (1694 1778)
Very little is known a
Very little is known about the War of 1812 because the Americans lost it., Eric Nicol,
[The U.S. victory in G
[The U.S. victory in Gulf war was] a stirring victory for the forces of aggression., Dan Quayle, 4.11.1991 (reported in Esquire, 8/92), US Republican politician (1947 )
Vietnam is a jungle. Y
Vietnam is a jungle. You had jungle warfare. Kuwait, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, you have sand. [There is no need to worry about a protracted war because] from a historical basis, Middle East conflicts do not last a long time., Dan Quayle, 10.02.1990 (reported in Esquire, 8/92), US Republican politician (1947 )
To conquer the enemy w
To conquer the enemy without resorting to war is the most desirable. The highest form of generalship is to conquer the enemy by strategy., Ancient Chinese Warlord,
Take the diplomacy out
Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week., Will Rogers, US humorist showman (1879 1935)
No poor bastard ever w
No poor bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making other bastards die for their country., General George Patton,
A nation is a society
A nation is a society united by delusions about its ancestry and by a common hatred of its neighbors., Dean Inge,
Every gun that is made
Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children. This is not a way of life at all in any true sense. Under the clouds of war, it is humanity hanging on a cross of iron., Dwight David Eisenhower, 1953,
We should have had soc
We should have had socialism already, but for the socialists., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
To the biologist the p
To the biologist the problem of socialism appears largely as a problem of size. The extreme socialists desire to run every nation as a single business concern. I do not suppose that Henry Ford would find much difficulty in running Andorra or Luxembourg on a socialistic basis. He has already more men on his payroll than their population. It is conceivable that a syndicate of Fords, if we could find them, would make Belgium Ltd. or Denmark Inc. pay their way. But while nationalization of certain industries is an obvious possibility in the largest of states, I find it no easier to picture a completely socialized British Empire or United States than an elephant turning somersaults or a hippopotamus jumping a hedge., J.B.S. Haldane, On Being the Right Size in the 1928 book Possible Worlds,
Get your facts first,
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. (Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.), Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
A fact is a simple sta
A fact is a simple statement that everyone believes. It is innocent, unless found guilty. A hypothesis is a novel suggestion that no one wants to believe. It is guilty, until found effective., Edward Teller, US (Hungarianborn) physicist (1908 2003)
It is a capital mistak
It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts., Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, British mystery author physician (1859 1930)
Our view. . . is that
Our view. . . is that it is an essential characteristic of experimentation that it is carried out with limited resources, and an essential part of the subject of experimental design to ascertain how these should be best applied or, in particular, to which causes of disturbance care should be given, and which ought to be deliberately ignored., Sir Ronald A. Fisher,
Be wiser than other pe
Be wiser than other people, if you can, but do not tell them so., Lord Chesterfield, (1694 1773)
The true worth of an e
The true worth of an experimenter consists in his pursuing not only what he seeks in his experiment, but also what he did not seek., Claude Bernard, French physiologist (1813 1878)
Why think? Why not try
Why think? Why not try the experiment?, John Hunter,
Every now and then whe
Every now and then when your life gets complicated and the weasels start closing in, the only cure is to load up on heinous chemicals and then drive like a bastard from Hollywood to Las Vegas ... with the music at top volume and at least a pint of ether., Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, US journalist (1939 2005)
What can be more palpa
What can be more palpably absurd than the prospect held out of locomotives travelling twice as fast as stagecoaches?, The Quarterly Review (England), March 1825,
Inventions reached the
Inventions reached their limit long ago, and I see no hope for further development., Julius Frontinus, 1st century A.D.,
No flying machine will
No flying machine will ever fly from New York to Paris ... [because] no known motor can run at the requisite speed for four days without stopping., Orville Wright,
There is no reason for
There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in their home., Ken Olsen, CEO DEC 1977, US computer engineer industrialist (1926 )
It is difficult to say
It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow., Robert H. Goddard, US physicist pioneer rocket engineer (1882 1945)
It would appear that w
It would appear that we have reached the limits of what it is possible to achieve with computer technology, although one should be careful with such statements, as they tend to sound pretty silly in 5 years., John Von Neumann (ca. 1949),
After several minutes
After several minutes of utterly dull conversation I began to think of her not as a woman but as a human, then not as a human but as an animal, then not as an animal but as a source of highgrade protein., Mark Gooley,
The friendly cow all r
The friendly cow all red and white, I love with all my heart: She gives me cream with all her might to eat with apple tart., Robert Louis Stevenson, Scottish author (1850 1894)
The ultimate test of a
The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but hold hands., Alexander Penney,
When one is trying to
When one is trying to do something beyond his known powers it is useless to seek the approval of friends. Friends are at their best in moments of defeat., Henry Miller, US author (1891 1980)
Each friend represents
Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born., Anais Nin, US (Frenchborn) author diarist (1903 1977)
Truth, springs from ag
Truth, springs from agrument amongst friends., David Hume, Scottish historian philosopher (1711 1776)
Only enemies speak the
Only enemies speak the truth friends and lovers lie endlessly, caught in the web of duty., Stephen King, Roland from The Last Gunslinger, US horror novelist screenwriter (1947 )
Few things in life are
Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee., W.C. Fields,
A book of quotations .
A book of quotations . . . can never be complete., Robert M. Hamilton,
Because he did not hav
Because he did not have time to read every new book in his field, the great Polish anthropologist Bronislaw Malinowski used a simple and efficient method of deciding which ones were worth his attention: Upon receiving a new book, he immediately checked the index to see if his name was cited, and how often. The more Malinowski the more compelling the book. No Malinowski, and he doubted the subject of the book was anthropology at all., Neil Postman,
Where is human nature
Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?, Henry Ward Beecher, US abolitionist clergyman (1813 1887)
There is as much diffe
There is as much difference between us and ourselves as there is between us and others., Michel de Montaigne, French essayist (1533 1592)
Nobody can be exactly
Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it., Tallulah Bankhead, US movie actress (1903 1968)
Man is never honestly
Man is never honestly the fatalist, nor even the stoic. He fights his fate, often desperately. He is forever entering bold exceptions to the rulings of the bench of gods. This fighting, no doubt, makes for human progress, for it favors the strong and the brave. It also makes for beauty, for lesser men try to escape from a hopeless and intolerable world by creating a more lovely one of their own., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Any impatient student
Any impatient student of mathematics or science or engineering who is irked by having algebraic symbolism thrust upon him should try to get along without it for a week., Eric Temple Bell,
Mathematicians are lik
Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language, and forthwith it is something entirely different., Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, German dramatist, novelist, poet, scientist (1749 1832)
Unquestionably, there
Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
The hardest thing in t
The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax., Albert Einstein, US (Germanborn) physicist (1879 1955)
Next to being shot at
Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund., F. J. Raymond,
Look, we play the Star
Look, we play the Star Spangled Banner before every game. You want us to pay income taxes, too?, Bill Veeck, Chicago White Sox,
Be wary of strong drin
Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors and miss., Lazarus Long, Time Enough for Love,
All the taxes paid ove
All the taxes paid over a lifetime by the average American are spent by the government in less than a second., Jim Fiebig,
All the big corporatio
All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can, too, provided you use them for business purposes. For example, if you subscribe to the Wall Street Journal, a businessrelated newspaper, you can deduct the cost of your house, because, in the words of U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice Warren Burger in a landmark 1979 tax decision: Where else are you going to read the paper? Outside? What if it rains?, Dave Barry, Sweating Out Taxes, US columnist humorist (1947 )
All [zoos] actually of
All [zoos] actually offer to the public in return for the taxes spent upon them is a form of idle and witless amusement, compared to which a visit to a penitentiary, or even to a State legislature in session, is informing, stimulating and ennobling., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Cats seem to go on the
Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want., Joseph Wood Krutch, US author critic (1893 1970)
Who can believe that t
Who can believe that there is no soul behind those luminous eyes!, Theophile Gautier,
The only mystery about
The only mystery about the cat is why it ever decided to become a domesticated animal, Sir Compton MacKenzie,
Difficulties strengthe
Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body., Seneca, Roman dramatist, philosopher, politician (5 BC 65 AD)
If toast always lands
If toast always lands butterside down, and cats always land on their feet, what happen if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?, Steven Wright, US comedian and actor (1955 )
You see, wire telegrap
You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat., Albert Einstein, when asked to describe radio, US (Germanborn) physicist (1879 1955)
Women and cats do as t
Women and cats do as they damned well please, and men and dogs had best learn to live with it., Alan Holbrook,
The idea of an incarna
The idea of an incarnation of God is absurd: why should the human race think itself so superior to bees, ants, and elephants as to be put in this unique relation to its maker? . . Christians are like a council of frogs in a marsh or a synod of worms on a dunghill croaking and squeaking for our sakes was the world created., Julian the Apostate,
If we take in our hand
If we take in our hand any volume of divinity or school metaphysics, for instance let us ask, Does it contain any abstract reasoning concerning quantity or number? No. Does it contain any experimental reasoning concerning matter of fact and existence? No. Commit it then to the flames: for it can contain nothing but sophistry and illusion., David Hume, Scottish historian philosopher (1711 1776)
For the skeptic there
For the skeptic there remains only one consolation: if there should be such a thing as superhuman law it is administered with subhuman inefficiency., Eric Ambler,
The man who has nothin
The man who has nothing to boast of but his illustrious ancestry is like the potato the best part under ground., Thomas Overbury, English courtier poet (1581 1613)
I have the distinction
I have the distinction of speaking to you from one of the few countries that still has a communist party., Dennis Miller, MCing the 1991 Emmies,
Usenet is like a herd
Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea massive, difficult to redirect, aweinspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it., Gene Spafford, 1992,
This place makes Maybe
This place makes Mayberry look like a think tank., Dennis Miller (told to me by a CV employee),
Earthly minds, like mu
Earthly minds, like mud walls, resist the strongest batteries and though, perhaps, somethimes the force of a clear argument may make some impression, yet they nevertheless stand firm, keep out the enemy, truth, that would captivate or disturbe them., John Locke, English empiricist philosopher (1632 1704)
Knowledge is not a ser
Knowledge is not a series of selfconsistent theories that converges toward an ideal view it is rather an ever increasing ocean of mutually incompatible (and perhaps even incommensurable) alternatives, each single theory, each fairy tale, each myth that is part of the collection forcing the others into greater articulation and all of them contributing, via this process of competition, to the development of our consciousness., Paul Feyerabend,
The whole problem with
The whole problem with news on television comes down to this: all the words uttered in an hour of news coverage could be printed on page of a newspaper. And the world cannot be understood in one page., Neil Postman,
There are, however, pe
There are, however, people in this world who seldom pick up a newspaper, people who, when watching television, sneer in displeasure and change channels at the first glimpse of an anchorperson. While such willfully uninformed citizens are rare, emerging from seclusion only to serve on juries in trials of great national significance, they do exist., Joe Keenan,
Stay away from needle
Stay away from needle drugs. Richard Nixon is the only dope worth shooting., Abbie Hoffman, US radical activist (1936 1989)
He who fights with mon
He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you., Friedrich Nietzsche, German philosopher (1844 1900)
What a glorious garden
What a glorious garden of wonders the lights of Broadway would be to anyone lucky enough to be unable to read., G.K. Chesterton,
The story so far: In t
The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move., Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, English humorist science fiction novelist (1952 2001)
[F]or academic men to
[F]or academic men to be happy, the universe would have to take shape. All of philosophy has no other goal: it is a matter of giving a frock coat to what is, a mathematical frock coat. On the other hand, affirming that the universe resembles nothing and is only formless amounts to saying that the universe is something like a spider or spit., Battaille,
Shallow men believe in
Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect., Ralph Waldo Emerson, US essayist poet (1803 1882)
Although the whole of
Although the whole of this life were said to be nothing but a dream and the physical world nothing but a phantasm, I should call this dream or phatasm real enough, if, using reason well, we were never deceived by it., Baron Gottfried Wilhelm von Leibniz,
Nature gets credit whi
Nature gets credit which should in truth be reserved for ourselves: the rose for its scent, the nightingale for its song and the sun for its radiance. The poets are entirely mistaken. They should address their lyrics to themselves and should turn them into odes of self congratulation on the excellence of the human mind., Alfred North Whitehead, English mathematician philosopher (1861 1947)
My own suspicion is th
My own suspicion is that the universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we *can* suppose., J.B.S. Haldane, On Being the Right Size in the 1928 book Possible Worlds,
What happens depends o
What happens depends on our way of observing it or on the fact that we observe it., Werner Heisenberg,
We have to remember th
We have to remember that what we observe is not nature in itself but nature exposed to our method of questioning., Werner Heisenberg,
A reasonable probabili
A reasonable probability is the only certainty., E.W. Howe,
For every living creat
For every living creature that succeeds in getting a footing in life there are thousands or millions that perish. There is an enormous random scattering for every seed that comes to life. This does not remind us of intelligent human design. If a man in order to shoot a hare, were to discharge thousands of guns on a great moor in all possible directions if in order to get into a locked room, he were to buy ten thousand casual keys, and try them all if, in order to have a house, he were to build a town, and leave all the other houses to wind and weather assuredly no one would call such proceedings purposeful and still less would anyone conjecture behind these proceedings a higher wisdom, unrevealed reasons, and superior prudence., J.W.N. Sullivan,
He who will not econom
He who will not economize will have to agonize., Confucius, Chinese philosopher reformer (551 BC 479 BC)
The fathers of the fie
The fathers of the field had been pretty confusing: John von Neumann speculated about computers and the human brain in analogies sufficiently wild to be worthy of a medieval thinker, and Alan Turing thought about criteria to settle the question of whether machines can think, a question of which we now know that it is about as relevant as the question of whether submarines can swim., Professor Edsger Dijkstra, at the ACN South Central Regional Conference, Austin, Texas, 16 to 18 Novemver 1984,
Thus, be it understood
Thus, be it understood, to demonstrate a theorem, it is neither necessary nor even advantageous to know what it means....[A] machine might be imagined where the assumptions were put in at one end, while the theorems came out at the other, like the legendary Chicago machine where the pigs go in alive and come out transformed into hams and sausages. No more than these machines need the mathematician know what he does., Henri Poincare, French mathematician physicist (1854 1912)
That all our knowledge
That all our knowledge begins with experience, there is indeed no doubt....but although our knowledge originates WITH experience, it does not all arise OUT OF experience., Immanuel Kant, German philosopher (1724 1804)
The most merciful thin
The most merciful thing in the world . . . is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents., H.P. Lovecraft,
Do not commit your poe
Do not commit your poems to pages alone, sing them I pray you., Virgil, Roman epic poet (70 BC 19 BC)
Adjectives are the pot
Adjectives are the potbelly of poetry., R.Z. Sheppard, book critic,
Since the printing pre
Since the printing press came into being, poetry has ceased to be the delight of the whole community of man it has become the amusement and delight of the few., John Masefield, English author (1878 1967)
It is with words as wi
It is with words as with sunbeams. The more they are condenced, the deeper they burn., Robert Southey, English poet (1774 1843)
Poetry is to hold judg
Poetry is to hold judgment on your soul., Henrik Ibsen, Norweigen Playwright, Norwegian dramatist (1828 1906)
Poetry is the language
Poetry is the language in which man explores his own amazement., Christopher Fry,
Whoever in discussion
Whoever in discussion adduces authority uses not intellect but memory., Leonardo da Vinci, Italian engineer, painter, sculptor (1452 1519)
The test of an author
The test of an author is not to be found merely in the number of his phrases that pass current in the corner of newspapers...but in the number of passages that have really taken root in younger minds., Thomas Higginson,
Quotations (such as ha
Quotations (such as have point and lack triteness) from the great old authors are an act of reverence on the part of the quoter, and a blessing to a public grown superficial and external., Louise Guiney,
Next to the originator
Next to the originator of a good sentence is the first quoter of it. I hate quotations. Tell me what you know., Ralph Waldo Emerson, US essayist poet (1803 1882)
A quotation, like a pu
A quotation, like a pun, should come unsought, and then be welcomed only for some propriety of felicity justifying the intrusion., Robert Chapman,
A person reveals his c
A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents., Georg Christoph Lichtenberg, (1742 1799)
With just enough of le
With just enough of learning to misquote., Lord Byron, English poet satirist (1788 1824)
Confound those who hav
Confound those who have said our remarks before us., Aelius Donatus,
The ability to quote i
The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit., W. Somerset Maugham, English dramatist novelist (1874 1965)
A facility for quotati
A facility for quotation covers the absence of original thought., Lord Peter Wimsey, Gaudy Night,
God gave us our memori
God gave us our memories so that we might have roses in December., J.M. Barrie,
Most modern calendars
Most modern calendars mar the sweet simplicity of our lives by reminding us that each day that passes is the anniversary of some perfectly uninteresting event., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
One of the keys to hap
One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory., Rita Mae Brown, US author and social activist )
If you were to destroy
If you were to destroy in mankind the belief in immortality, not only love but every living force maintaining the life of the world would at once be dried up. Moreover, nothing then would be immoral, everything would be permissible, even cannibalism., Brothers Karamazov, Pt 1 Bk i, Ch 6,
We gladly feast on tho
We gladly feast on those who would subdue us ... not just pretty words, Fester., Morticia Addams from the Addams Family movie,
Never be entirely idle
Never be entirely idle but either be reading, or writing, or praying or meditating or endeavoring something for the public good., Thomas a Kempis, German mystic religious author (1380 1471)
An undefined problem h
An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions., Robert A. Humphrey,
Tongue a variety of m
Tongue a variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a cut of beef and a piece of dead cow., Bob Ekstrom, Pitt, MN,
Theories should be as
Theories should be as simple as possible, but not simpler., Albert Einstein, US (Germanborn) physicist (1879 1955)
Entia non sunt multipl
Entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem (Entities must not be multiplied beyond necessity.), William Occam,
Anyone who is not shoc
Anyone who is not shocked by quantum theory has not understood it., Niels Bohr, Danish physicist (1885 1962)
Whenever you fall, pic
Whenever you fall, pick up something, Oswald Theodore Avery,
Barring that natural e
Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough., Mark Twain, A Curious Dream (1872), US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
Adults are just obsole
Adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them., Dr. Seuss a.k.a. Theodore Giesel,
Give a man a fish and
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime., Chinese Proverb,
Morality is the herdin
Morality is the herdinstinct in the individual., Friedrich Nietzsche, German philosopher (1844 1900)
The only unnatural sex
The only unnatural sexual act is that which you cannot perform., Alfred Kinsey,
This coffee plunges in
This coffee plunges into the stomach...the mind is aroused, and ideas pour forth like the battalions of the Grand Army on the field of battle.... Memories charge at full gallop...the light cavalry of comparisons deploys itself magnificently the artillery of logic hurry in with their train of ammunition flashes of wit pop up like sharpshooters., Honore de Balzac, French realist novelist (1799 1850)
Strategy is buying a b
Strategy is buying a bottle of fine wine when you take a lady out for dinner. Tactics is getting her to drink it., Frank Muir,
Everything that can be
Everything that can be invented has been invented., Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. patent office, 1899 (attributed),
Water generally flows
Water generally flows downhill in this area., Bob Bennett, WDIV News 4 Detroit, reporting on a flood that destroyed some suburban basement apartments.,
It was mentioned on CN
It was mentioned on CNN that the new prime number discovered recently is four times bigger then the previous record., John Blasik,
The affections are lik
The affections are like lightning You cannot tell where they will strike till they have fallen, Jean Baptiste Lacoraire,
There is no excellent
There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion., Sir Francis Bacon, English author, courtier, philosopher (1561 1626)
I would rather see the
I would rather see the portrait of a dog that I know, than all the allegorical paintings they can show me in the world., Samuel Johnson, English author, critic, lexicographer (1709 1784)
Time is dead as long a
Time is dead as long as it is being clicked off by little wheels only when the clock stops does time come to life., William Faulkner, US novelist (1897 1962)
Los Angeles seems endl
Los Angeles seems endlessly held between these extremes: of light and dark of surface and depth. Of the promise, in brief, of a meaning always hovering on the edge of significance., Graham Clarke,
LA needs the cleansing
LA needs the cleansing of a great disaster or founding of a barricaded commune., Peter Plagens,
In the South of Califo
In the South of California has gathered the larges and most miscellaneous assortment of Messiahs, Sorcerers, Saints and Seers known to the history of aberrations., Farnsworth Crowder,
On thinking about Hell
On thinking about Hell, I gather My brother Shelley found it was a place Much like the city of London. I Who live in Los Angeles and not in London Find, on thinking about Hell, that it must be Still more like Los Angeles., Bertolt Brecht, German Communist dramatist (1898 1956)
From Mount Hollywood,
From Mount Hollywood, Los Angeles looks rather nice, enveloped in a haze of changing colors. Actually, and in spite of all the healthful sunshine and ocean breezes, it is a bad place full of old, dying people, who were born old of tired pioneer parents, victims of America full of curious wild and poisonous growths, decadent religious cults and fake science, and wildcat enterprises, which, with their aim for quick profit, are doomed to collapse and drag down multitudes of people., Louis Adamic,
You can rot here witho
You can rot here without feeling it., John Rechy,
Here is an artificial
Here is an artificial city which has been pumped up under forced draught, inflated like a balloon, stuffed with rural humanity like a goose with corn...endeavoring to eat up this too rapid avalanche of anthropoids, the sunshine metropolis heaves and strains, sweats and becomes popeyed, like a young boa constrictor trying to swallow a goat. It has never imparted an urban character to its incoming population for the simple reason that it has never had any character to impart. On the other hand, the place has the manners, culture and general outlook of a huge country village., Morrow Mayo,
Los Angeles, it should
Los Angeles, it should be understood, is not a mere city. On the contrary, it is, and has been since 1888 a commodity something to be advertised and sold to the people of the United States like automobiles, cigarettes and mouth wash., Morrow Mayo,
Nothing is at last sac
Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind., Ralph Waldo Emerson, US essayist poet (1803 1882)
A foolish consistency
A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesman and philosophers and divines., Ralph Waldo Emerson, US essayist poet (1803 1882)
No trumpets sound when
No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our life are made. Destiny is made known silently., Agnes de Mille, US choreographer dancer (1909 1993)
Through and through th
Through and through the world is infested with quantity. To talk sense is to talk quantities, It is no use saying the nation is large how large? It is no use s aying that radium is scarce how scarce? You can not evade quantity. You may fly to poetry and music and quantity and number will face you in your rhythms and your octaves., Alfred North Whitehead, English mathematician philosopher (1861 1947)
For after all what is
For after all what is man in nature? A nothing in relation to infinity, all in relation to nothing, a central point between nothing and all and infinitely far from understanding either. The ends of things and their beginnings are impregnably concealed from him in an impenetrable secret. He is equally incapable of seeing the nothingness out of which he was drawn and the infinite in which he is engulfed., Blaise Pascal, French mathematician, physicist (1623 1662)
Nobel prize money is a
Nobel prize money is a lifebelt thrown to a swimmer who has already reached the shore in safety., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
Too many of us look up
Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves., Albert Einstein, US (Germanborn) physicist (1879 1955)
Experience teaches slo
Experience teaches slowly and at the cost of mistakes., James A. Froude, English historian (1818 1894)
A liberal is a man too
A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel., Robert Frost, US poet (1874 1963)
Conservatives are not
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives., John Stuart Mill, English economist philosopher (1806 1873)
We all live in the pro
We all live in the protection of certain cowardices which we call our principles., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
Do not fear death so m
Do not fear death so much but rather the inadequate life., Bertolt Brecht, German Communist dramatist (1898 1956)
Believe me! The secret
Believe me! The secret of reaping the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment from life is to live dangerously!, Friedrich Nietzsche, German philosopher (1844 1900)
Secret thoughts and op
Secret thoughts and open countenance will go safely over the whole world., Scipione Alberti,
O God, that men should
O God, that men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains!, Othello,
A mind once stretched
A mind once stretched by a new idea never regains its original dimension., Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr., US jurist (1841 1935)
I not only use all the
I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that I can borrow., Woodrow Wilson, 28th president of US (1856 1924)
If little else, the br
If little else, the brain is an educational toy., Tom Robbins, US novelist (1936 )
I bet the human brain
I bet the human brain is a kludge., Marvin Minsky,
The anatomical juxtapo
The anatomical juxtaposition of 2 orbicularis oris muscles in a state of contraction., Dr. Henry Gibbons,
Documentation is like
Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good and when it is bad, it is better than nothing., Dick Brandon,
True love comes quietl
True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked., Erich Segal,
Do not expose your Las
Do not expose your LaserWriter to fire or intense heat., Apple LaserWriter manual,
This document describe
This document describes the usage and input syntax of the Unix Vax11 assembler As. As is designed for assembling code produced by the C compiler certain concessions have been made to handle code written directly by people, but in general little sympathy has been extended., Berkeley Vax/Unix Assembler Reference Manual (1983),
The use of COBOL cripp
The use of COBOL cripples the mind its teaching should, therefore, be reguarded as a criminal offense., E.W. Dijkstra,
... it is important to
... it is important to realize that any lock can be picked with a big enough hammer., Sun System Network Admin manual,
Five senses an incurab
Five senses an incurably abstract intellect a haphazardly selective memory a set of preconceptions and assumptions so numerous that I can never examine more than minority of them never become conscious of them all. How much of total reality can such an apparatus let through?, C. S. Lewis, English essayist juvenile novelist (1898 1963)
The effort to understa
The effort to understand the universe is one of the very few things that lifts human life a little above the level of farce, and gives it some of the grace of tragedy., Steven Weinberg, US physicist (1933 )
There is no need to sa
There is no need to sally forth, for it remains true that those things which make us human are, curiously enough, always close at hand. Resolve then, that on this very ground, with small flags waving and tiny blasts of tiny trumpets, we have met the enemy, and not only may he be ours, he may be us., Walt Kelly, US animator cartoonist (1913 1973)
The secret of being bo
The secret of being boring is to say everything., Voltaire, French author, humanist, rationalist, satirist (1694 1778)
How is the Empire?, Ge
How is the Empire?, George V, last words, 21 January 1936.,
I realize that patriot
I realize that patriotism is not enough. I must have no hatred or bitterness towards anyone., Edith Cavell, last words, before her execution by the Germans, 12 October 1915.,
Put out the light., Th
Put out the light., Theodore Roosevelt, last words, 6 January 1919, 26th president of US (1858 1919)
So little doneso much
So little doneso much to do., Cecil John Rhodes (Founder of the Rhodes Scholarships), last words, 1902.,
I have tried so hard t
I have tried so hard to do the right., Grover Cleveland, last words, 1908.,
Let us cross the river
Let us cross the river, and rest under the trees., Thomas Jonathan [Stonewall] Jackson, last words, 10 May 1863.,
Now comes the mystery.
Now comes the mystery., Henry Ward Beecher, last words, 8 March 1887., US abolitionist clergyman (1813 1887)
The world is my countr
The world is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion., Thomas Paine, US patriot political philosopher (1737 1809)
Strike the tent., Robe
Strike the tent., Robert E. Lee, last words, 12 October 1870., USConfederate general (1807 1870)
I now have no time to
I now have no time to be tired., Wilhelm I, last words, 8 March 1888.,
I still live., Daniel
I still live., Daniel Webster, last words, 24 October 1852., US diplomat, lawyer, orator, politician (1782 1852)
Chief of the Army., Na
Chief of the Army., Napoleon Bonaparte, last words, 1821, French general politician (1769 1821)
This is the last of ea
This is the last of earth! I am content., John Quincy Adams, last words, 21 February 1848., US diplomat politician (1767 1848)
Thank God, I have done
Thank God, I have done my duty. Kiss me, Hardy., Adm. Horatio Nelson, last words, 21 Oct 1805.,
I only regret that I h
I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country., Nathan Hale, last words, 22 September 1776, US martyr patriot in American Revolution (1755 1776)
It is well, I die hard
It is well, I die hard, but I am not afraid to go., George Washington, last words, 14 December 1799., First president of US (1732 1799)
Show my head to the pe
Show my head to the people, it is worth seeing., Georges Jacques Danton, to his executioner,
Readers are plentiful
Readers are plentiful thinkers are rare., Harriet Martineau, English economist novelist (1802 1876)
An idealist is one who
An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
More light! Give me mo
More light! Give me more light!, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, German dramatist, novelist, poet, scientist (1749 1832)
Is it the Fourth?, Tho
Is it the Fourth?, Thomas Jefferson, 3rd president of US (1743 1826)
Jefferson still surviv
Jefferson still survivies., John Adams, last words after a lifetime competing with Thomas Jefferson, US diplomat politician (1735 1826)
Goodnight, Lord Byron,
Goodnight, Lord Byron, last words, English poet satirist (1788 1824)
This is no time to mak
This is no time to make new enemies., Voltaire, when asked on his deathbed to forswear Satan., French author, humanist, rationalist, satirist (1694 1778)
They can conquer who b
They can conquer who believe they can., Virgil, Roman epic poet (70 BC 19 BC)
Why yes a bulletproof
Why yes a bulletproof vest., James Rodges, a murderer, on his final request before the firing squad,
Drink to me., Pablo Pi
Drink to me., Pablo Picasso, last words, Spanish Cubist painter (1881 1973)
Friends applaud, the c
Friends applaud, the comedy is over., Ludwig von Beethoven, last words,
Now comes the mystery.
Now comes the mystery., Henry Ward Beecher, last words, US abolitionist clergyman (1813 1887)
...the fog is rising.,
...the fog is rising., Last words of Emily Dickinson,
The society which scor
The society which scorns excellence in plumbing as a humble activity and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because it is an exaulted activity will have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy...neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water., John W. Gardner, US administrator (1912 )
...in the lexicon of t
...in the lexicon of the political class, the word sacrifice means that the citizens are supposed to mail even more of their income to Washington so that the political class will not have to sacrifice the pleasure of spending it., George Will Newsweek, 2/22/93,
A knave a rascal an ea
A knave a rascal an eater of broken meats a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, threesuited, hundredpound, filthy, worstedstocking knave a lilylivered, actiontaking knave, a whoreson, glassgazing, superserviceable finical rogue onetrunkinheriting slave one that wouldst be a bawd, in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar, and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch: one whom I will beat into clamorous whining, if thou deniest the least syllable of thy addition., Earl of Kent, _The_Tragedy_of_King_Lear_,
A selfbalancing, 28joi
A selfbalancing, 28jointed adaptorbased biped an electrochemical reduction plant, integral with segregated stowages of special energy extracts in storage batteries, for subsequent actuation of thousands of hydraulic and pneumatic pumps, with motors attached 62 miles of capillaries...., R. Buckminster Fuller, US architect engineer (1895 1983)
Fear is the tax that c
Fear is the tax that conscience pays to guilt., George Sewell,
The poor wish to be ri
The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead., Ann Landers, US advice columnist (1918 2002)
I married the first ma
I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell my children that, they just about throw up., Barbara Bush, US wife of George Bush 1945 (1925 )
Warning signs that lov
Warning signs that lover is bored: 1.10.2008 Passionless kisses 2.10.2008 Frequent sighing 3.10.2008 Moved, left no forwarding address., Matt Groening, US cartoonist satirist (1954 )
The charity that haste
The charity that hastens to proclaim its good deeds, ceases to be charity, and is only pride and ostentation., William Hutton,
Women with pasts inter
Women with pasts interest men... they hope history will repeat itself., Mae West, US movie actress (1892 1980)
SUREFIRE SINGLES AD: F
SUREFIRE SINGLES AD: Famous Writer needs woman to organize his life and spend his money. Loves to turn off Sunday football and go to the Botanical Gardens with that special someone. Will obtain plastic surgery if necessary., Joe Bob Briggs,
Women are cursed, and
Women are cursed, and men are the proof., Rosanne Barr,
I require three things
I require three things in a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid., Dorothy Parker, US author, humorist, poet, wit (1893 1967)
Never date a woman you
Never date a woman you can hear ticking., Mark Patinkin,
Have you ever dated so
Have you ever dated someone because you were too lazy to commit suicide?, Judy Tenuta,
Generosity is giving m
Generosity is giving more than you can, and pride is taking less than you need., Kahlil Gibran, Lebanese artist poet in US (1883 1931)
Love is an exploding c
Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke., Lynda Barry,
The only way to get ri
The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
Hell must be isotherma
Hell must be isothermal for otherwise the resident engineers and physical chemists (of which there must be some) could set up a heat engine to run a refrigerator to cool off a portion of their surroundings to any desired temperature., Henry Albert Ben, _The Second Law_,
Worry does not empty t
Worry does not empty tomorrow of sorrow it empties today of strength., Corrie ten Boom,
Learning builds daily
Learning builds daily accumulation, but the practice of Tao builds daily simplification. Simplify and simplify, until all contamination from relative, contridictory thinking is eliminated. Then one does nothing, yet nothing is left undone. One who wins the world does so by not meddling with it. One who meddles with the world loses it., Tao te Ching, 48. LaoTzu,
There is nothing more
There is nothing more difficult to take in hand, more perilous to conduct or more uncertain in its success than to take the lead in the introduction of a new order of things., Niccolo Machiavelli The Prince 1532,
[W]e shall continue to
[W]e shall continue to have a worsening ecologic crisis until we reject the Christian axiom that nature has no reason for existence save to serve man., Lynn White, Jr., The Historical Roots of Our Ecologic Crisis, Science V. 155 No. 3767 (10 March 1967), pp. 12031207.,
It is by acts and not
It is by acts and not by ideas that people live., Anatole France, French novelist (1844 1924)
The Christian resoluti
The Christian resolution to find the world ugly and bad has made the world ugly and bad., Friedrich Nietzsche, German philosopher (1844 1900)
Whenever we read the o
Whenever we read the obscene stories, the voluptuous debaucheries, the cruel and torturous executions, the unrelenting vindictiveness, with which more than half the bible is filled, it would seem more consistent that we called it the word of a demon than the Word of God. It is a history of wickedness that has served to corrupt and brutalize mankind., Thomas Paine, US patriot political philosopher (1737 1809)
I love deadlines. I lo
I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by., Douglas Adams, English humorist science fiction novelist (1952 2001)
The universe is made o
The universe is made of stories, not atoms., Muriel Rukeyser,
All dimensions are cri
All dimensions are critical dimensions, otherwise why are they there?, Russ Zandbergen,
Destiny is no matter o
Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved., William Jennings Bryan, US lawyer, orator, politician (1860 1925)
Equation (1.29) is a s
Equation (1.29) is a second order, nonlinear, vector, differential equation which has defied solution in its present form. It is here therefore we depart from the realities of nature to make some simplifying assumptions..., Bate, Mueller White, 1971 Fundamentals of Astrodynamics,
For most of history, A
For most of history, Anonymous was a woman., Virginia Woolf, English novelist (1882 1941)
There is no royal road
There is no royal road to geometry., Euclid, to king Ptolemy I,
...for no man lives in
...for no man lives in the external truth among salts and acids, but in the warm, phantasmagoric chamber of his brain, with the painted windows and the storied wall., Robert Louis Stevenson, Scottish author (1850 1894)
But, my dearest Agatho
But, my dearest Agathon, it is truth which you cannot contradict you can without any difficulty contradict Socrates., Plato, in Symposium, Greek author philosopher in Athens (427 BC 347 BC)
This became a credo of
This became a credo of mine...attempt the impossible in order to improve your work., Bette Davis, US movie actress (1908 1989)
Kneejerk liberals and
Kneejerk liberals and all the certified saints of sanctified humanism are quick to condemn this great and muchmaligned Transylvanian statesman., William F. Buckley, Jr., The Wit and Wisdom of Vlad the Impaler,
Life is but a walking
Life is but a walking Shadow, a poor Player That struts and frets his Hour upon the Stage, And then is heard no more It is a tall Tale, Told by an Idiot, full of Sound and Fury, Signifying nothing.", William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act V, Scene V (MacBeth), Greatest English dramatist poet (1564 1616)
Experience is that mar
Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake when you make it again., Franklin P. Jones,
If you can spend a per
If you can spend a perfectly useless afternoon in a perfectly useless manner, you have learned how to live., Lin Yutang,
Half our life is spent
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save., Will Rogers, US humorist showman (1879 1935)
In a world where there
In a world where there is so much to be done. I felt strongly impressed that there must be something for me to do., Dorothea Dix, US reformer of prisons mental asylums (1802 1887)
There is nothing more
There is nothing more notable in Socrates than that he found time, when he was an old man, to learn music and dancing, and thought it time well spent., Michel de Montaigne, French essayist (1533 1592)
Eternity is not someth
Eternity is not something that begins after you are dead. It is going on all the time. We are in it now., Charlotte P Gilman,
As if you could TELL t
As if you could TELL time without injuring eternity., Matthew Ryan,
As if you could kill t
As if you could kill time without injuring eternity., Henry David Thoreau, US Transcendentalist author (1817 1862)
Time is but the stream
Time is but the stream I go afishing in. I drink at it but while I drink, I see the sandy bottom and detect how shallow it is. Its thin current slides away, but eternity remains. I would drink deeper fish fill the sky, whose bottom is pebbly with stars. I cannot count one. I know not the first letter of the alphabet. I have always been regretting that I was not as wise as the day I was born., Henry David Thoreau, US Transcendentalist author (1817 1862)
I have realized that t
I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is., Alan Watts,
The more things a man
The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respectable he is., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
Decide what you want,
Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work., H. L. Hunt,
Nothing ever is done i
Nothing ever is done in this world until men are prepared to kill one another if it is not done., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
Liberty means responsi
Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
He who has never hoped
He who has never hoped can never despair., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
He who can, does. He w
He who can, does. He who cannot teaches., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
Do not do unto others
Do not do unto others as you would they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
All professions are co
All professions are conspiracies against the laity., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
All great truths begin
All great truths begin as blasphemies., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
Great minds think alik
Great minds think alike, and fools seldom differ., Anonymous,
A chinese philosopher
A chinese philosopher once had a dream that he was a butterfly. From that day on, he was never quite certain that he was not a butterfly, dreaming that he was a man., Unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
Genius hath electric p
Genius hath electric power which earth can never tame., Lydia M. Child,
An effective way to de
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible., Unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
A financier is a pawnb
A financier is a pawnbroker with imagination., Arthur Wing Pinero, English dramatist (1855 1934)
The world of the commo
The world of the commodity is a world updsidedown, which bases itself not upon life but upon the transformation of life into work., Raoul Vaneigem,
I would feel more opti
I would feel more optimistic about a bright future for man if he spent less time proving that he can outwit Nature and more time tasting her sweetness and respecting her seniority., E.B. White,
War will never cease u
War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebums and smaller adrenal glands., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
There was a young man
There was a young man of Dundoo, Whose limericks stopped at line 2., Anonymous,
Selfdevelopment is a h
Selfdevelopment is a higher duty than selfsacrifice., Elizabeth Cady Stanton, US suffragist (1815 1902)
There is a level of co
There is a level of cowardice lower than that of the conformist: the fashionable nonconformist., Ayn Rand, US (Russianborn) novelist (1905 1982)
This is quite a threep
This is quite a threepipe problem., Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, (Sherlock Holmes), British mystery author physician (1859 1930)
There is nothing like
There is nothing like good food, good wine, and a bad girl., Fortune cookie,
Order, unity and conti
Order, unity and continuity are human inventions just as truly as catalogues and encyclopedias., Bertrand Russell, British author, mathematician, philosopher (1872 1970)
A consistent pursuit o
A consistent pursuit of classical physics forces a transformation in the very heart of that physics., Werner Heisenberg, Philosophical Problems of Nuclear Science, New York: Fawcett 1966 p.13,
You cannot depend on y
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
My empty waterdish moc
My empty waterdish mocks me., Bob the Dog,
If dogs could talk, it
If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one., Andrew A. Rooney,
A boy can learn a lot
A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down., Robert Benchley, US actor, author, humorist (1889 1945)
Would I had phrases th
Would I had phrases that are not known, utterances that are strange, in new language that has not been used, free from repetition, not an utterance which has grown stale, which men of old have spoken., Egyptian Inscription Recorded at the Time of the Invention of Writing,
The reason why so few
The reason why so few good books are written is that so few people who can write know anything., Walter Bagehot, English economist journalist (1826 1877)
Where do I find the ti
Where do I find the time for not reading so many books?, Karl Kraus, Austrian author and journalist (1874 1936)
Never judge a book by
Never judge a book by its movie., J.W. Eagan,
Internet is so big, so
Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life., Andrew Brown,
Usenet is like Tetris
Usenet is like Tetris for people who still remember how to read., Button from the Computer Museum, Boston, MA,
Hold a true friend wit
Hold a true friend with both hands., Nigerian Proverb,
The only purpose for w
The only purpose for which power can be rightfully exercised over any member of a civilized community, against his will, is to prevent harm to others. His own good, either physical or moral, is not a sufficient warrant., John Stuart Mill, On Liberty, 1859, English economist philosopher (1806 1873)
In matters of conscien
In matters of conscience, the law of majority has no place., Mahatma Gandhi, Indian ascetic nationalist leader (1869 1948)
Now, here, you see, it
Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!, Lewis Carroll (Charles Lutwidge Dodgson), Through the Looking Glass,
Some of us are becomin
Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry., Gloria Steinem, US feminist (1934 )
Women remember the fir
Women remember the first kiss, men remember the last., Unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
All dogmas perish the
All dogmas perish the thinking mind, especially ones you agree with., Adam Richardson,
The tools of conquest
The tools of conquest do not necessarily come with bombs and explosions and fallout. There are weapons that are simply thoughts, attitudes, prejudices to be found in the minds of men. For the record, prejudices can kill and suspicion can destroy, and a thoughtless, frightened search for a scapegoat has a fallout all its own for the children and the children yet unborn. And the pity of it is that these things cannot be confined to the Twilight Zone., Rod Serling, US actor, producer, screenwriter (1924 1975)
Take only pictures, st
Take only pictures, steal only time, leave only footprints., Unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
The only cure for grie
The only cure for grief is action., George Henry Lewes,
I am into parallel mon
I am into parallel monogamy., Seen on a button,
Why is it that we ente
Why is it that we entertain the belief that for every purpose odd numbers are the most effectual?, Pliny the Elder, Roman scholar scientist (23 AD 79 AD)
Everybody winds up ki
Everybody winds up kissing the wrong person good night., Andy Warhol, US artist (1928 1987)
Most affections are ha
Most affections are habits or duties we lack the courage to end., Henri de Montherlant,
I despise the pleasure
I despise the pleasure of pleasing people that I despise., Lady Mary Wortley Montagu, English letter author poet (1689 1762)
Christmas is a holiday
Christmas is a holiday that persecutes the lonely, the frayed, and the rejected., Jimmy Cannon,
Vox populi, vox humbug
Vox populi, vox humbug., William Tecumseh Sherman,
He will always be a sl
He will always be a slave who does not know how to live upon a little., Horace, Roman lyric poet satirist (65 BC 8 BC)
A ceremony in which ri
A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the gentleman., Herbert Spencer, English philosopher (1820 1903)
Neither Heaven nor Hel
Neither Heaven nor Hell. It is simply Purgatory., Abraham Lincoln, 16th president of US (1809 1865)
A legal or religious c
A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other... until death do them join., Elbert Hubbard, US author (1856 1915)
An institution which i
An institution which is populare because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
During the Samuel John
During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk today we have small men enjoying big talk., Fred Allen, US radio comedian (1894 1956)
O why was I born with
O why was I born with a different face? Why was I not born like rest of my race?, William Blake 1803,
If I have any beliefs
If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons., James Thurber, US author, cartoonist, humorist, satirist (1894 1961)
Honest differences are
Honest differences are often a healthy sign of progress., Mahatma Gandhi, Indian ascetic nationalist leader (1869 1948)
The world is so dreadf
The world is so dreadfully managed, one hardly knows to whom to complain., Ronald Firbank,
A pessimist is a man w
A pessimist is a man who has been compelled to live with an optimist., Elbert Hubbard, US author (1856 1915)
An intelligence servic
An intelligence service is, in fact, a stupidity service., E.B. White,
There is no expedient
There is no expedient to which a man will not go to avoid the labor of thinking., Thomas A. Edison, US inventor (1847 1931)
We do not have to visi
We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds our planet is the mental institution of the universe., Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, German dramatist, novelist, poet, scientist (1749 1832)
I personally think we
I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain., Lily Tomlin, US actress comedienne (1939 )
There is no satisfacti
There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
The world belongs to t
The world belongs to the energetic., Ralph Waldo Emerson, US essayist poet (1803 1882)
Nothing is so aggravat
Nothing is so aggravating as calmness., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
Life is an effort that
Life is an effort that deserves a better cause., Karl Kraus, Austrian author and journalist (1874 1936)
A scout troop consists
A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid., Jack Benny, US comedian (1894 1974)
Like the ski resort fu
Like the ski resort full of girls hunting for husbands and husbands hunting for girls, the situation is not as symmetrical as it might seem., Alan Mackay,
Honesty is the best po
Honesty is the best policy but he who is governed by that maxim is not an honest man., Richard Whately, Archbishop of Dublin,
To be honest, as this
To be honest, as this world goes, is to be one man picked out of ten thousand., Hamlet II:ii,
Love is what we call t
Love is what we call the situation which occurs when two people who are sexually comptatible discover that they can also tolerate one another in various other circumstances., Marc Maihueird,
In prosperity our frie
In prosperity our friends know us in adversity we know our friends., John Churton Collins,
The reason that lovers
The reason that lovers never weary each other is because they are always talking about themselves., La Rochefoucauld,
People would never fal
People would never fall in love if they had not heard love talked about., La Rochefoucauld,
Say what you will abou
Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
What God hath joined t
What God hath joined together no man shall put asunder: God will take care of that., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
The making of a journa
The making of a journalist: no ideas and the ability to express them., Karl Kraus, Austrian author and journalist (1874 1936)
A newspaper consists o
A newspaper consists of just the same number of words, whether there be any news in it or not., Henry Fielding, English dramatist novelist (1707 1754)
Editor: a person emplo
Editor: a person employed on a newspaper whose business it is to seperate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed., Elbert Hubbard, US author (1856 1915)
Aviation in itself is
Aviation in itself is not inherently dangerous. But to an even greater degree than the sea, it is terribly unforgiving of carelessness, incapacity, or neglect., Anonymous,
I can understand compa
I can understand companionship. I can understand bought sex in the afternoon. I cannot understand the love affair., Gore Vidal, US author dramatist (1925 )
I can remember when th
I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty., George Burns, US actor comedian (1896 1996)
Dealing with network e
Dealing with network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks., Eric Sevareid,
Over in Hollywood they
Over in Hollywood they almost made a great picture, but they caught it in time., Wilson Mizner, US screenwriter (1876 1933)
Man is the only animal
Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them., Samuel Butler, English composer, novelist, satiric author (1835 1902)
Thanksgiving Day is a
Thanksgiving Day is a day devoted by persons with inflammatory rheumatism to thanking a loving Father that it is not hydrophobia., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
A venturesome minority
A venturesome minority will always be eager to get off on their own... let them take risks, for Godsake, let them get lost, sunburnt, stranded, drowned, eaten by bears, buried alive under avalanches that is the right and privilege of any free American., 16 Idaho Law Review 407 420 1980.,
In archaeology you unc
In archaeology you uncover the unknown. In diplomacy you cover the known., Thomas Pickering, US diplomat (1931 )
For visions come not t
For visions come not to polluted eyes., Mary Howitt,
Always do right. This
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
Bureaucracy defends th
Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status., Laurence J. Peter, US educator writer (1919 1988)
I have no idea what Wh
I have no idea what White House statement was was issued, but I stand by it 100 percent., Richard Darman,
When you have no basis
When you have no basis of argument, abuse the plaintiff., Cicero, Roman author, orator, politician (106 BC 43 BC)
Television has done mu
Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it., Alfred Hitchcock, British movie director (1899 1980)
Television has raised
Television has raised writing to a new low., Samuel Goldwyn, US (Polishborn) movie producer (1882 1974)
Never lend your car to
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth., Erma Bombeck, US author humorist (1927 1996)
All American cars are
All American cars are basically Chevrolets., Herb Caen,
Mathematics has given
Mathematics has given economics rigor, but alas, also mortis., Robert Heilbroner,
An economist is a surg
An economist is a surgeon with an excellent scalpel and a roughedged lancet, who operates beautifully on the dead and tortures the living., Nicholas Chamfort, (1741 1794)
Atheism has no room fo
Atheism has no room for human rights., U.S. Senate Chaplain Richard Halverson, addressing 600 people at a prayer breakfast, March 1992 in Wisconsin,
The Godless would deny
The Godless would deny and destroy human rights .... the liberties of a nation cannot be secure when belief in God is abandoned., U.S. Senate Chaplain Richard Halverson,
The duration of passio
The duration of passion is proportionate with the original resistance of the woman., Honore de Balzac, French realist novelist (1799 1850)
The reasonable man ada
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world the unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
If you were in a room
If you were in a room with Kadaffi, Saddam Hussien, and John Sununu, and you only had two bullets, what would you do. Shoot John Sununu twice., Paul Tsongas,
Deeds, not stones, are
Deeds, not stones, are the true monuments of the great., John L. Motley, US historian (1814 1877)
More people out of wor
More people out of work leads to higher unemployment.`, Calvin Coolidge, 30th president of US (1872 1933)
If there were no husba
If there were no husbands, who would look after our mistresses?, George Moore,
Ignorance is like a de
Ignorance is like a delicate exotic fruit touch it and the bloom is gone., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
Irony is the hygiene o
Irony is the hygiene of the mind., Elizabeth Bibesco,
Egotism is the anesthe
Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity., Frank Leahy,
Now and then an innoce
Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature., Kin Hubbard, (1868 1930)
Nobody, as long as he
Nobody, as long as he moves about among the chaotic currents of life, is without trouble., Carl Jung, Swiss psychologist (1875 1961)
In rivers and bad gove
In rivers and bad governments, the lightest things swim at the top., Benjamin Franklin, US author, diplomat, inventor, physicist, politician, printer (1706 1790)
Congress consists of o
Congress consists of one third, more or less, scoundrels two thirds, more or less, idiots and three thirds, more or less, poltroons., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Government expands to
Government expands to absorb revenue and then some., Tom Wicker,
The whole dream of dem
The whole dream of democracy is to raise the proletarian to the level of stupidity attained by the bourgeois., Gustave Flaubert, French realist novelist (1821 1880)
At least when I was go
At least when I was govenor, cocaine was expensive., Jerry Brown,
The difference between
The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer., Victor Borge, US (Danishborn) comedian pianist (1909 2000)
Of all noises, I think
Of all noises, I think music is the least disagreeable., Samuel Johnson, English author, critic, lexicographer (1709 1784)
Music is the refuge of
Music is the refuge of souls ulcerated by happiness., E.M. Cioran,
Going to the opera, li
Going to the opera, like getting drunk, is a sin that carries its own punishment with it, and that a very severe one., Hannah Moore,
1492. As children we w
1492. As children we were taught to memorize this year with pride and joy as the year people began living full and imaginative lives on the continent of North America. Actually, people had been living full and imaginative lives on the continent of North America for hundreds of years before that. 1492 was simply the year sea pirates began to rob, cheat, and kill them., Kurt Vonnegut: Breakfast of Champions,
The man who has confid
The man who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of others., Hasidic Saying,
What men call good fel
What men call good fellowship is commonly but the virtue of pigs in a litter which lie close together to keep each other warm., Henry David Thoreau, US Transcendentalist author (1817 1862)
Love is so much better
Love is so much better when you are not married., Maria Callas,
Husbands are like fire
Husbands are like fires they go out when unattended., Zsa Zsa Gabor, US (Hungarianborn) actress (1919 )
Marriage is a bargain,
Marriage is a bargain, and somebody has to get the worst of the bargain., Helen Rowland, (1876 1950)
Darling: the popular f
Darling: the popular form of address used in speaking to a person of the opposite sex whose name you cannot at the moment recall, Oliver Herford,
You want a wife who is
You want a wife who is intelligent, but not too intelligent., President Nixon, on the best wife for a president,
There is no accountabi
There is no accountability in the public school system except for coaches. You know what happens to a losing coach. You fire him. A losing teacher can go on losing for 30 years and then go to glory., Ross Perot, The Dallas Morning News, March 11 1984,
I came from a disadvan
I came from a disadvantaged home. They were Republicans., Paul Tsongas, campaigning in New Hampshire,
He that falls in love
He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals., Benjamin Franklin, US author, diplomat, inventor, physicist, politician, printer (1706 1790)
George Bush taking cre
George Bush taking credit for the Berlin Wall coming down is like the rooster taking credit for the sunrise., Al Gore during 1992 Vice Presidential debate,
It is a curious thing
It is a curious thing ... that every creed promises a paradise which will be absolutely uninhabitable for anyone of civilized taste., Evelyn Waugh, English novelist satirist (1903 1966)
A critic is a legless
A critic is a legless man who teaches running., Channing Pollock,
A celebrity is a perso
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized., Fred Allen, US radio comedian (1894 1956)
A bureaucrat is a Demo
A bureaucrat is a Democrat who holds some office that a Republican wants., Alben W. Barkley, U.S Vice President (19491953),
One must be poor to kn
One must be poor to know the luxury of giving., George Eliot, English novelist (1819 1880)
No opera plot can be s
No opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible., Wystan Hugh Auden,
Society produces rogue
Society produces rogues, and education makes one rogue cleverer than another., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
Democracy encourages t
Democracy encourages the majority to decide things about which the majority is blissfully ignorant., John Simon,
Every improvement in c
Every improvement in communication makes the bore more terrible., Frank Moore Colby,
Whatever else an Ameri
Whatever else an American believes or disbelieves about himself, he is absolutely sure he has a sense of humor., E.B. White,
In order to fully real
In order to fully realize how bad a popular play can be, it is necessary to see it twice., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
If sex is such a natur
If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to?, Bette Midler, US actress, comedienne, singer (1945 )
Seize from every momen
Seize from every moment its unique novelty, and do not prepare your joys., Andre Gide, French critic, essayist, novelist (1869 1951)
Make your bargain befo
Make your bargain before beginning to plow., Arab Proverb,
The United States is a
The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced., Frank Zappa, US musician, singer, songwriter (1940 1993)
Advertising is a valua
Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, especially if the goods are worthless., Sinclair Lewis, US novelist (1885 1951)
We always have been, w
We always have been, we are, and I hope that we always shall be detested in France., Duke of Wellington,
Big nations are like c
Big nations are like chickens. They like to make big noises, but very often it is no more than squabbling., Dr. Albert Schweitzer, Playboy Interview December 1963,
No national political
No national political party is going to nominate another rightwing candidate for a long time., Arthur Schlesinger, Jr., Playboy Interview May 1966,
Racism, pollution and
Racism, pollution and the rest of it are themselves very close to extinction., R. Buckminster Fuller, Playboy Interview February 1972, US architect engineer (1895 1983)
The human race may wel
The human race may well become extinct before the end of the century., Bertrand Russell, Playboy Interview March 1963, British author, mathematician, philosopher (1872 1970)
I see in the near futu
I see in the near future a crisis approaching that unnerves me and causes me to tremble for the safety of my country. . . . Corporations have been enthroned, an era of corruption in high places will follow, and the moneypower of the country will endeavor to prolong its reign by working upon the prejudices of the people until the wealth is aggregated in a few hands and the Republic is destroyed., Unknown, Often attributed to Abraham Lincoln, Quotations by unknown authors )
Our patience will achi
Our patience will achieve more than our force., Edmund Burke, Irish orator, philosopher, politician (1729 1797)
Who could follow Carso
Who could follow Carson? Well, believe me, somebody can and will., Johnny Carson, Playboy Interview December 1967, US comedian television host (1925 2005)
I believe that all of
I believe that all of us ought to retire relatively young., Fidel Castro, Playboy Interview January 1967,
I really do plan to ge
I really do plan to get out of show business within five years or so., Bill Cosby, Playboy Interview May 1969, US comedian television actor (1937 )
By working faithfully
By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day., Robert Frost, US poet (1874 1963)
Love all, trust a few.
Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to none., William Shakespeare, Greatest English dramatist poet (1564 1616)
The trouble with Ameri
The trouble with America is that there are far too many wideopen spaces surrounded by teeth., Charles Luckman,
I love acting. It is s
I love acting. It is so much more real than life., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
...they no longer felt
...they no longer felt like newlyweds, and even less like belated lovers. It was as if they had lept over the arduous calvary of conjugal life and gone straight to the heart of love. They were together in silence like an old married couple wary of life, beyond the pitfalls of passion, beyond the brutal mockery of hope and the phantoms of disillusion: beyond love. For they had lived together long enough to know that love was always love, anytime and anyplace, but it was more solid the closer it came to death., Gabriel Garcia Marquez, from Love in the Time of Cholera,
The denunciation of th
The denunciation of the young is a necessary part of the hygiene of older people, and greatly assists the circulation of the blood., Logan Pearsall Smith, (1865 1946)
The only people who se
The only people who seem to have nothing to do with the education of the children are the parents., G.K. Chesterton,
I pride myself on the
I pride myself on the fact that my work has no socially redeeming value., John Waters,
No man should marry be
No man should marry before he has studied anatomy and dissected the body of a woman., Honore de Balzac, French realist novelist (1799 1850)
Be aware that a halo h
Be aware that a halo has to fall only a few inches to be a noose., Dan McKinnon,
Always be nice to thos
Always be nice to those younger than you, because they are the ones who will be writing about you., Cyril Connolly, (1903 1974)
I am a gentleman: I li
I am a gentleman: I live by robbing the poor., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
The place where optimi
The place where optimism flourishes the most is the lunatic asylum., Havelock Ellis, English sexual psychologist (1859 1939)
There is no satisfacti
There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
A woman will buy anyth
A woman will buy anything she thinks the store is losing money on., Kin Hubbard, (1868 1930)
While I am not a fan o
While I am not a fan of corporal punishment, I am not a fan of his friends Major Nuisance or General Disturbance., Elaine Richards,
Close your mouth, Mich
Close your mouth, Michael we are not a codfish., Mary Poppins,
When the character of
When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends., Japanese Proverb,
There are situations i
There are situations in which torture is not merely permissible but morally mandatory., Michael Levin,
And thou shalt smite t
And thou shalt smite thine enemy even unto the wall, gnashing thy teeth, and he shall grow small in thy mirrors., Jeff Zurschmeide,
People that are really
People that are really weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history., Dan Quayle, 09/88, US Republican politician (1947 )
Even in civilized mank
Even in civilized mankind faint traces of monogamous instincts can be perceived., Bertrand Russell, British author, mathematician, philosopher (1872 1970)
The chief objection of
The chief objection of playing wind instruments is that it prolongs the life of the player., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
The perfect host requi
The perfect host requires the perfect parasite., Adopted from Lance Fusco.,
Coincidences are spiri
Coincidences are spiritual puns., G.K. Chesterton,
Write down the advice
Write down the advice of him who loves you, though you like it not at present., English Proverb,
The higher the buildin
The higher the buildings, the lower the morals., Noel Coward, English actor, dramatist, songwriter (1899 1973)
Good breeding consists
Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
An Irishman is the onl
An Irishman is the only man in the world who will step over the bodies of a dozen naked women to get to a bottle of stout., Unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
No one can earn a mill
No one can earn a million dollars honestly., William Jennings Bryan, US lawyer, orator, politician (1860 1925)
Gentility is what is l
Gentility is what is left over from rich ancestors after the money is gone., John Ciardi, US poet (1916 1986)
The chief value of mon
The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Be a good listener. Yo
Be a good listener. Your ears will never get you in trouble., Frank Tyger,
Civilization is the di
Civilization is the distance man has placed between himself and his excreta., Brian Aldiss,
Everyone realized that
Everyone realized that Computervision stock was the golden goose. But one grabbed the leg, another grabbed a wing, another got the neck, all pulling hard, and they realize now they could kill the goose if they keep this up., Charles Foundyller of Daratech, from 8/14/92 Wall St Journal,
What dreadful hot weat
What dreadful hot weather we have! It keeps me in a continual state of inelegance., Jane Austen, English novelist (1775 1817)
Success is a great deo
Success is a great deodorant., Elizabeth Taylor, British movie actress (1932 )
Higher emotions are wh
Higher emotions are what separate us from the lower orders of life... Higher emotions, and table manners., Deanna Troi, _Imzadi_, Star Trek The Next Generation,
I like to keep a bottl
I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy., W.C. Fields,
The infliction of crue
The infliction of cruelty with a good conscience is a delight to moralists that is why they invented hell., Bertrand Russell, British author, mathematician, philosopher (1872 1970)
I prefer the company o
I prefer the company of peasants because they have not been educated sufficiently to reason incorrectly., Michel de Montaigne, French essayist (1533 1592)
We make a living by wh
We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give., Sir Winston Churchill, British politician (1874 1965)
When solving a panic y
When solving a panic you must first ask yourself what you were doing that could possibly frighten an operating system., Peter van der Linden,
I was much distressed
I was much distressed by next door people who had twin babies and played the violin but one of the twins died, and the other has eaten the fiddle so all is peace., Edward Lear,
Hell hath no fury like
Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned., Milton Friedman, US economist (1912 )
Mr. Gates is up to his
Mr. Gates is up to his eyeballs in his knowledge of this stuff., US District Judge Royce Lambeth, ordering CIA Director Robert Gates to testify at the Clair George trial.,
It was not their irrit
It was not their irritating assumption of equality that annoyed Nicholai so much as their cultural confusions. The Americans seemed to confuse standard of living with quality of life, equal opportunity with institutionalized mediocrity, bravery with courage, machismo with manhood, liberty with freedom, wordiness with articulation, fun with pleasure in short, all of the misconceptions common to those who assume that justice implies equality for all, rather than equality for equals., Trevanian from the novel Shibumi,
Melpomene was a substa
Melpomene was a substantial girl, thick of bosom, ankle, and forearm, rosy of cheek, and clear of eye. She seemed somehow incomplete without her hockey stick., Trevanian from the novel Shibumi,
Never make anything si
Never make anything simple and efficient when a way can be found to make it complex and wonderful., Unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
You should not live on
You should not live one way in private, another in public., Publilius Syrus, (~100 BC)
Washington is a city o
Washington is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm., John F. Kennedy, US Democratic politician (1917 1963)
Never lie when the tru
Never lie when the truth is more profitable., Stanislaw J. Lec, Polish writer (1909 1966)
Popularity is the one
Popularity is the one insult I have never suffered., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
To be stupid, selfish,
To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost., Gustave Flaubert, French realist novelist (1821 1880)
National Health Insura
National Health Insurance: The compassion of the IRS The efficiency of the Postal Service All at Pentagon prices!!!!, Seen on a bumper sticker,
Anybody can win, unle
Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry., George Ade, US dramatist humorist (1866 1944)
Courtly lovepoetry may
Courtly lovepoetry may first have been written during long periods of abstinence on the Crusades, but it would not have flourished in the cold of northern Europe without some help from the chimney., James Burke,
There is no passion li
There is no passion like that of a functionary for his function., Georges Clemenceau, French politician (1841 1929)
The strongest man in t
The strongest man in the world is the man who stands alone., Thomas H. Huxley, English biologist (1825 1895)
Reason and Justice tel
Reason and Justice tell me that there is more love of man in electricity and steam, than in chastity and refusal to eat meat., Chekov of Tolstoy,
Giving every man a vot
Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Duct tape is like the
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and a dark side, and it holds the universe together., Carl Zwanzig,
The fickleness of the
The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
If this is coffee, ple
If this is coffee, please bring me some tea but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee., Abraham Lincoln, 16th president of US (1809 1865)
There are three intole
There are three intolerable things in life cold coffee, lukewarm champagne, and overexcited women., Orson Welles, US actor director (1915 1985)
Make money and the who
Make money and the whole nation will conspire to call you a gentleman., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
Most vegetarians look
Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals., Finley Peter Dunne,
The trouble with this
The trouble with this country is that there are too many people going about saying, The trouble with this country is...., Sinclair Lewis, US novelist (1885 1951)
The probability that w
The probability that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe to be just., Abraham Lincoln, 16th president of US (1809 1865)
I think, therefore Des
I think, therefore Descartes exists., Saul Steinberg,
It is often pleasant t
It is often pleasant to stone a martyr, no matter how much we admire him., John Barth, US novelist short story author (1930 )
Americans detest all l
Americans detest all lies except lies spoken in public or printed lies., Ed Howe,
Man is a rational anim
Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason., Orson Welles, US actor director (1915 1985)
Ye shall know the trut
Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad., Aldous Huxley, English critic novelist (1894 1963)
It is after you have l
It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks., Pierre Auguste Renoir,
There ought to be a ro
There ought to be a room in every house to swear in., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
No matter how old a mo
No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middleaged children for signs of improvement., Florida ScottMaxwell,
The trouble with my wi
The trouble with my wife is that she is a whore in the kitchen and a cook in the bed., Geoffrey Gorer,
He that respects himse
He that respects himself is safe from others. He wears a coat of mail that none can pierce., Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, US poet (1807 1882)
Progress might have be
Progress might have been all right once, but it went on too long., Ogden Nash, US humorist poet (1902 1971)
If the Prince of Peace
If the Prince of Peace should come to earth, one of the first things he would do would be to put psychiatrists in their place., Aldous Huxley, English critic novelist (1894 1963)
Politicians are the sa
Politicians are the same the world over: they promise to build a bridge even when there is no river., Nikita Khrushchev, Russian Soviet politician (1894 1971)
I believe in equality
I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers., Mahatma Gandhi, Indian ascetic nationalist leader (1869 1948)
Every author, however
Every author, however modest, keeps a most outrageous vanity chained like a madman in the padded cell of his breast., Logan Pearsall Smith, (1865 1946)
The safest way to doub
The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket., Kin Hubbard, (1868 1930)
Foolish writers and re
Foolish writers and readers are created for each other., Horace Walpole, English author (1717 1797)
Nothing to me is more
Nothing to me is more distasteful than that entire complacency and satisfaction which beam in the countenances of a newly married couple., Charles Lamb, English critic essayist (1775 1834)
All professions are co
All professions are conspiracies against the laity., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
Misery acquaints a man
Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows., William Shakespeare, Greatest English dramatist poet (1564 1616)
Self is the only priso
Self is the only prison that can bind the soul., Henry Van Dyke,
Whosoever is delighted
Whosoever is delighted in solitude is either a wild beast or a god., Sir Francis Bacon, English author, courtier, philosopher (1561 1626)
Man is only man at the
Man is only man at the surface. Remove the skin, dissect, and immediately you come to machinery., Paul Valery, French critic poet (1871 1945)
When my love swears th
When my love swears that she is made of truth, I do believe her, though I know she lies., William Shakespeare, Greatest English dramatist poet (1564 1616)
A painter should not p
A painter should not paint what he sees but what should be seen., Paul Valery, French critic poet (1871 1945)
As an antiAmerican, I
As an antiAmerican, I thank you for your rotten article devoted to my person., Prince Sihanouk in a letter to Time magazine,
Who begins too much ac
Who begins too much accomplishes little., German Proverb,
All you need in this l
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence then success is sure., Mark Twain, Letter to Mrs Foote, Dec. 2 1887, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
Fame lost its appeal f
Fame lost its appeal for me when I went into a public restroom and an autograph seeker handed me a pen and paper under the stall door., Marlo Thomas,
A sign of celebrity is
A sign of celebrity is that his name is often worth more than his services., Daniel J. Boorstin, US historian (1914 )
If only God would give
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank., Woody Allen, US movie actor, comedian, director (1935 )
I have never found in
I have never found in a long experience of politics that criticism is ever inhibited by ignorance., Harold Macmillan, British prime minister (19571963), (1894 1986)
Platitude: an idea (a)
Platitude: an idea (a) that is admitted to be true by everyone, and (b) that is not true., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
The first kiss is stol
The first kiss is stolen by the man the last is begged by the woman., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Selfesteem is the repu
Selfesteem is the reputation we acquire with ourselves., Nathaniel Branden,
Where desire writhed t
Where desire writhed there stands a stone the change was sudden and complete., Maggie Roche,
Alimony is like buying
Alimony is like buying oats for a dead horse., Arthur Baer,
She cried, and the jud
She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook., Tommy Manville,
For a while we pondere
For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have., Woody Allen, US movie actor, comedian, director (1935 )
Love is an ideal thing
Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished., Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, German dramatist, novelist, poet, scientist (1749 1832)
Statistics show that w
Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than on all other days of the year put together. This proves, by the numbers left in stock, that one Fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
Pity the meek, for the
Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth., Don Marquis, US humorist (1878 1937)
Habit is habit and not
Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
Canada is a country wh
Canada is a country whose main exports are hockey players and cold fronts. Our main imports are baseball players and acid rain., Pierre Trudeau, Canadian politician (1919 2000)
My motto is: Contented
My motto is: Contented with little, yet wishing for more., Charles Lamb, English critic essayist (1775 1834)
Psychoanalysts are fat
Psychoanalysts are father confessors who like to listen to the sins of the father as well., Karl Kraus, Austrian author and journalist (1874 1936)
The more he talked of
The more he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons., Ralph Waldo Emerson, US essayist poet (1803 1882)
Men have a much better
Men have a much better time of it than women for one thing, they marry later for another thing they die earlier., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
One should never know
One should never know too precisely whom one has married., Friedrich Nietzsche, German philosopher (1844 1900)
Marriage: a book of wh
Marriage: a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose., Beverly Nichols,
The Preacher, the Poli
The Preacher, the Politicain, the Teacher, Were each of them once a kiddie. A child, indeed, is a wonderful creature. Do I want one? God Forbiddie!, Ogden Nash, US humorist poet (1902 1971)
Oh, life is a glorious
Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, A medley of extemporanea And love is thing that can never go wrong And I am Marie of Romania., Dorothy Parker, US author, humorist, poet, wit (1893 1967)
Unprovided with origin
Unprovided with original learning, unformed in the habits of thinking, unskilled in the arts of composition, I resolved to write a book., Edward Gibbon, English historian of Rome (1737 1794)
I fell asleep reading
I fell asleep reading a dull book and dreamed I kept on reading, so I awoke from sheer boredom., Heinrich Heine, German critic poet (1797 1856)
My father never raised
My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in selfdefense., Fred Allen, US radio comedian (1894 1956)
A bone to the dog is n
A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog, when you are just as hungry as the dog., Jack London, US adventurer, author, sailor (1876 1916)
You must have taken gr
You must have taken great pains, sir you could not naturally been so very stupid., Samuel Johnson, English author, critic, lexicographer (1709 1784)
Each snowflake in an a
Each snowflake in an avalanche pleads not guilty., Stanislaw J. Lec, Polish writer (1909 1966)
Calvin Coolidge was th
Calvin Coolidge was the greatest man who ever came out of Plymouth Corner, Vermont., Clarence Darrow, US defense lawyer (1857 1938)
The best reason I can
The best reason I can think of for not running for President of the United States is that you have to shave twice a day., Adlai E. Stevenson Jr., US diplomat Democratic politician (1900 1965)
What profits a man if
What profits a man if he keeps his eternal soul when he could have lived life to the full and been forgiven at the end of it all anyway?, David Merritt, a.k.a. THE RED SHARK,
The wine seems to be v
The wine seems to be very closedin and seems to have entered a dumb stage. Sort of a Marcel Meursault., Paul S. Winalski,
No nation was ever dru
No nation was ever drunk when wine was cheap., Thomas Jefferson, 3rd president of US (1743 1826)
It is pretty hard to t
It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness poverty and wealth have both failed., Kin Hubbard, (1868 1930)
The world makes up for
The world makes up for all its follies and injustices by being damnably sentimental., Thomas H. Huxley, English biologist (1825 1895)
Get this (economic pla
Get this (economic plan) passed. Later on, we can all debate it., President George Bush, to New Hampshire legislators,
Nobody said it was goi
Nobody said it was going to be easy, and nobody was right., President George Bush, quoted in Asiaweek magazine,
There ought to be one
There ought to be one day just one where there is open season on senators., Will Rogers, US humorist showman (1879 1935)
Patriotism is a pernic
Patriotism is a pernicious, psychopathic form of idiocy., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
A husband should not i
A husband should not insult his wife publicly, at parties. He should insult her in the privacy of the home., James Thurber, US author, cartoonist, humorist, satirist (1894 1961)
Making music should no
Making music should not be left to the professionals., Michelle Shocked,
Charity sees the need
Charity sees the need not the cause., German Proverb,
If Jerry Brown is the
If Jerry Brown is the answer, it must be a very peculiar question., Sen Lloyd Bentsen, DTexas,
In America you can go
In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people., Groucho Marx, US comedian with Marx Brothers (1890 1977)
There is no sadder sig
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist, except an old optimist., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
If more than ten perce
If more than ten percent of the population likes a painting it should be burned, for it must be bad., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
In certain trying circ
In certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
I regret to say that w
I regret to say that we of the F.B.I. are powerless to act in cases of oralgenital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce., J. Edgar Hoover,
Nature magically suits
Nature magically suits a man to his fortunes, by making them the fruit of his character., Ralph Waldo Emerson, US essayist poet (1803 1882)
Our national flower is
Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf., Lewis Mumford, US architect sociologist (1895 1990)
It is the wretchedness
It is the wretchedness of being rich that you have to live with rich people., Logan Pearsall Smith, (1865 1946)
The richer your friend
The richer your friends, the more they will cost you., Elisabeth Marbury,
The only thing I like
The only thing I like about rich people is their money., Lady Astor,
The best part of the f
The best part of the fiction in many novels is the notice that the characters are purely imaginary., Franklin P. Adams, US journalist (1881 1960)
There are plenty of go
There are plenty of good fivecent cigars in the country. The trouble is they cost a quarter. What this country really needs is a good fivecent nickel., Franklin P. Adams, US journalist (1881 1960)
Good habits result fro
Good habits result from resisting temptation., Ancient Proverb,
I hate the pollyanna p
I hate the pollyanna pest who says that all is for the best., Franklin P. Adams, US journalist (1881 1960)
The enemy came. He was
The enemy came. He was beaten. I am tired. Goodnight., Vicomte Turenne, Message sent after the battle of Dunen, 658,
No one can have a high
No one can have a higher opinion of him than I have and I think he is a dirty little beast., W.S. Gilbert,
He, in a few minutes r
He, in a few minutes ravished this fair creature, or at least would have ravished her, if she had not, by a timely compliance, prevented him., Henry Fielding, Jonathan Wild, English dramatist novelist (1707 1754)
Anyone who goes to a p
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined., Samuel Goldwyn, US (Polishborn) movie producer (1882 1974)
There is only one thin
There is only one thing a philosopher can be relied upon to do, and that is to contradict other philosophers., William James, US Pragmatist philosopher psychologist (1842 1910)
Of all the unbearable
Of all the unbearable nuisances, the ignoramus that has travelled is the worst., Kin Hubbard, (1868 1930)
The wisest mind has so
The wisest mind has something yet to learn., George Santayana, US (Spanishborn) philosopher (1863 1952)
To get the attention o
To get the attention of a large animal, be it an elephant or a bureaucracy, it helps to know what part of it feels pain. Be very sure, though, that you want its full attention., Kelvin Throop,
When anyone asks me ho
When anyone asks me how I can best describe my experience in nearly forty years at sea, I merely say, uneventful. Of course there have been winter gales, and storms and fog and the like. But in all my experience, I have never been in any accident... or any sort worth speaking about. I have seen but one vessel in distress in all my years at sea. I never saw a wreck and never have been wrecked nor was I ever in any predicament that threatened to end in disaster of any sort., E. J. Smith, 1907 Captain, RMS Titanic,
The individual choice
The individual choice of garnishment of a burger can be an important point to the consumer in this day when individualism is an increasingly important thing to people., Donald N. Smith, president of Burger King,
Wars teach us not to l
Wars teach us not to love our enemies but to hate our allies., W.L. George,
Only the winners decid
Only the winners decide what were war crimes., Garry Wills,
You can be a rank insi
You can be a rank insider as well as a rank outsider., Robert Frost, US poet (1874 1963)
A strong positive ment
A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug., Patricia Neal,
Muscles come and go fl
Muscles come and go flab lasts., Bill Vaughan,
Autobiography is an un
Autobiography is an unrivalled vehicle for telling the truth about other people., Philip Guedalla, English author popular historian (1889 1944)
Nothing fixes a thing
Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it., Michel de Montaigne, French essayist (1533 1592)
The proof that man is
The proof that man is the noblest of all creatures is that no other creature has ever denied it., Georg Christoph Lichtenberg, (1742 1799)
The pencil sharpener i
The pencil sharpener is about as far as I have ever got in operating a complicated piece of machinery with any success., Robert Benchley, US actor, author, humorist (1889 1945)
Logic is like the swor
Logic is like the sword: those who appeal to it shall perish by it., Samuel Butler, English composer, novelist, satiric author (1835 1902)
Thousands have lived w
Thousands have lived without love, not one without water., W.H. Auden,
I passionately hate th
I passionately hate the idea of being with it. I think an artist has always to be out of step with his time., Orson Welles, 1966, US actor director (1915 1985)
If thou are a master,
If thou are a master, be sometimes blind if a servant, sometimes deaf., Thomas Fuller, English clergyman historian (1608 1661)
I love America. You al
I love America. You always hurt the one you love., David Frye impersonating Nixon,
Something ignoble, loa
Something ignoble, loathsome, undignified attends all associations between people and has been transferred to all objects, dwelling, tools, even the landscape itself., Bertolt Brecht, German Communist dramatist (1898 1956)
America: the only coun
America: the only country in the world where failing to promote yourself is regarded as being arrogant., Garry Trudeau,
My main reason for ado
My main reason for adopting literature as a profession was that, as the author is never seen by his clients, he need not dress respectably., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
A good listener is usu
A good listener is usually thinking about something else., Kin Hubbard, (1868 1930)
Carlyle said, A lie ca
Carlyle said, A lie cannot live it shows he did not know how to tell them., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
I have always imagined
I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library., Jorge Luis Borges, Argentine novelist poet (1899 1986)
Any ordinary man can..
Any ordinary man can...surround himself with two thousand books...and thenceforward have at least one place in the world in which it is possible to be happy., Augustine Birrell,
No place affords a mor
No place affords a more striking conviction of the vanity of human hopes than a public library., Samuel Johnson, English author, critic, lexicographer (1709 1784)
What you have when eve
What you have when everyone wears the same playclothes for all occasions, is addressad by nickname, expected to participate in Show And Tell, and bullied out of any desire form privacy, is not democracy it is kindergarten., Judith Martin, (Miss Manners),
Women dress alike all
Women dress alike all over the world: they dress to be annoying to other women., Elsa Schiaparelli,
Alimony is a system by
Alimony is a system by which, when two people make a mistake, one of them keeps paying for it., Peggy Joyce,
I can think of nothing
I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens., Dwight David Eisenhower,
I never did give anybo
I never did give anybody hell. I just told the truth and they thought it was hell., Harry S Truman, 33rd president of US (1884 1972)
I used to be a lawyer,
I used to be a lawyer, but now I am a reformed character., Woodrow Wilson, 28th president of US (1856 1924)
Flattery is like colog
Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt of, not swallowed., Josh Billings, US Humorist (1818 1885)
Judge: a law student w
Judge: a law student who marks his own papers., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
I honestly believe tha
I honestly believe that in my lifetime we will see a country once again governed by Christians...and Christian values. What Christians have got to do is take back this country, one precinct at a time, one neighborhood at a time, and one state at a time., Ralph Reed, Executive Director, the Christian Coalition,
A communist is a perso
A communist is a person who publicly airs his dirty Lenin., Jack Pomeroy,
An ambassador is an ho
An ambassador is an honest man sent abroad to lie for his country., Sir Henry Wotton,
Democracy means govern
Democracy means government by discussion, but it is only effective if you can stop people talking., Clement Richard Atlee, British prime minister (19451951),
Music is essentially u
Music is essentially useless, as life is., George Santayana, US (Spanishborn) philosopher (1863 1952)
Every man is the archi
Every man is the architect of his own fortune., Sallust, Roman historian politician (86 BC 34 BC)
Only sick music makes
Only sick music makes money today., Friedrich Nietzsche, German philosopher (1844 1900)
There are more bad mus
There are more bad musicians than there is bad music., Isaac Stern,
Except during the nine
Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
One of the simple but
One of the simple but genuine pleasures in life is getting up in the morning and hurrying to a mousetrap you set the night before., Kin Hubbard, (1868 1930)
The impotence of God i
The impotence of God is infinite., Anatole France, French novelist (1844 1924)
I am not young enough
I am not young enough to know everything., J.M. Barrie,
Man is a natural polyg
Man is a natural polygamist: he always has one woman leading him by the nose, and another hanging on to his coattails., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Everyone thinks of cha
Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself., Leo Tolstoy, Russian mystic novelist (1828 1910)
Life only demands from
Life only demands from you the strength you possess. Only one feat is possible not to have run away., Dag Hammarskjold, Swedish diplomat (1905 1961)
Science is nothing but
Science is nothing but trained and organized common sense., Thomas H. Huxley, English biologist (1825 1895)
I shall be breakfasted
I shall be breakfasted before you are afield. In short, I shall astonish you all., Thomas Hardy, Far From the Madding Crowd,
The continued propinqu
The continued propinquity of another human being cramps the style after a time unless that person is somebody you think you love. Then the burden becomes intolerable at once., Quentin Crisp,
Forgive me my nonsense
Forgive me my nonsense as I also forgive the nonsense of those who think they talk sense., Robert Frost, US poet (1874 1963)
Dubito ergo sum I dou
Dubito ergo sum I doubt therefore I am, Kayvan Sylvan,
Events in the past may
Events in the past may be roughly divided into those which probably never happened and those which do not matter., W. R. Inge,
Oh, what lies there ar
Oh, what lies there are in kisses!, Heinrich Heine, German critic poet (1797 1856)
Discretion in speech i
Discretion in speech is more than eloquence., Sir Francis Bacon, English author, courtier, philosopher (1561 1626)
To a woman the first k
To a woman the first kiss is just the end of the beginning but to a man it is the beginning of the end., Helen Rowland, (1876 1950)
The wages of sin are u
The wages of sin are unreported., Unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
The income tax has mad
The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf., Will Rogers, US humorist showman (1879 1935)
Nowadays a citizen can
Nowadays a citizen can hardly distinguish between a tax and a fine, except that the fine is generally much lighter., G.K. Chesterton,
I know what love is: T
I know what love is: Tracy and Hepburn, Bogart and Bacall, Romeo and Juliet, Jackie and John and Marilyn...., Ian Shoales,
In our country we have
In our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
Etymology, n.: Some ea
Etymology, n.: Some early etymological scholars come up with derivations that were hard for the public to believe. The term etymology was formed from the Latin etus ("eaten"), the root mal ("bad"), and logy ("study of"). It meant the study of things that are hard to swallow., Mike Kellen,
Delores breezed along
Delores breezed along the surface of her life like a flat stone forever skipping along smooth water, rippling reality sporadically but oblivious to it consistently, until she finally lost momentum, sank, and due to an over dose of flouride as a child which caused her to suffer from chronic apathy, doomed herself to lie forever on the floor of her life as useless as an appendix and as lonely as a fivehundred pound barbell in a steroidfree fitness center., Winning sentence, 1990 BulwerLytton bad fiction contest.,
It is the confession,
It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
He marries best who pu
He marries best who puts it off until it is too late., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Promote yourself, but
Promote yourself, but do not demote another., Israel Salanter,
The first thing I do i
The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue., Oscar Levant, (1906 1972)
There is no such thing
There is no such thing as an underestimate of average intelligence., Henry Adams, US author, autobiographer, historian (1838 1918)
The Green Party is lik
The Green Party is like a watermelon green on the outside and red on the inside., Rep. Bill Dannemeyer, RFullerton,
The intelligent man fi
The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything., Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, German dramatist, novelist, poet, scientist (1749 1832)
The human mind treats
The human mind treats a new idea the way the body treats a strange protein it rejects it., Biologist P. B. Medawar,
A large section of the
A large section of the intelligentsia seems wholly devoid of intelligence., G.K. Chesterton,
A wise man should have
A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart., Jonathan Swift, Irish essayist, novelist, satirist (1667 1745)
A dollar saved is a qu
A dollar saved is a quarter earned., John Ciardi, US poet (1916 1986)
I make a fortune from
I make a fortune from criticizing the policy of the government, and then hand it over to the government in taxes to keep it going., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
It is better to be bea
It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
All my life, affection
All my life, affection has been showered upon me, and every forward step I have made has been taken in spite of it., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
Sometimes a fool makes
Sometimes a fool makes a good suggestion., Nicolas Boileau, French critic satiric poet (1636 1711)
This is the day upon w
This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixtyfour., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
I am not sincere, not
I am not sincere, not even when I say I am not., Jules Renard, (1864 1910)
Make money your god an
Make money your god and it will plague you like the devil., Henry Fielding, English dramatist novelist (1707 1754)
Money is always there,
Money is always there, but the pockets change., Gertrude Stein, US author in France (1874 1946)
Honesty is the best po
Honesty is the best policy when there is money in it., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
Contrary to popular be
Contrary to popular belief, English women do not wear tweed nightgowns., Hermione Gingold,
Advertising is 85,00%
Advertising is 85,00% confusion and 15,00% commission., Fred Allen, US radio comedian (1894 1956)
Business is a good gam
Business is a good game lots of competition and a minimum of rules. You keep score with money., Atari founder Nolan Bushnell,
It is no disgrace to b
It is no disgrace to be poor, but it might as well be., Jim Grue,
If you wouldst live lo
If you wouldst live long, live well, for folly and wickedness shorten life., Benjamin Franklin, US author, diplomat, inventor, physicist, politician, printer (1706 1790)
All programmers are pl
All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors., Unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
There are few sorrows
There are few sorrows in which a good income is of no avail., Logan Pearsall Smith, (1865 1946)
Everyone would like to
Everyone would like to behave like a pagan, with everyone else behaving like a Christian., Albert Camus, French existentialist author philosopher (1913 1960)
The average man does n
The average man does not know what to do with his life, yet wants another one which will last forever., Anatole France, French novelist (1844 1924)
It takes a wonderful b
It takes a wonderful brain and exquisite senses to produce a few stupid ideas., George Santayana, US (Spanishborn) philosopher (1863 1952)
We tolerate shapes in
We tolerate shapes in human beings that would horrify us if we saw them in a horse., W. R. Inge,
The great tragedy of s
The great tragedy of science the slaying of a beautiful hypothesis by an ugly fact., T.H. Buxley,
The Irish are a fair p
The Irish are a fair people they never speak well of one another, Samuel Johnson, English author, critic, lexicographer (1709 1784)
God invented whiskey t
God invented whiskey to keep the Irish from ruling the world., Ed McMahon,
Honesty is a good thin
Honesty is a good thing, but it is not profitable to its possessor unless it is kept under control., Don Marquis, US humorist (1878 1937)
In this world of sin a
In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
A child of my own! Oh,
A child of my own! Oh, no, no, no! Let my flesh perish with me, and let me not transmit to anyone the boredom and ignominiousness of life., Gustave Flaubert, French realist novelist (1821 1880)
Tell us your phobias,
Tell us your phobias, and we will tell you what you are afraid of., Robert Benchley, US actor, author, humorist (1889 1945)
It is better to die on
It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees., Dolores Ibarruri, September 3 1936, Spanish Communist agitator politician (1895 1989)
I do not want people t
I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them., Jane Austen, English novelist (1775 1817)
I like a friend better
I like a friend better for having faults that one can talk about., William Hazlitt, English essayist (1778 1830)
I was not successful a
I was not successful as a ballplayer, as it was a game of skill., Casey Stengel, US baseball manager (1890 1975)
Any pitcher who throws
Any pitcher who throws at a batter and deliberately tries to hit him is a communist., Alvin Dark, former baseball coach,
To some lawyers all fa
To some lawyers all facts are created equal., Felix Frankfurter, US (Austrianborn) jurist (1882 1965)
The love of money is t
The love of money is the root of all virtue., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
I derive no pleasure f
I derive no pleasure from talking with a young woman simply because she has regular features., Henry David Thoreau, US Transcendentalist author (1817 1862)
Never trouble another
Never trouble another for what you can do for yourself., Thomas Jefferson, 3rd president of US (1743 1826)
Better to have loved a
Better to have loved and lost a short person than never to have loved a tall., David Chambless,
Love is the delusion t
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another, H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
To fall in love you ha
To fall in love you have to be in the state of mind for it to take, like a disease., Nancy Mitford,
Man is the only animal
Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature., Samuel Butler, English composer, novelist, satiric author (1835 1902)
Life is like playing t
Life is like playing the violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on., Samuel Butler, English composer, novelist, satiric author (1835 1902)
Men should not try to
Men should not try to overstrain their goodness more than any other faculty., Samuel Butler, English composer, novelist, satiric author (1835 1902)
Outer space is no plac
Outer space is no place for a person of breeding., Lady Violet Bonham Carter, (1887 1969)
Giving a man space is
Giving a man space is like giving a dog a computer: the chances are he will not use it wisely., BetteJane Raphael,
Ignorance is the mothe
Ignorance is the mother of admiration., George Chapman,
What a blessing it wou
What a blessing it would be if we could open and shut our ears as easily as we open and shut our eyes., Georg Christoph Lichtenberg, (1742 1799)
The woman who cannot t
The woman who cannot tell a lie in defense of her husband is unworthy of the name of wife., Elbert Hubbard, US author (1856 1915)
A loving wife will do
A loving wife will do anything for her husband except stop criticizing him and trying to improve him., J.B. Priestley,
Men are the only anima
Men are the only animals that devote themselves, day in and day out, to making one another unhappy. It is an art like any other. Its virtuosi are called altruists., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
No one travelling on a
No one travelling on a business trip would be missed if he failed to arrive., Thorstein Veblen, US economist social philosopher (1857 1929)
Never forget that the
Never forget that the most powerful force on earth is love., Nelson Rockefeller,
Always hold your head
Always hold your head up, but be careful to keep your nose at a friendly level., Max L. Forman,
Do Not Disturb signs s
Do Not Disturb signs should be written in the language of the hotel maids., Tim Bedore,
Early morning cheerful
Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious., William Feather, (1908 1976)
I am a deeply superfic
I am a deeply superficial person., Andy Warhol, US artist (1928 1987)
Most people enjoy the
Most people enjoy the inferiority of their friends., Lord Chesterfield, (1694 1773)
Everybody gets so much
Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense., Gertrude Stein, US author in France (1874 1946)
Never believe anything
Never believe anything until it has been officially denied., Claud Cockburn, (1904 1981)
If the wind will not s
If the wind will not serve, take to the oars., Latin Proverb,
Virtue is its own puni
Virtue is its own punishment., Aneurin Bevan,
The first half of our
The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents and the last half by our children., Clarence Darrow, US defense lawyer (1857 1938)
One should always be w
One should always be wary of anyone who promises that their love will last longer than a weekend., Quentin Crisp,
Working in the theater
Working in the theater has a lot in common with unemployment., Arthur Gingold,
You can pick out actor
You can pick out actors by the glazed look that comes into their eyes when the conversation wanders away from themselves., Michael Wilding,
Democracy is the bludg
Democracy is the bludgeoning of the people, by the people, for the people., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
That orgy of wishful t
That orgy of wishful thinking that has passed for logic in the present century., F.W. Lawvere,
Science is nothing but
Science is nothing but trained and organized common sense., Thomas H. Huxley, English biologist (1825 1895)
We must not allow the
We must not allow the clock and the calendar to blind us to the fact that each moment of life is a miracle and mystery., H. G. Wells, English author, historian, utopian (1866 1946)
My personal hobbies ar
My personal hobbies are reading, listening to music, and silence., Dame Edith Sitwell,
People demand freedom
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid., Soren Aabye Kierkegaard,
It is possible to be b
It is possible to be below flattery as well as above it., Thomas Babington Macaulay, English author politician (1800 1859)
If the desire to kill
If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill always came together, who would escape hanging?, Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
An appeal is when you
An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court., Finley Peter Dunne,
Marriage: a long conve
Marriage: a long conversation chequered by disputes., Robert Louis Stevenson, Scottish author (1850 1894)
If I were twofaced, wo
If I were twofaced, would I be wearing this one?, Abraham Lincoln, 16th president of US (1809 1865)
Every decent man is as
Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Writing is easy. All y
Writing is easy. All you do is stare at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead., Gene Fowler,
If I have ever made an
If I have ever made any valuable discoveries, it has been owing more to patient attention, than to any other talent., Isaac Newton, English mathematician physicist (1642 1727)
As it is more blessed
As it is more blessed to give than receive, so it must be more blessed to receive than to give back., Robert Frost, US poet (1874 1963)
The classes that wash
The classes that wash most are those that work least., G.K. Chesterton,
Our Constitution prote
Our Constitution protects aliens, drunks, and U.S. senators., Will Rogers, US humorist showman (1879 1935)
If I ask a woman if sh
If I ask a woman if she has suffered sexual harassment, could this be considered sexual harassment?, Sally Forth, Jan. 28 1991,
Consistency requires y
Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago., Bernard Berenson, US (Lithuanianborn) art critic (1865 1959)
Not a shred of evidenc
Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious., Brendan Gill,
I have always loved tr
I have always loved truth so passionately that I have often resorted to lying as a way of introducing it into the minds which were ignorant of its charms., Giovanni Jacopo Casanova,
Death: To stop sinning
Death: To stop sinning suddenly., Elbert Hubbard, US author (1856 1915)
Deeds, not words shall
Deeds, not words shall speak me., John Fletcher, English dramatist (1579 1625)
Sunday: A day given ov
Sunday: A day given over by Americans to wishing they were dead and in heaven, and that their neighbors were dead and in hell., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
If a child shows himse
If a child shows himself to be incorrigible, he should be decently and quietly beheaded at the age of twelve, lest he grow to maturity marry, and perpetuate his kind., Don Marquis, US humorist (1878 1937)
Action: the last resou
Action: the last resource of those who know not how to dream., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
If you cannot get rid
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
The police.....always
The police.....always wanting to play games., Maude (Ruth Gordon), from the movie Harold Maude,
All power corrupts, bu
All power corrupts, but we need the electricity., Unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
Art is making somethin
Art is making something out of nothing and selling it., Frank Zappa, US musician, singer, songwriter (1940 1993)
God made man, and then
God made man, and then said I can do better than that and made woman., Adela Rogers St. Johns,
God created man and, f
God created man and, finding him not sufficiently alone, gave him a companion to make him feel his solitude more keenly., Paul Valery, French critic poet (1871 1945)
Love is the irresistib
Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired., Robert Frost, US poet (1874 1963)
The great masses of th
The great masses of the people... will more easily fall victims to a great lie than to a small one., Adolf Hitler, German Nazi dictator, orator, politician (1889 1945)
American husbands are
American husbands are the best in the world no other husbands are so generous to their wives, or can be so easily divorced., Elinor Glyn,
Enzymes are things inv
Enzymes are things invented by biologists that explain things which otherwise require harder thinking., Jerome Lettvin,
Actions lie louder tha
Actions lie louder than words., Carolyn Wells,
When there is no peril
When there is no peril in the fight there is no glory in the triumph., Pierre Corneille, French dramatist (1606 1684)
Chess is as elaborate
Chess is as elaborate a waste of human intelligence as you can find outside an advertising agency., Raymond Chandler, US detective novelist screenwriter (1888 1959)
Be careful in revising
Be careful in revising those immigration laws of yours. We got careless with ours., advice given to Herbert Humphrey by an American Indian from New Mexico,
Changing a college cur
Changing a college curriculum is like moving a graveyardyou never know how many friends the dead have until you try to move them!, Calvin Coolidge or Woodrow Wilson,
You must believe in Go
You must believe in God in spite of what the clergy say., Benjamin Jowett,
He grounds the warship
He grounds the warship he walks on., John Bracken on Captain Barney Kelly, who ran the USS Enterprise into the mud of San Francisco Bay in May 1983,
He who labors diligent
He who labors diligently need never despair for all things are accomplished by diligence and labor., Menander, Greek comic dramatist (342 BC 292 BC)
Behind almost every wo
Behind almost every woman you ever heard of stands a man who let her down., Naomi Bliven,
Social confusion has n
Social confusion has now reached a point at which the pursuit of immorality turns out to be more exhausting than compliance with the old moral codes., Denis de Rougemont,
I have just returned f
I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there., Fred Allen, US radio comedian (1894 1956)
Most men do not mature
Most men do not mature, they simply grow taller., Leo Rosten, US (Polishborn) author (1908 )
The foolish man seeks
The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet., James Oppenheim,
All bad poetry springs
All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
The more violent the b
The more violent the body contact of the sports you watch, the lower your class., Paul Fussell,
Pessimist: One who, wh
Pessimist: One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
An idealist is one who
An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Music is the refuge of
Music is the refuge of souls ulcerated by happiness., E.M. Cioran,
The further the spirit
The further the spiritual evolution of mankind advances, the more certain it seems to me that the path to genuine religiosity does not lie through the fear of life, and the fear of death, and blind faith, but through striving after rational knowledge., Albert Einstein, US (Germanborn) physicist (1879 1955)
Avarice is the sphinct
Avarice is the sphincter of the heart., Matthew Green (c. 1737),
... and thereof do I r
... and thereof do I repent: I only plucked an occasional flower when I might have gathered an ample harvest of fruit such are the just grounds for the regrets I have ..., D. A. F. Sade, Dialogue between a Priest and a Dying Man,
Force is allconquering
Force is allconquering, but its victories are shortlived., Abraham Lincoln, 16th president of US (1809 1865)
Practice random kindne
Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty., Unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
Contemporary American
Contemporary American children, if they are old enough to grasp the concept of Santa Claus by Thanksgiving, are able to see through it by December 15th., Roy Blount Jr.,
I went to a convent in
I went to a convent in New York and was fired finally for my insistence that the Immaculate Conception was spontaneous combustion., Dorothy Parker, US author, humorist, poet, wit (1893 1967)
The perfect love affai
The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
The penalty for laughi
The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
The human animal diffe
The human animal differs from the lesser primates in his passion for lists of Ten Best., H. Allen Smith,
It is inexcusable for
It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians., Henrik Ibsen, Norwegian dramatist (1828 1906)
To avoid criticism do
To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing., Elbert Hubbard, US author (1856 1915)
Vegetarianism is harml
Vegetarianism is harmless enough, although it is apt to fill a man with wind and selfrighteousness., Sir Robert Hutchison,
A cynic is not merely
A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past, he is one who is prematurely disappointed in the future., Sidney J. Harris,
Psychoanalysis is conf
Psychoanalysis is confession without absolution., G.K. Chesterton,
Any clod can have the
Any clod can have the facts, but having opinions is an Art., Charles McCabe, San Francisco Chronicle, (1856 )
It is twice as hard to
It is twice as hard to crush a halftruth as a whole lie., Unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
Lie: A very poor subst
Lie: A very poor substitute for the truth, but the only one discovered to date., Unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
I have discovered the
I have discovered the art of deceiving diplomats. I speak the truth, and they never believe me., Conte Camillo Benso di Cavour,
Men occasionally stumb
Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened., Sir Winston Churchill, British politician (1874 1965)
It is hard to believe
It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
A pound of pluck is wo
A pound of pluck is worth a ton of luck., James A. Garfield, US general politician (1831 1881)
The chief contribution
The chief contribution of Protestantism to human thought is its massive proof that God is a bore., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
It is well, when judgi
It is well, when judging a friend, to remember that he is judging you with the same godlike and superior imapartiality., Arnold Bennett,
Whatever women do they
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily this is not difficult., Charlotte Whitton,
There are two ways of
There are two ways of disliking poetry one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
If all else fails, imm
If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error., John Kenneth Galbraith, US (Canadianborn) administrator economist (1908 )
Whenever you find that
Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
Awards are merely the
Awards are merely the badges of mediocrity., Charles Ives,
When you leave New Yor
When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough., Fran Lebowitz, US writer and humorist (1950 )
If God were suddenly c
If God were suddenly condemned to live the life which He has inflicted upon men, He would kill Himself., Alexandre Dumas, fils, French dramatist novelist (1802 1870)
A hero is no braver th
A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer., Ralph Waldo Emerson, US essayist poet (1803 1882)
Human war has been the
Human war has been the most successful of our cultural traditions., Robert Ardrey,
How is the world ruled
How is the world ruled and how do wars start? Diplomats tell lies to journalists and then believe what they read., Karl Kraus, Austrian author and journalist (1874 1936)
Teach children to be p
Teach children to be polite and courteous in the home, and, when he grows up, he will never be able to edge his car onto a freeway., Unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
Education is the proce
Education is the process of casting false pearls before real swine., Irwin Edman,
Soap and education are
Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre but they are more deadly in the long run., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
University politics ar
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small., Henry Kissinger, US (Germanborn) diplomat scholar (1923 )
Americans are the only
Americans are the only people in the world known to me whose status anxiety prompts them to advertise their college and university affiliations in the rear window of their automobiles., Paul Fussell,
If you stay in Beverly
If you stay in Beverly Hills too long you become a Mercedes., Robert Redford, US movie actor director (1937 )
Men are born with two
Men are born with two eyes, but only one tongue, in order that they should see twice as much as they say., Charles Caleb Colton, (1780 1832)
It matters not whether
It matters not whether you win or lose what matters is whether I win or lose., Darin Weinberg,
Getting kicked out of
Getting kicked out of the American Bar Association is like getting kicked out of the BookoftheMonthClub., Melvin Belli on the occasion of his getting kicked out of the American Bar Association,
The Pig, if I am not m
The Pig, if I am not mistaken, Supplies us sausage, ham, and Bacon. Let others say his heart is big, I think it stupid of the Pig., Ogden Nash, The Pig, US humorist poet (1902 1971)
CandyIs dandyBut liquo
CandyIs dandyBut liquorIs quicker., Ogden Nash, Reflections on IceBreaking, US humorist poet (1902 1971)
In Hollywood a starlet
In Hollywood a starlet is the name for any woman under thirty who is not actively employed in a brothel., Ben Hecht, US author dramatist (1893 1964)
Victory belongs to the
Victory belongs to the most persevering., Napoleon Bonaparte, French general politician (1769 1821)
The young always have
The young always have the same problem how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another., Quentin Crisp,
The Puritans gave than
The Puritans gave thanks for being preserved from the Indians, and we give thanks for being preserved from the Puritans., Finley Peter Dunne,
One reason the human r
One reason the human race has such a low opinion of itself is that it gets so much of its wisdom from writers., Wilfrid Sheed,
The cosmos is a gigant
The cosmos is a gigantic flywheel making 10 revolutions per minute. Man is a sick fly taking a dizzy ride on it., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
I am not an Economist.
I am not an Economist. I am an honest man!, Paul McCracken,
Now is the time for al
Now is the time for all good men to come to., Walt Kelly, US animator cartoonist (1913 1973)
Man is a rational anim
Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
A university is what a
A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students., John Ciardi, US poet (1916 1986)
Our lives improve only
Our lives improve only when we take chances and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves., Walter Anderson,
All of us learn to wri
All of us learn to write in the second grade. Most of us go on to greater things., Bobby Knight, US basketball coach (1940 )
This world is a comedy
This world is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel., Horace Walpole, English author (1717 1797)
As far as the laws of
As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality., Albert Einstein, US (Germanborn) physicist (1879 1955)
There is something fas
There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
Horse sense is the thi
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people., W.C. Fields,
But in our enthusiasm,
But in our enthusiasm, we could not resist a radical overhaul of the system, in which all of its major weaknesses have been exposed, analyzed, and replaced with new weaknesses., Bruce Leverett Register Allocation in Optimizing Compilers,
Imagination is the one
Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality., Jules de Gaultier,
Chess is a foolish exp
Chess is a foolish expedient for making idle people believe they are doing something very clever when they are only wasting their time., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
The Bible tells us to
The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies probably because they are generally the same people., G.K. Chesterton,
Love is a gross exagge
Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
In the province of the
In the province of the mind, what one believes to be true either is true or becomes true., John Lilly,
The charms of a passin
The charms of a passing woman are usually in direct relation to the speed of her passing., Marcel Proust, French novelist (1871 1922)
It was such a lovely d
It was such a lovely day I thought it a pity to get up., W. Somerset Maugham, English dramatist novelist (1874 1965)
Whenever the literary
Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you are going to see of him until he emerges on the other side of his atlantic with his verb in his mouth., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
The warning message we
The warning message we sent the Russians was a calculated ambiguity that would be clearly understood., Alexander Haig,
I know not with what w
I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones., Albert Einstein, US (Germanborn) physicist (1879 1955)
If you go on with this
If you go on with this nuclear arms race, all you are going to do is make the rubble bounce., Sir Winston Churchill, British politician (1874 1965)
Alimony: the ransom th
Alimony: the ransom the happy pay to the devil., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Duct tape is like the
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and a dark side, and it holds the universe together..., Carl Zwanzig,
A man in love is incom
A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished., Zsa Zsa Gabor, US (Hungarianborn) actress (1919 )
Love: The delusion tha
Love: The delusion that one woman differs from another., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
The weak can never for
The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong., Mahatma Gandhi, Indian ascetic nationalist leader (1869 1948)
The fixity of a habit
The fixity of a habit is generally in direct proportion to its absurdity., Marcel Proust, French novelist (1871 1922)
In heaven all the inte
In heaven all the interesting people are missing., Friedrich Nietzsche, German philosopher (1844 1900)
It is a kind of spirit
It is a kind of spiritual snobbery that makes people think they can be happy without money., Albert Camus, French existentialist author philosopher (1913 1960)
The world is a prison
The world is a prison in which solitary confinement is preferable., Karl Kraus, Austrian author and journalist (1874 1936)
I have the true feelin
I have the true feeling of myself only when I am unbearably unhappy., Franz Kafka, Austrian (Czechoslovakianborn) author (1883 1924)
A man likes his wife t
A man likes his wife to be just clever enough to comprehend his cleverness, and just stupid enough to admire it., Israel Zangwill,
Remarriage is an excel
Remarriage is an excellent test of just how amicable your divorce was., Margo Kaufman,
Reason should direct a
Reason should direct and appetite obey., Cicero, Roman author, orator, politician (106 BC 43 BC)
They devoted the city
They devoted the city to the lord and destroyed with the sword every living thing in it men and women, young and old, cattle, sheep and donkeys., The Book of Joshua 6:21,
I hope that one or two
I hope that one or two immortal lyrics will come out of all this tumbling around., Poet Louise Bogan,
There is no money in p
There is no money in poetry, but then there is no poetry in money either., Robert Graves, British author classical scholar (1895 1985)
When the doors of perc
When the doors of perception are cleansed, man will see things as they truly are, infinite., William Blake, English engraver, illustrator, poet (1757 1827)
Religions change beer
Religions change beer and wine remain., Hervey Allen,
Christ died for our si
Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them?, Jules Feiffer, US cartoonist satirist (1929 )
What if there had been
What if there had been room at the inn?, Linda Festa on the origins of Christianity,
I detest converts almo
I detest converts almost as much as I do missionaries., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
The best way to convin
The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way., Josh Billings, US Humorist (1818 1885)
Too bad the only peopl
Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair., George Burns, US actor comedian (1896 1996)
Get all the fools on y
Get all the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything., Frank Dane,
Democracy is a process
Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame., Laurence J. Peter, US educator writer (1919 1988)
I have perfumed my bed
I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon. Come, let us take our fill of love until the morning., Proverbs 7:1718,
Monogamy is the Wester
Monogamy is the Western custom of one wife and hardly any mistresses., H.H. Munro (Saki),
Morality is simply the
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt toward people we personally dislike., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
Amusement is the happi
Amusement is the happiness of those who cannot think., Alexander Pope, English poet satirist (1688 1744)
The average dog is a n
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person., Andrew A. Rooney,
I hate quotations., Ra
I hate quotations., Ralph Waldo Emerson, US essayist poet (1803 1882)
I do not say a proverb
I do not say a proverb is amiss when aptly and reasonably applied, but to be forever discharging them, right or wrong, hit or miss, renders conversation insipid and vulgar., Miguel Cervantes,
Nobody ever committed
Nobody ever committed suicide while reading a good book, but many have while trying to write one., Robert Byrne,
Anybody who has listen
Anybody who has listened to certain kinds of music, or read certain kinds of poetry, or heard certain kinds of performances on the concertina, will admit that even suicide has its brighter aspects., Stephen Leacock, 1912, Canadian economist humorist (1869 1944)
Reviewing has one adva
Reviewing has one advantage over suicide: in suicide you take it out on yourself in reviewing you take it out on other people., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
Good taste is the enem
Good taste is the enemy of creativity, Pablo Picasso, Spanish Cubist painter (1881 1973)
Our imagination is the
Our imagination is the only limit to what we can hope to have in the future., Charles F. Kettering, US electrical engineer inventor (1876 1958)
I know a motherinlaw w
I know a motherinlaw who sleeps with her glasses on, the better to see her soninlaw suffer in her dreams., Ernest Coquelin,
Traditionalists often
Traditionalists often study what is taught, not what there is to create., Ed Parker, Grandmaster, American Kenpo.,
The odds against there
The odds against there being a bomb on a plane are a million to one, and against two bombs a million times a million to one. Next time you fly, cut the odds and take a bomb., Benny Hill,
It is now possible for
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant., Richard J. Ferris, president, United Airlines,
Thank God men cannot a
Thank God men cannot as yet fly and lay waste the sky as well as the earth., Henry David Thoreau, Jan. 3 1861, US Transcendentalist author (1817 1862)
We cherish our friends
We cherish our friends not for their ability to amuse us, but for ours to amuse them., Evelyn Waugh, English novelist satirist (1903 1966)
Man is what he believe
Man is what he believes., Anton Chekhov, Russian dramatist short story author (1860 1904)
If I ever marry, it wi
If I ever marry, it will be on a sudden impulse as a man shoots himself., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Doctors are men who pr
Doctors are men who prescribe medicines of which they know little, to cure diseases of which they know less in human beings of whom they know nothing., Voltaire, French author, humanist, rationalist, satirist (1694 1778)
Name me an emperor who
Name me an emperor who was ever struck by a cannonball., Charles V,
You can no more win a
You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake., Jeannette Rankin, US pacifist politician (1880 1973)
The object of war is n
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his., General George Patton,
Name me and emperor wh
Name me and emperor who was ever struck by a cannonball., Charles V,
Friendship is a very t
Friendship is a very taxing and arduous form of leisure activity., Mortimer Adler,
A sportsman is a man w
A sportsman is a man who, every now and then, simply has to go out and kill something., Stephen Leacock, Canadian economist humorist (1869 1944)
Marriage is a triumph
Marriage is a triumph of habit over hate., Oscar Levant, (1906 1972)
What we say is importa
What we say is important for in most cases the mouth speaks what the heart is full of., Jim Beggs,
Why should I tolerate
Why should I tolerate a perfect stranger at the bedside of my mind?, Vladimir Nabokov, US (Russianborn) author translator (1899 1977)
Half of analysis is an
Half of analysis is anal., Marty Indik,
Show me a sane man and
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you., C.G. Jung,
(Clemenceau) once said
(Clemenceau) once said that war is too important to be left to the generals. When he said that, 50 years ago, he may have been right...but now, war is too important to be left to the politicians. They have neither the time, the training, nor the inclination for strategic thought...And I can no longer, sit around and allow Communist subversion, Communist corruption, and Communist infiltration of our precious bodily fluids., Col. Jack Ripper, commander of Burpleson AFB to Group Capt. Mandrake (Peter Sellers) in Dr. Strangelove,
He without benefit of
He without benefit of scruples His fun and money soon quadruples., Ogden Nash, US humorist poet (1902 1971)
Depend not on another,
Depend not on another, but lean instead on thyself...True happiness is born of selfreliance., The laws of Manu,
In order to preserve y
In order to preserve your selfrespect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat., Robert Byrne,
Living with a conscien
Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on., Budd Schulberg,
A thing worth having i
A thing worth having i
Illegal aliens have al
Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian., Robert Orben,
What a pity, when Chri
What a pity, when Christopher Columbus discovered America, that he ever mentioned it., Margot Asquith,
America has been disco
America has been discovered before, but it has always been hushed up., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
The discovery of Ameri
The discovery of America was the occasion of the greatest outburst of cruelty and reckless greed known in history., Joseph Conrad, English (PolishUkrainianborn) novelist (1857 1924)
Home life as we unders
Home life as we understand it is no more natural to us than a cage is natural to a cockatoo., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
A bachelor never quite
A bachelor never quite gets ove the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever., Helen Rowland, (1876 1950)
Both the cockroach and
Both the cockroach and the bird could get along very well without us, although the cockroach would miss us most., Joseph Wood Krutch, US author critic (1893 1970)
What we hope ever to d
What we hope ever to do with ease we may learn first to do with diligence., Samuel Johnson, Lives of the Poets, English author, critic, lexicographer (1709 1784)
All generalizations ar
All generalizations are dangerous, even this one., Alexandre Dumas, French dramatist novelist (1802 1870)
A man must marry only
A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands., Sacha Guitry, (1885 1957)
Nothing is more intole
Nothing is more intolerable than a wealthy woman., Juvenal, Roman poet satirist (55 AD 127 AD)
Art is I science is we
Art is I science is we., Claude Bernard, French physiologist (1813 1878)
"The Good Book" one o
"The Good Book" one of the most remarkable euphemisms ever coined., Ashley Montague,
When you hire people t
When you hire people that are smarter than you are, you prove you are smarter than they are., R. H. Grant,
To be in love is merel
To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
You have to work years
You have to work years in hit shows to make people sick and tired of you, but you can accomplish this in a few weeks on television., Walter Slezak,
The world is divided i
The world is divided into people who do things and people who get the credit, Dwight Morrow,
When women kiss, it al
When women kiss, it always reminds me of prizefighters shaking hands., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
The English country ge
The English country gentleman galloping after a fox the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
Old age is always fift
Old age is always fifteen years older than I am., Bernard M. Baruch, US businessman politician (1870 1965)
Faith may be defined b
Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
I only drink to make o
I only drink to make other people seem interesting., George Jean Nathan, US drama critic editor (1882 1958)
Only I can change my l
Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me., Carol Burnett, US actress comedienne (1936 )
Victory goes to the pl
Victory goes to the player who makes the nexttolast mistake., Savielly Grigorievitcyh Tartakower,
The mistakes are all t
The mistakes are all there waiting to be made., Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitcyh Tartakower,
Historian: an unsucce
Historian: an unsuccessful novelist., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
California, the depart
California, the department store state., Raymond Chandler, US detective novelist screenwriter (1888 1959)
In the transmission of
In the transmission of human culture, people always attempt to replicate, to pass on to the next generation the skills and values of the parents, but the attempt always fails because cultural transmission is geared to learning, not D.N.A., Gregory Bateson, Mind and Matter,
I really wonder what g
I really wonder what gives us the right to wreck this poor planet of ours., Kurt Vonnegut Jr.,
Be wary of the man who
Be wary of the man who urges an action in which he himself incurs no risk., Joaquin Setanti,
In all honesty, Johnny
In all honesty, Johnny, we are often at the mercy of the White House for the news we report. Frequently, we simply repeat verbatim what the White House tells us., Connie Chung to Johnny Carson,
We trained hard, but i
We trained hard, but it seemed every time we were beginning to form up into teams, we would be reorganised. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganising, and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency and demoralisation., From Petronii Arbitri Satyricon AD 66 (Attributed to Gaius Petronus, a Roman General who later committed suicide),
It was one of those pe
It was one of those perfect English autumnal days which occur more frequently in memory than in life., P.D. James,
Love is like an hourgl
Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties., Jules Renard, (1864 1910)
Never feel selfpity, t
Never feel selfpity, the most destructive emotion there is. How awful to be caught up in the terrible squirrel cage of self., Millicent Fenwick,
Many books today sugge
Many books today suggest that the mass of women lead lives of noisy desperation., Peter S. Prescott,
To be clever enough to
To be clever enough to get a great deal of money, one must be stupid enough to want it., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
God made everything ou
God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through., Paul Valery, French critic poet (1871 1945)
A pious man is one who
A pious man is one who would be an athiest if the king were., Jean de La Bruyere, French moralist (1645 1696)
Man is certainly stark
Man is certainly stark mad. He cannot make a worm, and yet he will be making gods by dozens., Michel de Montaigne, French essayist (1533 1592)
If I had been the Virg
If I had been the Virgin Mary, I would have said No., Margaret Stevie Smith,
We were married by a r
We were married by a reformed rabbi in Long Island. A very reformed rabbi. A Nazi., Woody Allen, US movie actor, comedian, director (1935 )
How should they answer
How should they answer?, Abigail Van Buren in reply to the question: Why do Jews always answer a question with a question?,
The world is proof tha
The world is proof that God is a committee., Bob Stokes,
Death is more universa
Death is more universal than life everyone dies but not everyone lives., A. Sachs,
The only thing that st
The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one was useless., Nicholas Chamfort, (1741 1794)
For all the gold and s
For all the gold and silver stolen and shipped to Spain did not make the Spanish people richer. It gave their kings an edge in the balance of power for a time, a chance to hire more mercenary soldiers for their wars. They ended up losing those wars anyway, and all that was left was a deadly inflation, a starving population, the rich richer, the poor poorer, and a ruined peasant class., Hans Konig,
Education: the inculca
Education: the inculcation of the incomprehensible into the indifferent by the incompetent., John Maynard Keynes, English economist (1883 1946)
He who joyfully marche
He who joyfully marches to music rank and file, has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice. This disgrace to civilization should be done away with at once. Heroism at command, how violently I hate all this, how despicable and ignoble war is I would rather be torn to shreds than be a part of so base an action. It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder., Albert Einstein, US (Germanborn) physicist (1879 1955)
It is inaccurate to sa
It is inaccurate to say I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Be modest! It is the k
Be modest! It is the kind of pride least likely to offend., Jules Renard, (1864 1910)
The [Interstate Commer
The [Interstate Commerce] commission, as its functions have now been limited by the courts is, or can be made, of great use to the railroads. It satisfies the public clamor for a government supervision of railroads, at the same time that that supervision is almost entirely nominal., Richard Olney, a lawyer for the Boston Maine and Attorney General under Grover Cleveland, advising a railroad president,
So far as I can rememb
So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence., Bertrand Russell, British author, mathematician, philosopher (1872 1970)
American women expect
American women expect to find in their husbands a perfection that English women only hope to find in their butlers., W. Somerset Maugham, English dramatist novelist (1874 1965)
What people call insin
What people call insincerity is simply a method by which we can multiply our personalities., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
Metric is definitely c
Metric is definitely communist. One monetary system, one language, one weight and measurement system, one world all communist! We know the West was won by the inch, foot, yard, and mile., Dean Krakel, Director of the National Cowboy Hall of Fame,
For manipulation to be
For manipulation to be most effective, evidence of its presence should be nonexistent... It is essential, therefore, that people who are manipulated believe in the neutrality of their key social institutions., Herbert Schiller,
Sometimes I get bored
Sometimes I get bored riding down the beautiful streets of L.A. I know it sounds crazy, but I just want to go to New York and see people suffer., Donna Summer,
I think every woman is
I think every woman is entitled to a middle husband she can forget., Adela Rogers St.John,
I epitomize America.,
I epitomize America., John Denver,
Never wear your best t
Never wear your best trousers when you go out to fight for freedom and truth., Henrik Ibsen, Norwegian dramatist (1828 1906)
The modern age has bee
The modern age has been characterized by a Promethean spirit, a restless energy that preys on speed records and shortcuts, unmindful of the past, uncaring of the future, existing only for the moment and the quick fix. The earthly rhythms that characterize a more pastoral way of life have been shunted aside to make room for the fast track of an urbanized existence. Lost in a sea of perpetual technological transition, modern man and woman find themselves increasingly alienated from the ecological choreography of the planet., Jeremy Rifkin,
As if there were safet
As if there were safety in stupidity alone., Henry David Thoreau, US Transcendentalist author (1817 1862)
...a man may be a patr
...a man may be a patriot without risking his own life or sacrificing his health. There are plenty of lives less valuable., James Mellon, who paid $300 for a civil war Union army deferment,
I hate mankind, for I
I hate mankind, for I think of myself as one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am., Samuel Johnson, English author, critic, lexicographer (1709 1784)
No matter how cynical
No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up., Lily Tomlin, US actress comedienne (1939 )
The bravest thing you
The bravest thing you can do when you are not brave is to profess courage and act accordingly., Corra Harris,
The cynics are right n
The cynics are right nine times out of ten., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Cynicism is an unpleas
Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth., Lillian Hellman, US dramatist (1905 1984)
Idealism is what prece
Idealism is what precedes experience cynicism is what follows., David T. Wolf, (1943 )
Make no mistake about
Make no mistake about it: Operation Desert Storm truly was a victory of good over evil, of freedom over tyranny, of peace over war., Dan Quayle, remarks at Arlington National Cemetery, US Republican politician (1947 )
Love is the delightful
Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock., John Barrymore, US actor (1882 1942)
A dramatic critic is a
A dramatic critic is a man who leaves no turn unstoned., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
Lawers, I suppose, wer
Lawers, I suppose, were children once., Charles Lamb, English critic essayist (1775 1834)
Nobody wants justice.,
Nobody wants justice., Alan Dershowitz,
Do thou restrain the h
Do thou restrain the haughty spirit in thy breast, for better far is gentle courtesy., Homer, Greek epic poet (800 BC 700 BC)
Lawer: one who protect
Lawer: one who protects us against robbery by taking away the temptation., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Education is a method
Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices., Laurence J. Peter, US educator writer (1919 1988)
The days just prior to
The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book., Wilson Mizner, US screenwriter (1876 1933)
A man who has never ma
A man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life., Christopher Morley, US author journalist (1890 1957)
Favorite color: I hate
Favorite color: I hate colors., Ian Shoales,
All general statements
All general statements are false., Unknown, The Ultimate Law, Quotations by unknown authors )
When a book and a head
When a book and a head collide and there is a hollow sound, is it always from the book?, Georg Christoph Lichtenberg, (1742 1799)
My father and he had o
My father and he had one of those English friendships which begin by avoiding intimacies and eventually eliminate speech altogether., Jorge Luis Borges, Argentine novelist poet (1899 1986)
Nothing so fortifies a
Nothing so fortifies a friendship as a belief on the part of one friend that he is superior to the other., Honore de Balzac, French realist novelist (1799 1850)
Everything you see I o
Everything you see I owe to spaghetti., Sophia Loren, US (Italianborn) movie actress (1934 )
Marriage is not merely
Marriage is not merely sharing the fettucini, but sharing the burden of finding the fettucini restaurant in the first place., Calvin Trillin, US columnist (1935 )
Americans are a race o
Americans are a race of convicts and ought to be thankful for anything we allow them short of hanging., Samuel Johnson, English author, critic, lexicographer (1709 1784)
There are some defeats
There are some defeats more triumphant than victories., Michel de Montaigne, French essayist (1533 1592)
America is the greates
America is the greatest of opportunities and the worst of influences., George Santayana, US (Spanishborn) philosopher (1863 1952)
Speculations and loans
Speculations and loans in foreign fields are likely to bring us into war... The warforprofit group has counterfeited patriotism., Charles Lindberg Sr., 1915,
The 100,00% American i
The 100,00% American is 99,00% an idiot., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
I regard golf as an ex
I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles., G.K. Chesterton,
I did not attend his f
I did not attend his funeral, but I wrote a nice letter saying I approved it., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
A little sincerity is
A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
The love of liberty is
The love of liberty is the love of others the love of power is the love of ourselves., William Hazlitt, English essayist (1778 1830)
A woman without a man
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle., Gloria Steinem, US feminist (1934 )
The major sin is the s
The major sin is the sin of being born., Samuel Beckett, Irish author, dramatist, novelist in France (1906 1989)
A fishing rod is a sti
A fishing rod is a stick with a hook at one end and a fool at the other., Samuel Johnson, English author, critic, lexicographer (1709 1784)
For the first year of
For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath a pedestal, Woody Allen, US movie actor, comedian, director (1935 )
Of children as of proc
Of children as of procreation the pleasure momentary, the posture ridiculous, the expense damnable., Evelyn Waugh, English novelist satirist (1903 1966)
First love is a kind o
First love is a kind of vaccination which saves a man from catching the complaint a second time., Honore de Balzac, French realist novelist (1799 1850)
I have never hated a m
I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back., Zsa Zsa Gabor, US (Hungarianborn) actress (1919 )
The Puritan hated bear
The Puritan hated bearbaiting, not because it gave pain to the bear, but because it gave pleasure to the spectators., Thomas Babington Macaulay, English author politician (1800 1859)
Divorces are made in h
Divorces are made in heaven., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
The vicepresident of a
The vicepresident of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on a desk that has been exposed to conference., Fred Allen, US radio comedian (1894 1956)
Never go to bed mad. S
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight., Phyllis Diller,
Son, in war times it i
Son, in war times it is not safe to think unless one travels with the mob., Charles Lindberg Sr. to Charles Lindberg Jr. in 1917,
Was all this bloodshed
Was all this bloodshed and deceit from Columbus to Cortes, Pizarro the Puritans a necessity for the human race to progress from savagery to civilization? Was Morison right in burying the story of genocide inside a more important story of human progress? Perhaps a persuasive argument can be made as it was made by Stalin when he killed pesants for industrial progress in the Soviet Union, as it was made by Churchill explaining the bombings of Dresden and Hamburg, and Truman explaining Hiroshima. But how can the judgement be made if the benefits and losses cannot be balanced because the losses are either unmentioned or mentioned quickly?, Howard Zinn,
The secret of dealing
The secret of dealing successfully with a child is not to be its parent., Mel Lazarus,
No normal man ever fel
No normal man ever fell in love after thirty when the kidneys begin to disintegrate., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Truth, in matters of r
Truth, in matters of religion, is simply the opinion that has survived., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
The capacity of human
The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animals., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Life is either always
Life is either always a tightrope or a featherbed. Give me a tightrope., Edith Wharton, US novelist (1862 1937)
Americans adore me and
Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
Genius is of no countr
Genius is of no country., Charles Churchill,
If you take a dog whic
If you take a dog which is starving and feed him and make him prosperous, that dog will not bite you. This is the primary difference between a dog and a man., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
More than any time in
More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to utter hopelessness and despair, the other to total extinction. Let us hope we have the wisdom to choose correctly., Woody Allen, US movie actor, comedian, director (1935 )
We had parties that Ne
We had parties that Nero would have been ashamed to attend, Ronnie Hawkins,
Nothing is illegal if
Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it., Andrew Young,
No president in histor
No president in history has been more vilified or was more vilivied during the time he was President than Lincoln. Those who knew him, his secretaries, have written that he was deeply hurt by what was said about him and drawn about him, but on the other hand, Lincoln had the great strength of character never to display it, always able to stand tall and strong and firm no matter how harsh or unfair the criticism might be. These elements of greatness, of course, inspire us all today., Richard Nixon,
...it is as hard to do
...it is as hard to do your duty when men are sneering at you as when they are shooting at you., Woodrow Wilson, 28th president of US (1856 1924)
Be as radical as reali
Be as radical as reality., Lenin, Russian Communist politician revolutionary (1870 1924)
The optimist thinks th
The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it., J. Robert Oppenheimer, US administrator astrophysicist (1904 1967)
Being in a ship is lik
Being in a ship is like being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned., Samuel Johnson, English author, critic, lexicographer (1709 1784)
I figure you have the
I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not., Fran Lebowitz, US writer and humorist (1950 )
There are times when o
There are times when one would like to end the whole human race, and finish the farce., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
Without an adequate th
Without an adequate theory, reality is irrelevant., Kent Sparky Gregory,
Life is good, if you l
Life is good, if you like that sort of thing., overheard in Palo Alto...,
Two people kissing alw
Two people kissing always look like fish., Andy Warhol, US artist (1928 1987)
Some luck lies in not
Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known., Garrison Keillor, US humorist radio broadcaster (1942 )
Often it does seem a p
Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
It takes your enemy an
It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you: the one to slander you, and the other to bring the news to you., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
As scarce as truth is,
As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand., Josh Billings, US Humorist (1818 1885)
A committee is a culde
A committee is a culdesac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled., Sir Barnett Cocks (ca. 1907),
A censor is a man who
A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to., Granville Hicks, (1901 1982)
A duty dodged is like
A duty dodged is like a debt unpaid it is only deferred, and we must come back and settle the account at last., Joseph F. Newton,
In Biblical times, a m
In Biblical times, a man could have as many wives as he could afford. Just like today., Abigail Van Buren, US advice columnist (1918 )
When a man steals your
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her., Sacha Guitry, (1885 1957)
Religion consists in a
Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
The fellow that agrees
The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you., Kin Hubbard, (1868 1930)
Love: two minds withou
Love: two minds without a single thought., Philip Barry,
There are women whose
There are women whose infidelities are the only link they still have with their husbands., Sacha Guitry, (1885 1957)
How to win a case in c
How to win a case in court: If the law is on your side, pound on the law if the facts are on your side, pound on the facts if neither is on your side, pound on the table., Unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
Experience is a hard t
Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards., Vernon Sanders Law,
Henry James created mo
Henry James created more convincing women than Iris Murdoch put together., Wilfred Sheed,
Henry James would have
Henry James would have been vastly improved as a novelist by a few whiffs of the Chicago stockyard., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Henry James was one of
Henry James was one of the nicest old ladies I ever met., William Faulkner, US novelist (1897 1962)
Henry James chews more
Henry James chews more than he bites off., Mrs Henry Adams (c. 1880),
Henry James writes fic
Henry James writes fiction as if it were a painful duty., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
When in doubt, have tw
When in doubt, have two guys come through the door with guns., Raymond Chandler, US detective novelist screenwriter (1888 1959)
Finishing a book is ju
Finishing a book is just like you took a child out in the back yard and shot it., Truman Capote, US author (1924 1984)
Life would be tolerabl
Life would be tolerable but for its amusements., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
Indolence is a delight
Indolence is a delightful but distressing state we must be doing something to be happy., Mahatma Gandhi, Indian ascetic nationalist leader (1869 1948)
One should always be i
One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
Where it is a duty to
Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat., John Viscount Morley,
In the first place, Go
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards, Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
When we remember we ar
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
The holy passion of Fr
The holy passion of Friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
The only way to reform
The only way to reform some people is to chloroform them., Thomas C. Haliburton,
A little inaccuracy so
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation., H.H. Munro (Saki),
What lies behind us an
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us., Ralph Waldo Emerson, US essayist poet (1803 1882)
I suppose that I shall
I suppose that I shall have to die beyond my means., Oscar Wilde, upon being told the cost of an operation, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
Some editors are faile
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers., T.S. Eliot,
Immature poets imitate
Immature poets imitate mature poets steal., T.S. Eliot,
Television is a medium
Television is a medium of entertainment which permits millions of people to listen to the same joke at the same time, and yet remain lonesome., T.S. Eliot,
Adolescence is the sta
Adolescence is the stage between infancy and adultery., Unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
Adultery is the applic
Adultery is the application of democracy to love., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Since the whole affair
Since the whole affair had become one of religion, the vanquished were of course exterminated., Voltaire, French author, humanist, rationalist, satirist (1694 1778)
The only man who is re
The only man who is really free is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving any excuse., Jules Renard, (1864 1910)
The secret of dealing
The secret of dealing successfully with a child is not to be its parent., Mell Lazzarus,
California: The west c
California: The west coast of Iowa., Joan Didion, US author journalist (1934 )
Natural ability withou
Natural ability without education has more often attained to glory and virtue than education without natural ability., Cicero, Roman author, orator, politician (106 BC 43 BC)
Any new venture goes t
Any new venture goes through the following stages: enthusiasm, complication, disillusionment, search for the guilty, punishment of the innocent, and decoration of those who did nothing., Unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
The only way to succee
The only way to succeed is to make people hate you., Josef von Sternberg,
England produces the b
England produces the best fat actors., Jimmy Cannon,
I enjoy being a highly
I enjoy being a highly overpaid actor., Roger Moore, English actor (1927 )
Method acting? There a
Method acting? There are quite a few methods. Mine involves a lot of talent, a glass and some cracked ice., John Barrymore, US actor (1882 1942)
Hollywood is a sewer w
Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton., Wilson Mizner, US screenwriter (1876 1933)
Truth, in the matters
Truth, in the matters of religion, is simply the opinion that has survived., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
Fishing, with me, has
Fishing, with me, has always been an excuse to drink in the daytime., Jimmy Cannon,
There is no revenge so
There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness., Josh Billings, US Humorist (1818 1885)
A lifetime of happine
A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it: it would be hell on earth., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
I do not believe the e
I do not believe the expenditure of $2.50 for a book entitles the purchaser to the personal friendship of the author., Evelyn Waugh, English novelist satirist (1903 1966)
Canada is a country so
Canada is a country so square that even the female impersonators are women., Richard Benner,
Examine each question
Examine each question in terms of what is ethically and aesthetically right, as well as what is economically expedient. A thing is right when it tends to preserve the integrity, stability, and beauty of the biotic community. It is wrong when it tends otherwise., Aldo Leopold,
Women want mediocre me
Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible., Margaret Mead, US anthropologist popularizer of anthropology (1901 1978)
What once were vices a
What once were vices are manners now., Seneca, Roman dramatist, philosopher, politician (5 BC 65 AD)
By definition, a gover
By definition, a government has no conscience. Sometimes it has a policy, but nothing more., Albert Camus, French existentialist author philosopher (1913 1960)
A misery is not to be
A misery is not to be measured from the nature of the evil, but from the temper of the sufferer., Joseph Addison, English essayist, poet, politician (1672 1719)
The best hope is that
The best hope is that one of these days the ground will get disgusted enough just to walk away leaving people with nothing more to stand on than what they have so bloody well stood for up to now., Kenneth Patchen,
Our land is more valua
Our land is more valuable than your money. As long as the sun shines and the waters flow, this land will be here to give life to men and animals therefore, we cannot sell this land. It was put here for us by the Great Spirit and we cannot sell it because it does not belong to us., Blackfoot chief, (c. 1880),
I know not, sir whethe
I know not, sir whether Bacon wrote the works of Shakespeare, but if he did not it seems to me that he missed the opportunity of his life., J.M. Barrie,
Crude, immoral, vulgar
Crude, immoral, vulgar and senseless., Leo Tolstoy, Russian mystic novelist (1828 1910)
The remarkable thing a
The remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he really is very good, in spite of all the people who say he is very good., Robert Graves, British author classical scholar (1895 1985)
Not everybody has to s
Not everybody has to sing the melody., Pete Seeger,
In the modern world, i
In the modern world, in which thousands of people are dying every hour as a consequence of politics, no writing anywhere can begin to be credible unless it is informed by political awareness and principles. Writers who have neither product utopian trash., John Berger,
A man cannot be comfor
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
A country which propos
A country which proposes to make use of modern war as an instrument of policy must possess a highly centralized, allpowerful executive, hence the absurdity of talking about the defense of democracy by force of arms. A democracy which makes or effectively prepares for modern scientific war must necessarily cease to be democratic., Aldous Huxley, English critic novelist (1894 1963)
What grape to keep its
What grape to keep its place in the sun, taught our ancestors to make wine?, Cyril Connolly, (1903 1974)
Class is material cons
Class is material consumed., John Trudell,
One watches them on th
One watches them on the seashore, all the people, and there is something pathetic, almost wistful in them, as if they wished their lives did not add up to this scaly nullity of possession, but as if they could not escape. It is a dragon that has devoured us all: these obscene, scaly houses, this insatiable struggle and desire to possess, to possess always and in spite of everything, this need to be an owner, lest one be owned. It is too hideous and nauseating. Owners and owned, they are like the two sides of a ghastly disease. One feels a sort of madness come over one, as if the world had become hell. But it is only superimposed: it is only a temporary disease. It can be cleaned away., D. H. Lawrence, English novelist (1885 1930)
The greatest mystery i
The greatest mystery is not that we have been flung at random between the profusion of matter and of the stars, but that within this prison we can draw from ourselves images powerful enough to deny our nothingness., Andre Malraux, French author resistance leader (1901 1976)
When vultures watching
When vultures watching your civilization begin dropping dead, it is time to pause and wonder., David Brower,
Newspapers should have
Newspapers should have no friends., Joseph Pulitzer,
As long as I am an Ame
As long as I am an American citizen and American blood runs in these veins, I shall hold myself at liberty to speak, to write, and to publish whatever I please on any subject., Elija Lovejoy,
Golf is a game in whic
Golf is a game in which you claim the privileges of age, and retain the playthings of childhood., Samuel Johnson, English author, critic, lexicographer (1709 1784)
The Art of Love: knowi
The Art of Love: knowing how to combine the temperment of a vampire with the discretion of an anemone., E.M. Cioran,
Man is only miserable
Man is only miserable so far as he thinks himself so., Jacopo Sannazaro,
Marriage is a wonderfu
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Lie Down and Roll Over
Lie Down and Roll Over and 159 Other Ways To Say I Love You, Book title by Erskine Moran 1981,
In the mirrorlike rela
In the mirrorlike relationship between wine and human beings, Zinfandel owned more reflective properties than any other grape in its infinite mutability, it was capable of expressing almost any philosophical position or psychological function. As a result, its own true nature might never be known., David Darlington, from his novel Angels Visits: An Inquiry into the Mystery of Zinfandel,
What a strange illusio
What a strange illusion it is to suppose that beauty is goodness., Leo Tolstoy, Russian mystic novelist (1828 1910)
Even holligans marry,
Even holligans marry, though they know that marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever., Quentin Crisp,
If you talk to God, yo
If you talk to God, you are praying if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia., Thomas Szasz,
Facts are facts and wi
Facts are facts and will not disappear on account of your likes., Jawaharlal Nehru, Indian politician (1889 1964)
Opera in English is, i
Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Do it big or stay in b
Do it big or stay in bed., Opera producer Larry Kelly,
The future is much lik
The future is much like the present, only longer., Don Quisenberry,
Most of our future lie
Most of our future lies ahead., Denny Crum, Louisville basketball coach,
The trouble with our t
The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be., Paul Valery, French critic poet (1871 1945)
I refuse to consign th
I refuse to consign the whole male sex to the nursery. I insist on believing that some men are my equals., Brigid Brophy,
We would have broken u
We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children? Well, she and I were., Mort Sahl,
People who have no fau
People who have no faults are terrible there is no way to take advantage of them, Anatole France, French novelist (1844 1924)
In the long run we are
In the long run we are all dead., John Maynard Keynes, English economist (1883 1946)
The ornament of a hous
The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it., Ralph Waldo Emerson, US essayist poet (1803 1882)
We are here and it is
We are here and it is now. Further than that all human knowledge is moonshine., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
We owe to the Middle A
We owe to the Middle Ages the two worst inventions of humanity gunpowder and romantic love., Andre Maurois, French author (1885 1967)
Patriotism is the will
Patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons., Bertrand Russell, British author, mathematician, philosopher (1872 1970)
I will not eat oysters
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead not sick, not wounded dead., Woody Allen, US movie actor, comedian, director (1935 )
In Mexico we have a wo
In Mexico we have a word for sushi: bait., Jose Simon,
Favorite animal: steak
Favorite animal: steak., Fran Lebowitz, US writer and humorist (1950 )
The gem cannot be poli
The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials., Chinese Proverb,
The affair between Mar
The affair between Margot Asquith and Margot Asquith will live as one of the prettiest love stories in all literature., Dorothy Parker, US author, humorist, poet, wit (1893 1967)
Love will find a lay.,
Love will find a lay., Robert Byrne,
In expressing love we
In expressing love we belong among the undeveloped countries., Saul Bellow, US (Canadianborn) author (1915 )
If love is the answer,
If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?, Lily Tomlin, US actress comedienne (1939 )
Truth is shorter than
Truth is shorter than fiction., Irving Cohen,
A memorandum is writte
A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer., Dean Acheson,
Remember that nobody w
Remember that nobody will ever get ahead of you as long as he is kicking you in the seat of the pants., Walter Winchell, US gossip columnist broadcast journalist (1897 1972)
The Christian ideal ha
The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting it has been found difficult and left untried., G.K. Chesterton,
The only charm of marr
The only charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception necessary for both parties., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
Has anybody ever seen
Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good., P. G. Wodehouse, British humorist novelist in US (1881 1975)
I hate women because t
I hate women because they always know where things are., James Thurber, US author, cartoonist, humorist, satirist (1894 1961)
The orgasm has replace
The orgasm has replaced the Cross as the focus of longing and the image of fulfillment., Malcolm Muggeridge,
Nothing is so much to
Nothing is so much to be shunned as sex relations., Saint Augustine, Carthaginian author, saint, church father (354 AD 430 AD)
For the preservation o
For the preservation of chastity, an empty and rumbling stomach and fevered lungs are indispensable., St. Jerome,
Nothing matters very m
Nothing matters very much, and few things matter at all., Arthur Balfour,
I have an existential
I have an existential map. It has You are here written all over it., Steven Wright, US comedian and actor (1955 )
Real glory springs fro
Real glory springs from the silent conquest of ourselves., Joseph P. Thompson,
There is no cure for b
There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval, George Santayana, US (Spanishborn) philosopher (1863 1952)
There is more to life
There is more to life than increasing its speed, Mahatma Gandhi, Indian ascetic nationalist leader (1869 1948)
The basic fact about h
The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Great men are not alwa
Great men are not always idiots, Karen Elizabeth Gordon,
Few great men could pa
Few great men could pass Personnel., Paul Goodman, (1911 1972)
The trouble with her i
The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
A married man with a f
A married man with a family will do anything for money., Charles De Talleyrand,
Everyone should carefu
Everyone should carefully observe which way his heart draws him, and then choose that way with all his strength., Hasidic Saying,
Being a woman is of sp
Being a woman is of special interest to aspiring male transexuals. To actual women it is simply a good excuse not to play football., Fran Lebowitz, US writer and humorist (1950 )
Socrates seems to be t
Socrates seems to be the philosophical napkin with which the ensuing cultural thinkers of history wipe their mouths of pedantic ooze., Unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
History is bunk., Henr
History is bunk., Henry Ford, US automobile industrialist (1863 1947)
Very few things happen
Very few things happen at the right time and the rest do not happen at all. The conscientious historian will correct these defects., Herodotus, Greek historian traveler (484 BC 430 BC)
Our ignorance of histo
Our ignorance of history makes us libel our own times. People have always been like this., Gustave Flaubert, French realist novelist (1821 1880)
He that is of the opin
He that is of the opinion money will do everything may well be suspected of doing everything for money., Benjamin Franklin, US author, diplomat, inventor, physicist, politician, printer (1706 1790)
A thing is not necessa
A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
Women want mediocre me
Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible., Margaret Mead, US anthropologist popularizer of anthropology (1901 1978)
Every man is thoroughl
Every man is thoroughly happy twice in his life: just after he has met his first love, and just after he has left his last one., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
When there are two con
When there are two conflicting versions of a story, the wise course is to believe the one in which people appear at their worst., H. Allen Smith,
A pessimist thinks eve
A pessimist thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
I am a kind of paranoi
I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy., J. D. Salinger, US novelist short story author (1919 )
I was going to buy a c
I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought: What the hell good would that do?, Ronnie Shakes,
If only it was as easy
If only it was as easy to banish hunger by rubbing the belly as it is to masturbate., Diogenes the Cynic (412 to 323 B.C.),
Philosophy is to the r
Philosophy is to the real world as masturbation is to sex., Karl Marx, German economist Communist political philosopher (1818 1883)
The reward of one duty
The reward of one duty is the power to fulfill another., George Eliot, English novelist (1819 1880)
It is even harder for
It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
The final delusion is
The final delusion is the belief that one has lost all delusions., Maurice Chapelain,
Being in the army is l
Being in the army is like being in the Boy Scouts, except that the Boy Scouts have adult supervision., Blake Clark,
War is a series of cat
War is a series of catastrophes that results in a victory., Georges Clemenceau, French politician (1841 1929)
Military justice is to
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music., Georges Clemenceau, French politician (1841 1929)
Anyone who says he can
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot., Groucho Marx, US comedian with Marx Brothers (1890 1977)
My mother loved childr
My mother loved children she would have given anything if I had been one., Groucho Marx, US comedian with Marx Brothers (1890 1977)
May God defend me from
May God defend me from my friends I can defend myself from my enemies., Voltaire, French author, humanist, rationalist, satirist (1694 1778)
Difficulties are meant
Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict., William Ellery Channing, US abolitionist clergyman (1780 1842)
This poem will never r
This poem will never reach its destination., Voltaire, French author, humanist, rationalist, satirist (1694 1778)
Anything that is too s
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung., Voltaire, French author, humanist, rationalist, satirist (1694 1778)
I get my exercise acti
I get my exercise acting as a pallbearer to my friends who exercise., Chauncey Depew,
Health nuts are going
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing., Redd Foxx, US comedian (1922 1991)
Imitation is the since
Imitation is the sincerest form of television., Fred Allen, US radio comedian (1894 1956)
When people are free t
When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other., Eric Hoffer, (1902 1983)
The human race is face
The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television., Unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
I married beneath me
I married beneath me all women do., Nancy Astor, British politician (1879 1964)
Never chase a lie. Let
Never chase a lie. Let it alone, and it will run itself to death., Lyman Beecher, US clergyman (1775 1863)
Nice guys finish last,
Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in., Evan Davis,
Sleep is an eighthour
Sleep is an eighthour peep show of infantile erotica., J.G. Ballard,
Decency...must be an e
Decency...must be an even more exhausting state to maintain than its opposite. Those who succeed seem to need a stupefying amount of sleep., Quentin Crisp,
I have to think hard t
I have to think hard to name an interesting man who does not drink., Richard Burton,
Alcohol is the anesthe
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
I have taken more out
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me., Sir Winston Churchill, British politician (1874 1965)
Marriage is like a ban
Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest., Professor Irwin Corey, American vaudeville comic and actor (1914 )
Love is an obsessive d
Love is an obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage., Dr. Karl Bowman,
It is most unwise for
It is most unwise for people in love to marry, George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
Nothing is a waste of
Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely., Rodin, French sculptor (1840 1917)
Sigmund Freud was a ha
Sigmund Freud was a half baked Viennese quack. Our literature, culture, and the the films of Woody Allen would be better today if Freud had never written a word., Ian Shoales,
Saints should always b
Saints should always be judged guilty until they are proved innocent., George Orwell, English essayist, novelist, satirist (1903 1950)
The only paradise is p
The only paradise is paradise lost., Marcel Proust, French novelist (1871 1922)
It is a mistake to spe
It is a mistake to speak of a bad choice in love, since as soon as a choice exists, it can only be bad., Marcel Proust, French novelist (1871 1922)
What luck for rulers t
What luck for rulers that men do not think., Adolf Hitler, German Nazi dictator, orator, politician (1889 1945)
I propose getting rid
I propose getting rid of conventional armaments and replacing them with reasonably priced hydrogen bombs that would be distributed equally throughout the world., Idi Amin,
No doubt Jack the Ripp
No doubt Jack the Ripper excused himself on the grounds that it was human nature., A.A. Milne,
When men are pure, law
When men are pure, laws are useless when men are corrupt, laws are broken., Benjamin Disraeli, British politician (1804 1881)
Every law is an infrac
Every law is an infraction of liberty., Jeremy Bentham,
A man always remembers
A man always remembers his first love with special tenderness, but after that he begins to bunch them., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
It takes a woman twent
It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him., Helen Rowland, (1876 1950)
A man ought to be able
A man ought to be able to be fond of his wife without making a fool of himself about her., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
Money is good for brib
Money is good for bribing yourself through the inconveniences of life., Gottfried Reinhardt,
A billion here, a bill
A billion here, a billion there pretty soon it adds up to real money., Senator Everett Dirksen, US politician (1896 1969)
Behind every great for
Behind every great fortune there is a crime., Honore de Balzac, French realist novelist (1799 1850)
I believe that the pow
I believe that the power to make money is a gift from God., John D. Rockefeller, US oil industrialist philanthropist (1839 1937)
God is love, but get i
God is love, but get it in writing., Gypsy Rose Lee, US actress stripper (1914 1970)
Marriage is like payin
Marriage is like paying an endless visit in your worst clothes., J.B. Priestley,
The fickleness of the
The fickleness of the women whom I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
Solitude would be idea
Solitude would be ideal if you could pick the people to avoid., Karl Kraus, Austrian author and journalist (1874 1936)
I feel a very unusual
I feel a very unusual sensation if it is not indigestion, I think it must be gratitude., Benjamin Disraeli, British politician (1804 1881)
Life is not so bad if
Life is not so bad if you have plenty of luck, a good physique and not too much imagination., Christopher Isherwood,
A family is but too of
A family is but too often a commonwealth of malignants., Alexander Pope, English poet satirist (1688 1744)
Cogito ergo dim sum. (
Cogito ergo dim sum. (Therefore I think these are pork buns.), Robert Byrne,
I tried to resist his
I tried to resist his overtures, but he plied me with symphonies, quartettes, chamber music, and cantatas., S.J. Perelman,
Nothing gives one pers
Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances., Thomas Jefferson, 3rd president of US (1743 1826)
Even Bach comes down t
Even Bach comes down to the basic suck, blow, suck, suck, blow., Mouth organist Larry Adler,
Classical music is the
Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune., Kin Hubbard, (1868 1930)
Too many pieces of mus
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end., Igor Stravinsky, Russian composer in US (1882 1971)
I have read your book
I have read your book and much like it., Moses Hadas, (1900 1966)
This book fills a much
This book fills a much needed gap., Moses Hadas, (1900 1966)
A big book is a big bo
A big book is a big bore., Callimachus (c. 260 B.C.),
In every fat book ther
In every fat book there is a thin book trying to get out., Unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
A novel is a piece of
A novel is a piece of prose of a certain length with something wrong with it., Unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
The greatest good you
The greatest good you can do for another is not just share your riches, but to reveal to him his own., Benjamin Disraeli, British politician (1804 1881)
My toughest fight was
My toughest fight was with my first wife., Muhammad Ali, US boxer (1942 )
Hurting people is my b
Hurting people is my business., Sugar Ray Robinson,
There are more pleasan
There are more pleasant things to do than beat up people., Muhammad Ali on the occasion of one of his retirements,
I am firm. You are obs
I am firm. You are obstinate. He is a pigheaded fool., Katharine Whitehorn,
Good taste is the wors
Good taste is the worst vice ever invented., Dame Edith Sitwell,
It is far more impress
It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help., Judith Martin, (Miss Manners),
I wonder how so insupp
I wonder how so insupportable a thing as a bookseller was ever permitted to grow up in the Commonwealth. Many of our modern booksellers are but needless excrements, or rather vermin., George Wither,
At age 50 every man ha
At age 50 every man has the face he deserves., George Orwell, English essayist, novelist, satirist (1903 1950)
Advertising is the mod
Advertising is the modern substitute for argument its function is to make the worse appear the better., George Santayana, US (Spanishborn) philosopher (1863 1952)
Fashions are the only
Fashions are the only induced epidemics, proving that epidemics can be induced by tradesmen., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
The art of taxation co
The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to obtain the largest possible amount of feathers with the smallest amount of hissing., Jean Baptiste Colbert,
There is just one thin
There is just one thing I can promise you about the outerspace program: your dollar will go further., Wernher Von Braun, US (Germanborn) rocket engineer (1912 1977)
An income tax form is
An income tax form is like a laundry list either way you lose your shirt., Fred Allen, US radio comedian (1894 1956)
The avoidance of taxes
The avoidance of taxes is the only pursuit that carries any reward., John Maynard Keynes, English economist (1883 1946)
The point to remember
The point to remember is what the government gives it must first take away., John S. Coleman,
Why does a small tax i
Why does a small tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and s substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?, Peg Bracken,
Man is not like other
Man is not like other animals in the ways that are really significant: Animals have instincts, we have taxes., Erving Goffman,
Noah must have taken i
Noah must have taken into the Ark two taxes, one male and one female. And did they multiply bountifully! Next to guinea pigs, taxes must have been the most prolific animals., Will Rogers, US humorist showman (1879 1935)
And it came to pass in
And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed., (St. Luke 2:1),
Our truest life is whe
Our truest life is when we are in our dreams awake., Henry David Thoreau, US Transcendentalist author (1817 1862)
Great spirits have alw
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds., Albert Einstein, US (Germanborn) physicist (1879 1955)
If one advances confid
If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours., Henry David Thoreau, US Transcendentalist author (1817 1862)
There is no way to hap
There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way., Eykis,
Change your thoughts a
Change your thoughts and you change your world., Norman Vincent Peale, US clergyman (1898 1993)
People are about as ha
People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be., Abraham Lincoln, 16th president of US (1809 1865)
There is nothing eithe
There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so., William Shakespeare, Greatest English dramatist poet (1564 1616)
We become what we thin
We become what we think about all day long., Ralph Waldo Emerson, US essayist poet (1803 1882)
Nothing is more powerf
Nothing is more powerful than an idea whose time has come., Victor Hugo, French dramatist, novelist, poet (1802 1885)
People and things do n
People and things do not upset us, rather we upset ourselves by believing that they can upset us., Albert Ellis, founder of Rational Emotive Therapy,
I saw that all things
I saw that all things I feared, and which feared me, had nothing good or bad in them save insofar as the mind was affected by them., Spinoza, Dutch Philosopher,
There are times when p
There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you., Peter De Vries,
The only ism Hollywood
The only ism Hollywood believes in is plagiarism., Dorothy Parker, US author, humorist, poet, wit (1893 1967)
Memory feeds imaginati
Memory feeds imagination., Amy Tan, US novelist (1952 )
A liberal is a man who
A liberal is a man who leaves the room when the fight begins., Heywood Broun, US journalist (1888 1939)
There are many who dar
There are many who dare not kill themselves for fear of what the neighbors will say., Cyril Connolly, (1903 1974)
Life does not cease to
Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
I admire the serene a
I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
The art of government
The art of government consists in taking as much money as possible from one class of the citizens to give to the other., Voltaire, French author, humanist, rationalist, satirist (1694 1778)
Nothing in our culture
Nothing in our culture, not even home computers, is more overrated than the epidermal felicity of two featherless bipeds in desperate congress., Quentin Crisp,
The trouble with borna
The trouble with bornagain Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around., Herb Caen,
Minds are like parachu
Minds are like parachutes they only function when open., Unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
One is not superior me
One is not superior merely because one sees the world as odious., Chateaubriand,
How could I lose to su
How could I lose to such an idiot?, Aaron Nimzovich, A shout from the chess grandmaster,
Courage is the price t
Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace., Amelia Earhart, US aviator (1897 1937)
I was thrown out of co
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam I looked into the soul of the boy next to me., Woody Allen, Annie Hall, US movie actor, comedian, director (1935 )
The advantage of the e
The advantage of the emotions is that they lead us astray., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
Sentimentality is the
Sentimentality is the emotional promiscuity of those who have no sentiment., Norman Mailer, US journalist novelist (1923 )
Yer beautiful in yer w
Yer beautiful in yer wrath! I shall keep you, and in responding to my passions, yer hatred will kindle into love., John Wayne, (as Genghis Kahn to Susan Hayward in the move The Conqueror) 1956, US movie actor director (1907 1979)
You have to have a tal
You have to have a talent for having talent., Ruth Gordon,
A team effort is a lot
A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say., Michael Winner, British film director,
It was like passing th
It was like passing the scene of a highway accident and being relieved to learn that nobody had been seriously injured., Martin Cruz Smith on being asked how he liked the movie version of his novel Gorky Park.,
Actresses will happen
Actresses will happen in the best regulated families., Oliver Herford,
Nothing would disgust
Nothing would disgust me more, morally, than receiving an Oscar., Luis Bunuel, Mexican (Spanishborn) Surrealist movie director (1900 1983)
Passionate hatred can
Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life., Eric Hoffer, (1902 1983)
The people are to be t
The people are to be taken in very small doses., Ralph Waldo Emerson, US essayist poet (1803 1882)
If one is to be called
If one is to be called a liar, one may as well make an effort to deserve the name., A.A. Milne,
The best way to keep c
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant and let the air out of the tires., Dorothy Parker, US author, humorist, poet, wit (1893 1967)
Real success is findin
Real success is finding your lifework in the work that you love., David McCullough, US biographer historian (1933 )
Selfrespect: the secur
Selfrespect: the secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Archbishop: a Christia
Archbishop: a Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior to that attained by Christ., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
The worshiper is the f
The worshiper is the father of the gods., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Every day people are s
Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God., Lenny Bruce, (1923 1966)
The scenery in the pla
The scenery in the play was beautiful, but the actors got in front of it., Alexander Woollcott, US author (1887 1943)
Screenwriters? Schmuck
Screenwriters? Schmucks with Underwoods., Jack Warner,
Spring makes everythin
Spring makes everything look filthy., Katherine Whitehorn,
We must use time as a
We must use time as a tool, not as a crutch., John F. Kennedy, US Democratic politician (1917 1963)
Conscience and cowardi
Conscience and cowardice are really the same thing. Conscience is the tradename of the firm., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
The Irish are a fair p
The Irish are a fair people they never speak well of one another., Samuel Johnson, English author, critic, lexicographer (1709 1784)
I showed my appreciati
I showed my appreciation of my native land in the usual Irish way by getting out of it as soon as I possibly could., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
The danger is not that
The danger is not that a particular class is unfit to govern. Every class is unfit to govern., Lord Acton,
We should all be oblig
We should all be obliged to appear before a board every five years and justify our existence...on pain of liquidation., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
Very few things happen
Very few things happen at the right time and the rest do not happen at all. The conscientious historian will correct these defects., Herodotus, Greek historian traveler (484 BC 430 BC)
We learn from history
We learn from history that we do not learn from history., Georg Friedrich Wilhelm Hegel,
Every man thinks God i
Every man thinks God is on his side. The rich and powerful know He is., Jean Anouilh, French dramatist (1910 1987)
Marriage is popular be
Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
Those who welcome deat
Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up., Wilson Mizner, US screenwriter (1876 1933)
It has been my experie
It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues., Abraham Lincoln, 16th president of US (1809 1865)
Obscenity is what happ
Obscenity is what happens to shock some elderly and ignorant magistrate., Bertrand Russell, British author, mathematician, philosopher (1872 1970)
A gourmet who thinks o
A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch., James Beard,
LOVE: A word properly
LOVE: A word properly applied to our delight in particular kinds of food sometimes metaphorically spoken of the favorite objects of all our appetites., Henry Fielding, English dramatist novelist (1707 1754)
We often forgive those
We often forgive those who bore us, but we cannot forgive those whom we bore., Francois De La Rochefoucauld, French author moralist (1613 1680)
A person is never happ
A person is never happy except at the price of some ignorance., Anatole France, French novelist (1844 1924)
It is time I stepped a
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man., Professor Scott Elledge on his retirement from Cornell,
A little inaccuracy so
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation., H.H. Munro (Saki),
Manners are especially
Manners are especially the need of the plain. The pretty can get away with anything., Evelyn Waugh, English novelist satirist (1903 1966)
Children are never too
Children are never too tender to be whipped. Like tough beefsteaks, the more you beat them, the more tender they become., Edgar Allan Poe, US short story author, editor, poet (1809 1849)
"9W"Answer to the ques
"9W"Answer to the question: Do you spell your name with a V, Mr. Vagner?, Steve Allen, from the Question Man segment on the Steve Allen Show,
Wagner drives the nail
Wagner drives the nail into your head with swinging hammer blows., P.A. Fiorentino,
The prelude to Tristan
The prelude to Tristan and Isolde reminds me of the Italian painting of the martyr whose intestines are slowly being unwound from his body on a reel., Eduard Hanslick,
The prelude to Tristan
The prelude to Tristan and Isolde sounded as if a bomb had fallen into a large music factory and had thrown all the notes into confusion., The Tribune, Berlin, 1871,
There is no law agains
There is no law against composing music when one has no ideas whatsoever. The music of Wagner, therefore, is perfectly legal, The National, Paris, 1850,
He who does not desire
He who does not desire power is fit to hold it., Plato, Greek author philosopher in Athens (427 BC 347 BC)
Jury: a group of twelv
Jury: a group of twelve men who, having lied to the judge about their hearing, health and business engagements, have failed to fool him., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
I think it would be a
I think it would be a good idea., Mahatma Gandhi, when asked what he thought of Western civilization, Indian ascetic nationalist leader (1869 1948)
The first human being
The first human being who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the founder of civilization., Sigmund Freud, (Attributed), Austrian psychologist (1856 1939)
Civilization exists by
Civilization exists by geological consent, subject to change without notice., Will Durant, US historian (1885 1981)
You can discover more
You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation., Plato, Greek author philosopher in Athens (427 BC 347 BC)
The civilization of on
The civilization of one epoch becomes the manure of the next., Cyril Connolly, (1903 1974)
Cleaning anything invo
Cleaning anything involves making something else dirty, but anything can get dirty without something else getting clean., Laurence J. Peter, US educator writer (1919 1988)
A bore is a fellow tal
A bore is a fellow talking who can change the subject back to his topic of conversation faster than you can change it back to yours., Laurence J. Peter, US educator writer (1919 1988)
Ronald Reagan is the m
Ronald Reagan is the most ignorant president since Warren Harding., Ralph Nader, The Pacific Sun, March 21 1981,
Harding was not a bad
Harding was not a bad man, he was just a slob., Alice Roosevelt Longworth, from Mrs. L. Conversations with Alice Roosevelt Longworth, US author wit (1884 1980)
The only man, woman, o
The only man, woman, or child who ever wrote a simple declarative sentence with seven grammatical errors is dead., e. e. cummings, on the death of Warren G. Harding, 1923,
A man never reaches th
A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be led by the nose., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
We can learn much from
We can learn much from wise words, little from wisecracks, and less from wise guys., William Arthur Ward,
Scandal is gossip made
Scandal is gossip made tedious by morality., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
The end of the human r
The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization., Ralph Waldo Emerson, US essayist poet (1803 1882)
There are two million
There are two million interesting people in New York and only seventyeight in Los Angles., Neil Simon, in Playboy, Feb. 1979,
In San Francisco, Halo
In San Francisco, Haloween is redundant., Will Durst,
Victory goes to the pl
Victory goes to the player who makes the nexttolast mistake., Savielly Grigorievitcyh Tartakower,
George Washington as a
George Washington as a boy was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth he could not even lie., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
Beware of the man whos
Beware of the man whose God is in the skies., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
He who despises himsel
He who despises himself esteems himself as a selfdespiser., Friedrich Nietzsche, German philosopher (1844 1900)
It is well to write lo
It is well to write love letters. There are certain things for which it is not easy to ask your mistress face to face, like money for instance., Henri De Regnier,
If Christ were here no
If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be a Christian., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
Once the people begin
Once the people begin to reason, all is lost., Voltaire, French author, humanist, rationalist, satirist (1694 1778)
One of the greatest vi
One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness., Josh Billings, US Humorist (1818 1885)
I was once thrown out
I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing the other patients., Oscar Levant, (1906 1972)
Every word is like an
Every word is like an unnecessary stain on silence and nothingness., Beckett,
If Jesus Christ were t
If Jesus Christ were to come today, people would not even crucify him. They would ask him to dinner, and hear what he had to say, and make fun of it., Thomas Carlyle, Scottish author, essayist, historian (1795 1881)
Alas, I am dying beyon
Alas, I am dying beyond my means., Oscar Wilde, as he sipped champagne on his deathbed, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
MacDonald has the gift
MacDonald has the gift of compressing the largest amount of words into the smallest amount of thoughts., Sir Winston Churchill, British politician (1874 1965)
Happiness is the inter
Happiness is the interval between periods of unhappiness., Don Marquis, US humorist (1878 1937)
However, never daunted
However, never daunted, I will cope with adversity in my traditional manner ... sulking and nausea., Tom K. Ryan,
"Hello," he lied., Don
"Hello," he lied., Don Carpenter quoting a Hollywood agent,
The Hollywood traditio
The Hollywood tradition I like best is called sucking up to the stars., Johnny Carson, US comedian television host (1925 2005)
Hollywood is a place w
Hollywood is a place where they place you under contract instead of under observation., Walter Winchell, US gossip columnist broadcast journalist (1897 1972)
Strip away the phony t
Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you find the real tinsel underneath., Oscar Levant, (1906 1972)
The graveyards are ful
The graveyards are full of indispensable men., Charles de Gaulle, French general politician (1890 1970)
Dying is a very dull,
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it., W. Somerset Maugham, English dramatist novelist (1874 1965)
The family is a court
The family is a court of justice which never shuts down for night or day., Malcolm De Chazal,
It is only shallow peo
It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
Give a man a fish and
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to create an artificial shortage of fish and he will eat steak., Jay Leno, US comedian television host (1950 )
Being perfectly welldr
Being perfectly welldressed gives a feeling of tranquility that religion is powerless to bestow., Ralph Waldo Emerson, quoting a friend, US essayist poet (1803 1882)
Shut up he explained.,
Shut up he explained., Ring Lardner, The Young Immigrants, 1920, US author (1885 1933)
My loathings are simpl
My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music., Vladimir Nabokov, US (Russianborn) author translator (1899 1977)
No one is completely u
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend., Groucho Marx, US comedian with Marx Brothers (1890 1977)
Lactomangulation, n. M
Lactomangulation, n. Manhandling the open here spout on a milk carton so badly that one has to resort to using the illegal side., Rich Hall, Sniglets,
It is better to know s
It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers., James Thurber, US author, cartoonist, humorist, satirist (1894 1961)
Thank God kids never m
Thank God kids never mean well, Lily Tomlin, US actress comedienne (1939 )
A child is a curly, di
A child is a curly, dimpled lunatic., Ralph Waldo Emerson, US essayist poet (1803 1882)
All children are essen
All children are essentially criminal., Denis Diderot, French author, encyclopedist, philosopher (1713 1784)
My wife and I tried to
My wife and I tried to breakfast together, but we had to stop or our marriage would have been wrecked., Sir Winston Churchill, British politician (1874 1965)
It is one of the super
It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue., Voltaire, French author, humanist, rationalist, satirist (1694 1778)
A liberal is someone w
A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money., G. Gordon Liddy,
A casual stroll throug
A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything., Friedrich Nietzsche, German philosopher (1844 1900)
Many a man has fallen
Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it., Maurice Chevalier, French entertainer (1888 1972)
Responsiblity is a uni
Responsiblity is a unique concept. It can only reside and inhere in a single individual. You may share it with others, but your portion is not diminished. You may delegate it, but it is still with you. You may disclaim it, but you cannot divest yourself of it., Admiral Hyman Rickover,
If men could get pregn
If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament., Florynce Kennedy,
If there were a verb m
If there were a verb meaning to believe falsely, it would not have any significant first person, present indicative., Ludwig Wittgenstein, Austrian philosopher (1889 1951)
Chastity always takes
Chastity always takes its toll. In some it produces pimples in others, sex laws., Karl Kraus, Austrian author and journalist (1874 1936)
On Monday mornings I a
On Monday mornings I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks., H. Allen Smith, Let the Crabgrass Grow,
Egotism is the anesthe
Egotism is the anesthetic given by a kindly nature to relieve the pain of being a damned fool., Bellamy Brooks,
Whenever people agree
Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
...all life is only a
...all life is only a set of pictures in the brain, among which there is no difference betwixt those born of real things and those born of inward dreamings, and (there is) no cause to value one above the other.", H.P. Lovecraft,
The main thing is you
The main thing is you and I should exist, and that we should be you and I. Apart from that let everything go as it likes. The best order of things to my way thinking, is the one I was meant to be part of, and to hell with the most perfect of worlds if I am not in it. I would rather exist, even as an impudent argufier, than not exist at all., JeanFrancois Rameau,
Now hatred is by far t
Now hatred is by far the longest pleasure Men love in haste, but they detest at leisure., Lord Byron, English poet satirist (1788 1824)
Men are like steel. Wh
Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth., Chuck Norris, US movie actor (1940 )
War is the biggest ego
War is the biggest ego trip of all time., Molly Wiest,
The English think inco
The English think incompetence is the same thing as sincerity., Quentin Crisp,
When I get smitten, I
When I get smitten, I stay smut., Charlie McCarthy,
The United States is l
The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to everybody and still nobody likes him., Jim Samuels,
America is a large fri
America is a large friendly dog in a small room. Every time it wags its tail it knocks over a chair., Arnold Toynbee, English historian historical philosopher (1889 1975)
In America, through pr
In America, through pressure of conformity, there is freedom of choice, but nothing to choose from., Peter Ustinov, English actor author (1921 2004)
When a true genius app
When a true genius appears in the world you may know him by this sign: that all the dunces are in confederacy against him., Jonathan Swift, Irish essayist, novelist, satirist (1667 1745)
A clergyman is one who
A clergyman is one who feels himself called upon to live without working at the expense of the rascals who work to live., Voltaire, French author, humanist, rationalist, satirist (1694 1778)
What is the matter wit
What is the matter with the poor is poverty what is the matter with the rich is uselessness., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
Good manners will open
Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot., Clarence Thomas, US administrator lawyer (1948 )
If you are ruled by mi
If you are ruled by mind you are a king if by body, a slave., Cato, Roman statesman and historian,
What sane person could
What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?, Ursula K. LeGuin,
Every gun that is made
Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children. This is not a way of life at all in any true sense. Under the clouds of war, it is humanity hanging on a cross of iron., Dwight Eisenhower, April 16 1953,
Reading musses up my m
Reading musses up my mind., Henry Ford, US automobile industrialist (1863 1947)
Justice is incedental
Justice is incedental to law and order., J. Edgar Hoover,
The more I study relig
The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself, Sir Richard F. Burton,
What torture, this lif
What torture, this life in society! Often someone is obliging enough to offer me a light, and in order to oblige him I have to fish a cigarette out of my pocket., Karl Kraus, Austrian author and journalist (1874 1936)
When she was a small g
When she was a small girl, Amanda hid a ticking clock in an old, rotten tree trunk. It drove woodpeckers crazy. Ignoring tasty bugs all around them, they just about beat their brains out trying to get at the clock. Years later, Amanda used the woodpecker experiment as a model for understanding capitalism, Communism, Christianity, and all other systems that traffic in future rewards rather than in present realities., Tom Robbins, US novelist (1936 )
Aliter catuli longe ol
Aliter catuli longe olent, aliter sues. ("Puppies and pigs have a very different smell."), Plautus,
Virginity is in the li
Virginity is in the lies of the beholder., The Clown Prince of Darkness,
Celibacy is not heredi
Celibacy is not hereditary., Guy Goden,
We may eventually come
We may eventually come to realize that chastity is no more a virtue than malnutrition., Alex Comfort,
I knew her before she
I knew her before she was a virgin., Oscar Levant, (1906 1972)
Experience is the name
Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
Honest criticism is ha
Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger., Franklin P. Jones,
Confession is good for
Confession is good for the soul only in the sense that a tweed coat is good for dandruff it is a palliative rather than a remedy., Peter De Vries,
New York is the only c
New York is the only city in the world where you can get deliberately run down on the sidewalk by a pedestrian., Russell Baker, US columnist journalist (1925 )
Bore: a man who is nev
Bore: a man who is never unintentionally rude., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
In California everyone
In California everyone goes to a therapist, is a therapist, or is a therapist going to a therapist., Truman Capote, US author (1924 1984)
Good resolutions are s
Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
It is better to be quo
It is better to be quotable than to be honest., Tom Stoppard, British dramatist screenwriter (1937 )
Puritanism is the haun
Puritanism is the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
In the fight between y
In the fight between you and the world, back the world., Frank Zappa, US musician, singer, songwriter (1940 1993)
Gifts are like hooks.,
Gifts are like hooks., Marcus Valerius Martialis, (40 AD 103 AD)
Holidays are an expens
Holidays are an expensive trial of strength. The only satisfaction comes from survival., Jonathan Miller,
People are far more si
People are far more sincere and goodhumored at speeding their parting guests than on meeting them., Anton Chekhov, Russian dramatist short story author (1860 1904)
Never play leapfrog wi
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn., Benny Hill,
Come quickly, I am tas
Come quickly, I am tasting stars!, Dom Perignon, at the moment of his discovery of champagne,
Even if you do learn t
Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?, Clarence Darrow, US defense lawyer (1857 1938)
We must never forget t
We must never forget that art is not a form of propaganda it is a form of truth., John F. Kennedy, October 26 1963, US Democratic politician (1917 1963)
Blessed be the meek, f
Blessed be the meek, for they shall inherit six feet of the earth., The Clown Prince of Darkness, corresponsdence,
Every government is ru
Every government is run by liars. Nothing they say should be believed., I.F. Stone 19071989,
Santa Claus had the ri
Santa Claus had the right idea. Visit everyone once a year., Victor Borges,
Men make history, and
Men make history, and not the other way around. In periods where there is no leadership, society stands still. Progress occurs when courageous, skillful leaders seize the opportunity to change things for the better., Harry S Truman, 33rd president of US (1884 1972)
Discussion is an excha
Discussion is an exchange of knowledge argument an exchange of ignorance., Robert Quillen,
There are three side e
There are three side effects of acid. Enchanced long term memory, decreased short term memory, and I forget the third., Timothy Leary, US psychologist promoter of mindaltering drugs (1920 1996)
A witty saying proves
A witty saying proves nothing., Voltaire, French author, humanist, rationalist, satirist (1694 1778)
The art of medicine co
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease., Voltaire, French author, humanist, rationalist, satirist (1694 1778)
The best way to cheer
The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
Read my lipsNO NEW TAX
Read my lipsNO NEW TAXES!, George Herbert Walker Bush, Nov. 1988,
We are born princes an
We are born princes and the civilizing process makes us frogs., Eric Berne, US (Canadianborn) psychologist (1910 1970)
Democracy gives every
Democracy gives every man the right to be his own oppressor., James Russell Lowell,
All men dream: but not
All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, to make it possible., T. E. Lawrence, The Seven Pillars of Wisdom,
The face is the mirror
The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart., Saint Jerome, church father saint (374 AD 419 AD)
We will occasionally u
We will occasionally use this arrow notation unless there is danger of no confusion., Ronald Graham, Rudiments of Ramsey Theory,
I have been assured by
I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled, and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee, or a ragout., Jonathan Swift, A Modest Proposal, Irish essayist, novelist, satirist (1667 1745)
Duty then is the subli
Duty then is the sublimest word in the English language. You should do your duty in all things. You can never do more, you should never wish to do less., General Robert E. Lee,
War is an ugly thing,
War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself., John Stuart Mill, English economist philosopher (1806 1873)
Neurosis is the inabil
Neurosis is the inability to tolerate ambiguity., Sigmund Freud, Austrian psychologist (1856 1939)
I do not know myself,
I do not know myself, and God forbid that I should., Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, German dramatist, novelist, poet, scientist (1749 1832)
Sometimes I think the
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us., Bill Watterson, cartoonist, US cartoonist (1958 )
A man said to the Univ
A man said to the Universe: Sir, I exist! However, replied the Universe, the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation., Stephen Crane,
Courage is being scare
Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway., John Wayne, US movie actor director (1907 1979)
What can you say about
What can you say about a society that says God is dead and Elvis is alive?, Irv Kupcinet,
I like pigs. Dogs look
I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals., Sir Winston Churchill, British politician (1874 1965)
The genius of you Amer
The genius of you Americans is that you never make clearcut stupid moves, only complicated stupid moves which make us wonder at the possibility that there may be something to them we are missing., Gamel Abdel Nasser,
We Americans live in a
We Americans live in a nation where the medicalcare system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it., Dave Barry, US columnist humorist (1947 )
Some men are born medi
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them., Joseph Heller, US novelist (1923 )
Sometimes a cigar is j
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar., Sigmund Freud, Austrian psychologist (1856 1939)
People forget how fast
People forget how fast you did a job but they remember how well you did it., Howard Newton,
After all is said and
After all is said and done, a lot more will be said than done., Unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
Freedom is just Chaos,
Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting., Alan Dean Foster To the Vanishing Point,
Live so that your frie
Live so that your friends can defend you but never have to., Arnold H. Glasgow,
What the world needs t
What the world needs today is a definite, spiritual mobilization of the nations who belive in God against this tide of Red agnosticism. ...And in rejecting an atheistic other world, I am confident that the Almighty God will be with us., President Herbert Hoover, in proposing the abolition of the United Nations, in favor of a cooperation of Godfearing free natio, ) INSERT INTO `quotes` VALUES (1944, Democracy is, first and foremost, a spiritual force, it is built upon a spiritual basis and on a belief in God and an observance of moral principle. And in the long run only the church can provide that basis. Our founder knew this truth and we will neglect it at our peril., President Harry Truman, Public Papers of the President of the United States: Harry S. Truman 1951 U.S. Gov. 1966 p1063, ) INSERT INTO `quotes` VALUES (1945, Our religious faith gives us the answer to the false beliefs of Communism... I have the feeling that God has created us and brought us to our present position of power and strength for some great purpose., President Harry Truman, Public Papers of the President of the United States: Harry S. Truman 1951 U.S. Gov. 1966 pp548549, ) INSERT INTO `quotes` VALUES (1946, It sure does, Ben, it definitely does...this is definite...it specifically clearly, unequivocally says that Russia and other countries will enter into war and God will destroy Russia through earthquakes, volcanoes..., Pat Robertson, when asked the question Does the Bible specifically tell us what is going to happen in the future", 700 Club D, ) INSERT INTO `quotes` VALUES (1947, America has begun a spiritual reawakening. Faith and hope are being restored. Americans are turning back to God. Church attendance is up. Audiences for religious books and broadcasts are growing. And I do believe that he has begun to heal our blessed land., President Ronald Reagan, to the National Association of Evangelicals, Columbus, Ohio, ) INSERT INTO `quotes` VALUES (1948, Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can., Danny Kaye, US actor singer (1913 1987)) INSERT INTO `quotes` VALUES (1949, Husbands never become good they merely become proficient., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)) INSERT INTO `quotes` VALUES (1950, Curiosity killed the cat, but for awhile I was a suspect., Steven Wright, US comedian and actor (1955 )) INSERT INTO `quotes` VALUES (1951, The only difference between genius and stupidity is that genius is limited., unknown, Quotations by unknown authors ) INSERT INTO `quotes` VALUES (1952, Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped., Elbert Hubbard, US
Fashion is a form of u
Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
The right to do someth
The right to do something does not mean that doing it is right., William Safire, US columnist speechwriter (1929 )
It is not enough to su
It is not enough to succeed others must fail., Gore Vidal, US author dramatist (1925 )
Oh God, how do the wor
Oh God, how do the world and heavens confine themselves, when our hearts tremble in their own barriers!, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, German dramatist, novelist, poet, scientist (1749 1832)
God seems to have left
God seems to have left the receiver off the hook and time is running out., Arthur Koestler, British (Hungarianborn) author (1905 1983)
Californians invented
Californians invented the concept of lifestyle. This alone warrants their doom., Don DeLillo,
Wife: a former sweethe
Wife: a former sweetheart., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Anybody caught selling
Anybody caught selling macrame in public should be dyed a natural color and hung out to dry., Calvin Trillin, US columnist (1935 )
Finance is the art of
Finance is the art of passing currency from hand to hand until it finally disappears., Robert W. Sarnoff,
There is no great conc
There is no great concurrence between learning and wisdom, Sir Francis Bacon, English author, courtier, philosopher (1561 1626)
There are three terrib
There are three terrible ages of childhood 1 to 10 10 to 20 and 20 to 30., Cleveland Amory,
War is like love it al
War is like love it always finds a way., Bertolt Brecht, German Communist dramatist (1898 1956)
Perhaps God is not dea
Perhaps God is not dead perhaps God is himself mad., R. D. Laing,
Democracy: The worship
Democracy: The worship of jackals by jackasses., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Early to rise and earl
Early to rise and early to bed Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead, James Thurber, US author, cartoonist, humorist, satirist (1894 1961)
It must be remembered
It must be remembered that there is nothing more difficult to plan, more doubtful of success, nor more dangerous to manage, than the creation of a new system. For the initiator has the enmity of all who would profit by the preservation of the old institutions and merely lukewarm defenders in those who would gain by the new ones., Machiavelli,
Grief is a species of
Grief is a species of idleness., Samuel Johnson, English author, critic, lexicographer (1709 1784)
All progress is based
All progress is based upon a universal innate desire on the part of every organism to live beyond its income., Samuel Butler, English composer, novelist, satiric author (1835 1902)
To be conscious that y
To be conscious that you are ignorant is a great step to knowledge., Benjamin Disraeli, Sybil, 1845, British politician (1804 1881)
I do not believe in Go
I do not believe in God. I believe in cashmere., Fran Lebowitz, US writer and humorist (1950 )
My Lord, my Lord! What
My Lord, my Lord! What hast Thou done, lately?, Woody Allen, Without Feathers, US movie actor, comedian, director (1935 )
Whosover loveth wisdom
Whosover loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird., Woody Allen, Without Feathers, US movie actor, comedian, director (1935 )
The wicked at heart pr
The wicked at heart probably know something., Woody Allen, Without Feathers, US movie actor, comedian, director (1935 )
Whosoever shall not fa
Whosoever shall not fall by the sword or by famine, shall fall by pestilence, so why bother shaving?, Woody Allen, Without Feathers, US movie actor, comedian, director (1935 )
Military intelligence
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms., Groucho Marx, US comedian with Marx Brothers (1890 1977)
Obviously something sl
Obviously something slipped through here., Reverend John Vaughan, Financial administrator for the Archdiocese of Miami (when asked why they held stock in companies that ma,
A jury consists of twe
A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawer., Robert Frost, US poet (1874 1963)
Knowledge is power., S
Knowledge is power., Sir Francis Bacon, Religious Meditations, Of Heresies, 1597, English author, courtier, philosopher (1561 1626)
Accident, n.: A condit
Accident, n.: A condition in which presence of mind is good, but absence of body is better., Unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
It has always been my
It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
History is a set of li
History is a set of lies agreed upon., Napoleon Bonaparte, French general politician (1769 1821)
Wife: one who is sorry
Wife: one who is sorry she did it, but would undoubtedly do it again., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
I think contraception
I think contraception is disgusting people using each other for pleasure., Joseph Schiedler, Director, ProLife Action League,
Sex education classes
Sex education classes in our public schools are promoting incest., Jimmy Swaggart,
We are totally opposed
We are totally opposed to abortion under any circumstances. We are also opposed to abortifacient drugs and chemicals like the Pill and the IUD, and we are also opposed to all forms of birth control with the exception of natural family planning., Judie Brown, President, American Life Lobby,
Idealism is fine, but
Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality the cost becomes prohibitive., William F. Buckley Jr.,
The very purpose of ex
The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us., Quentin Crisp,
I love children, espec
I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away., Nancy Mitford,
Grub first, then ethic
Grub first, then ethics., Bertolt Brecht, German Communist dramatist (1898 1956)
Work saves us from thr
Work saves us from three great evils: boredom, vice and need., Voltaire, Candide, 1759, French author, humanist, rationalist, satirist (1694 1778)
A cynic is a man who,
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Health food makes me s
Health food makes me sick., Calvin Trillin, US columnist (1935 )
The bonds that links y
The bonds that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each others life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof., Richard Bach,
Moderation is a fatal
Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
Men have no right to p
Men have no right to put the wellbeing of the present generation wholly out of the question. Perhaps the only moral trust with any certainty in our hands is the care of our own time., Edmund Burke, Irish orator, philosopher, politician (1729 1797)
Destiny...is not a mat
Destiny...is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved, William Jennings Bryan, US lawyer, orator, politician (1860 1925)
Communism is like one
Communism is like one big phone company., Lenny Bruce, (1923 1966)
Every government is ru
Every government is run by liars and nothing they say should be believed., I.F. Stone,
In order that people m
In order that people may be happy in their work, these three things are needed: They must be fit for it. They must not do too much of it. And they must have a sense of success in it., John Ruskin, PreRaphaelitism, 1850, English critic, essayist, reformer (1819 1900)
Nothing spoils a confe
Nothing spoils a confession like repentance., Anatole France, French novelist (1844 1924)
Sexual enlightenment i
Sexual enlightenment is justified insofar as girls cannot learn too soon how children do not come into the world., Karl Kraus, Austrian author and journalist (1874 1936)
The most common of all
The most common of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Fame is a vapor popula
Fame is a vapor popularity an accident the only earthly certainty is oblivion., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
If you speak the truth
If you speak the truth, have a foot in the stirrup., Turkish proverb,
Beware of programmers
Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers., Leonard Brandwein,
My pessimism extends t
My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of other pessimists., Jean Rostand, (1894 1977)
Far and away the best
Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing., Theodore Roosevelt, Speech in New York, September 7 1903, 26th president of US (1858 1919)
A critic is a gong at
A critic is a gong at a railroad crossing clanging loudly and vainly as the train goes by., Christopher Morley, US author journalist (1890 1957)
The only thing worse t
The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
Few things are harder
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
Once, during Prohibiti
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water., W.C. Fields,
God must hate common p
God must hate common people, because he made them so common., Philip Wylie,
One of these days, the
One of these days, the people are going to demand peace of the government, and the government is going to have to give it to them., Dwight Eisenhower,
Hollywood is a place w
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars., Fred Allen, US radio comedian (1894 1956)
The English instinctiv
The English instinctively admire any man who has no talent and is modest about it., James Agate,
Blessed is he who has
Blessed is he who has found his work let him ask no other blessedness., Thomas Carlyle, Past and Present, 1843, Scottish author, essayist, historian (1795 1881)
There is one differenc
There is one difference between a tax collector and a taxidermist the taxidermist leaves the hide., Mortimer Caplin,
That all men should be
That all men should be brothers is the dream of people who have no brothers., Charles Chincholles,
What is youth except a
What is youth except a man or a woman before it is ready or fit to be seen?, Evelyn Waugh, English novelist satirist (1903 1966)
We learn from experien
We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
When I can no longer b
When I can no longer bear to think of the victims of broken homes, I begin to think of the victims of intact ones., Peter De Vries,
A chic type, a rough t
A chic type, a rough type, an odd type but never a stereotype, JeanMichel Jarre,
I took a speedreading
I took a speedreading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia., Woody Allen, US movie actor, comedian, director (1935 )
Having a family is lik
Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain., Martin Mull, US comedian and actor (1943 )
Civilization is a limi
Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
Sex: the pleasure is m
Sex: the pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous, and the expense damnable., Lord Chesterfield, (1694 1773)
I find that when I do
I find that when I do not think of myself I do not think at all., Jules Renard, (1864 1910)
Humility is no substit
Humility is no substitute for a good personality., Fran Lebowitz, US writer and humorist (1950 )
God heals, and the doc
God heals, and the doctor takes the fee., Benjamin Franklin, US author, diplomat, inventor, physicist, politician, printer (1706 1790)
If a man does not keep
If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away., Henry David Thoreau, Walden, Conclusion, 1854, US Transcendentalist author (1817 1862)
My heart is pure as th
My heart is pure as the driven slush., Tallulah Bankhead, US movie actress (1903 1968)
England has fortytwo r
England has fortytwo religions and only two sauces., Voltaire, French author, humanist, rationalist, satirist (1694 1778)
New York: where everyo
New York: where everyone mutinies but no one deserts., Harry Hershfield,
Democracy: The substit
Democracy: The substitution of election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
A man must properly pa
A man must properly pay the fiddler. In my case it so happened that a whole symphony orchestra had to be subsidized., John Barrymore, US actor (1882 1942)
Chastity: the most unn
Chastity: the most unnatural of the sexual perversions., Aldous Huxley, English critic novelist (1894 1963)
The average trade book
The average trade book has a shelf life of between milk and yogurt, except for books by any member of the Irving Wallace family they have preservatives., Calvin Trillin, US columnist (1935 )
The strongest man in t
The strongest man in the world is he who stands alone., Henrik Ibsen, An Enemy of the People, 1882, Norwegian dramatist (1828 1906)
I do not care to belon
I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members., Groucho Marx, US comedian with Marx Brothers (1890 1977)
If your sexual fantasi
If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies., Fran Lebowitz, US writer and humorist (1950 )
I envy people who drin
I envy people who drink at least they know what to blame everything on., Oscar Levant, (1906 1972)
The Irish are a fair p
The Irish are a fair people they never speak well of one another., Samuel Johnson, English author, critic, lexicographer (1709 1784)
The basis of optimism
The basis of optimism is sheer terror., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
The country has charms
The country has charms only for those not obliged to stay there., Edouard Manet,
Television is for appe
Television is for appearing on not for looking at., Noel Coward, English actor, dramatist, songwriter (1899 1973)
Children should neithe
Children should neither be seen nor heard from ever again., W.C. Fields,
One of the serious obs
One of the serious obstacles to the improvement of our race is indiscriminate charity., Andrew Carnegie, US businessman philanthropist (1835 1919)
A Sunday school is a p
A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Laugh at yourself firs
Laugh at yourself first, before anyone else can., Elsa Maxwell, September 28 1958,
The history of ideas i
The history of ideas is the history of the grudges of solitary men., E.M. Cioran,
Posterity is as likely
Posterity is as likely to be wrong as anybody else., Heywood Broun, US journalist (1888 1939)
There is nothing wrong
There is nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation., John Ciardi, US poet (1916 1986)
Humanity is not a gift
Humanity is not a gift of nature, it is a spiritual achievement to be earned., Richard Bach,
Hope in reality is the
Hope in reality is the worst of all evils, because it prolongs the torments of man., Friedrich Nietzsche, German philosopher (1844 1900)
Sex: the thing that ta
Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble., John Barrymore, US actor (1882 1942)
Virtue has never been
Virtue has never been as respectable as money., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
Dinner theater is anti
Dinner theater is anticulture., John Simon,
Happiness is the perpe
Happiness is the perpetual possession of being well deceived., Jonathan Swift, Irish essayist, novelist, satirist (1667 1745)
Men show their charact
Men show their characters in nothing more clearly than in what they think laughable., Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, German dramatist, novelist, poet, scientist (1749 1832)
The chief obstacle to
The chief obstacle to the progress of the human race is the human race., Don Marquis, US humorist (1878 1937)
You never realize how
You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony., John Barrymore, US actor (1882 1942)
I am the only person i
I am the only person in the world I should like to know thoroughly., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
...Then anyone who lea
...Then anyone who leaves behind him a written manual, and likewise anyone who receives it, in the belief that such writing will be clear and certain, must be exceedingly simpleminded..., Plato, _Phaedrus_, Greek author philosopher in Athens (427 BC 347 BC)
Brevity is the soul of
Brevity is the soul of lingerie., Dorothy Parker, US author, humorist, poet, wit (1893 1967)
The more one is hated,
The more one is hated, I find, the happier one is., Louis Ferdinand Celine,
Wit makes its own welc
Wit makes its own welcome, and levels all distinctions. No dignity, no learning, no force of character, can make any stand against good wit., Ralph Waldo Emerson, Letters and Social Aims: The Comic, 1876, US essayist poet (1803 1882)
A poet more than thirt
A poet more than thirty years old is simply an overgrown child., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
It is always the best
It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar., Jerome K. Jerome, British humor writer (1859 1927)
No good deed goes unpu
No good deed goes unpunished., Clare Booth Luce, US diplomat, dramatist, journalist, politician (1903 1987)
The husband who wants
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open., Groucho Marx, US comedian with Marx Brothers (1890 1977)
Bigamy is having one w
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same, Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
Start every day with a
Start every day with a smile and get it over with., William Claude Dunkenfield (W. C. Fields),
California is the only
California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death., William Claude Dunkenfield (W. C. Fields),
It may not be that the
It may not be that the race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong but that is the way to bet., Damon Runyon,
Love is the triumph of
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Wit is so shining a qu
Wit is so shining a quality that everybody admires it most people aim at it, all people fear it, and few love it unless in themselves., Lord Chesterfield, letter to his godson, December 18 1765, (1694 1773)
Only dull people are b
Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
You can fool too many
You can fool too many of the people too much of the time., James Thurber, US author, cartoonist, humorist, satirist (1894 1961)
Golf is a good walk sp
Golf is a good walk spoiled., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
I have given up readin
I have given up reading books I find it takes my mind off myself., Oscar Levant, (1906 1972)
Philosophy teaches us
Philosophy teaches us to bear with equanimity the misfortunes of others., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
Democracy is the theor
Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Virtue is insufficient
Virtue is insufficient temptation., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
Man is distinguished f
Man is distinguished from all other creatures by the faculty of laughter., Joseph Addison, The Spectator, September 26 1712, English essayist, poet, politician (1672 1719)
A government is the on
A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top., James Reston, (1909 )
The only really happy
The only really happy folk are married women and single men., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
It is human nature to
It is human nature to think wisely and act foolishly., Anatole France, French novelist (1844 1924)
Abstract art: a produc
Abstract art: a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered., Al Capp, US cartoonist (1909 1979)
Understand that legal
Understand that legal and illegal are political, and often arbitrary, categorizations use and abuse are medical, or clinical, distinctions., Abbie Hoffman, Steal This Urine Test, US radical activist (1936 1989)
I would like to take y
I would like to take you seriously but to do so would affront your intelligence., William F. Buckley Jr.,
The pure and simple tr
The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
My theology, briefly,
My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated, but not signed., Christopher Morley, US author journalist (1890 1957)
My father hated radio
My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too., Peter De Vries,
An optimist is a man w
An optimist is a man who has never had much experience., Don Marquis, US humorist (1878 1937)
Be ashamed to die unti
Be ashamed to die until you have won some victory for humanity., Horace Mann, address at Antioch College, 1859, US educator (1796 1859)
Man is a clever animal
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile., Albert Schweitzer, French philosopher physician (1875 1965)
The world began when I
The world began when I was born and the world is mine to win, Badger Clark,
The way to fight a wom
The way to fight a woman is with your hat. Grab it and run., John Barrymore, US actor (1882 1942)
Brigands demand your m
Brigands demand your money or your life women require both., Nicholas Murray Butler,
Know thyself? A maxim
Know thyself? A maxim as pernicious as it is ugly. Whoever observes himself arrests his own development. A caterpillar who wanted to know itself well would never become a butterfly., Andre Gide, French critic, essayist, novelist (1869 1951)
Our houses are such un
Our houses are such unwieldy property that we are often imprisoned rather than housed in them., Henry David Thoreau, Walden: Economy, 1854, US Transcendentalist author (1817 1862)
Principles have no rea
Principles have no real force except when one is well fed., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
I must decline your in
I must decline your invitation owing to a subsequent engagement., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
If you are an author a
If you are an author and give one of your books to a member of the upper class, you must never expect him to read it., Paul Fussell,
My only aversion to vi
My only aversion to vice, is the price., Victor Buono,
Even paranoids have re
Even paranoids have real enemies., Delmore Schwartz,
When an opera star sin
When an opera star sings her head off, she usually improves her appearance., Victor Borge, US (Danishborn) comedian pianist (1909 2000)
Equality may perhaps b
Equality may perhaps be a right, but no power on earth can ever turn it into a fact., Honore de Balzac, French realist novelist (1799 1850)
If God created us in h
If God created us in his own image, we have more than reciprocated., Voltaire, French author, humanist, rationalist, satirist (1694 1778)
It does not matter muc
It does not matter much what a man hates provided he hates something., Samuel Butler, English composer, novelist, satiric author (1835 1902)
An ounce of hypocrisy
An ounce of hypocrisy is worth a pound of ambition., Michael Korda,
Journalism is the abil
Journalism is the ability to meet the challenge of filling space., Rebecca West, Irish critic, journalist, novelist (1892 1983)
The amount of noise wh
The amount of noise which anyone can bear undisturbed stands in inverse proportion to his mental capacity., Arthur Schopenhauer, German philosopher (1788 1860)
It is better to have a
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
In the halls of justic
In the halls of justice, the only justice is in the halls., Lenny Bruce, (1923 1966)
I find television very
I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book., Groucho Marx, US comedian with Marx Brothers (1890 1977)
If I had my way, any m
If I had my way, any man guilty of golf would be ineligible for any office of trust in the United States., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Parades should be cla
Parades should be classed as a nuisance and participants should be subject to a term in prison., Will Rogers, US humorist showman (1879 1935)
Nothing is as certain
Nothing is as certain as that the vices of leisure are gotten rid of by being busy., Seneca, Moral Letters to Lucilius, 64 A.D., Roman dramatist, philosopher, politician (5 BC 65 AD)
Religion is a monument
Religion is a monumental chapter in the history of human egotism., William James, US Pragmatist philosopher psychologist (1842 1910)
To succeed in the worl
To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid you must also be wellmannered., Voltaire, French author, humanist, rationalist, satirist (1694 1778)
Few people think more
Few people think more than two or three times a year I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
If a thing is worth do
If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly., G.K. Chesterton,
For certain people aft
For certain people after 50 litigation takes the place of sex., Gore Vidal, US author dramatist (1925 )
He who has never envie
He who has never envied the vegetable has missed the human drama., E.M. Cioran,
Those who cannot remem
Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it., George Santayana, The Life of Reason, Volume 1 1905, US (Spanishborn) philosopher (1863 1952)
We can draw lessons fr
We can draw lessons from the past, but we cannot live in it., Lyndon B. Johnson, December 13 1963, 36th president of US (1908 1973)
Health is worth more t
Health is worth more than learning., Thomas Jefferson, letter to his cousin John Garland Jefferson, June 11 1790, 3rd president of US (1743 1826)
Abortion is advocated
Abortion is advocated only by persons who have themselves been born., Ronald Reagan, 40th president of US (1911 2004)
Health is not valued t
Health is not valued till sickness comes., Dr. Thomas Fuller, Gnomologia, 1732, British physician (1654 1734)
Man is the artificer o
Man is the artificer of his own happiness., Henry David Thoreau, Journal, January 21 1838, US Transcendentalist author (1817 1862)
The happiest is the pe
The happiest is the person who suffers the least pain the most miserable who enjoys the least pleasure., Jean Jacques Rousseau, Emile, 1762, French political philosopher (1712 1778)
Friendship make prospe
Friendship make prosperity more shining and lessens adversity by dividing and sharing it., Cicero, On Friendship, 44 B.C., Roman author, orator, politician (106 BC 43 BC)
Man seeketh in society
Man seeketh in society comfort, use and protection., Sir Francis Bacon, The Advancement of Learning, 1605, English author, courtier, philosopher (1561 1626)
Tell me what you eat,
Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you what you are., Anthelme BrillatSavarin, The Physiology of Taste, 1825, French gourmet lawyer (1755 1826)
Be not the first by wh
Be not the first by whom the new are tried, Nor yet the last to lay the old aside., Alexander Pope, An Essay on Criticism, 1711, English poet satirist (1688 1744)
The knowledge of the w
The knowledge of the w
A witty saying proves
A witty saying proves nothing., Voltaire, French author, humanist, rationalist, satirist (1694 1778)
Men are wise in propor
Men are wise in proportion, not to their experience, but to their capacity for experience., James Boswell, Life of Samuel Johnson, 1791, Scottish author biographer (1740 1795)
Goodness is the only i
Goodness is the only investment that never fails., Henry David Thoreau, Walden: Higher Laws, 1854, US Transcendentalist author (1817 1862)
A people that values i
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both., Dwight D. Eisenhower, Inaugural Address, January 20 1953, US general Republican politician (1890 1969)
Next in importance to
Next in importance to freedom and justice is popular education, without which neither freedom nor justice can be permanently maintained., James A. Garfield, July 12 1880, US general politician (1831 1881)
Annual income twenty p
Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pound ought and six, result misery., Charles Dickens, David Copperfield, 1849, English novelist (1812 1870)
Bacchus hath drowned m
Bacchus hath drowned more men than Neptune., Dr. Thomas Fuller, Gnomologia, 1732, British physician (1654 1734)
We need men who can dr
We need men who can dream of things that never were., John F. Kennedy, speech in Dublin, Ireland, June 28 1963, US Democratic politician (1917 1963)
A wise man can see mor
A wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can from a mountain top ., Unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
The discovery of a new
The discovery of a new dish does more for human happiness than the discovery of a new star., Anthelme BrillatSavarin, Physiologie du Gout, 1825, French gourmet lawyer (1755 1826)
Good company and good
Good company and good discourse are the very sinews of virtue., Izaak Walton, The Compleat Angler, 1653, English biographer fishing author (1593 1683)
Once a government is c
Once a government is committed to the principle of silencing the voice of opposition, it has only one way to go, and that is down the path of increasingly repressive measures, until it becomes a source of terror to all its citizens and creates a country where everyone lives in fear., Harry S Truman, August 8 1950, 33rd president of US (1884 1972)
The moment we begin to
The moment we begin to fear the opinions of others and hesitate to tell the truth that is in us, and from motives of policy are silent when we should speak, the divine floods of light and life no longer flow into our souls., Elizabeth Cady Stanton, 1890, US suffragist (1815 1902)
A man builds a fine ho
A man builds a fine house and now he has a master, and a task for life he is to furnish, watch, show it, and keep it in repair, the rest of his days., Ralph Waldo Emerson, Society and Solitude: Works and Days, 1870, US essayist poet (1803 1882)
Houses are built to li
Houses are built to live in, not to look on therefore, let use be preferred before uniformity, except where both may be had., Sir Francis Bacon, Essays: Of Building, 1623, English author, courtier, philosopher (1561 1626)
How many a man has dat
How many a man has dated a new era in his life from the reading of a book., Henry David Thoreau, Walden: Reading, 1854, US Transcendentalist author (1817 1862)
In the highest civiliz
In the highest civilization, the book is still the highest delight. He who has once known its satisfactions is provided with a resource against calamity., Ralph Waldo Emerson, Letters and Social Aims: Quotation and Originality, 1876, US essayist poet (1803 1882)
Books are the quietest
Books are the quietest and most constant of friends they are the most accessible and wisest of counsellors, and the most patient of teachers., Charles W. Eliot, The Happy Life, 1896, US educator (1834 1926)
Many books require no
Many books require no thought from those who read them, and for a very simple reason they made no such demand upon those who wrote them., Charles Caleb Colton, Lacon, 1820, (1780 1832)
Exercise ferments the
Exercise ferments the humors, casts them into their proper channels, throws off redundancies, and helps nature in those secret distributions, without which the body cannot subsist in its vigor, nor the soul act with cheerfulness., Joseph Addison, The Spectator, July 12 1711, English essayist, poet, politician (1672 1719)
Every artist was first
Every artist was first an amateur., Ralph Waldo Emerson, Letters and Social Aims: Progress of Culture, 1876, US essayist poet (1803 1882)
Every artist dips his
Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures., Henry Ward Beecher, Proverbs from Plymouth Pulpit, 1887, US abolitionist clergyman (1813 1887)
It is an interesting q
It is an interesting question how far men would retain their relative rank if they were divested of their clothes., Henry David Thoreau, Walden, 1854, US Transcendentalist author (1817 1862)
Ambition often puts me
Ambition often puts men upon doing the meanest offices so climbing is performed in the same posture with creeping., Jonathan Swift, Miscellanies, 1711, Irish essayist, novelist, satirist (1667 1745)
A vacuum is a hell of
A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with., Tennessee Williams, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (1955), US dramatist (1911 1983)
America is a mistake,
America is a mistake, a giant mistake., Sigmund Freud, Austrian psychologist (1856 1939)
Most people would succ
Most people would succeed in small things if they were not troubled with great ambitions., Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Driftwood Table Talk, 1857, US poet (1807 1882)
Hitch your wagon to a
Hitch your wagon to a star., Ralph Waldo Emerson, American Civilization, The Atlantic Monthly, 1862, US essayist poet (1803 1882)
It is better to offer
It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one., George Washington, letter to his niece Harriet Washington, October 30 1791, First president of US (1732 1799)
To me, old age is alwa
To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am., Bernard M. Baruch, 1940, US businessman politician (1870 1965)
You can tell the ideal
You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements., Norman Douglas, South Wind, 1917,
Plans are only good in
Plans are only good intentions unless they immediately degenerate into hard work., Peter Drucker,
A stitch in time would
A stitch in time would have confused Einstein., Unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
It is curious that phy
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
To love what you do an
To love what you do and feel that it matters how could anything be more fun?, Katharine Graham,
Each handicap is like
Each handicap is like a hurdle in a steeplechase, and when you ride up to it, if you throw your heart over, the horse will go along, too., Lawrence Bixby,
Among those whom I lik
Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh., W. H. Auden, US (Englishborn) critic poet (1907 1973)
A single death is a tr
A single death is a tragedy a million deaths is a statistic., Joseph Stalin, Georgian Soviet politician (1879 1953)
He deserves Paradise w
He deserves Paradise who makes his companions laugh., Koran,
There is only one succ
There is only one success to be able to spend your life in your own way., Christopher Morley, US author journalist (1890 1957)
I am in earnest I will
I am in earnest I will not equivocate I will not excuse I will not retreat a single inch and I will be heard., William Lloyd Garrison, US abolitionist editor (1805 1879)
Opportunity is missed
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work., Thomas A. Edison, US inventor (1847 1931)
The greatest obstacle
The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance it is the illusion of knowledge., Daniel J. Boorstin, US historian (1914 )
The greatest discovery
The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind., William James, US Pragmatist philosopher psychologist (1842 1910)
If you are distressed
If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it and this you have the power to revoke at any moment., Marcus Aurelius Antoninus, Roman Emperor, A.D. 161180 (121 AD 180 AD)
A rumor without a leg
A rumor without a leg to stand on will get around some other way., John Tudor,
My philosophy is that
My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment., Oprah Winfrey, US actress television talk show host (1954 )
Minds, like bodies, wi
Minds, like bodies, will often fall into a pimpled, illconditioned state from mere excess of comfort., Charles Dickens, English novelist (1812 1870)
Laziness is nothing mo
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired., Jules Renard, (1864 1910)
Not merely an absence
Not merely an absence of noise, Real Silence begins when a reasonable being withdraws from the noise in order to find peace and order in his inner sanctuary., Peter Minard,
True silence is the re
True silence is the rest of the mind it is to the spirit what sleep is to the body, nourishment and refreshment., William Penn, English religious leader and colonist (1644 1718)
Many persons have a wr
Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through selfgratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose., Helen Keller, US blind deaf educator (1880 1968)
Success is not the res
Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire., Reggie Leach,
Every creator painfull
Every creator painfully experiences the chasm between his inner vision and its ultimate expression., Isaac Bashevis Singer, US (Polishborn) Jewish author (1904 1991)
Creativity represents
Creativity represents a miraculous coming together of the uninhibited energy of the child with its apparent opposite and enemy, the sense of order imposed on the disciplined adult intelligence., Norman Podhoretz,
Creativity can solve a
Creativity can solve almost any problem. The creative act, the defeat of habit by originality, overcomes everything., George Lois,
A psychiatrist is a fe
A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing., Joey Adams,
The thing always happe
The thing always happens that you really believe in and the belief in a thing makes it happen., Frank Lloyd Wright, US architect (1869 1959)
You can have anything
You can have anything you want if you want it desperately enough. You must want it with an inner exuberance that erupts through the skin and joins the energy that created the world., Sheila Graham,
Take what you can use
Take what you can use and let the rest go by., Ken Kesey, US novelist (1935 )
There is no security o
There is no security on this earth, there is only opportunity., General Douglas MacArthur, US WWII general war hero (1880 1964)
Men for the sake of ge
Men for the sake of getting a living forget to live., Margaret Fuller, US Transcendentalist author editor (1810 1850)
Far better it is to da
Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat., Theodore Roosevelt, 26th president of US (1858 1919)
The truth is that all
The truth is that all of us attain the greatest success and happiness possible in this life whenever we use our native capacities to their greatest extent., Dr. Smiley Blanton,
If the point is sharp,
If the point is sharp, and the arrow is swift, it can pierce through the dust no matter how thick., Bob Dylan, US singer songwriter (1941 )
It is your work in lif
It is your work in life that is the ultimate seduction., Pablo Picasso, Spanish Cubist painter (1881 1973)
For one human being to
For one human being to love another that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation., Rainer Maria Rilke, German lyric poet (1875 1926)
The heights by great m
The heights by great men reached and kept were not attained by sudden flight, but they while their companions slept, were toiling upward in the night., Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, US poet (1807 1882)
When the eagles are si
When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber., Sir Winston Churchill, British politician (1874 1965)
A national debt, if it
A national debt, if it is not excessive, will be to us a national blessing., Alexander Hamilton, US (Scottishborn) lawyer politician (1755 1804)
The only man who is re
The only man who is really free is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse., Jules Renard, (1864 1910)
If you limit your choi
If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is a compromise., Robert Fritz,
Nothing contributes so
Nothing contributes so much to tranquilizing the mind as a steady purpose a point on which the soul may fix its intellectual eye., Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley, English novelist (1797 1851)
Strong lives are motiv
Strong lives are motivated by dynamic purposes., Kenneth Hildebrand,
The only true happine
The only true happiness comes from squandering ourselves for a purpose., William Cowper, English poet translator (1731 1800)
Poor is the man whose
Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another., Madonna, US actress rock singer (1958 )
When love and skill wo
When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece., John Ruskin, English critic, essayist, reformer (1819 1900)
The ancestor of every
The ancestor of every action is a thought., Ralph Waldo Emerson, US essayist poet (1803 1882)
A myth is a religion i
A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes., James Feibleman,
Everything I did in my
Everything I did in my life that was worthwhile I caught hell for., Earl Warren, US jurist politician (1891 1974)
Every moment is a gold
Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such., Henry Miller, US author (1891 1980)
He not busy being born
He not busy being born is busy dying., Bob Dylan, US singer songwriter (1941 )
I owe my success to ha
I owe my success to having listened respectfully to the very best advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite., G. K. Chesterton, English author mystery novelist (1874 1936)
Discouragement is simp
Discouragement is simply the despair of wounded selflove., Francois de Fenelon, French archbishop author (1651 1715)
Hail to you gods, on t
Hail to you gods, on that day of the great reckoning. Behold me, I have come to you, without sin, without guilt, without evil, without a witness against me, without one whom I have wronged. I am one pure of mouth, pure of hands., The Book of the Dead, The Address to the Gods, 17001000 B.C.,
Fear is that little da
Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed., Michael Pritchard,
A motion to adjourn is
A motion to adjourn is always in order., Robert Heinlein, Lazarus Long: Time Enough For Love, US science fiction author (1907 1988)
Our greatest pretenses
Our greatest pretenses are built up not to hide the evil and the ugly in us, but our emptiness. The hardest thing to hide is something that is not there., Eric Hoffer, (1902 1983)
Fear is the main sourc
Fear is the main source of superstition, and one of the main sources of cruelty. To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom., Bertrand Russell, Unpopular Essays (1950), Outline of Intellectual Rubbish, British author, mathematician, philosopher (1872 1970)
We act as though comfo
We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all that we need to make us happy is something to be enthusiastic about., Charles Kingsley, English Anglican clergyman novelist (1819 1875)
It is hard to fight an
It is hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head., Sally Kempton,
I might repeat to myse
I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound if I can remember any of the damn things., Dorothy Parker, US author, humorist, poet, wit (1893 1967)
Men are born to succee
Men are born to succeed, not fail., Henry David Thoreau, US Transcendentalist author (1817 1862)
Where there is hatred,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love. Where there is injury, pardon. Where there is doubt, faith., Saint Francis of Assisi, Italian monk saint (1181 1226)
Every sweet has its so
Every sweet has its sour every evil its good., Ralph Waldo Emerson, US essayist poet (1803 1882)
Desire creates the pow
Desire creates the power., Raymond Holliwell,
Give what you have. To
Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to think., Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, US poet (1807 1882)
Eighty percent of succ
Eighty percent of success is showing up., Woody Allen, US movie actor, comedian, director (1935 )
We go where our vision
We go where our vision is., Joseph Murphy,
We are what we repeate
We are what we repeatedly do., Aristotle, Greek critic, philosopher, physicist, zoologist (384 BC 322 BC)
We forfeit threefourth
We forfeit threefourths of ourselves in order to be like other people., Arthur Schopenhauer, German philosopher (1788 1860)
A man thinks that by m
A man thinks that by mouthing hard words he understands hard things., Herman Melville, US novelist sailor (1819 1891)
J.F.K.The Man and the
J.F.K.The Man and the Airport, Unknown, Suggested book title, Quotations by unknown authors )
When you have loved as
When you have loved as she has loved, you grow old beautifully., W. Somerset Maugham, English dramatist novelist (1874 1965)
Age does not protect y
Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age., Jeanne Moreau,
To love deeply in one
To love deeply in one direction makes us more loving in all others., AnneSophie Swetchine,
Tears may be dried up,
Tears may be dried up, but the heart never., Marguerite de Valois,
One word frees us of a
One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love., Sophocles, Greek tragic dramatist (496 BC 406 BC)
Love is an act of endl
Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit., Peter Ustinov, English actor author (1921 2004)
The heart has its reas
The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of., Blaise Pascal, French mathematician, physicist (1623 1662)
Give all to love obey
Give all to love obey thy heart., Ralph Waldo Emerson, US essayist poet (1803 1882)
To love is to receive
To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven., Karen Sunde,
A man cannot be too ca
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies., Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray, 1891, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
Learning is not compul
Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival., W. Edwards Deming, US business advisor author (1900 1993)
As men, we are all equ
As men, we are all equal in the presence of death., Publilius Syrus, (~100 BC)
We simply rob ourselve
We simply rob ourselves when we make presents to the dead., Publilius Syrus, (~100 BC)
When we lose one we lo
When we lose one we love, our bitterest tears are called forth by the memory of hours when we loved not enough., Maurice Maeterlinck, Wisdom and Destiny, 1898, Belgian dramatist, essayist, poet (1862 1949)
While you are not able
While you are not able to serve men, how can you serve spirits [of the dead]?...While you do not know life, how can you know about death?, Confucius, The Confucian Analects, bk. 11:11, Chinese philosopher reformer (551 BC 479 BC)
Be peaceful, be courte
Be peaceful, be courteous, obey the law, respect everyone but if someone puts his hand on you, send him to the cemetery., Malcolm X, Malcolm X Speaks, 1965, US black nationalist leader (1925 1965)
The future belongs to
The future belongs to those who prepare for it today., Malcolm X, US black nationalist leader (1925 1965)
Providence has hidden
Providence has hidden a charm in difficult undertakings which is appreciated only by those who dare to grapple with them., AnneSophie Swetchine, The Writings of Madame Swetchine, 1869,
The minute one utters
The minute one utters a certainty, the opposite comes to mind., May Sarton, Mrs. Stevens Hears the Mermaids Singing, 1965,
The free expression of
The free expression of the hopes and aspirations of a people is the greatest and only safety in a sane society., Emma Goldman, Living My Life, 1931, US (Lithuanianborn) anarchist (1869 1940)
I begin to think, that
I begin to think, that a calm is not desirable in any situation in life....Man was made for action and for bustle too, I believe., Abigail Adams, letter to her sister, Mary Smith Cranch, 1784, US wife of John Adams 1764 (1744 1818)
The trouble in corpora
The trouble in corporate America is that too many people with too much power live in a box (their home), then travel the same road every day to another box (their office)., Faith Popcorn, The Popcorn Report, 1991,
The Argument from Inti
The Argument from Intimidation is a confession of intellectual impotence., Ayn Rand, The Virtue of Selfishness, 1964, US (Russianborn) novelist (1905 1982)
A bully is not reasona
A bully is not reasonable he is persuaded only by threats., Marie De France, 12th Century,
To repeat what others
To repeat what others have said, requires education to challenge it, requires brains., Mary Pettibone Poole, A Glass Eye at a Keyhole, 1938,
He felt about books as
He felt about books as doctors feel about medicines, or managers about plays cynical, but hopeful., Dame Rose Macaulay, Crewe Train, 1926, English novelist (1881 1958)
Just the knowledge tha
Just the knowledge that a good book is awaiting one at the end of a long day makes that day happier., Kathleen Norris, Hands Full of Living, 1931,
The world is round and
The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be only the beginning., Ivy Baker Priest, in Parade, 1958,
Nothing, of course, be
Nothing, of course, begins at the time you think it did., Lillian Hellman, An Unfinished Woman, 1969, US dramatist (1905 1984)
A little inaccuracy so
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation., Saki, The Square Egg, 1924, British (Burmanborn) short story author (1870 1916)
It is only the first s
It is only the first step that is difficult., Marie De VichyChaconne, Marquise Du Defend, letter to Defend, 1763,
Think of all the beaut
Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy., Anne Frank, Diary of a Young Girl, 1952, German Jewish diarist (1929 1945)
Thus, in a real sense,
Thus, in a real sense, I am constantly writing autobiography, but I have to turn it into fiction in order to give it credibility., Katherine Paterson, The Spying Heart, 1989,
The scornful nostril a
The scornful nostril and the high head gather not the odors that lie on the track of truth., George Eliot, Felix Holt, the Radical, 1866, English novelist (1819 1880)
I need no warrant for
I need no warrant for being, and no word of sanction upon my being. I am the warrant and the sanction., Ayn Rand, Anthem, 1946, US (Russianborn) novelist (1905 1982)
The sweat of hard work
The sweat of hard work is not to be displayed. It is much more graceful to appear favored by the gods., Maxine Hong Kingston, The Woman Warrior, 1976,
Science may have found
Science may have found a cure for most evils but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all the apathy of human beings., Helen Keller, My Religion, 1927, US blind deaf educator (1880 1968)
A lifetime is more tha
A lifetime is more than sufficiently long for people to get what there is of it wrong., Unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
We call them dumb anim
We call them dumb animals, and so they are, for they cannot tell us how they feel, but they do not suffer less because they have no words., Anna Sewell, Black Beauty, 1877, British author (1820 1878)
The animals of the pla
The animals of the planet are in desperate peril... Without free animal life I believe we will lose the spiritual equivalent of oxygen., Alice Walker, Living by the Word, 1988, US novelist (1944 )
Anger makes dull men w
Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor., Elizabeth I, in Francis Bacon, Apophthegms, 1625, English queen 15581603 (1533 1603)
When the habitually ev
When the habitually eventempered suddenly fly into a passion, that explosion is apt to be more impressive than the outburst of the most violent amongst us., Margery Allingham, Death of a Ghost, 1934,
A life spent making mi
A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
Anger is a signal, and
Anger is a signal, and one worth listening to., Harriet Lerner, The Dance of Anger, 1985,
What is most beautiful
What is most beautiful in virile men is something feminine what is most beautiful in feminine women is something masculine., Susan Sontag, Against Interpretation, 1966, US author critic (1933 )
Male and female repres
Male and female represent the two sides of the great radical dualism. But in fact they are perpetually passing into one another. Fluid hardens to solid, solid rushes to fluid. There is no wholly masculine man, no purely feminine woman., Margaret Fuller, Woman in the Nineteenth Century, 1845, US Transcendentalist author editor (1810 1850)
She had learned the se
She had learned the selfdeprecating ways of the woman who does not want to be thought hard and grasping, but her artifices could not always cover the nakedness of her need to excel., Faith Sullivan, The Cape Ann, 1988,
To gain that which is
To gain that which is worth having, it may be necessary to lose everything else., Burnadette Devlin, The Price of My Soul, 1969,
My passions were all g
My passions were all gathered together like fingers that made a fist. Drive is considered aggression today I knew it then as purpose., Bette Davis, The Lonely Life, 1962, US movie actress (1908 1989)
How wonderful it is th
How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world., Anne Frank, Diary of a Young Girl, 1952, German Jewish diarist (1929 1945)
A liberal is a man too
A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel., Robert Frost, US poet (1874 1963)
To be alone is to be d
To be alone is to be different, to be different is to be alone., Suzanne Gordon, Lonely in America, 1976,
Of all the selffulfill
Of all the selffulfilling prophecies in our culture, the assumption that aging means decline and poor health is probably the deadliest., Marilyn Ferguson, The Aquarian Conspiracy, 1980,
Though it sounds absur
Though it sounds absurd, it is true to say I felt younger at sixty than I felt at twenty., Ellen Glasgow, The Woman Within, 1954, US novelist (1873 1945)
I have enjoyed greatly
I have enjoyed greatly the second blooming that comes when you finish the life of the emotions and of personal relations and suddenly find at the age of fifty, say that a whole new life has opened before you, filled with things you can think about, study, or read about...It is as if a fresh sap of ideas and thoughts was rising in you., Agatha Christie, An Autobiography, 1977, English mystery author (1890 1976)
Let me advise thee not
Let me advise thee not to talk of thyself as being old. There is something in Mind Cure, after all, and if thee continually talks of thyself as being old, thee may perhaps bring on some of the infirmities of age. At least I would not risk it if I were thee., Hannah Whitall Smith, 1907,
A jury consists of twe
A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer., Robert Frost, (attributed), US poet (1874 1963)
We did not change as w
We did not change as we grew older we just became more clearly ourselves., Lynn Hall, Where Have All the Tigers Gone?, 1989,
It is not advisable, J
It is not advisable, James, to venture unsolicited opinions. You should spare yourself the embarrassing discovery of their exact value to your listener., Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged, 1957, US (Russianborn) novelist (1905 1982)
Please give me some go
Please give me some good advice in your next letter. I promise not to follow it., Edna St. Vincent Millay, Letters, 1952, US poet (1892 1950)
The true secret of giv
The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it, to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not, and never persist in trying to set people right., Hannah Whitall Smith, 1902,
It is very difficult t
It is very difficult to live among people you love and hold back from offering them advice., Anne Tyler, Celestial Navigation, 1974, US novelist (1941 )
A judge is a law stude
A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
I have long since come
I have long since come to believe that people never mean half of what they say, and that it is best to disregard their talk and judge only their actions., Dorothy Day, The Long Loneliness, 1952, US editor reformer (1897 1980)
It is in vain to say h
It is in vain to say human beings ought to be satisfied with tranquillity: they must have action and they will make it if they cannot find it., Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre, 1847, English novelist (1816 1855)
A Hospital is no place
A Hospital is no place to be sick., Samuel Goldwyn, US (Polishborn) movie producer (1882 1974)
Curiosity killed the c
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect., Steven Wright, US comedian and actor (1955 )
We have too many high
We have too many high sounding words, and too few actions that correspond with them., Abigail Adams, letter to John Adams, 1774, US wife of John Adams 1764 (1744 1818)
No good deed goes unpu
No good deed goes unpunished., Clare Booth Luce, in H. Faber, The Book of Laws, 1980, US diplomat, dramatist, journalist, politician (1903 1987)
One never notices what
One never notices what has been done one can only see what remains to be done., Marie Curie, letter to her brother, 1894, French (Polishborn) chemist physicist (1867 1934)
What you will do matte
What you will do matters. All you need is to do it., Judy Grahn, Another Mother Tongue: Gay Words, Gay Worlds, 1984,
Where you used to be,
Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling into at night. I miss you like hell., Edna St. Vincent Millay, Letters, 1952, US poet (1892 1950)
The true traveler is h
The true traveler is he who goes on foot, and even then, he sits down a lot of the time., Colette, Paris From My Window, 1944, French novelist (1873 1954)
Total absence of humor
Total absence of humor renders life impossible., Colette, Chance Acquaintances, 1952, French novelist (1873 1954)
Humility is no substit
Humility is no substitute for a good personality., Fran Lebowitz, Metropolitan Life, 1978, US writer and humorist (1950 )
It is wise to apply th
It is wise to apply the oil of refined politeness to the mechanisms of friendship., Colette, The Pure and the Impure, 1932, French novelist (1873 1954)
You will do foolish th
You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm., Colette, in New York WorldTelegram and Sun, 1961, French novelist (1873 1954)
In every power, of whi
In every power, of which taste is the foundation, excellence is pretty fairly divided between the sexes., Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey, 1818, English novelist (1775 1817)
It has been my experie
It has been my experience that one cannot, in any shape or form, depend on human relations for lasting reward. It is only work that truly satisfies., Bette Davis, The Lonely Life, 1962, US movie actress (1908 1989)
I am doomed to an eter
I am doomed to an eternity of compulsive work. No set goal achieved satisfies. Success only breeds a new goal. The golden apple devoured has seeds. It is endless., Bette Davis, The Lonely Life, 1962, US movie actress (1908 1989)
We only do well the th
We only do well the things we like doing., Colette, Prisons and Paradise, 1932, French novelist (1873 1954)
The secret of joy in w
The secret of joy in work is contained in one word excellence. To know how to do something well is to enjoy it., Pearl Buck, The Joy of Children, 1964, US novelist in China (1892 1973)
A good novel tells us
A good novel tells us the truth about its hero but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author., G. K. Chesterton, English author mystery novelist (1874 1936)
It is bitter to lose a
It is bitter to lose a friend to evil, before one loses him to death., Mary Renault, The Praise Singer, 1978,
Evil when we are in it
Evil when we are in its power is not felt as evil but as a necessity, or even a duty., Simone Weil, Gravity and Grace, 1947, French social philosopher (1909 1943)
Evil is obvious only i
Evil is obvious only in retrospect., Gloria Steinem, Outrageous Acts and Everyday Rebellions, 1983, US feminist (1934 )
The spread of evil is
The spread of evil is the symptom of a vacuum. whenever evil wins, it is only by default: by the moral failure of those who evade the fact that there can be no compromise on basic principles., Ayn Rand, Capitalism: The Unknown Ideal, 1966, US (Russianborn) novelist (1905 1982)
The evil of the world
The evil of the world is made possible by nothing but the sanction you give it., Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged, 1957, US (Russianborn) novelist (1905 1982)
Fear not those who arg
Fear not those who argue but those who dodge., Marie Ebner von Eschenbach, Aphorisms, 1905,
There are new words no
There are new words now that excuse everybody. Give me the good old days of heroes and villains. the people you can bravo or hiss. There was a truth to them that all the slick credulity of today cannot touch., Bette Davis, The Lonely Life, 1962, US movie actress (1908 1989)
To fulfill a dream, to
To fulfill a dream, to be allowed to sweat over lonely labor, to be given the chance to create, is the meat and potatoes of life. The money is the gravy. As everyone else, I love to dunk my crust in it. But alone, it is not a diet designed to keep body and soul together., Bette Davis, The Lonely Life, 1962, US movie actress (1908 1989)
It has all been very i
It has all been very interesting., Lady Mary Wortley Montagu, last words, 1762, English letter author poet (1689 1762)
A good listener is not
A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something., Wilson Mizner, US screenwriter (1876 1933)
Jealousy is all the fu
Jealousy is all the fun you think they had., Erica Jong, Fear of Flying, 1973,
Courage is the price t
Courage is the price that Life exacts for granting peace., Amelia Earhart, Courage, 1927, US aviator (1897 1937)
Language exerts hidden
Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides., Rita Mae Brown, Starting From Scratch, 1988, US author and social activist )
If something anticipat
If something anticipated arrives too late it finds us numb, wrung out from waiting, and we feel nothing at all. The best things arrive on time., Dorothy Gilman, A New Kind of Country, 1978,
We cannot really love
We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh., Agnes Repplier, Americans and Others, 1912, US essayist (1855 1950)
There are some things
There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm., Willa Cather, The Song of the Lark, 1915, US novelist (1873 1947)
I believe in God, only
I believe in God, only I spell it Nature., Frank Lloyd Wright, US architect (1869 1959)
An idea is salvation b
An idea is salvation by imagination., Frank Lloyd Wright, US architect (1869 1959)
Noble life demands a n
Noble life demands a noble architecture for noble uses of noble men. Lack of culture means what it has always meant: ignoble civilization and therefore imminent downfall., Frank Lloyd Wright, US architect (1869 1959)
Give me the luxuries o
Give me the luxuries of life and I will willingly do without the necessities., Frank Lloyd Wright, quoted in his obituary, April 9 1959, US architect (1869 1959)
The longer I live the
The longer I live the
If a writer wrote mere
If a writer wrote merely for his time, I would have to break my pen and throw it away., Victor Hugo, French dramatist, novelist, poet (1802 1885)
There was a definite p
There was a definite process by which one made people into friends, and it involved talking to them and listening to them for hours at a time., Rebecca West, Irish critic, journalist, novelist (1892 1983)
Why do strong arms fat
Why do strong arms fatigue themselves with frivolous dumbbells? To dig a vineyard is worthier exercise for men., Marcus Valerius Martialis, (40 AD 103 AD)
Nothing ever goes away
Nothing ever goes away., Barry Commoner, US biologist educator (1917 )
We distinguish the exc
We distinguish the excellent man from the common man by saying that the former is the one who makes great demands upon himself, and the latter who makes no demands on himself., Jose Ortega y Gasset, Spanish philosopher politician (1883 1955)
We are never deceived
We are never deceived we deceive ourselves., Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, German dramatist, novelist, poet, scientist (1749 1832)
Curious things, habits
Curious things, habits. People themselves never knew they had them., Agatha Christie, English mystery author (1890 1976)
Learning to love yours
Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all., Michael Masser and Linda Creed,
A good marriage is one
A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love., Pearl Buck, US novelist in China (1892 1973)
A country can be judge
A country can be judged by the quality of its proverbs., German Proverb,
A compliment is a gift
A compliment is a gift, not to be thrown away carelessly, unless you want to hurt the giver., Eleanor Hamilton,
I truly feel that ther
I truly feel that there are as many ways of loving as there are people in the world and as there are days in the life of those people., Mary S. Calderone,
[Common sense] is the
[Common sense] is the best sense I know of., Lord Chesterfield, (1694 1773)
[Sleep is] the golden
[Sleep is] the golden chain that ties health and our bodies together., Thomas Dekker, English dramatist (1572 1632)
I simply cannot unders
I simply cannot understand the passion that some people have for making themselves thoroughly uncomfortable and then boasting about it afterwards., Patricia Moyes,
Exercise alone provide
Exercise alone provides psychological and physical benefits. However, if you also adopt a strategy that engages your mind while you exercise, you can get a whole host of psychological benefits fairly quickly., James Rippe, M.D.,
Whatever is reasonable
Whatever is reasonable is true, and whatever is true is reasonable., Georg W. Hegel, German philosopher (1770 1831)
The shoe that fits one
The shoe that fits one person pinches another there is no recipe for living that suits all cases., Carl Jung, Swiss psychologist (1875 1961)
A compromise is the ar
A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece., Ludwig Erhard, German economist politician (1897 1977)
The undertaking of a n
The undertaking of a new action brings new strength., Evenius,
Happiness: a good bank
Happiness: a good bank account, a good cook and a good digestion., Jean Jacques Rousseau, French political philosopher (1712 1778)
Trouble is only opport
Trouble is only opportunity in work clothes., Henry J. Kaiser, US industrialist (1882 1967)
We cannot swing up on
We cannot swing up on a rope that is attached only to our own belt., William Ernest Hocking, US philosopher (1873 1966)
Man is the only animal
Man is the only animal whose desires increase as they are fed the only animal that is never satisfied., Henry George, US economist (1839 1897)
A classic is something
A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read., Mark Twain, Speech in New York, Nov. 20 1900, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
Perhaps I am a bear, o
Perhaps I am a bear, or some hibernating animal underneath, for the instinct to be half asleep all winter is so strong in me., Anne Morrow Lindbergh,
Laughter is by definit
Laughter is by definition healthy., Doris Lessing,
[Television is] the tr
[Television is] the triumph of machine over people., Fred Allen, US radio comedian (1894 1956)
Man is what he eats.,
Man is what he eats., Ludwig Feuerbach,
Things are seldom what
Things are seldom what they seem, skim milk masquerades as cream., W. S. Gilbert, English librettist writer of comic operettas (1836 1911)
Fear is a question: Wh
Fear is a question: What are you afraid of, and why? Just as the seed of health is in illness, because illness contains information, your fears are a treasure house of selfknowledge if you explore them., Marilyn Ferguson,
It is impossible to wa
It is impossible to walk rapidly and be unhappy., Dr. Howard Murphy,
It is only possible to
It is only possible to live happily ever after on a daytoday basis., Margaret Bonnano,
A censor is a man who
A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to., Granville Hicks, (1901 1982)
For the night was not
For the night was not impartial. No, the night loved some more than others, served some more than others., Eudora Welty, US novelist short story author (1909 )
In reality, serendipit
In reality, serendipity accounts for one percent of the blessings we receive in life, work and love. The other 99 percent is due to our efforts., Peter McWilliams,
Let me tell you the se
Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity., Louis Pasteur, French biologist bacteriologist (1822 1895)
At my age the bones ar
At my age the bones are water in the morning until food is given them., Pearl Buck, US novelist in China (1892 1973)
She wanted something t
She wanted something to happen something, anything: she did not know what., Kate Chopin,
Look in the mirror. Th
Look in the mirror. The face that pins you with its double gaze reveals a chastening secret., Diane Ackerman,
The best things carrie
The best things carried to excess are wrong., Charles Churchill,
A billion here, a bill
A billion here, a billion there, pretty soon it adds up to real money., Senator Everett Dirksen, US politician (1896 1969)
Part of the secret of
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
Even God cannot change
Even God cannot change the past., Agathon, (448 BC 400 BC)
The body is shaped, di
The body is shaped, disciplined, honored, and in time, trusted., Martha Graham, US choreographer dancer (1893 1991)
Tomatoes and oregano m
Tomatoes and oregano make it Italian wine and tarragon make it French. Sour cream makes it Russian lemon and cinnamon make it Greek. Soy sauce makes it Chinese garlic makes it good., Alice May Brock,
A human being must hav
A human being must have occupation if he or she is not to become a nuisance to the world., Dorothy L. Sayers, English mystery author (1893 1957)
A hobby a day keeps th
A hobby a day keeps the doldrums away., Phyllis Mcginley,
Sorrow was like the wi
Sorrow was like the wind. It came in gusts., Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings,
A banker is a fellow w
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
Working in the garden.
Working in the garden...gives me a profound feeling of inner peace., Ruth Stout,
Change has a considera
Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better., King Whitney Jr.,
A schedule defends fro
A schedule defends from chaos and whim., Annie Dillard,
Sport is imposing orde
Sport is imposing order on what was chaos., Anthony Starr,
The self is not someth
The self is not something readymade, but something in continuous formation through choice of action., John Dewey, US educator, Pragmatist philosopher, psychologist (1859 1952)
Vegetarianism is harml
Vegetarianism is harmless enough, though it is apt to fill a man with wind and selfrighteousness., Sir Robert Hutchinson,
We are always in searc
We are always in search of the redeeming formula, the crystallizing thought., Etty Hillesum,
People who are always
People who are always making allowances for themselves soon go bankrupt., Mary Pettibone Poole,
I cannot pretend to fe
I cannot pretend to feel impartial about colours. I rejoice with the brilliant ones and am genuinely sorry for the poor browns., Sir Winston Churchill, British politician (1874 1965)
Eat breakfast like a k
Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper., Adelle Davis,
Truth is the only safe
Truth is the only safe ground to stand on., Elizabeth Cady Stanton, US suffragist (1815 1902)
It is in his pleasure
It is in his pleasure that a man really lives it is from his leisure that he constructs the true fabric of self., Agnes Repplier, US essayist (1855 1950)
Certainly, travel is m
Certainly, travel is more than the seeing of sights it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living., Miriam Beard,
What worries you maste
What worries you masters you., Haddon W. Robinson,
Nothing is more pleasi
Nothing is more pleasing and engaging than the sense of having conferred benefits. Not even the gratification of receiving them., Ellis Peters,
Our remedies oft in ou
Our remedies oft in ourselves do lie., William Shakespeare, Greatest English dramatist poet (1564 1616)
Just as you began to f
Just as you began to feel that you could make good use of time, there was no time left to you., Lisa Alther,
There are few nudities
There are few nudities so objectionable as the naked truth., Agnes Repplier, US essayist (1855 1950)
Before he sets out, th
Before he sets out, the traveler must possess fixed interests and facilities to be served by travel., George Santayana, US (Spanishborn) philosopher (1863 1952)
Walking is also an amb
Walking is also an ambulation of mind., Gretel Ehrlich,
When you make a world
When you make a world tolerable for yourself, you make a world tolerable for others., Anais Nin, US (Frenchborn) author diarist (1903 1977)
People fail forward to
People fail forward to success., Mary Kay Ash,
An optimist is the hum
An optimist is the human personification of spring., Susan J. Bissonette,
Temptation rarely come
Temptation rarely comes in working hours. It is in their leisure time that men are made or marred., W. N. Taylor,
The strongest principl
The strongest principle of growth lies in human choice., George Eliot, English novelist (1819 1880)
Blessed are they who h
Blessed are they who heal you of selfdespisings. Of all services which can be done to man, I know of none more precious., William Hale White,
Illusions are art, for
Illusions are art, for the feeling person, and it is by art that you live, if you do., Elizabeth Bowen, Irish novelist short story author (1899 1973)
Imagination is the beg
Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
Journal writing is a v
Journal writing is a voyage to the interior., Christina Baldwin,
After silence, that wh
After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music., Aldous Huxley, Music at Night, 1931, English critic novelist (1894 1963)
After all it is those
After all it is those who have a deep and real inner life who are best able to deal with the irritating details of outer life., Evelyn Underhill,
The most powerful fact
The most powerful factors in the world are clear ideas in the minds of energetic men of good will., J. Arthur Thomson,
Hindsight is always tw
Hindsight is always twentytwenty., Billy Wilder, US (Austrianborn) movie director (1906 2002)
When you are not physi
When you are not physically starving, you have the luxury to realize psychic and emotional starvation., Cherrie Moraga,
For me, words are a fo
For me, words are a form of action, capable of influencing change., Ingrid Bengis,
We begin to see that t
We begin to see that the completion of an important project has every right to be dignified by a natural grieving process. Something that required the best of you has ended. You will miss it., Anne Wilson Schaef,
Time cools, time clari
Time cools, time clarifies no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
For the sense of smell
For the sense of smell, almost more than any other, has the power to recall memories and it is a pity that you use it so little., Rachel Carson, US ecologist (1907 1964)
Cheerfulness, it would
Cheerfulness, it would appear, is a matter which depends fully as much on the state of things within, as on the state of things without and around us., Charlotte Bronte, English novelist (1816 1855)
A successful individua
A successful individual typically sets his next goal somewhat but not too much above his last achievement. In this way he steadily raises his level of aspiration., Kurt Lewin, US (Germanborn) psychologist (1890 1947)
It is wonderful how qu
It is wonderful how quickly you get used to things, even the most astonishing., Edith Nesbitt,
[Spring is] a true rec
[Spring is] a true reconstructionist., Henry Timrod,
It is not enough to su
It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail., Gore Vidal, US author dramatist (1925 )
I never saw an ugly th
I never saw an ugly thing in my life: for let the form of an object be what it may light, shade, and perspective will always make it beautiful., John Constable, English landscape painter (1776 1837)
I think wholeness come
I think wholeness comes from living your life consciously during the day and then exploring your inner life or unconscious at night., Margery Cuyler,
When I am attacked by
When I am attacked by gloomy thoughts, nothing helps me so much as running to my books. They quickly absorb me and banish the clouds from my mind., Michel de Montaigne, French essayist (1533 1592)
Although the world is
Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it., Helen Keller, US blind deaf educator (1880 1968)
I never cease being du
I never cease being dumbfounded by the unbelievable things people believe., Leo Rosten, US (Polishborn) author (1908 )
One must know oneself,
One must know oneself, if this does not serve to discover truth, it at least serves as a rule of life and there is nothing better., Blaise Pascal, French mathematician, physicist (1623 1662)
Politics is the art of
Politics is the art of preventing people from taking part in affairs which properly concern them., Paul Valery, Tel Quel 2 (1943), French critic poet (1871 1945)
A man can do all thing
A man can do all things if he but wills them., Leon Battista Alberti, Italian artist (1404 1472)
You always pass failur
You always pass failure on the way to success., Mickey Rooney, US actor (1920 )
Art is the desire of a
Art is the desire of a man to express himself, to record the reactions of his personality to the world he lives in., Amy Lowell, US critic poet (1874 1925)
They were so strong in
They were so strong in their beliefs that there came a time when it hardly mattered what exactly those beliefs were they all fused into a single stubbornness., Louise Erdrich,
The great thing in thi
The great thing in this world is not so much where you stand, as in what direction you are moving., Oliver Wendell Holmes, US author physician (1809 1894)
Ritual is the way you
Ritual is the way you carry the presence of the sacred. Ritual is the spark that must not go out., Christina Baldwin,
[Water is] the only dr
[Water is] the only drink for a wise man., Henry David Thoreau, US Transcendentalist author (1817 1862)
I am never afraid of w
I am never afraid of what I know., Anna Sewell, British author (1820 1878)
To establish oneself i
To establish oneself in the world, one has to do all one can to appear established., Francois de La Rochefoucauld, French author moralist (1613 1680)
A man may well bring a
A man may well bring a horse to the water but he cannot make him drink., John Heywood, English dramatist epigrammist (1497 1580)
The good or ill of a m
The good or ill of a man lies within his own will., Epictetus, Roman (Greekborn) slave Stoic philosopher (55 AD 135 AD)
It is a mistake to reg
It is a mistake to regard age as a downhill grade toward dissolution. The reverse is true. As one grows older, one climbs with surprising strides., George Sand, French author (1804 1876)
Our feelings are our m
Our feelings are our most genuine paths to knowledge., Audre Lorde,
To will is to select a
To will is to select a goal, determine a course of action that will bring one to that goal, and then hold to that action till the goal is reached. The key is action., Michael Hanson,
Good breeding consists
Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person., Mark Twain, Notebooks (1935), US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
[Medicine is] a collec
[Medicine is] a collection of uncertain prescriptions the results of which, taken collectively, are more fatal than useful to mankind., Napoleon Bonaparte, French general politician (1769 1821)
We owe something to ex
We owe something to extravagance, for thrift and adventure seldom go hand in hand., Jennie Jerome Churchill, Mother of Winston Churchill (1854 1921)
Guilt is a rope that w
Guilt is a rope that wears thin., Ayn Rand, US (Russianborn) novelist (1905 1982)
A ruffled mind makes a
A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow., Charlotte Bronte, English novelist (1816 1855)
Of course there is no
Of course there is no formula for success except perhaps an unconditional acceptance of life and what it brings., Arthur Rubinstein, US (Polishborn) composer pianist (1886 1982)
That man is the riches
That man is the richest whose pleasures are the cheapest., Henry David Thoreau, US Transcendentalist author (1817 1862)
It is better to wear o
It is better to wear out than to rust out., Bishop Richard Cumberland,
This is my answer to t
This is my answer to the gap between ideas and action I will write it out., Hortense Calisher,
Familiarity breeds con
Familiarity breeds contempt and children., Mark Twain, Notebooks (1935), US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
I stopped believing in
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph., Shirley Temple, US actress, dancer, diplomat (1928 )
The farther behind I l
The farther behind I leave the past, the closer I am to forging my own character., Isabelle Eberhardt,
I know of no more enco
I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestioned ability of a man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor., Henry David Thoreau, US Transcendentalist author (1817 1862)
Where is there dignity
Where is there dignity unless there is honesty?, Cicero, Roman author, orator, politician (106 BC 43 BC)
Courage and perseveran
Courage and perseverance have a magical talisman, before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish into air., John Quincy Adams, US diplomat politician (1767 1848)
To be able to fill lei
To be able to fill leisure intelligently is the last product of civilization., Arnold Toynbee, English historian historical philosopher (1889 1975)
I think I should have
I think I should have no other mortal wants, if I could always have plenty of music. It seems to infuse strength into my limbs and ideas into my brain. Life seems to go on without effort, when I am filled with music., George Eliot, English novelist (1819 1880)
The report of my death
The report of my death was an exaggeration., Mark Twain, New York Journal, June 2 1897, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
We turn not older with
We turn not older with years, but newer every day., Emily Dickinson, US poet (1830 1886)
The happiness of a man
The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions., Alfred Lord Tennyson, English poet (1809 1892)
Health is not simply t
Health is not simply the absence of sickness., Hannah Green,
There is no need to go
There is no need to go to India or anywhere else to find peace. You will find that deep place of silence right in your room, your garden or even your bathtub., Elisabeth KublerRoss,
At the worst, a house
At the worst, a house unkept cannot be so distressing as a life unlived., Dame Rose Macaulay, English novelist (1881 1958)
Intimate relationships
Intimate relationships cannot substitute for a life plan. But to have any meaning or viability at all, a life plan must include intimate relationships., Harriet Lerner,
Selfrespect is the fru
Selfrespect is the fruit of discipline the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself., Rabbi Abraham Heschel,
Man is the Only Animal
Man is the Only Animal that Blushes. Or needs to., Mark Twain, Following the Equator (1897), US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
Dance is the hidden la
Dance is the hidden language of the soul., Martha Graham, US choreographer dancer (1893 1991)
Enjoyment is not a goa
Enjoyment is not a goal, it is a feeling that accompanies important ongoing activity., Paul Goodman, (1911 1972)
The world stands aside
The world stands aside to let anyone pass who knows where he is going., David Starr Jordan, US biologist, educator, ichthyologist (1851 1931)
We improve ourselves b
We improve ourselves by victories over ourself. There must be contests, and you must win., Edward Gibbon, English historian of Rome (1737 1794)
I must govern the cloc
I must govern the clock, not be governed by it., Golda Meir, Israeli (Russianborn) politician (1898 1978)
Human beings, by chang
Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives., William James, US Pragmatist philosopher psychologist (1842 1910)
Nature is just enough
Nature is just enough but men and women must comprehend and accept her suggestions., Antoinette Brown Blackwell, US abolitionist, preacher, suffragist (1825 1921)
Give me the splendid s
Give me the splendid silent sun with all his beams fulldazzling., Walt Whitman, US poet (1819 1892)
I have always felt tha
I have always felt that the moment when first you wake up in the morning is the most wonderful of the twentyfour hours., Monica Baldwin,
Smell is a potent wiza
Smell is a potent wizard that transports you across thousand of miles and all the years you have lived., Helen Keller, US blind deaf educator (1880 1968)
You can fool too many
You can fool too many of the people too much of the time., James Thurber, New Yorker, Apr. 29 1939 The Owl who was God, US author, cartoonist, humorist, satirist (1894 1961)
Order is the shape upo
Order is the shape upon which beauty depends., Pearl Buck, US novelist in China (1892 1973)
He who laughs, lasts!,
He who laughs, lasts!, Mary Pettibone Poole,
The one thing more dif
The one thing more difficult than following a regimen is not imposing it on others., Marcel Proust, French novelist (1871 1922)
Oh sleep! It is a gent
Oh sleep! It is a gentle thing, Beloved from pole to pole., Samuel Taylor Coleridge, English critic poet (1772 1834)
Flying may not be all
Flying may not be all plain sailing, but the fun of it is worth the price., Amelia Earhart, US aviator (1897 1937)
My heart, which is so
My heart, which is so full to overflowing, has often been solaced and refreshed by music when sick and weary., Martin Luther, German religious reformer (1483 1546)
One picture is worth a
One picture is worth a thousand words., Fred R. Barnard,
I reached for sleep an
I reached for sleep and drew it round me like a blanket muffling pain and thought together in the merciful dark., Mary Stewart,
What may be done at an
What may be done at any time will be done at no time., Scottish Proverb,
Silence is more musica
Silence is more musical than any song., Christina Rossetti, English poet (1830 1894)
Early to rise and earl
Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead., James Thurber, New Yorker, Feb. 18 1939 The Shrike and the Chipmunks, US author, cartoonist, humorist, satirist (1894 1961)
Autumn is the bite of
Autumn is the bite of the harvest apple., Christina Petrowsky,
The fragrance always r
The fragrance always remains in the hand that gives the rose., Heda Bejar,
Appetite, with an opin
Appetite, with an opinion of attaining, is called hope the same, without such opinion, despair., Thomas Hobbes, English political philosopher (1588 1679)
She did not talk to pe
She did not talk to people as if they were strange hard shells she had to crack open to get inside. She talked as if she were already in the shell. In their very shell., Marita Bonner,
Variety is the soul of
Variety is the soul of pleasure., Aphra Behn,
Consult your friend on
Consult your friend on all things, especially on those which respect yourself. His counsel may then be useful where your own selflove might impair your judgment., Seneca, Roman dramatist, philosopher, politician (5 BC 65 AD)
The only way to get ri
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself., Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray, 1891, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
Arranging a bowl of fl
Arranging a bowl of flowers in the morning can give a sense of quiet in a crowded day like writing a poem, or saying a prayer., Anne Morrow Lindbergh,
There is no safety in
There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else., James Thurber, New Yorker, Feb. 4 1939 The Fairly Intelligent Fly, US author, cartoonist, humorist, satirist (1894 1961)
Men acquire a particul
Men acquire a particular quality by constantly acting a particular way...you become just by performing just actions, temperate by performing temperate actions, brave by performing brave actions., Aristotle, Greek critic, philosopher, physicist, zoologist (384 BC 322 BC)
Well, if I called the
Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?, James Thurber, New Yorker cartoon caption, June 5 1937, US author, cartoonist, humorist, satirist (1894 1961)
Her own mother lived t
Her own mother lived the latter years of her life in the horrible suspicion that electricity was dripping invisibly all over the house., James Thurber, My Life and Hard Times (1933), US author, cartoonist, humorist, satirist (1894 1961)
My personal hobbies ar
My personal hobbies are reading, listening to music, and silence., Edith Sitwell, English biographer, critic, novelist, poet (1887 1964)
It is better wither to
It is better wither to be silent, or to say things of more value than silence. Sooner throw a pearl at hazard than an idle or useless word and do not say a little in many words, but a great deal in a few., Pythagoras, Greek mathematician, philosopher, scientist (582 BC 507 BC)
The unspoken word neve
The unspoken word never does harm., Kossuth,
I think the first virt
I think the first virtue is to restrain the tongue he approaches nearest to gods who knows how to be silent, even though he is in the right., Cato the Elder, Roman orator politician (234 BC 149 BC)
Nothing is so good for
Nothing is so good for an ignorant man as silence and if he was sensible of this he would not be ignorant., Saadi, Persian poet (1184 1291)
Music is the wine that
Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence., Robert Fripp,
A bore is a man who, w
A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you., Bert Leston Taylor, The SoCalled Human Race (1922),
He had occasional flas
He had occasional flashes of silence, that made his conversation perfectly delightful., Sydney Smith, referring to Macaulay, English essayist (1771 1845)
You have not converted
You have not converted a man because you have silenced him., John Viscount Morley,
In the attitude of sil
In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in a clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness. Our life is a long and arduous quest after Truth., Mahatma Gandhi, Indian ascetic nationalist leader (1869 1948)
Under all speech that
Under all speech that is good for anything there lies a silence that is better. Silence is deep as Eternity speech is shallow as Time., Thomas Carlyle, Scottish author, essayist, historian (1795 1881)
The cruelest lies are
The cruelest lies are often told in silence., Robert Louis Stevenson, Scottish author (1850 1894)
Oppression can only su
Oppression can only survive through silence., Carmen de Monteflores,
I have learnt silence
I have learnt silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers., Kahlil Gibran, Lebanese artist poet in US (1883 1931)
Welltimed silence hath
Welltimed silence hath more eloquence than speech., Martin Fraquhar Tupper,
Selfconfidence is the
Selfconfidence is the first requisite to great undertakings., Samuel Johnson, English author, critic, lexicographer (1709 1784)
Discovery consists of
Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought., Albert von SzentGyorgyi, in Irving Good, The Scientist Speculates (1962), US biochemist (1893 1986)
Gluttony is not a secr
Gluttony is not a secret vice., Orson Welles, US actor director (1915 1985)
Frugality without crea
Frugality without creativity is deprivation., Amy Dacyczyn,
A smiling face is half
A smiling face is half the meal., Latvian Proverb,
We are indeed much mor
We are indeed much more than what we eat, but what we eat can nevertheless help us to be much more than what we are., Adelle Davis,
Promises that you make
Promises that you make to yourself are often like the Japanese plum tree they bear no fruit., Francis Marion, US army officer in American Revolution (1732 1795)
I consider being ill a
I consider being ill as one of the great pleasures of life, provided one is not too ill., Samuel Butler, English composer, novelist, satiric author (1835 1902)
A handful of patience
A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains., Dutch Proverb,
Anything you fully do
Anything you fully do is an alone journey., Natalie Goldberg,
Formerly, when religio
Formerly, when religion was strong and science weak, men mistook magic for medicine now, when science is strong and religion weak, men mistake medicine for magic., Thomas Szasz, The Second Sin 1973 Science and Scientism,
I am at two with natur
I am at two with nature., Woody Allen, US movie actor, comedian, director (1935 )
Thanksgiving is a typi
Thanksgiving is a typically American holiday...The lavish meal is a symbol of the fact that abundant consumption is the result and reward of production., Ayn Rand, US (Russianborn) novelist (1905 1982)
Great services are not
Great services are not canceled by one act or by one single error., Benjamin Disraeli, British politician (1804 1881)
Dwelling on the negati
Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power., Shirley MacLaine, US movie actress (1934 )
If pregnancy were a bo
If pregnancy were a book, they would cut the last two chapters., Nora Ephron,
The crowd gives the le
The crowd gives the leader new strength., Evenius,
Change is the constant
Change is the constant, the signal for rebirth, the egg of the phoenix., Christina Baldwin,
The body is a sacred g
The body is a sacred garment., Martha Graham, US choreographer dancer (1893 1991)
A sound mind in a soun
A sound mind in a sound body is a short but full description of a happy state in this world., John Locke, English empiricist philosopher (1632 1704)
[Long hair] is conside
[Long hair] is considered bohemian, which may be why I grew it, but I keep it long because I love the way it feels, part cloak, part fan, part mane, part security blanket., Marge Piercy,
A child becomes an adu
A child becomes an adult when he realizes that he has a right not only to be right but also to be wrong., Thomas Szasz, The Second Sin 1973 Childhood,
Over the years your bo
Over the years your bodies become walking autobiographies, telling friends and strangers alike of the minor and major stresses of your lives., Marilyn Ferguson,
Perhaps too much of ev
Perhaps too much of everything is as bad as too little., Edna Ferber, US author (1887 1968)
Music has charms to so
Music has charms to soothe the savage breast To soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak., William Congreve, The Mourning Bride, Act 1 Scene 1, English dramatist (1670 1729)
Without friends no one
Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods., Aristotle, Nichomachean Ethics, Greek critic, philosopher, physicist, zoologist (384 BC 322 BC)
All things must change
All things must change to something new, to something strange., Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, US poet (1807 1882)
To be without some of
To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness., Bertrand Russell, British author, mathematician, philosopher (1872 1970)
Food is the most primi
Food is the most primitive form of comfort., Sheila Graham,
[The body is] a marvel
[The body is] a marvelous machine...a chemical laboratory, a powerhouse. Every movement, voluntary or involuntary, full of secrets and marvels!, Theodor Herzl, Austrian (Hungarianborn) Zionist leader (1860 1904)
Famous remarks are ver
Famous remarks are very seldom quoted correctly., Simeon Strunsky, No Mean City (1944), (1879 1948)
Tradition is a guide a
Tradition is a guide and not a jailer., W. Somerset Maugham, English dramatist novelist (1874 1965)
Simplicity is the peak
Simplicity is the peak of civilization., Jessie Sampter,
There smites nothing s
There smites nothing so sharp, nor smelleth so sour as shame., William Langland, English poet (1332 1400)
Kneejerk liberals and
Kneejerk liberals and all the certified saints of sanctified humanism are quick to condemn this great and muchmaligned Transylvanian statesman., William F. Buckley Jr., The Wit and Wisdom of Vlad the Impaler,
Retirement at sixtyfiv
Retirement at sixtyfive is ridiculous. When I was sixtyfive I still had pimples., George Burns, US actor comedian (1896 1996)
A conservative is a ma
A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for the first time., Alfred E. Wiggam,
Give me an incubator o
Give me an incubator or give me death!, Hawkeye and Trapper, M*A*S*H,
Eternal vigilance is t
Eternal vigilance is the price of libertypower is ever stealing from the many to the few., Wendell Phillips, US abolitionist (1811 1884)
If you can spend a per
If you can spend a perfectly useless afternoon in a perfectly useless manner, you have learned how to live., Lin Yutang,
There is nothing more
There is nothing more notable in Socrates than that he found time, when he was an old man, to learn music and dancing, and thought it time well spent., Michel de Montaigne, French essayist (1533 1592)
Eternity is not someth
Eternity is not something that begins after you are dead. It is going on all the time. We are in it now., Charlotte P Gilman,
What saves a man is to
What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step. It is always the same step, but you have to take it., Antoine de SaintExupery, French writer (1900 1944)
As if you could kill t
As if you could kill time without injuring eternity., Henry David Thoreau, US Transcendentalist author (1817 1862)
I have realized that t
I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is., Alan Watts,
Only enemies speak the
Only enemies speak the truth friends and lovers lie endlessly, caught in the web of duty., Roland, The Last Gunslinger,
If the radiance of a t
If the radiance of a thousand suns were to burst at once into the sky that would be like the splendor of the Mighty One... I am become Death, the Shatterer of Worlds., J. Robert Oppenheimer, Quoting The Bhagavad Gita,Alamogordo, New Mexico, 1945, US administrator astrophysicist (1904 1967)
Conservatives are not
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives., John Stuart Mill, English economist philosopher (1806 1873)
Water is the most negl
Water is the most neglected nutrient in your diet but one of the most vital., Kelly Barton,
Music is the wine that
Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence., Robert Fripp,
Of all the varieties o
Of all the varieties of virtues, liberalism is the most beloved., Aristotle,
The man for whom law e
The man for whom law exists the man of forms, the Conservative, is a tame man., Henry David Thoreau,
What is conservativism
What is conservativism? Is it not the aherence to the old and tried against the new and untried?, Abraham Lincoln, 16th president of US (1809 1865)
The coldest winter I e
The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
"When angry, count fou
"When angry, count four when very angry, swear., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
"One of the most strik
"One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
"Familiarity breeds co
"Familiarity breeds contempt and children., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
One ought, every day a
One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words., Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, German dramatist, novelist, poet, scientist (1749 1832)
"Yields falsehood when
"Yields falsehood when preceded by its quotation" yields falsehood when preceded by its quotation., W.V.O. Quine,
Nietsche is Pietsche."
Nietsche is Pietsche.", Ogden Nash, US humorist poet (1902 1971)
"Home is where you wea
"Home is where you wear your hat., Buckaroo Banzai (the film),
"Attention, attention,
"Attention, attention, there are monkeyboys in the complex., Buckaroo Banzai (the film),
Learning builds daily
Learning builds daily
We have enough religio
We have enough religion to hate each other, but not enough to love each other., Jonathan Swift, Irish essayist, novelist, satirist (1667 1745)
Man does not live by w
Man does not live by words alone, despite the fact that he sometimes has to eat them., Adlai E. Stevenson Jr., US diplomat Democratic politician (1900 1965)
I bet the human brain
I bet the human brain is a kludge., Marvin Minsky,
Nothing endures but pe
Nothing endures but personal qualities., Walt Whitman, US poet (1819 1892)
A mind once stretched
A mind once stretched by a new idea never regains its original dimension., Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr., US jurist (1841 1935)
There is no royal road
There is no royal road to geometry., Euclid, Said to king Ptolemy I,
But, my dearest Agatho
But, my dearest Agathon, it is truth which you cannot contradict you can without any difficulty contradict Socrates., Plato, Symposium, Greek author philosopher in Athens (427 BC 347 BC)
My writing is like a t
My writing is like a ten gallon spring. It can issue from the ground anywhere at all. On smooth ground it rushes swiftly on and covers a thouasand li in a single day without difficulty. When it twists and turns among mountains and rocks, it fits its form to things it meets: unknowable. What can be known is, it always goes where it must go, always stops where it cannot help stopping nothing else. More than that, even I cannot know., Su Shih,
Whenever we read the o
Whenever we read the obscene stories, the voluptuous debaucheries, the cruel and torturous executions, the unrelenting vindictiveness, with which more than half the bible is filled, it would seem more consistent that we called it the word of a demon than the Word of God. It is a history of wickedness that has served to corrupt and brutalize mankind., Thomas Paine, The Age of Reason, US patriot political philosopher (1737 1809)
Sweet is revenge espe
Sweet is revenge especially to women., Lord Byron, English poet satirist (1788 1824)
The greatest pleasure
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do., Walter Bagehot, English economist journalist (1826 1877)
I always wanted to be
I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific., Lily Tomlin, US actress comedienne (1939 )
The poet judges not as
The poet judges not as a judge judges but as the sun falling around a helpless thing., Walt Whitman, US poet (1819 1892)
True friendship is nev
True friendship is never serene., Marie de RabutinChantal,
I am the only guinea p
I am the only guinea pig I have., R. Buckminster Fuller, US architect engineer (1895 1983)
Love is an irresistabl
Love is an irresistable desire to be irresistably desired., Robert Frost, US poet (1874 1963)
"What is it the Bible
"What is it the Bible teaches us? rapine, cruelty, and murder. What is it the Testament teaches us? to believe that the Almighty committed debauchery with a woman engaged to be married, and the belief of this debauchery is called faith., Thomas Paine, The Age of Reason, US patriot political philosopher (1737 1809)
I celebrate myself, an
I celebrate myself, and sing myself., Walt Whitman, Song of Myself, 1855, US poet (1819 1892)
The ultimate test of a
The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but hold hands., Alexander Penney,
There are very few peo
There are very few people who are not ashamed of having been in love when they no longer love each other., Francois de La Rochefoucald,
There is more to life
There is more to life than increasing its speed., Mahatma Gandhi, Indian ascetic nationalist leader (1869 1948)
Each friend represents
Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born., Anais Nin, US (Frenchborn) author diarist (1903 1977)
We must laugh before w
We must laugh before we are happy, for fear we die before we laugh at all., Jean de La Bruyere, French moralist (1645 1696)
Love is but the discov
Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition., Alexander Smith, Scottish essayist poet (1830 1867)
O, throw away the wors
O, throw away the worser part of it, And live the purer with the other half., Shakespeare, Hamlet III, iv, 156160.,
While the gentleman ch
While the gentleman cherishes benign rule, the small man cherishes his native land. While the gentleman cherishes a respect for the law, the small man cherishes generous treatment., Confucius, nalects, IV.11, Chinese philosopher reformer (551 BC 479 BC)
In his errors a man is
In his errors a man is true to type. Observe the errors and you will know the man., Confucius, Analects, IV.7, Chinese philosopher reformer (551 BC 479 BC)
Now I see the secret o
Now I see the secret of the making of the best persons. It is to grow in the open air and to eat and sleep with the earth., Walt Whitman, Song of the Open Road, US poet (1819 1892)
It is only the benevol
It is only the benevolent man who is capable of liking or disliking other men., Confucius, Analects, IV.3, Chinese philosopher reformer (551 BC 479 BC)
If a man remembers wha
If a man remembers what is right at the sign of profit, is ready to lay down his life in the face of danger, and does not forget sentiments he has repeated all his life when he has been in straitened circumstances for a long time, he may be said to be a complete man., Confucius, Analects, XIV.12, Chinese philosopher reformer (551 BC 479 BC)
Do not impose on other
Do not impose on others what you yourself do not desire., Confucius, Analects, XV.24, Chinese philosopher reformer (551 BC 479 BC)
To govern is to correc
To govern is to correct. If you set an example by being correct, who would dare remain incorrect?, Confucius, Chinese philosopher reformer (551 BC 479 BC)
Men occasionally stumb
Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened., Sir Winston Churchill, British politician (1874 1965)
If you go on with this
If you go on with this nuclear arms race, all you are going to do is make the rubble bounce., Sir Winston Churchill, British politician (1874 1965)
I have taken more out
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me., Sir Winston Churchill, British politician (1874 1965)
MacDonald has the gift
MacDonald has the gift of compressing the largest amount of words into the smallest amount of thoughts., Sir Winston Churchill, British politician (1874 1965)
A torn jacket is soon
A torn jacket is soon mended but hard words bruise the heart of a child., Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, US poet (1807 1882)
My wife and I tried to
My wife and I tried to breakfast together, but we had to stop or our marriage would have been wrecked., Sir Winston Churchill, British politician (1874 1965)
It has been said that
It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried., Sir Winston Churchill, British politician (1874 1965)
Although prepared for
Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed., Sir Winston Churchill, British politician (1874 1965)
There is nothing more
There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without result., Sir Winston Churchill, British politician (1874 1965)
At sunrise everything
At sunrise everything is luminous but not clear." It is those we live with and love and should know who elude us." You can love completely without complete understanding., Norman Maclean, A River Runs Through It,
Too many of us look up
Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves., Albert Einstein, 1929, US (Germanborn) physicist (1879 1955)
A person is never happ
A person is never happy except at the price of some ignorance., Anatole France, French novelist (1844 1924)
If it bleeds, you can
If it bleeds, you can kill it, Predator,
Guess again., The Runn
Guess again., The Running Man, movie,
This is getting on my
This is getting on my nerves, now that I have them., Q., Star Trek, the Next Generation, Deja Q,
Geschichte ist [...] e
Geschichte ist [...] ein Dialog zwischen Gegenwart und Vergangenheit. [retransl.:] History is [...] a dialogue between the present and the past., Edward Hallet Carr, Was ist Geschichte?, S. 54,
Life is islands of ecs
Life is islands of ecstasy in an ocean of ennui, and after the age of thirty land is seldom seen., Luke Rhinehart,
The major difference b
The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair., Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless, English humorist science fiction novelist (1952 2001)
A common mistake peopl
A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools., Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless, English humorist science fiction novelist (1952 2001)
"I want to know Gods t
"I want to know Gods thoughts.... all the rest are just details, Albert Einstein, US (Germanborn) physicist (1879 1955)
My favorite thing abou
My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them., Penn Jillette, in a Compuserve chat, US magician showman (1955 )
Just like the falling
Just like the falling rainbow Just like the stars in the sky Life should never feel small., Vearncombe, Black, Paradise,
I think it would be a
I think it would be a good idea., Mahatma Ghandi,
You see things, and yo
You see things, and you say Why? But I dream things that never were, and say Why not?, George Bernard Shaw, Metamagical Themas" by Douglas Hofstadter, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)) INSERT INTO `quotes` VALUES (1240, Liberalism is trust of the people, tempered by prudence conservatism, distrust of people, tempered by fear., William Gladstone, British politician (1809 1898)) INSERT INTO `quotes` VALUES (1241, "I, on the other hand, have a degree from the University of Life, a diploma from the School of Hard Knocks, and three gold stars from the Kindergarten of Getting the Shit Kicked Out of Me., Captain Edmund Blackadder, Blackadder Goes Forth,
We who are liberal and
We who are liberal and progressive know that the poor are our equals in every sense except that of being equal to us., Lionel Trilling,
I still believe in lib
I still believe in liberalism today as much as I ever did, but, oh, there was a happy time when I believed in liberals..., G. K. Chesterton, English author mystery novelist (1874 1936)
Neurotics build castle
Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them., Rita Rudner, US comedian )
Each of us visits this
Each of us visits this Earth involuntarily, and without an invitation. For me, it is enough to wonder at the secrets., Albert Einstein, US (Germanborn) physicist (1879 1955)
It is an odd thing, bu
It is an odd thing, but everyone who disappears is said to be seen at San Francisco. It must be a delightful city, and possess all the attractions of the next world., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
Selfishness is not liv
Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live. It is asking other people to live as one wishes to live., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
To love oneself is the
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
Simple pleasures are t
Simple pleasures are the last refuge of the complex., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
"Opposites are cures f
"Opposites are cures for opposites., Hippocrates c. 460400 BC, Breaths, bk. I,
"Let no one be willing
"Let no one be willing to speak ill of the absent., Sextus Propertius 54 BCAD 2 Elegies, II, xix, 32,
Do not speak ill of th
Do not speak ill of the dead., The Seven Sages, (Bias, Chilon, Cleobulus, Periander, Pittacus,Solon, Thales) c. 650 c. 550 BC, From Diogenes Laertius, Lives, (650 BC 550 BC)
"If the victor had the
"If the victor had the gods on his side, the vanquished had Cato.", Lucan (Marcus Annaeus Lucanus) AD 3965, The Civil War, bk. I, 128,
First things first, bu
First things first, but not necessarily in that order., Doctor Who,
A diplomat... is a per
A diplomat... is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip., Caskie Stinnett, Out of the Red (1960),
Publish and be damned!
Publish and be damned!, Arthur Wellesley, Duke of Wellington, Attributed when the courtesan Harriette Wilson threatened to publish her memoirs and his,
The lip of truth shall
The lip of truth shall be established for ever: but a lying tongue is but for a moment., Proverbs 19:00,00 The King James Bible,
Truth stands the test
Truth stands the test of time lies are soon exposed., Proverbs 19:00,00 The Bible,
Experience is a good s
Experience is a good school, but the fees are high., Heinrich Heine, German critic poet (1797 1856)
I have found little th
I have found little that is good about human beings. In my experience most of them, on the whole, are trash., Sigmund Freud, Austrian psychologist (1856 1939)
It is a rather pleasan
It is a rather pleasant experience to be alone in a bank at night., Willie Sutton,
Experience...is simply
Experience...is simply the name we give our mistakes., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
If a man who cannot co
If a man who cannot count finds a fourleaf clover, is he entitled to happiness?, Stanislaw Lec, Unkempt Thoughts,
What is the difference
What is the difference between unethical and ethical advertising? Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public ethical advertising uses truth to deceive the public., Vilhjalmur Stefansson, Discovery, 1964, Canadian explorer ethnologist (1879 1962)
Many a zero thinks it
Many a zero thinks it is the ellipse on which the Earth travels., Stanislaw Lec,
It turns out that an e
It turns out that an eerie type of chaos can lurk just behind a facade of order and yet, deep inside the chaos lurks an even eerier type of order., Douglas Hostadter,
Nothing great was ever
Nothing great was ever acheived without enthusiasm., R. W. Emerson,
People call me feminis
People call me feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute., Rebecca West, Irish critic, journalist, novelist (1892 1983)
The farther the experi
The farther the experiment is from theory the closer it is to the Nobel Prize., Frederic JoliotCurie, quoted by M.A. Markov, A Random Walk in Science compiled by R. L. Weber, edited by E. Mendoza,
Report writing, like m
Report writing, like motorcar driving and lovemaking, is one of those activities which almost every Englishman thinks he can do well without instruction. The results are of course usually abominable., Tom Margerison, A Random Walk in Science compiled by R. L. Weber, edited by E. Mendoza,
You may assume infinit
You may assume infinite ignorance and unlimited intelligence., Leo Szilard, A Random Walk in Science compiled by R. L. Weber, edited by E. Mendoza,
Happiness is nothing m
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory., Albert Schweitzer, French philosopher physician (1875 1965)
It did not last: the d
It did not last: the devil howling Ho! Let Einstein be! restored the status quo., Sir John Collins Squire, A Random Walk in Science compiled by R. L. Weber, edited by E. Mendoza,
We shall not flag or f
We shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills we shall never surrender., Sir Winston Churchill, Speech, 4.10.2008 June, 1940, British politician (1874 1965)
"How often have I said
"How often have I said to you that when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth?, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, (Sherlock Holmes) Sign of Four, British mystery author physician (1859 1930)
It takes two to speak
It takes two to speak the truthone to speak and the other to hear., Henry David Thoreau, US Transcendentalist author (1817 1862)
One ought, every day a
One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture and, if possible, speak a few reasonable words., Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, German dramatist, novelist, poet, scientist (1749 1832)
When you sling mud, yo
When you sling mud, you lose ground., Adlai E. Stevenson Jr., US diplomat Democratic politician (1900 1965)
If my theory of relati
If my theory of relativity is proven successful, Germany will claim me as a German and France will declare that I am a citizen of the world., Einstein,
"Everything should be
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler., Albert Einstein, US (Germanborn) physicist (1879 1955)
I am always doing that
I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it., Pablo Picasso, Spanish Cubist painter (1881 1973)
"Imagination is more i
"Imagination is more important than knowledge., Albert Einstein, US (Germanborn) physicist (1879 1955)
"My religion consists
"My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind., Albert Einstein, US (Germanborn) physicist (1879 1955)
Oscar Wilde: I wish I
Oscar Wilde: I wish I had said that. Whistler: You will, Oscar you will., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)) INSERT INTO `quotes` VALUES (1194, Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms., Groucho Marx, US comedian with Marx Brothers (1890 1977)) INSERT INTO `quotes` VALUES (1195, Usenet is distributed network anarchy at its bestor worst, depending on what is posted on any particular day., David Fiedler, in _Byte_, ) INSERT INTO `quotes` VALUES (1196, My life is a simple thing that would interest no one. It is a known fact that I was born and that is all that is necessary., Albert Einstein, US (Germanborn) physicist (1879 1955)
Duct tape is like the
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and a dark side, and it holds the universe together ..., Carl Zwanzig,
If you choose not to l
If you choose not to live in a cluster, uh, dorm..., Jim Zelenka,
Sometimes it is more i
Sometimes it is more important to discover what one cannot do, than what one can do., Lin Yutang,
This calls for a very
This calls for a very special plan of psychology and extreme violence, The Young Ones,
Nothing is illegal if
Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it., Andrew Young,
The truth of the matte
The truth of the matter is that window management under X is not yet well understood., The Xlib Programming Manual,
Student: Can you do pr
Student: Can you do problem number twelve? Wyler: Twelve?...NO!...That problem is on the test., Oswald Wyler,
An ambassador is a man
An ambassador is a man of virtue sent to lie abroad for his country a newswriter is a man without virtue who lies at home for himself., Sir Henry Wotton, Reliquae Wottonianae,
Science has proof with
Science has proof without any certainty. Creationists have certainty without any proof., Ashley Montague,
I try to know what I n
I try to know what I need to know. I make sure to know what I want to know., Nero Wolfe,
There is no limit to s
There is no limit to stupidity. Space itself is said to be bounded by its own curvature, but stupidity continues beyond infinity., Gene Wolfe,
Nothing recedes like s
Nothing recedes like success., Walter Winchell, US gossip columnist broadcast journalist (1897 1972)
The man who is swimmin
The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it., Woodrow Wilson, 28th president of US (1856 1924)
I not only use all the
I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that I can borrow., Woodrow Wilson, 28th president of US (1856 1924)
Only the madman is abs
Only the madman is absolutely sure., Robert Anton Wilson,
Belief is the death of
Belief is the death of intelligence., Robert Anton Wilson,
I have noticed that th
I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them., E. V. Lucas,
Football is a mistake.
Football is a mistake. It combines the two worst elements of American life. Violence and committee meetings., George Will,
The Berlin Wall is the
The Berlin Wall is the defining achievement of socialism., George Will,
The pure and simple tr
The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
To be willing to die f
To be willing to die for an idea is to set a rather high price on conjecture., Anatole France, French novelist (1844 1924)
As long as war is rega
As long as war is regarded as wicked, it will always have its fascination. When it is looked upon as vulgar, it will cease to be popular., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
Only the shallow know
Only the shallow know themselves., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
Action is the last ref
Action is the last refuge of those who cannot dream., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
A thing is not necessa
A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
Alas, I am dying beyon
Alas, I am dying beyond my means., Oscar Wilde, as he sipped champagne on his deathbed, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
Democracy means simply
Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
The basis for optimism
The basis for optimism is sheer terror., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
The fact is, that civi
The fact is, that civilization requires slaves. The Greeks were quite right there. Unless there are slaves to do the ugly, horrible, uninteresting work, culture, and contemplation become almost impossible. Human slavery is wrong, insecure, and demoralizing. On mechanical slavery, on the slavery of the machine, the future of the world depends., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
To be good, according
To be good, according to the vulgar standard of goodness, is obviously quite easy. It merely requires a certain amount of sordid terror, a certain lack of imaginative thought, and a certain low passion for middleclass respectability., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
The English country ge
The English country gentleman galloping after a fox the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
Seriousness is the onl
Seriousness is the only refuge of the shallow., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
Fashion is a form of u
Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
Always and never are t
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use., Wendell Johnson,
I sometimes think that
I sometimes think that God, in creating man, overestimated His ability., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
There is no such thing
There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written or badly written., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
Man is a rational anim
Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
What most experimenter
What most experimenters take for granted before they begin their experiments is infinitely more interesting than any results to which their experiments lead., Norbert Wiener,
The art of progress is
The art of progress is to preserve order amid change and to preserve change amid order., Alfred North Whitehead, English mathematician philosopher (1861 1947)
Any appeasement of tyr
Any appeasement of tyranny is treason to this republic and to the democratic ideal., William Allen White,
Two and two continue t
Two and two continue to make four, in spite of the whine of the amateur for three, or the cry of the critic for five., James McNeill Whistler,
As you journey through
As you journey through life take a minute every now and then to give a thought for the other fellow. He could be plotting something., Hagar the Horrible,
The trouble with doing
The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was., Walt West,
Nonviolence is the pol
Nonviolence is the policy of the vegetable kingdom, H. G. Wells, English author, historian, utopian (1866 1946)
Man is not a machine..
Man is not a machine... Although man most certainly processes information, he does not necessarily process it in the way computers do. Computers and men are not species of the same genus... However much intelligence computers may attain, now or in the furture, theirs must always be an intelligence alien to genuine human problems and concerns., Joseph Weizenbaum,
As far as we know, our
As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error., Weisert,
The chalk marks are tr
The chalk marks are transient, the formulas eternal., S. Weinstein,
My doctor told me to s
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people., Orson Welles, US actor director (1915 1985)
Relative calm is expec
Relative calm is expected in South Central Los Angeles for the next several weeks, as looters stay home and try to program their new VCRs., Weekend Update,
Believe those who are
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it., Andre Gide, French critic, essayist, novelist (1869 1951)
Now let me explain why
Now let me explain why this makes intuitive sense., Prof. Larry Wasserman,
At Group L, Stoffel ov
At Group L, Stoffel oversees six firstrate programmers, a managerial challenge roughly comparable to herding cats., Washington Post Magazine, June 9 1985,
Government is not reas
Government is not reason it is not eloquence it is force! It is a dangerous servant and a terrible master., George Washington, First president of US (1732 1799)
They say that time cha
They say that time changes things, but actually you have to change them yourself., Andy Warhol, US artist (1928 1987)
Why is this thus? What
Why is this thus? What is the reason for this thusness?, Artemus Ward, US humorist (1834 1867)
Before the Gulf War st
Before the Gulf War started, the Iraqi Army was the the fourth largest in the world. Now, its the second largest army in Iraq., Wall Street Journal, March 15 1991,
Real programmers can w
Real programmers can write assembly code in any language. :), Larry Wall in,
History is more or le
History is more or less bunk., Henry Ford, US automobile industrialist (1863 1947)
It is easier to port a
It is easier to port a shell than a shell script., Larry Wall,
[End of diatribe. We n
[End of diatribe. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming...], Larry Wall in Configure from the perl distribution,
Anyone who considers a
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin., John von Neumann,
You wake me up early i
You wake me up early in the morning to tell me I am right? Please wait until I am wrong., John von Neumann, on being phoned at 10 a.m.,
We can lick gravity, b
We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming., Wernher von Braun, US (Germanborn) rocket engineer (1912 1977)
The two most common el
The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity., Harlan Ellison, US science fiction author screenwriter (1934 )
Man is the best comput
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor., Wernher von Braun, US (Germanborn) rocket engineer (1912 1977)
One could not be a suc
One could not be a successful scientist without realizing that, in contrast to the popular conception supported by newspapers and mothers of scientists, a goodly number of scientists are not only narrowminded and dull, but also just stupid., J. D. Watson, The Double Helix,
Who the hell wants to
Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?, H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927.,
Anything too stupid to
Anything too stupid to be said is sung., Voltaire, French author, humanist, rationalist, satirist (1694 1778)
A witty saying proves
A witty saying proves nothing., Voltaire, French author, humanist, rationalist, satirist (1694 1778)
It is one of the super
It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue., Voltaire, French author, humanist, rationalist, satirist (1694 1778)
The superfluous is ver
The superfluous is very necessary., Voltaire, French author, humanist, rationalist, satirist (1694 1778)
I have never made but
I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous. And God granted it., Voltaire, French author, humanist, rationalist, satirist (1694 1778)
The first half of our
The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children., Clarence Darrow, US defense lawyer (1857 1938)
It is an infantile sup
It is an infantile superstition of the human spirit that virginity would be thought a virtue and not the barrier that separates ignorance from knowledge, Voltaire, French author, humanist, rationalist, satirist (1694 1778)
"Animals have these ad
"Animals have these advantages over man: they never hear the clock strike, they die without any idea of death, they have no theologians to instruct them, their last moments are not disturbed by unwelcome and unpleasant ceremonies, their funerals cost them nothing, and no one starts lawsuits over their wills., Voltaire, French author, humanist, rationalist, satirist (1694 1778)
The biggest things are
The biggest things are always the easiest to do because there is no competition., William Van Horne,
War is a matter of vit
War is a matter of vital importance to the State the province of life or death the road to survival or ruin. It is mandatory that it be thoroughly studied., Sun Tzu,
To conquer the enemy w
To conquer the enemy without resorting to war is the most desirable. The highest form of generalship is to conquer the enemy by strategy., Sun Tzu, The Art of War,
Human beings are the o
Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home., Bill Cosby, US comedian television actor (1937 )
Fundamentalists are to
Fundamentalists are to Christianity what paintbynumbers is to art., Robin Tyler,
The woman of my dreams
The woman of my dreams knows how to break into systems., Doug Tygar,
We are just tenants on
We are just tenants on this world. We have just been given a new lease, and a warning from the landlord., Arthur C. Clarke, 2010, English physicist science fiction author (1917 )
If a person offend you
If a person offend you and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures. Simply watch your chance and hit him with a brick., Mark Twain, Advice to Youth Speech, 1882, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
How come we rejoice at
How come we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
Sacred cows make the b
Sacred cows make the best hamburger., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
I thoroughly disapprov
I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
God made the Idiot for
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board, Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
Whenever you find that
Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
If there is one basic
If there is one basic element in our Constitution, it is civilian control of the military., Harry S. Truman,
Old age is the most un
Old age is the most unexpected of things that can happen to a man., Trotsky,
The strongest of all w
The strongest of all warriors are these two Time and Patience., Leo Tolstoy, Russian mystic novelist (1828 1910)
I know that most men,
I know that most men, including those at ease with problems of the greatest complexity, can seldom accept even the simplest and most obvious truth if it be such as would oblige them to admit the falsity of conlusions which they have delighted in explaining to colleages, which they have proudly taught to others, and which they have woven, thread by thread, into the fabric of their lives., Leo Tolstoy, Russian mystic novelist (1828 1910)
Benson, you are so fre
Benson, you are so free of the ravages of intelligence, Time Bandits,
Truly great madness ca
Truly great madness can not be achieved without significant intelligence., Henrik Tikkanen,
An honest politician i
An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought., Simon Cameron, US financier politician (1799 1889)
Sorry for the disaster
Sorry for the disaster. And thanks for your patience!, Chris Thyberg,
Its better to know som
Its better to know some of the questions, than all of the answers., James Thurber, US author, cartoonist, humorist, satirist (1894 1961)
Be true to your work,
Be true to your work, your word, and your friend., Henry David Thoreau, US Transcendentalist author (1817 1862)
Do not be too moral. Y
Do not be too moral. You may cheat yourself out of much life so. Aim above morality. Be not simply good be good for something., Henry David Thoreau, US Transcendentalist author (1817 1862)
Why should we be in su
Why should we be in such desperate haste to succeed, and in such desperate enterprises? If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away., Henry David Thoreau, Walden, US Transcendentalist author (1817 1862)
I have learned this at
I have learned this at least by my experiment: if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours., Henry David Thoreau, US Transcendentalist author (1817 1862)
It is something to be
It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, which morally we can do. To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of arts., Henry David Thoreau, Where I Live, US Transcendentalist author (1817 1862)
Andrew is the operatin
Andrew is the operating system of the future and always will be., Mary R. Thompson,
For most folks, no new
For most folks, no news is good news for the press, good news is not news., Gloria Borger,
Just think, IBM and DE
Just think, IBM and DEC in the same room, and we did it., Ken Thompson, quoted by Dennis Ritchie,
I have a theory that t
I have a theory that the truth is never told during the 9 to 5 hours., Hunter S. Thompson, US journalist (1939 2005)
A cap of good acid cos
A cap of good acid costs five dollars and for that you can hear the Universal Symphony with God singing solo and the Holy Ghost on drums., Hunter S. Thompson, US journalist (1939 2005)
In the Norse mythology
In the Norse mythology Loki originally was on the side of the rest of the gods, helping them once or twice using a particularly nast forms of trickery. He was a cunning negotiator with a talent for technicalities. He was sort of the Norse equivalent of a lawyer, no doubt the reason they tied him down in a pit dripping acidic venom on him., Martin Terman,
A wizard cannot do eve
A wizard cannot do everything a fact most magicians are reticent to admit, let alone discuss with prospective clients. Still, the fact remains that there are certain objects, and people, that are, for one reason or another, completely immune to any direct magical spell. It is for this group of beings that the magician learns the subtleties of using indirect spells. It also does no harm, in dealing with these matters, to carry a large club near your person at all times., The Teachings of Ebenezum, Volume VIII,
Take your work serious
Take your work seriously but never take yourself seriously and do not take what happens either to yourself or your work seriously., Booth Tarkington, US novelist (1869 1946)
Better stop short than
Better stop short than fill to the brim. Oversharpen the blade, and the edge will soon blunt. Amass a store of gold and jade, and no one can protect it. Claim wealth and titles, and disaster will follow. Retire when the work is done. This is the way of heaven., Tao Te Ching,
Never express yourself
Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think., Niels Bohr, Danish physicist (1885 1962)
Anyone can hold the he
Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm., Publilius Syrus, (~100 BC)
Newpaper editors are m
Newpaper editors are men who separate the wheat from the chaff, and then print the chaff., Adlai E. Stevenson Jr., US diplomat Democratic politician (1900 1965)
The problem with the c
The problem with the cutting edge is that someone has to bleed., Zalman Stern,
Distributed file syste
Distributed file systems are a cruel hoax., Zalman Stern, former ITC hacker diety,
The greatest pleasure
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do., Walter Bagehot, English economist journalist (1826 1877)
The mark of an immatur
The mark of an immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of a mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one., William Stekel,
If the programmer can
If the programmer can simulate a construct faster then the compiler can implement the construct itself, then the compiler writer has blown it badly., Guy L. Steele Jr., Tartan Laboratories,
Science cannot stop wh
Science cannot stop while ethics catches up and nobody should expect scientists to do all the thinking for the country., Elvin Stackman,
Start slow and taper o
Start slow and taper off., Walt Stack,
A Multitasking Timex S
A Multitasking Timex Sinclair, Matt Sorrels in reference to Andrew running XWindows,
We Americans want peac
We Americans want peace, and it is now evident that we must be prepared to demand it. For other peoples have wanted peace, and the peace they received was the peace of death., Rev. Francis J. Spellman, Archbishop of New York. 22 September, 1940,
The only truly secure
The only truly secure system is one that is powered off, cast in a block of concrete and sealed in a leadlined room with armed guards and even then I have my doubts., Eugene H. Spafford,
Democracy is a form of
Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country could do under firstclass management., Senator Soaper,
The creator of the uni
The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers., Scott Adams, US cartoonist (1957 )
I have been thinking t
I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican friends... that if they will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them., Adlai E. Stevenson Jr., Speech during 1952 Presidential Campaign, US diplomat Democratic politician (1900 1965)
He had occasional flas
He had occasional flashes of silence, that made his conversation perfectly delightful., Sydney Smith, referring to Macaulay, English essayist (1771 1845)
I found out that when
I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to., Yakov Smirnoff,
The future, according
The future, according to some scientists, will be exactly like the past, only far more expensive., John Sladek,
Education is what surv
Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten, B.F. Skinner,
When you betray somebo
When you betray somebody else, you also betray yourself., Isaac Bashevis Singer, US (Polishborn) Jewish author (1904 1991)
The chief value of mon
The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
In the beginning was t
In the beginning was the word. But by the time the second word was added to it, there was trouble. For with it came syntax..., John Simon,
Goto, n.: A programmin
Goto, n.: A programming tool that exists to allow structured programmers to complain about unstructured programmers., Ray Simard,
Fortunately, the secon
Fortunately, the secondtolast bug has just been fixed., Ray Simard,
Life is too important
Life is too important to take seriously., Corky Siegel,
Pay no attention to wh
Pay no attention to what the critics say there has never been set up a statue in honor of a critic., Jean Sibelius, Finnish composer patriot (1865 1957)
The only winner in the
The only winner in the War of 1812 was Tchaikovsky, Solomon Short,
Common sense is instin
Common sense is instinct. Enough of it is genius., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
Martyrdom is the only
Martyrdom is the only way a person can become famous without ability., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
The trouble with our t
The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be., Paul Valery, French critic poet (1871 1945)
When a stupid man is d
When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty., GB Shaw,
Success covers a multi
Success covers a multitude of blunders., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
England and America ar
England and America are two countries seperated by the same language., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
Democracy is a device
Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
Life is a disease and
Life is a disease and the only diference between one another is the stage of the disease at which he lives., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
Except during the nine
Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
Do you know what a pe
Do you know what a pessimist is? A person who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself and hates them for it., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
There is no satisfacti
There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it, G. B. Shaw,
Nobody knows the age o
Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better., Anonymous,
One of the advantages
One of the advantages of being a captain is being able to ask for advice without necessarily having to take it., William Shatner as Kirk, in Dagger of the Mind,
To thine own self be t
To thine own self be true And it must follow as the night the day Thou canst not be false to any man, William Shakespeare, Greatest English dramatist poet (1564 1616)
...adults are just obs
...adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them., Dr. Seuss, (as quoted in his obit in Time), US author illustrator (1904 1991)
One form to rule them
One form to rule them all, one form to find them, one form to bring them all and in the darkness rewrite the hell out of them, sendmail ruleset 3 comment from DEC.,
Any intelligent fool c
Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction., E. F. Schumacher,
If we are going to sti
If we are going to stick to this damned quantumjumping, then I regret that I ever had anything to do with quantum theory., Erwin Schrodinger,
You can discover what
You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you., Eric Hoffer, (1902 1983)
For fourfifths of our
For fourfifths of our history, our planet was populated by pond scum., J.W. Schopf,
If you want to know yo
If you want to know your true opinion of someone, watch the effect produced in you by the first sight of a letter from him., Arthur Schopenhauer, German philosopher (1788 1860)
Immortality a fate wo
Immortality a fate worse than death., Edgar A. Shoaff,
If someone tells you t
If someone tells you that the fully armored man of the Middle Ages was so encumbered by his armor that he could not rise if he fell, you may well ask yourself, first, if it is reasonable to assume that professional soldiers would go on wearing armor that kept them from fighting and second, if this theory is in line with what you know of the heavily armored men of your personal acquaintance., Niccola Sebastiani,
Oh, what tangled webs
Oh, what tangled webs we weave, When we first practice to deceive., Sir Walter Scott, Scottish author novelist (1771 1832)
Each religion, by the
Each religion, by the help of more or less myth which it takes more or less seriously, proposes some method of fortifying the human soul and enabline it to make its peace with its destiny., George Santayana, US (Spanishborn) philosopher (1863 1952)
I may not have gone wh
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be., Douglas Adams, English humorist science fiction novelist (1952 2001)
Skepticism is the chas
Skepticism is the chastity of the intellect, and it is shameful to surrender it too soon or to the first comer: there is nobility in preserving it coolly and proudly through long youth, until at last, in the ripeness of instinct and discretion, it can be safely exchanged for fidelity and happiness., George Santayana, US (Spanishborn) philosopher (1863 1952)
This is no time to act
This is no time to act like a gentleman. I am a cad and shall react like one., George Sanders,
Remember folks. Street
Remember folks. Street lights timed for 35 mph are also timed for 70 mph., Jim Samuels,
In an optimal world, I
In an optimal world, I would not be necessary., James Price Salsman,
But the fact that some
But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown., Carl Sagan, US astronomer popularizer of astronomy (1934 1996)
A celibate clergy is a
A celibate clergy is an especially good idea, because it tends to suppress any hereditary propensity toward fanaticism., Carl Sagan, Contact, US astronomer popularizer of astronomy (1934 1996)
In order to make an ap
In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe., Carl Sagan, Cosmos, US astronomer popularizer of astronomy (1934 1996)
Who are we? We find th
Who are we? We find that we live on an insignificant planet of a humdrum star lost in a galaxy tucked away in some forgotten corner of a universe in which there are far more galaxies than people., Carl Sagan, US astronomer popularizer of astronomy (1934 1996)
The universe is not re
The universe is not required to be in perfect harmony with human ambition., Carl Sagan, US astronomer popularizer of astronomy (1934 1996)
Skeptical scrutiny is
Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep insights can be winnowed from deep nonsense., Carl Sagan, US astronomer popularizer of astronomy (1934 1996)
It is of interest to n
It is of interest to note that while some dolphins are reported to have learned English up to fifty words used in correct context no human being has been reported to have learned dolphinese., Carl Sagan, US astronomer popularizer of astronomy (1934 1996)
All of the books in th
All of the books in the world contain no more information than is broadcast as video in a single large American city in a single year. Not all bits have equal value., Carl Sagan, US astronomer popularizer of astronomy (1934 1996)
Knowing how things wor
Knowing how things work is the basis for appreciation, and is thus a source of civilized delight., William Safire, US columnist speechwriter (1929 )
A poor fool indeed is
A poor fool indeed is he who adopts a manner of thinking (meant) for others!, DonatienAlphonseFrancois de Sade,
You say that my way of
You say that my way of thinking cannot be tolerated? What of it? The man who alters his way of thinking to suit others is a fool. My way of thinking is the result of my reflections. It is part of my inner being, the way I am made. I do not contradict them, and would not even if I wished to. For my system, which you disapprove of, is also my greatest comfort in life, the source of all my happiness it means more to me than my life itself., Marquis de Sade,
All military type fire
All military type firearms are to be handed in immediately... The SS, SA and Stahlhelm give every respectable German man the opportunity of campaigning with them. Therefore anyone who does not belong to one of the above named organisations and who unjustifiably nevertheless keeps his weapon... must be regarded as an enemy of the national government., SA Oberfuhrer of Bad Tolz, March, 1933.,
You should never bet a
You should never bet against anything in science at odds of more than about 10.12.2008 to 1., Ernest Rutherford, British chemist physicist (1871 1937)
Sanity calms, but madn
Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting., John Russell,
The important thing is
The important thing is not to stop questioning., Albert Einstein, US (Germanborn) physicist (1879 1955)
Patriotism is the will
Patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons., Bertrand Russell, British author, mathematician, philosopher (1872 1970)
The whole problem with
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts., Bertrand Russell, British author, mathematician, philosopher (1872 1970)
In all things it is a
In all things it is a good idea to hang a question mark now and then on the things we have taken for granted., Bertrand Russell, British author, mathematician, philosopher (1872 1970)
Many people would rath
Many people would rather die than think in fact, most do., Bertrand Russell, British author, mathematician, philosopher (1872 1970)
I long ago came to the
I long ago came to the conclusion that all life is six to five against., Damon Runyon,
The best executive is
The best executive is one who has sense enough to pick good people to do what he wants done, and selfrestraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it., Theodore Roosevelt, 26th president of US (1858 1919)
There is nobody so irr
There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have., Don Herold,
The great virtue of my
The great virtue of my radicalism lies in the fact that I am perfectly ready, if necessary, to be radical on the conservative side., Theodore Roosevelt, 26th president of US (1858 1919)
Do what you can, with
Do what you can, with what you have, where you are., Theodore Roosevelt, 26th president of US (1858 1919)
I think we consider to
I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird, and not enough the bad luck of the early worm., Franklin D. Roosevelt, 32nd president of US (1882 1945)
A conservative is a ma
A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who has never learned to walk., Franklin D. Roosevelt, 32nd president of US (1882 1945)
No one can make you fe
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent., Eleanor Roosevelt, US diplomat reformer (1884 1962)
I have one of those re
I have one of those real old American built cars. The kind that just PUNCHES through accidents., Kevin Rooney,
Disbelief in magic can
Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business., Tom Robbins, US novelist (1936 )
People love high ideal
People love high ideals, but they got to be about 33percent plausible., Will Rogers, US humorist showman (1879 1935)
On account of us being
On account of us being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does., Will Rogers, US humorist showman (1879 1935)
I belong to no organiz
I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat., Will Rogers, US humorist showman (1879 1935)
The more original a di
The more original a discovery, the more obvious it seems afterwards., Arthur Koestler, British (Hungarianborn) author (1905 1983)
Alexander Hamilton sta
Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even., Will Rogers, US humorist showman (1879 1935)
It has beeen said that
It has beeen said that the love of money is the root of all evil. The want of money is so quite as truly., Samuel Butler, English composer, novelist, satiric author (1835 1902)
Money is like muck, no
Money is like muck, not good except it be spread., Sir Francis Bacon, English author, courtier, philosopher (1561 1626)
The discovery of this
The discovery of this strange society was a curiously refreshing thing to realize that there were ten new trades in the world was like looking at the first ship or the first plough. It made a man feel what he should feel, that he was still in the childhood of the world., G. K. Chesterton, The Tremendous Adventures of Major Brown, English author mystery novelist (1874 1936)
Our love is God. Lets
Our love is God. Lets go grab a slushie., J.D., Heathers,
As far as the laws of
As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality., Albert Einstein, US (Germanborn) physicist (1879 1955)
Power tends to corrupt
Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely., Lord Acton, in a letter to Bishop Mandell Creighton, April 3 1887.,
... Nature, whose swee
... Nature, whose sweet rains fall of just and unjust alike, will have clefts in the rocks where I may hide, and secret valleys in whose silence I may weep undetected. She will hang the night with stars so that I may walk abroad in the darkness without stumbling, and send the wind over my footprints so that none may track me to my hurt: she will cleanse me in great waters, and with bitter herbs make me whole., Oscar Wilde, De Profundis, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
That ready wit, which
That ready wit, which you so partially allow me, ... may create many admirers but, take my word for it, it makes few friends. It shines and dazzles like the noonday sun, but, like that, too, it is very apt to scorch, and therefore is always feared. The milder morning and evening light and heat of that planet soothe and calm our minds. Never seek for wit if it present itself, well and good but even then, let your judgement interpose, and take care that it be not at the expense of anybody., Philip Dormer Stanhope, 4th earl of Chesterfield, 1749,
Streets full of water
Streets full of water please advise., Robert Benchley, US actor, author, humorist (1889 1945)
Stone walls do not a p
Stone walls do not a prison make, nor iron bars a cage., Richard Lovelace, To Althea from Prison,
Poets are the unacknow
Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world., Shelley, incomplete, poets,
We must love one anoth
We must love one another and die., W.H. Auden, revised Sept. 1, 1939,
Because he once wrote,
Because he once wrote, We must love one another or die, he can command me to follow him., E.M. Forster,
We must love one anoth
We must love one another or die., W.H. Auden, September 1, 1939,
In the future everyone
In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes., Andy Warhol, US artist (1928 1987)
Do not fear death so m
Do not fear death so much but rather the inadequate life., Bertolt Brecht, German Communist dramatist (1898 1956)
Better to write for yo
Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self., Cyril Connolly, (1903 1974)
I take the view, and a
I take the view, and always have, that if you cannot say what you are going to say in twenty minutes you ought to go away and write a book about it., Lord Brabazon, (1884 1964)
There are two kinds of
There are two kinds of people, those who finish what they start and so on., Robert Byrne,
If Beethoven had been
If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of 22 it would have changed the history of music... and of aviation., Tom Stoppard, British dramatist screenwriter (1937 )
Personally I rather lo
Personally I rather look forward to a computer program winning the world [chess] championship. Humanity needs a lesson in humility., Richard Dawkings:, The Selfish Gene,
Too many have dispense
Too many have dispensed with generosity in order to practice charity., Albert Camus, French existentialist author philosopher (1913 1960)
The modern definition
The modern definition of racist is someone who is winning an argument with a liberal, Peter Brimelow, National Review (2/1/93), ) INSERT INTO `quotes` VALUES (960, One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries., A. A. Milne, English juvenile author (1882 1956)) INSERT INTO `quotes` VALUES (961, Not many people know this ... but I happen to be famous., Sam Malone, Cheers, ) INSERT INTO `quotes` VALUES (962, Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it., George Santayana, US (Spanishborn) philosopher (1863 1952)) INSERT INTO `quotes` VALUES (963, The history of science is everywhere speculative. It is a marvelous hiatory. It makes you proud to be a human being., Karl R. Popper, ) INSERT INTO `quotes` VALUES (964, The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit., Somerset Maugham, ) INSERT INTO `quotes` VALUES (965, When I was oneandtwenty, I heard a wise man say, Give pounds and crowns and guineas, But not your heart away. Give pearls away and rubies, But keep your fancy free." But I was oneandtwenty, No use to talk to me., A.E. Houseman, ) INSERT INTO `quotes` VALUES (966, You can never get the smell of smoke out. Like the smell of failure in life., John Updike, Rabbit Redux, US author (1932 )) INSERT INTO `quotes` VALUES (967, "We are survival machines robot vehicles blindly programmed to preserve the selfish molecules known as genes., Richard Dawkings:, The Selfish Gene,
That old saw about the
That old saw about the early bird just proves that the worm should have stayed in bed., Robert Heinlein, Time Enough For Love, US science fiction author (1907 1988)
I could not say I beli
I could not say I believe. I know! I have had the experience of being gripped by something that is stronger than myself, something that people call God., Carl Jung, Swiss psychologist (1875 1961)
Patriotism is the last
Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel., Samuel Johnson, Letter to Lord Chesterfield, 1775, English author, critic, lexicographer (1709 1784)
The Pope! How many div
The Pope! How many divisions has _he_ got ?, Joseph Stalin, Winston Chuirchill, The Second World War, vol 1, Georgian Soviet politician (1879 1953)
Seek not for fresher f
Seek not for fresher f
I have lived some thir
I have lived some thirty years on this planet and I have yet to hear the first syllable of valuable or even earnest advice from my seniors., Henry David Thoreau, US Transcendentalist author (1817 1862)
Time is what prevents
Time is what prevents everything from happening at once., John Archibald Wheeler, American J. of Physics, 1978 46 323,
When I received the No
When I received the Nobel Prize, the only big lump sum of money I have ever seen, I had to do something with it. The easiest way to drop this hot potato was to invest it, to buy shares. I knew that World War II was coming and I was afraid that if I had shares which rise in case of war, I would wish for war. So I asked my agent to buy shares which go down in the event of war. This he did. I lost my money and saved my soul., Albert SzentGyorgyi, The Crazy Ape,
The best way to predic
The best way to predict the future is to invent it., Alan Kay,
He who joyfully marche
He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would fully suffice. This disgrace to civilization should be done away with at once. Heroism at command, senseless brutality, deplorable patriotism, how violently I hate all this, how despicable and ignoble war is I would rather be torn to shreds than be part of so base an action! It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder., Albert Einstein, US (Germanborn) physicist (1879 1955)
Would you please shut
Would you please shut up and sit down!, George Bush, The World Almanac and Book of Facts, 1993, US Republican politician (1924 )
It is about a socialis
It is about a socialist, antifamily political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians., Pat Robertson, The World Almanac and Book of Facts, 1993,
We believe he wanted t
We believe he wanted to win in the worst way., Don Eslinger, The World Almanac and Book of Facts, 1993,
Your food stamps will
Your food stamps will be stopped effective March, 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances., Greenville County (S.C.) Department of Social Services, The World Almanac and Book of Facts, 1993,
Half of the American p
Half of the American people never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half., Gore Vidal, The World Almanac and Book of Facts, 1993, US author dramatist (1925 )
Many, if not all, of m
Many, if not all, of my presidential opponents are certifiable idiots., Miriam Defensor Santiago, The World Almanac and Book of Facts, 1993,
The society which scor
The society which scorns excellence in plumbing as a humble activity and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because it is an exalted activity will have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy...neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water., John W. Gardner, US administrator (1912 )
...in the lexicon of t
...in the lexicon of the political class, the word sacrifice means that the citizens are supposed to mail even more of their income to Washington so that the political class will not have to sacrifice the pleasure of spending it., George Will, Newsweek, 2/22/93,
The universe is made o
The universe is made of stories, not atoms., Muriel Rukeyser,
Internet is so big, so
Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life., Andrew Brown,
I never did give them
I never did give them hell. I just told the truth, and they thought it was hell., Harry S Truman, in Look, Apr. 3 1956, 33rd president of US (1884 1972)
Is it better to be the
Is it better to be the lover or the loved one? Neither, if your cholesterol is over six hundred. By love, of course, I refer to romantic love the love between man and woman, rather than between mother and child, or a boy and his dog, or two headwaiters., Woody Allen, Without Feathers, US movie actor, comedian, director (1935 )
Whosoever shall not fa
Whosoever shall not fall by the sword or by famine, shall fall by pestilence so why bother shaving?, Woody Allen, Without Feathers, US movie actor, comedian, director (1935 )
Doing abominations is
Doing abominations is against the law, particularly if the abominations are done while wearing a lobster bib., Woody Allen, Without Feathers, US movie actor, comedian, director (1935 )
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A DOE Unbearably lovely music is heard as the curtain rises, and we see the woods on a summer afternoon. A fawn dances on and nibbles slowly at some leaves. He drifts lazily through the soft foliage. Soon he starts coughing and drops dead., Woody Allen, Without Feathers, US movie actor, comedian, director (1935 )
On the plus side, deat
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down., Woody Allen, Without Feathers, US movie actor, comedian, director (1935 )
Thought: why does man
Thought: why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only for food: frequently there must be a beverage., Woody Allen, Without Feathers, US movie actor, comedian, director (1935 )
To be conservative at
To be conservative at 20 is heartless and to be a liberal at 60 is plain idiocy., Sir Winston Churchill, British politician (1874 1965)
To laugh often and muc
To laugh often and much to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends to appreciate beauty to find the best in others to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded., Ralph Waldo Emerson, US essayist poet (1803 1882)
All Bibles are manmade
All Bibles are manmade., Thomas A. Edison, US inventor (1847 1931)
A cult is a religion w
A cult is a religion with no political power., Tom Wolfe, US author journalist (1931 )
Ignorance is king, man
Ignorance is king, many would not prosper by its abdication., "A Canticle for Leibowitz",
A mind forever voyagin
A mind forever voyaging through strange seas of thought, alone., William Wordsworth, English poet (1770 1850)
If a cluttered desk si
If a cluttered desk signs a cluttered mind, Of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?, Albert Einstein.,
Truth is beautiful, wi
Truth is beautiful, without doubt but so are lies., Ralph Waldo Emerson, US essayist poet (1803 1882)
Truth is more of a str
Truth is more of a stranger than fiction., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
The peasants of the As
The peasants of the Asturias believe that in every litter of wolves there is one pup that is killed by the mother for fear that on growing up it would devour the other little ones., Victor Hugo, Les Miserables, French dramatist, novelist, poet (1802 1885)
May you never know hun
May you never know hunger May you love with a full heart The light burn in your eyes May the fire be your friend And the sea rock you gently May the moon light your way Till the wind sets you free, Shriekback, Cradle Song,
Do not meddle in the a
Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger., Tolkien,
The two most evangelic
The two most evangelical groups in the world are atheists and vegetarians, especially the least knowledgeable and least intelligent individuals within those groups., Clark Coleman,
Gratitude is merely th
Gratitude is merely the secret hope of further favors., Francois de La Rochefoucauld, French author moralist (1613 1680)
The inherent vice of c
The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings. The inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of misery., Churchill,
Trapped, like a trap i
Trapped, like a trap in a trap., Dorothy Parker, US author, humorist, poet, wit (1893 1967)
God is the immemorial
God is the immemorial refuge of the incompetent, thehelpless, the miserable. They find not only sanctuary in His arms, but also a kind of superiority, soothing to their macerated egos He will set them above their betters., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
I think there are innu
I think there are innumerable gods. What we here on earth call God is a little tribal God who has made an awful mess. Certainly forces operating trough human conciousness control events., William S. Buroughs, Paris Review, Fall 1965,
Anyone who has got a b
Anyone who has got a book collection and a garden wants for nothing., Cicero, Roman author, orator, politician (106 BC 43 BC)
If language is not cor
If language is not correct, then what is said is not what is meant if what is said is not what is meant, then what must be done remains undone if this remains undone, morals and art will deteriorate if justice goes astray, the people will stand about in helpless confusion. Hence there must be no arbitrariness in what is said. This matters above everything., Confucius, Chinese philosopher reformer (551 BC 479 BC)
In this world of sin a
In this world of sin and sorrow, there is always something to be thankful for as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Oh, the tangled webs w
Oh, the tangled webs we weave When we practice to deceive., Sir Walter Scott, Marmion, Scottish author novelist (1771 1832)
If you want to go some
If you want to go somewhere, goto is the best way to get there., Ken Thompson,
Just think IBM and DE
Just think IBM and DEC in the same room and we did it. Makes you feel warm inside., Ken Thompson,
Suburbia is where the
Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them., Bill Vaughan,
I know nothing., Ken T
I know nothing., Ken Thompson,
SCCS is the sourcecode
SCCS is the sourcecode motel your code checks in but it never checks out., Ken Thompson,
Maybe I should have sc
Maybe I should have screwed up., Ken Thompson,
When in doubt, use bru
When in doubt, use brute force, Ken Thompson,
Faith: not *wanting* t
Faith: not *wanting* to know what is true., Friedrich Nietzsche, German philosopher (1844 1900)
In Christianity neithe
In Christianity neither morality nor religion come into contact with reality at any point., Friedrich Nietzsche, German philosopher (1844 1900)
Politics is no exact s
Politics is no exact science., Otto von Bismark,
I believe that sex is
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy., Steve Martin, US comedian movie actor (1945 )
Those who do not under
Those who do not understand UNIX are condemned to reinvent it badly., Henry Spencer,
A candour affected is
A candour affected is a dagger concealed., Marcus Aurelius Antoninus, Meditations, book 9., Roman Emperor, A.D. 161180 (121 AD 180 AD)
To succeed in the worl
To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be wellmannered., Voltaire, French author, humanist, rationalist, satirist (1694 1778)
A man does not sin by
A man does not sin by commission only, but often by ommission., Marcus Aurelius Antoninus, Meditations, book 9., Roman Emperor, A.D. 161180 (121 AD 180 AD)
To stand up or be set
To stand up or be setup?, Marcus Aurelius Antoninus, Meditations, book 6., Roman Emperor, A.D. 161180 (121 AD 180 AD)
To refrain from imitat
To refrain from imitation is the best revenge., Marcus Aurelius Antoninus, Meditations, book 6., Roman Emperor, A.D. 161180 (121 AD 180 AD)
A little flesh, a litt
A little flesh, a little breath, and a Reason to rule all that is myself., Marcus Aurelius Antoninus, Meditations, book 2., Roman Emperor, A.D. 161180 (121 AD 180 AD)
Where life is possible
Where life is possible at all, a right life is possible life in a palace is possible therefore even in a palace a right life is possible., Marcus Aurelius Antoninus, Meditations, book 5., Roman Emperor, A.D. 161180 (121 AD 180 AD)
It is no measure of he
It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society., Krishnamurti,
When you have read the
When you have read the Bible, you will know it is the word of God, because you will have found it the key to your own heart, your own happiness, and your own duty., Woodrow Wilson, 28th president of US (1856 1924)
If we abide by the pri
If we abide by the principles taught by the Bible, our country will go on prospering., Daniel Webster, US diplomat, lawyer, orator, politician (1782 1852)
A thorough knowledge o
A thorough knowledge of the Bible is worth more than a college education., Theodore Roosevelt, 26th president of US (1858 1919)
The Bible tells us to
The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies probably because generally they are the same people., G.K. Chesterton,
I call that a scumhead
I call that a scumhead., James Joyce, Finnegans Wake, Irish author (1882 1941)
"If you were my husban
"If you were my husband, i would feed you poison." If you were my wife, madam, i would take it!, Lady Astor and William Churchill, ) INSERT INTO `quotes` VALUES (883, I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise., Red Skelton, ) INSERT INTO `quotes` VALUES (884, Coolidge is dead" How could they tell?, Dorothy Parker, US author, humorist, poet, wit (1893 1967)
He has a splendid repe
He has a splendid repertoire of 500 words. Why does he insist on using only 150?, Abba Eban, Israeli (S. Africanborn) diplomat politician (1915 2002)
Too bad all the people
Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxi cabs and cutting hair., George Burns, US actor comedian (1896 1996)
How do you govern a co
How do you govern a country which has 246 different kinds of cheese?, Charles De Gaulle, French general politician (1890 1970)
Life is like an icecre
Life is like an icecream cone, you have to lick it one day at a time., Charles M. Schulz, as Charlie Brown, Peanuts, cartoon strip, US cartoonist (1922 2000)
Pluralitas non ponenda
Pluralitas non ponenda est sine necessitate, Occam,
The Churches must lear
The Churches must learn humility as well as teach it., George Bernard Shaw, St. Joan, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
Without a doubt the gr
Without a doubt the greatest injury of all was done by basing morals on myth. For, sooner or later, myth is recognized for what it is, and disappears. Then morality loses the foundation on which it has been built., Lord Samuel, Romanes Lecture, 1947,
To become a popular re
To become a popular religion, it is only necessary for a superstition to enslave a philosohpy., William Ralph Inge, 1920, English author Anglican prelate (1860 1954)
It is a mistake to sup
It is a mistake to suppose that God is only, or even chiefly, concerned with religion., Archbishop William Temple, 1955,
The world itself is th
The world itself is the will to power and nothing else! And you yourself are the will to power and nothing else!, Friedrich Nietzsche, The Will to Power, German philosopher (1844 1900)
Procrastination is the
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday., Don Marquis, US humorist (1878 1937)
But the only way of di
But the only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible., Arthur C. Clarke, English physicist science fiction author (1917 )
USA Today has come out
USA Today has come out with a new survey apparently, three out of every four people make up 75,00% of the population., Dave Letterman,
Rem tene, verba sequnt
Rem tene, verba sequntur (Keep to the subject, and the words will follow), Cato the Censor (?),
You believe that there
You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that and shudder., Bible, James 02:19:00 (New International Version),
The point of philosoph
The point of philosophy is to start with something so simple as not to seem worth stating, and to end with something so paradoxical that no one will believe it., Bertrand Russell, The Philosophy of Logical Atomism, British author, mathematician, philosopher (1872 1970)
May you be in heaven a
May you be in heaven a half hour before the devil knows your dead, unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
May the road rise to m
May the road rise to meet you, May the wind be always at your back, May the sun shine warm upon your face, the rains fall soft upon your fields and, until we meet again may god hold you in the palm of his hand, unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
Lack of money is no ob
Lack of money is no obstacle. Lack of an idea is an obstacle., Ken Hakuta,
Love is much like a wi
Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm, but willing to draw blood in its defense., Mark A. Overby,
The unexamined life is
The unexamined life is not worth living to a human., Attributed by Plato to Socrates, Apology,
A dog will look up on
A dog will look up on you a cat will look down on you however, a pig will see you eye to eye and know it has found an equal., Churchill,
History will be kind t
History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it., Churchill,
If you choose not to d
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice., Rush (the band), Freewill,
Get your facts first,
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please, Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
We have no government
We have no government armed with power capable of contending with human passions unbridled by morality and religion. Avarice, ambition, revenge or gallantry would break the strongest cords of our Constitution as a whale goes through a net. Our Constitution is designed only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate for any other., John Adams, US diplomat politician (1735 1826)
... Religion ... [is]
... Religion ... [is] the basis and foundation of government ... before any man can be considered as a member of civil society, he must be considered as a subject of the Governor of the Universe., James Madison, 4th president of US (1751 1836)
We have staked the who
We have staked the whole future of American civilization, not upon the power of government, far from it. We have staked the future of all of our political institutions upon the capacity of mankind of selfgovernment upon the capacity of each and all of us to govern ourselves, to control ourselves, to sustain ourselves according to the Ten Commandments of God., James Madison, (attributed), 4th president of US (1751 1836)
A nation which does no
A nation which does not remember what it was yesterday, does not know what it is today, nor what it is trying to do. We are trying to do a futile thing if we do not know where we came from or what we have been about., Woodrow Wilson, 28th president of US (1856 1924)
Make money, money, hon
Make money, money, honestly if you canif not, by any means at all, make money., Quintus Horatius Flaccus [Horace] 65BC 8BC,
Solutions are not the
Solutions are not the answer., Richard Nixon,
Wise men talk because
Wise men talk because they have something to say fools, because they have to say something., Plato, Greek author philosopher in Athens (427 BC 347 BC)
The illiterate of the
The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn., Alvin Toffler,
Dreaming permits each
Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives., William Dement,
Democracy is a process
Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame., Laurence J. Peter, US educator writer (1919 1988)
My work is a game, a v
My work is a game, a very serious game., M. C. Escher, Dutch artist (1898 1972)
What is written withou
What is written without effort is in general read without pleasure., Samuel Johnson, English author, critic, lexicographer (1709 1784)
Never offend people wi
Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance., Sam Brown, Washington Post, 1977,
The young have aspirat
The young have aspirations that never come to pass, the old have reminiscences of what never happened., Saki, British (Burmanborn) short story author (1870 1916)
My theory of evolution
My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted., Steven Wright, US comedian and actor (1955 )
A lot of people mistak
A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience., Doug Larson,
Cynics regarded everyb
Cynics regarded everybody as equally corrupt... Idealists regarded everybody as equally corrupt, except themselves., Robert Anton Wilson,
A little nonsense now
A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men., Roald Dahl, (Willy Wonka) Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, British juvenile author (1916 1990)
Nobody realizes that s
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal., Albert Camus, French existentialist author philosopher (1913 1960)
The most wasted of all
The most wasted of all days is one without laughter., e e cummings, US poet (1894 1962)
It has been my experie
It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues., Abraham Lincoln, 16th president of US (1809 1865)
Punctuality is the vir
Punctuality is the virtue of the bored., Evelyn Waugh, Diaries of Evelyn Waugh (1976), English novelist satirist (1903 1966)
The point of philosoph
The point of philosophy is to start with something so simple as not to seem worth stating, and to end with something so paradoxical that no one will believe it., Bertrand Russell, The Philosophy of Logical Atomism, British author, mathematician, philosopher (1872 1970)
It is by the goodness
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them., Mark Twain, Following the Equator (1897), US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
She had a pretty gift
She had a pretty gift for quotation, which is a serviceable substitute for wit., W. Somerset Maugham, English dramatist novelist (1874 1965)
Grownups never underst
Grownups never understand anything for themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them., Antoine de SaintExupery, The Little Prince, 1943, French writer (1900 1944)
God is a comedian play
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh., Voltaire, French author, humanist, rationalist, satirist (1694 1778)
The most beautiful thi
The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science., Albert Einstein, US (Germanborn) physicist (1879 1955)
In real life, unlike i
In real life, unlike in Shakespeare, the sweetness of the rose depends upon the name it bears. Things are not only what they are. They are, in very important respects, what they seem to be., Hubert H. Humphrey, US politician (1911 1978)
I have found the best
I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it., Harry S Truman, 33rd president of US (1884 1972)
The direct use of forc
The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations., David Friedman,
The real art of conver
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment., Dorothy Nevill,
My definition of a fre
My definition of a free society is a society where it is safe to be unpopular., Adlai E. Stevenson Jr., Speech in Detroit, 7 Oct. 1952, US diplomat Democratic politician (1900 1965)
That you may retain yo
That you may retain your selfrespect, it is better to displease the people by doing what you know is right, than to temporarily please them by doing what you know is wrong., William J. H. Boetcker,
They that can give up
They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety., Benjamin Franklin, Historical Review of Pennsylvania, 1759, US author, diplomat, inventor, physicist, politician, printer (1706 1790)
Words ought to be a li
Words ought to be a little wild for they are the assaults of thought on the unthinking., John Maynard Keynes, English economist (1883 1946)
The key to being a goo
The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided., Casey Stengel, US baseball manager (1890 1975)
Any fool can make a ru
Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it., Henry David Thoreau, US Transcendentalist author (1817 1862)
Whatever you do will b
Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it., Mahatma Gandhi, Indian ascetic nationalist leader (1869 1948)
Education is a progre
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance., Will Durant, US historian (1885 1981)
For every action there
For every action there is an equal and opposite government program., Bob Wells,
Your true value depend
Your true value depends entirely on what you are compared with., Bob Wells,
Everything you can ima
Everything you can imagine is real., Pablo Picasso, Spanish Cubist painter (1881 1973)
Anything not worth doi
Anything not worth doing is worth not doing well. Think about it., Elias Schwartz,
Speak the truth, but l
Speak the truth, but leave immediately after., Slovenian Proverb,
Talking with you is so
Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience., Bill Watterson, Calvin Hobbes, US cartoonist (1958 )
Everyone thinks of cha
Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself., Leo Tolstoy, Russian mystic novelist (1828 1910)
Washington is a city o
Washington is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm., John F. Kennedy, US Democratic politician (1917 1963)
Half our life is spent
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save., Will Rogers, New York TImes, Apr. 29 1930, US humorist showman (1879 1935)
Wars teach us not to l
Wars teach us not to love our enemies, but to hate our allies., W. L. George,
The difference between
The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer., Victor Borge, US (Danishborn) comedian pianist (1909 2000)
His lack of education
His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy., Woody Allen, US movie actor, comedian, director (1935 )
He can compress the mo
He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas of any man I ever met., Abraham Lincoln, 16th president of US (1809 1865)
There is no expedient
There is no expedient to which a man will not go to avoid the labor of thinking., Thomas A. Edison, US inventor (1847 1931)
Television has raised
Television has raised writing to a new low., Samuel Goldwyn, US (Polishborn) movie producer (1882 1974)
The one function TV ne
The one function TV news performs very well is that when there is no news we give it to you with the same emphasis as if there were., David Brinkley, US television newscaster (1920 2003)
Television has done mu
Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it., Alfred Hitchcock, British movie director (1899 1980)
For a list of all the
For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three., Alice Kahn,
The avoidance of taxes
The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any reward., John Maynard Keynes, English economist (1883 1946)
The penalty for succe
The penalty for success is to be bored by the people who used to snub you., Nancy Astor, British politician (1879 1964)
The surest way to make
The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him., Robert Benchley, US actor, author, humorist (1889 1945)
An ardent supporter of
An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens., Robert Benchley, US actor, author, humorist (1889 1945)
Everything is funny as
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to Somebody Else., Will Rogers, Illiterate Digest (1924), Warning to Jokers: lay off the prince, US humorist showman (1879 1935)
One can survive everyt
One can survive everything, nowadays, except death, and live down everything except a good reputation., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
The public will believ
The public will believe anything, so long as it is not founded on truth., Edith Sitwell, English biographer, critic, novelist, poet (1887 1964)
The public is wonderfu
The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius., Oscar Wilde, The Critic as Artist, 1891, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
To err is dysfunctiona
To err is dysfunctional, to forgive codependent., Berton Averre,
Everything in the worl
Everything in the world may be endured except continued prosperity., Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, German dramatist, novelist, poet, scientist (1749 1832)
Usually, terrible thin
Usually, terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress requires them are not really progress at all, but just terrible things., Russell Baker, US columnist journalist (1925 )
Under certain circumst
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
Any American who is pr
Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so., Gore Vidal, US author dramatist (1925 )
If absolute power corr
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?, Harry Shearer,
Politics is perhaps th
Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary., Robert Louis Stevenson, Scottish author (1850 1894)
Politics is the skille
Politics is the skilled use of blunt objects., Lester B. Pearson, Canadian Prime Minister 19631968 (1897 1972)
Politics is the art of
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy., Ernest Benn,
I despise the pleasure
I despise the pleasure of pleasing people that I despise., Lady Mary Wortley Montagu, English letter author poet (1689 1762)
Illusion is the first
Illusion is the first of all pleasures., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
There is only one thin
There is only one thing a philosopher can be relied upon to do, and that is to contradict other philosophers., William James, US Pragmatist philosopher psychologist (1842 1910)
Acting is merely the a
Acting is merely the art of keeping a large group of people from coughing., Sir Ralph Richardson, quoted in New York Herald Tribune, May 19 1946, (1902 1983)
There are more fools i
There are more fools in the world than there are people., Heinrich Heine, German critic poet (1797 1856)
People will buy anythi
People will buy anything that is one to a customer., Sinclair Lewis, US novelist (1885 1951)
Patriotism is your con
Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
You must first have a
You must first have a lot of patience to learn to have patience., Stanislaw J. Lec, Unkempt Thoughts, Polish writer (1909 1966)
Parents were invented
Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore., Ogden Nash, US humorist poet (1902 1971)
I find nothing more de
I find nothing more depressing than optimism., Paul Fussell,
No opera plot can be s
No opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible., W. H. Auden, US (Englishborn) critic poet (1907 1973)
A newspaper consists o
A newspaper consists of just the same number of words, whether there be any news in it or not., Henry Fielding, English dramatist novelist (1707 1754)
This is the devilish t
This is the devilish thing about foreign affairs: they are foreign and will not always conform to our whim., James Reston, New York Times, June 12 1968, (1909 )
Trying to determine wh
Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the time by watching the second hand of a clock., Ben Hecht, US author dramatist (1893 1964)
Dealing with network e
Dealing with network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks., Eric Sevareid,
A nation is a society
A nation is a society united by delusions about its ancestry and by common hatred of its neighbors., William Ralph Inge, English author Anglican prelate (1860 1954)
Classical music is the
Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune., Kin Hubbard, (1868 1930)
The movies are the onl
The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself., Will Rogers, US humorist showman (1879 1935)
The average, healthy,
The average, healthy, welladjusted adult gets up at seventhirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible., Jean Kerr,
There is no moral prec
There is no moral precept that does not have something inconvenient about it., Denis Diderot, French author, encyclopedist, philosopher (1713 1784)
Skill without imaginat
Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art., Tom Stoppard, Artist Descending a Staircase, British dramatist screenwriter (1937 )
Politics is supposed t
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first., Ronald Reagan, 40th president of US (1911 2004)
Truth is more of a str
Truth is more of a stranger than fiction., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
It is by universal mis
It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree., Charles Baudelaire, French poet (1821 1867)
All men are frauds. Th
All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Nothing fixes a thing
Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it., Michel de Montaigne, French essayist (1533 1592)
Why is it that our mem
Why is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person?, Francois de La Rochefoucauld, French author moralist (1613 1680)
Pity the meek, for the
Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth., Don Marquis, US humorist (1878 1937)
We were happily marrie
We were happily married for eight months. Unfortunately, we were married for four and a half years., Nick Faldo,
My fellow Americans, I
My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes., Ronald Reagan, Said during a radio microphone test, 1984, 40th president of US (1911 2004)
The conception of two
The conception of two people living together for twentyfive years without having a cross word suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep., Alan Patrick Herbert,
Man is the only animal
Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them., Samuel Butler, English composer, novelist, satiric author (1835 1902)
It is even harder for
It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
In times of joy, all o
In times of joy, all of us wished we possessed a tail we could wag., W.H. Auden,
We need to make a deci
We need to make a decision, no matter what it is., Dr. Suzanne Botts,
Whenever you find that
Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
There are tones of voi
There are tones of voices that mean more than words., Robert Frost, US poet (1874 1963)
He who fights too long
He who fights too long against dragons becomes a dragon himself and if you gaze too long into the abyss, the abyss will gaze into you., Friedrich Nietzsche, German philosopher (1844 1900)
Do not wrong or hate y
Do not wrong or hate your neighbor, for it is not he that you wrong: You wrong yourself., Shawnee Indian Chant,
I was born on the prai
I was born on the prairies where the wind blew free and there was nothing to break the light of the sun. I was born where there were no enclosures..., Geronimo,
My friends, your peopl
My friends, your people have both intellect and heart you use these to consider in what way you can do the best to live., Spotted Tail (Sioux Indian),
You cannot stand anywh
You cannot stand anywhere in the universe that is outside of yourself., Deepak Chopra,
Lying increases the cr
Lying increases the creative faculties, expands the ego, and lessens the frictions of social contacts., Clare Booth Luce, US diplomat, dramatist, journalist, politician (1903 1987)
No one ever told me gr
No one ever told me grief felt so much like fear., C. S. Lewis, English essayist juvenile novelist (1898 1963)
There is a time for de
There is a time for departure even when there is no certain place to go., Tennessee Williams, US dramatist (1911 1983)
"Nothing for preservin
"Nothing for preserving the body like having no heart.", John PetitSenn,
If the day and the nig
If the day and the night are such that you greet them with with joy, and life emits a fragrance like flowers and sweetscented herbs, more elastic, more starry, more immortalthat is your success., Henry David Thoreau, US Transcendentalist author (1817 1862)
To avoid criticism, do
To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing and be nothing., Elbert Hubbard, US author (1856 1915)
The worst thing you ca
The worst thing you can do for those you love is the things they could and should do themselves., Abraham Lincoln, 16th president of US (1809 1865)
Consider the rights of
Consider the rights of others before your own feelings, and the feelings of others before your own rights., John Wooden, US basketball coach (1910 )
There is no death. Onl
There is no death. Only a change of worlds., Chief Seattle,
Man can believe the im
Man can believe the impossible, but man can never believe the improbable., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
Never judge a book by
Never judge a book by its movie., J. W. Eagan,
Doubts are more cruel
Doubts are more cruel than the worst of truths., Moliere, French actor comic dramatist (1622 1673)
When you see a good ma
When you see a good man, try to emulate his example, and when you see a bad man, search yourself for his faults., Confucious,
The man who follows th
The man who follows the crowd will get no farther than the crowd. A man who walks alone is likely to get places no one has ever been before., Alan AshleyPitt,
The fact that a believ
The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than saying a drunken man is happier than a sober man., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
Not a shred of evidenc
Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious., Brendan Gill,
Success means doing th
Success means doing the best we can with what we have. Success is the doing, not the getting in the trying, not the triumph. Success is a personal standard, reaching for the highest that is in us, becoming all that we can be. If we do our best, we are a success. Success is the maximumutilization of the ability that you have., Zig Ziglar,
It is by not always th
It is by not always thinking of yourself, if you can manage it, that you might somehow be happy. Until you can make room in your life for someone as important to you as yourself, you will always be searching and lost...., Richard Bach,
Far away in the sunshi
Far away in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead., Louisa May Alcott, US juvenile novelist (1832 1888)
Dream lofty dreams, as
Dream lofty dreams, as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you one day shall be: your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil., James Allen,
A slipping gear in you
A slipping gear in your M203 grenade launcher can cause it to fire when you least expect it. This could make you very unpopular with what is left of your unit., Unknown, Army Magazine of Preventive Maintenance, Quotations by unknown authors )
Convictions are the mo
Convictions are the more dangerous enemy of truth than lies., Friedrich Nietzsche, German philosopher (1844 1900)
What is ten thousand y
What is ten thousand years? Time is short for one who thinks, endless for one who yearns., Alain,
When we remember we ar
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
Hatred is the anger of
Hatred is the anger of the weak., Alphonse Daudet,
Intelligence is nothin
Intelligence is nothing without delight., Paul Claudel,
In solitude especialy
In solitude especialy do we begin to appreciate the advantage of living with someone who can think., Henry David Thoreau, US Transcendentalist author (1817 1862)
We are the total of ou
We are the total of our longings., Guy Gavriel Kay,
You may regret your si
You may regret your silence once, but you will regret your words often., Ian Gabirol,
Maybe the gift of any
Maybe the gift of any great person is the power to converse with our own hearts., Randall Wallace,
The only limits are th
The only limits are those of vision., James Broughton,
Only a life lived for
Only a life lived for others is a life worth while., Albert Einstein, US (Germanborn) physicist (1879 1955)
Life is a long lesson
Life is a long lesson in humility., James M. Barrie, Scottish dramatist novelist (1860 1937)
The reward of a thing
The reward of a thing well done is to have done it., Ralph Waldo Emerson, US essayist poet (1803 1882)
A new scientific truth
A new scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and making them to see the light, but rather because its opponents eventually die, and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it., Max Planck,
For most men life is a
For most men life is a search for the proper manila envelope in which to get themselves filed., Clifton Fadiman, US author, editor, radio host (1904 )
Liberals are very broa
Liberals are very broadminded: they are always willing to give careful consideration to both sides of the same side., Anonymous,
Anyone nitpicking enou
Anyone nitpicking enough to write a letter of correction to an editor doubtless deserves the error that provoked it., Alvin Toffler,
An incompetent attorne
An incompetent attorney can delay a trial for months or years. A competent attorney can delay one even longer., Evelle J. Younger,
I believe in equality
I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers., Mahatma Gandhi, Indian ascetic nationalist leader (1869 1948)
There is no such thing
There is no such thing as an underestimate of average intelligence., Henry Adams, US author, autobiographer, historian (1838 1918)
Instant gratification
Instant gratification takes too long., Carrie Fisher, US author movie actress (1956 )
Competence, like truth
Competence, like truth, beauty and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder., Laurence J. Peter, The Peter Principle (1969), chapter 1, US educator writer (1919 1988)
You can be a rank insi
You can be a rank insider as well as a rank outsider., Robert Frost, US poet (1874 1963)
Everybody gets so much
Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense., Gertrude Stein, US author in France (1874 1946)
Both the cockroach and
Both the cockroach and the bird would get along very well without us, although the cockroach would miss us most., Joseph Wood Krutch, US author critic (1893 1970)
The capacity of human
The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Most human beings have
Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted., Aldous Huxley, English critic novelist (1894 1963)
Honesty is the best po
Honesty is the best policy when there is money in it., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
Honesty is a good thin
Honesty is a good thing, but it is not profitable to its possessor unless it is kept under control., Don Marquis, US humorist (1878 1937)
Oh, life is a glorious
Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, A medley of extemporanea And love is a thing that can never go wrong And I am Marie of Romania., Dorothy Parker, Not So Deep as a Well (1937), Comment, US author, humorist, poet, wit (1893 1967)
In Hollywood a marriag
In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk., Rita Rudner, US comedian )
Events in the past may
Events in the past may be roughly divided into those which probably never happened and those which do not matter., William Ralph Inge, English author Anglican prelate (1860 1954)
It is a curious thing.
It is a curious thing... that every creed promises a paradise which will be absolutely uninhabitable for anyone of civilized taste., Evelyn Waugh, English novelist satirist (1903 1966)
To be stupid, selfish,
To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost., Gustave Flaubert, French realist novelist (1821 1880)
One of the keys to hap
One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory., Rita Mae Brown, US author and social activist )
Government is too big
Government is too big and too important to be left to the politicians., Chester Bowles, US diplomat economist (1901 1986)
A good listener is usu
A good listener is usually thinking about something else., Kin Hubbard, (1868 1930)
I agree with everythin
I agree with everything you say, but I would attack to the death your right to say it., Tom Stoppard, British dramatist screenwriter (1937 )
When people are free t
When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other., Eric Hoffer, (1902 1983)
People demand freedom
People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use., Soren Kierkegaard, Danish philosopher (1813 1855)
It is possible to be b
It is possible to be below flattery as well as above it., Thomas Babington Macaulay, English author politician (1800 1859)
If you believe the doc
If you believe the doctors, nothing is wholesome if you believe the theologians, nothing is innocent if you believe the military, nothing is safe., Lord Salisbury,
An expert is a person
An expert is a person who avoids small error as he sweeps on to the grand fallacy., Benjamin Stolberg,
Blessed is he who expe
Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed., Alexander Pope, Letter to Gay, October 6 1727, English poet satirist (1688 1744)
One of the first dutie
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine., Sir William Osler, Aphorisms from his Bedside Teachings 1961 p. 105, British (Canadianborn) physician (1849 1919)
I have never taken any
I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
Equal opportunity mean
Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent., Laurence J. Peter, US educator writer (1919 1988)
People seem to enjoy t
People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out of the pleasure., Russell Baker, US columnist journalist (1925 )
Egotism is the anesthe
Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity., Frank Leahy,
Education... has produ
Education... has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth reading., G. M. Trevelyan, English Social History (1942), British historian (1876 1962)
An economist is a man
An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible., Alfred A. Knopf,
It had only one fault.
It had only one fault. It was kind of lousy., James Thurber, US author, cartoonist, humorist, satirist (1894 1961)
Half of the modern dru
Half of the modern drugs could well be thrown out of the window, except that the birds might eat them., Dr. Martin Henry Fischer,
The quickest way of en
The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it., George Orwell, Polemic, May 1946 Second Thoughts on James Burnham, English essayist, novelist, satirist (1903 1950)
In archaeology you unc
In archaeology you uncover the unknown. In diplomacy you cover the known., Thomas Pickering, US diplomat (1931 )
The only difference be
The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too., Oscar Levant, (1906 1972)
Under democracy one pa
Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule and both commonly succeed, and are right., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
Democracy means govern
Democracy means government by discussion, but it is only effective if you can stop people talking., Clement Atlee,
It was such a lovely d
It was such a lovely day I thought it a pity to get up., W. Somerset Maugham, English dramatist novelist (1874 1965)
Perhaps in time the so
Perhaps in time the socalled Dark Ages will be thought of as including our own., Georg Christoph Lichtenberg, (1742 1799)
Criminal: A person wit
Criminal: A person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation., Howard Scott, (1926 )
Who is rich? He that i
Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody., Benjamin Franklin, US author, diplomat, inventor, physicist, politician, printer (1706 1790)
Our constitution prote
Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators., Will Rogers, US humorist showman (1879 1935)
All animals are equal
All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others., George Orwell, Animal Farm, English essayist, novelist, satirist (1903 1950)
I used to wake up at 4
I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness., James Thurber, US author, cartoonist, humorist, satirist (1894 1961)
A conference is a gath
A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done., Fred Allen, US radio comedian (1894 1956)
The computer is a moro
The computer is a moron., Peter Drucker,
Let us make a special
Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation., Judith Martin, (Miss Manners),
Not even computers wil
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers., Edward Shepherd Mead,
The advantage of a cla
The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth that it prevents you from achieving., Russell Green,
Never raise your hand
Never raise your hand to your children it leaves your midsection unprotected., Robert Orben,
I am just going outsid
I am just going outside and may be some time., Captain Lawrence Oates, last words, (1880 1912)
A happy childhood is p
A happy childhood is poor preparation for human contacts., Colette, French novelist (1873 1954)
Early morning cheerful
Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious., William Feather, (1908 1976)
A celebrity is a perso
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized., Fred Allen, US radio comedian (1894 1956)
Is fuel efficiency rea
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperatelly? I say that what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down., Russell Baker, US columnist journalist (1925 )
The big thieves hang t
The big thieves hang the little ones., Czech Proverb,
Most modern calendars
Most modern calendars mar the sweet simplicity of our lives by reminding us that each day that passes is the anniversary of some perfectly uninteresting event., Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
I always wanted to be
I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific., Jane Wagner, (and Lily Tomlin),
This paperback is very
This paperback is very interesting, but I find it will never replace a hardcover book it makes a very poor doorstop., Alfred Hitchcock, British movie director (1899 1980)
I find it rather easy
I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me., John Cleese, English actor comedian (1939 )
Hell hath no fury like
Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned., Milton Friedman, US economist (1912 )
The only thing that sa
The only thing that saves us from the bureaucracy is inefficiency. An efficient bureaucracy is the greatest threat to liberty., Eugene McCarthy, Time magazine, Feb. 12 1979, US politician (1916 )
Bureaucrats write memo
Bureaucrats write memoranda both because they appear to be busy when they are writing and because the memos, once written, immediately become proof that they were busy., Charles Peters,
Bureaucracy defends th
Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status., Laurence J. Peter, US educator writer (1919 1988)
Every improvement in c
Every improvement in communication makes the bore more terrible., Frank Moore Colby,
What a blessing it wou
What a blessing it would be if we could open and shut our ears as easily as we open and shut our eyes!, Georg Christoph Lichtenberg, (1742 1799)
Banking establishments
Banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies., Thomas Jefferson, 3rd president of US (1743 1826)
Life is a foreign lang
Life is a foreign language all men mispronounce it., Christopher Morley, US author journalist (1890 1957)
The real problem is no
The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do., B. F. Skinner, US psychologist (1904 1990)
No degree of dullness
No degree of dullness can safeguard a work against the determination of critics to find it fascinating., Harold Rosenberg,
It is not necessary to
It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them., Pierre Beaumarchais, French businessman comic dramatist (1732 1799)
Appreciation is a wond
Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well., Voltaire, French author, humanist, rationalist, satirist (1694 1778)
Americans adore me and
Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
The eleventh commandme
The eleventh commandment Thou shalt not be found out is the only one that is virtually impossible to keep these days., Berta Buxton,
I stopped believing in
I stopped believing in Santa Claus at age six when my mother took me to see him in a store and he asked for my autograph., Shirley Temple Black,
I refuse to believe th
I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tunafish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock., Barbara Grizzuti Harrison,
I have too many fantas
I have too many fantasies to be a housewife. I guess I am a fantasy., Marilyn Monroe, US actress (1926 1962)
Marriage is not just s
Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash., Dr. Joyce Brothers, US psychologist television personality (1928 )
Writers should be read
Writers should be read but not seen. Rarely are they a winsome sight., Edna Ferber, US author (1887 1968)
Women are at last beco
Women are at last becoming persons first and wives second, and that is as it should be., May Sarton,
A vacation frequently
A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by mother, who sees that the others get it., Marcelene Cox,
When you are unhappy,
When you are unhappy, is there anything more maddening than to be told that you should be contented with your lot?, Kathleen Norris,
Those who are unhappy
Those who are unhappy have no need for anything in this world but people capable of giving them their attention., Simone Weil, French social philosopher (1909 1943)
Truth is always exciti
Truth is always exciting. Speak it, then, Life is dull without it., Pearl Buck, US novelist in China (1892 1973)
Americans detest all l
Americans detest all lies except lies spoken in public or printed lies., Edgar Watson Howe, US journalist (1853 1937)
The tourist may compla
The tourist may complain of other tourists, but he would be lost without them., Agnes Repplier, US essayist (1855 1950)
If you realize too acu
If you realize too acutely how valuable time it, you are too paralyzed to do anything., Katharine Butler Hathaway,
Everyone has talent. W
Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow talent to the dark place where it leads., Erica Jong,
It it not good to see
It it not good to see people who have been pretending strength all their lives lose it even for a minute., Lillian Hellman, US dramatist (1905 1984)
I like people who refu
I like people who refuse to speak until they are ready to speak., Lillian Hellman, US dramatist (1905 1984)
Who would ever think t
Who would ever think that so much went on in the soul of a young girl?, Anne Frank, German Jewish diarist (1929 1945)
All sins are attempts
All sins are attempts to fill voids., Simone Weil, French social philosopher (1909 1943)
The quickest way to kn
The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her., Marcelene Cox,
There are three social
There are three social classes in America: upper middle class, middle class, and lower middle class., Judith Martin, (Miss Manners),
To be a saint does not
To be a saint does not exclude fine dresses nor a beautiful house., Katherine Tynan Hinkson,
I am treating you as m
I am treating you as my friend asking you share my present minuses in the hope I can ask you to share my future pluses., Katherine Mansfield, New Zealand short story author (1888 1923)
Eating without convers
Eating without conversation is only stoking., Marcelene Cox,
Have you ever taken so
Have you ever taken something out of the clothes hamper because it had become, relatively, the cleanest thing?, Katharine Whitehorn,
My mother is such a lo
My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow., Rita Rudner, US comedian )
Humor distorts nothing
Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their pedestals., Agnes Repplier, US essayist (1855 1950)
Hope is a thing with f
Hope is a thing with feathers That perches in the soul, And sings the tune without words And never stops at all., Emily Dickinson, US poet (1830 1886)
To be a hero or a hero
To be a hero or a heroine, one must give an order to oneself., Simone Weil, French social philosopher (1909 1943)
Perhaps, after all, Am
Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected., Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray, 1891, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
They say that God is e
They say that God is everywhere, and yet we always think of Him as somewhat of a recluse., Emily Dickinson, US poet (1830 1886)
My passport photo is o
My passport photo is one of the most remarkable photographs I have ever seen no retouching, no shadows, no flattery just stark me., Anne Morrow Lindbergh,
Baby: an alimentary ca
Baby: an alimentary canal with a loud voice at one end and no responsibility at the other., Elizabeth Adamson,
People with bad consci
People with bad consciences always fear the judgement of children., Mary McCarthy,
Every man wants a woma
Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts, and his higher nature and another woman to help him forget them., Helen Rowland, (1876 1950)
To love deeply in one
To love deeply in one direction makes us more loving in all others., Madame Swetchine,
It is really asking to
It is really asking too much of a woman to expect her to bring up her husband and her children too., Lillian Bell,
Changing husbands is o
Changing husbands is only changing troubles., Kathleen Norris,
What a pity, when Chri
What a pity, when Christopher Colombus discovered America, that he ever mentioned it., Margot Asquith,
Most people ignore mos
Most people ignore most poetry because most poetry ignores most people., Adrian Mitchell,
Everyone makes a great
Everyone makes a greater effort to hurt other people than to help himself., Alexis Carrel, French biologist surgeon (1873 1944)
Elegance is refusal.,
Elegance is refusal., Coco Chanel, French fashion designer perfumer (1883 1971)
The argument of the br
The argument of the broken pane of glass is the most valuable argument in modern politics., Emmeline Pankhurst,
A woman can look book
A woman can look book moral and exciting ... if she also looks as if it was quite a struggle., Edna Ferber, US author (1887 1968)
Behind almost every wo
Behind almost every woman you ever heard of stands a man who let her down., Naomi Bliven,
All really great lover
All really great lovers are articulate, and verbal seduction is the surest road to actual seduction., Marya Mannes,
Plain women know more
Plain women know more about men than beautiful ones do., Katharine Hepburn, US actress (1907 2003)
Before a war, military
Before a war, military science seems a real science, like astronomy. After a war it seems more like astrology., Dame Rebecca West,
War has become a luxur
War has become a luxury that only small nations can afford., Hannah Arendt, US (Germanborn) historian social philosopher (1906 1975)
If you stop to be kind
If you stop to be kind, you must swerve often from your path., Mary Webb,
Virtue has its own rew
Virtue has its own reward, but no box office., Mae West, US movie actress (1892 1980)
On a plane you can pic
On a plane you can pick up more and better people than on any other public conveyance since the stagecoach., Anita Loos,
There are days when an
There are days when any electrical appliance in the house, including the vacuum cleaner, offers more entertainment than the TV set., Harriet Van Horne.,
It is a common delusio
It is a common delusion that you can make things better by talking about them., Dame Rose Macauley,
The United States is a
The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced., Frank Zappa, US musician, singer, songwriter (1940 1993)
Most conversations are
Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of a witness., Margaret Miller,
The telephone is a goo
The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink., Fran Lebowitz, US writer and humorist (1950 )
I am one of those unha
I am one of those unhappy persons who inspire bores to the greatest flights of art., Dame Edith Sitwell,
I fear nothing so much
I fear nothing so much as a man who is witty all day long., Madame de Sevigne,
Listening, not imitati
Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerest form of flattery., Dr. Joyce Brothers, US psychologist television personality (1928 )
There are men I could
There are men I could spend eternity with. but not this life., Kathleen Norris,
To err is human, but i
To err is human, but is feels divine., Mae West, US movie actress (1892 1980)
Whatever else can be s
Whatever else can be said about sex, it cannot be called a dignified performance., Helen Lawrenson,
The trouble with Ameri
The trouble with America is that there are far too many wideopen spaces surrounded by teeth., Charles Luckman,
When I appear in publi
When I appear in public, people expect me to neigh, grind my teeth paw the ground and swish my tail none of which is easy., Princess Anne,
I succeeded by saying
I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking., Joan Rivers, US comedienne (1935 )
The head never rules t
The head never rules the heart, but just becomes its partner in crime., Mignon McLaughlin,
It is a common enough
It is a common enough case, that of a man being suddenly captivated by a woman nearly the opposite of his ideal., George Eliot, English novelist (1819 1880)
Romance is the glamour
Romance is the glamour which turns the dust of everyday life into a golden haze., Elinor Glyn,
Sanity is a cozy lie.,
Sanity is a cozy lie., Susan Sontag, US author critic (1933 )
It was wonderful to fi
It was wonderful to fi
Power is the ability n
Power is the ability not to have to please., Elizabeth Janeway,
One should only see a
One should only see a psychiatrist out of boredom., Muriel Spark, British author (1918 )
I prefer liberty to ch
I prefer liberty to chains of diamonds., Lady Mary Wortley Montagu, English letter author poet (1689 1762)
The First Lady is an u
The First Lady is an unpaid public servant elected by one person her husband., Lady Bird Johnson, US wife of Lyndon Johnson 1934 (1912 )
They say that women ta
They say that women talk too much. If you have worked in congress you know that the filibuster was invented by men., Clare Booth Luce, US diplomat, dramatist, journalist, politician (1903 1987)
Politician talk themse
Politician talk themselves red, white, and blue in the face., Clare Booth Luce, US diplomat, dramatist, journalist, politician (1903 1987)
I wish the government
I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent., Dame Edith Sitwell,
I believe in censorshi
I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it., Mae West, US movie actress (1892 1980)
I was born at the age
I was born at the age of twelve on an MGM lot., Judy Garland, US actress singer (1922 1969)
Some couples go over t
Some couples go over their budgets very carefully every month, other just go over them., Sally Poplin,
The first time Adam ha
The first time Adam had a chance, he laid the blame on woman., Nancy Astor, British politician (1879 1964)
No nice men are good a
No nice men are good at getting taxis., Katharine Whitehorn,
In the arithmetic of l
In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing., Mignon McLaughlin,
Never give up and neve
Never give up and never face the facts., Ruth Gordon,
Love is the difficult
Love is the difficult realization that something other than oneself is real., Iris Murdoch, British novelist (1919 1999)
Loves conquers all thi
Loves conquers all things except poverty and toothache., Mae West, US movie actress (1892 1980)
In love there are thin
In love there are things bodies and words., Joyce Carol Oates, US author (1938 )
The rule is perfect: i
The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane., Mark Twain, in Christian Science, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
To fall in love you ha
To fall in love you have to be in the state of mind for it to take, like a disease., Nancy Mitford,
Excessive literary pro
Excessive literary production is a social offense., George Eliot, a.k.a. Mary Ann Evans, English novelist (1819 1880)
Experience: A comb lif
Experience: A comb life gives you after you lose your hair., Judith Stern,
The woman whose behavi
The woman whose behavior indicates that she will make a scene if she is told the truth asks to be deceived., Elizabeth Jenkins,
A lady is one who neve
A lady is one who never shows her underwear unintentionally., Lillian Day,
I have flabby thighs,
I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them., Joan Rivers, US comedienne (1935 )
There is nothing like
There is nothing like a good dose of another woman to make a man appreciate his wife., Clare Booth Luce, US diplomat, dramatist, journalist, politician (1903 1987)
The world wants to be
The world wants to be cheated. So cheat., Xaviera Hollander,
If the world were a lo
If the world were a logical place, men would ride side saddle., Rita Mae Brown, US author and social activist )
Friendship is not poss
Friendship is not possible between two women, one of whom is very well dressed., Laurie Colwin,
We can lie in the lang
We can lie in the language of dress or try ot tell the truth but unless we are naked and bald, it is impossible to be silent., Alison Lurie,
If it were natural for
If it were natural for father to care for their sons, they would not need so many laws commanding them to do so., Phyllis Chesler,
Egotism usually just
Egotism usually just a case of mistaken nonentity., Barbara Stanwyck,
Lack of education is a
Lack of education is an extraordinary handicap when one is being offensive., Josephine Tey,
It is easier to live t
It is easier to live through someone else than to become complete yourself., Betty Friedan,
All creative people sh
All creative people should be required to leave California for three months every year., Gloria Swanson, US actress (1899 1983)
There is not one femal
There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl., Joan Rivers, US comedienne (1935 )
Actions lie louder tha
Actions lie louder than words., Carolyn Wells,
My husband said he wan
My husband said he wanted to have a relationship with a redhead, so I dyed my hair., Jane Fonda,
Some people say that c
Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well., Missy Dizick,
The lovely thing about
The lovely thing about being forty is that you can appreciate twentyfive yearold men more., Collen McCullough,
Acting is standing up
Acting is standing up naked and turning around very slowly., Rosalind Russell,
Literature is strewn w
Literature is strewn with the wreckage of those who have minded beyond reason the opinion of others., Virginia Woolf, English novelist (1882 1941)
I would venture to gue
I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a woman., Virginia Woolf, English novelist (1882 1941)
I love acting. It is s
I love acting. It is so much more real than life., Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray, 1891, Irish dramatist, novelist, poet (1854 1900)
This Englishwoman is s
This Englishwoman is so refined She has no bosom and no behind., Stevie Smith,
If you educate a man y
If you educate a man you educate a person, but if you educate a woman you educate a family., Ruby Manikan,
Good girls go to heave
Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere., Helen Gurley Brown,
The penalty of success
The penalty of success is to be bored by people who used to snub you., Nancy Astor, British politician (1879 1964)
It is better to be loo
It is better to be looked over than overlooked., Mae West, US movie actress (1892 1980)
By whom?, Dorothy Park
By whom?, Dorothy Parker, when told she was outspoken, US author, humorist, poet, wit (1893 1967)
My personal hobbies ar
My personal hobbies are reading, listening to music, and silence., Edith Sitwell, English biographer, critic, novelist, poet (1887 1964)
If someone wants a she
If someone wants a sheep, then that means that he exists., Antoine de SaintExupery, The Little Prince, French writer (1900 1944)
Puritanism: The haunti
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
When a man meets catas
When a man meets catastrophe on the road, he looks in his purse, but a woman looks in her mirror., Margaret Turnbull,
I never realized until
I never realized until lately that women were supposed to be the inferior sex., Katharine Hepburn, US actress (1907 2003)
When women go wrong, m
When women go wrong, men go right after them., Mae West, US movie actress (1892 1980)
I never see what has b
I never see what has been done I only see what remains to be done., Madame Curie,
The prostitute is the
The prostitute is the only honest woman left in America., TyGrace Atkinson,
Oregano is the spice o
Oregano is the spice of life., Henry J. Tillman,
Nothing succeeds like
Nothing succeeds like address., Fran Lebowitz, US writer and humorist (1950 )
If pregnancy were a bo
If pregnancy were a book they would cut the last two chapters., Nora Ephron,
The two most beautiful
The two most beautiful words in the English language are ``check enclosed.\, Dorothy Parker, US author, humorist, poet, wit (1893 1967)
The main difference be
The main difference between men and women is that men are lunatics and women are idiots., Rebecca West, Irish critic, journalist, novelist (1892 1983)
God is love, but get i
God is love, but get it in writing., Gypsy Rose Lee, US actress stripper (1914 1970)
My favorite animal is
My favorite animal is steak., Fran Lebowitz, US writer and humorist (1950 )
The best way to keep c
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant and let the air out of their tires., Dorothy Parker, US author, humorist, poet, wit (1893 1967)
This is not a novel to
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force., Dorothy Parker, book review, US author, humorist, poet, wit (1893 1967)
I feel like a million
I feel like a million tonight but one at a time., Mae West, US movie actress (1892 1980)
I married a German. Ev
I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me., Bette Midler, US actress, comedienne, singer (1945 )
Going to the opera, li
Going to the opera, like getting drunk, is a sin that carries its own punishment with it., Hannah More, 1775,
I feel sure that no gi
I feel sure that no girl would go to the altar if she knew all., Queen Victoria,
You should always beli
You should always believe what you read in the newspapers, for that makes them more interesting., Rose Macauley,
What a pity, when Chri
What a pity, when Christopher Columbus discovered America, that he ever mentioned it., Margot Asquith,
The average man, who d
The average man, who does not know what to do with his life, wants another one which will last forever., Anatole France, French novelist (1844 1924)
I was raised almost en
I was raised almost entirely on turnips and potatoes, but I think that the turnips had more to do with the effect than the potatoes., Marlene Dietrich, German movie actress (1901 1992)
I love children espec
I love children especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away., Nancy Mitford,
The cry of equality pu
The cry of equality pulls everyone down., Iris Murdoch, British novelist (1919 1999)
For what do we live, b
For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbors and laugh at them in our turn?, Jane Austen, English novelist (1775 1817)
No more tears now I wi
No more tears now I will think about revenge., Mary Queen of Scots,
Family dinners are mor
Family dinners are more often than not an ordeal of nervous indigestion, preceded by hidden resentment and ennui and accompanied by psychosomatic jitters., M. F. K. Fisher,
What my mother believe
What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you., Nora Ephron,
Cooking is like love.
Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all., Harriet Van Horne,
Whenever I get married
Whenever I get married I start buying Gourmet Magazine., Nora Ephron,
My father was often an
My father was often angry when I was most like him., Lillian Hellman, US dramatist (1905 1984)
Life is a banquet, and
Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving., Rosalind Russell, as Aunti Mame,
The way to do research
The way to do research is to attack the facts at the point of greatest astonishment., Celia Green,
Until you lose your re
Until you lose your re
Striving for excellenc
Striving for excellence motivates you striving for perfection is demoralizing., Harriet Braiker,
Mothers, food, love, a
Mothers, food, love, and career, the four major guilt groups., Cathy Guisewite,
For the skeptic there
For the skeptic there remains only one consolation: if there should be such a thing as superhuman law it is administered with subhuman inefficiency., Eric Ambler,
Mothers are a biologic
Mothers are a biological necessity fathers are a social invention., Margaret Mead, US anthropologist popularizer of anthropology (1901 1978)
There exists no politi
There exists no politician in India daring enough to attempt to explain to the masses that cows can be eaten., Indira Gandhi, Indian politician (1917 1984)
The bitterest tears sh
The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone., Harriet Beecher Stowe, US abolitionist novelist (1811 1896)
Daughters go into anal
Daughters go into analysis hating their fathers and come out hating their mothers. They never come out hating themselves., Laurie Jo Wojcik,
Fortunately, psychoana
Fortunately, psychoanalysis is not the only way to resolve inner conflicts. Life itself remains a very effective therapist., Karen Horney,
When you were quite a
When you were quite a little boy, somebody ought to have said ``hush\ just once., Mrs Patrick Campbell, to George Bernard Shaw,
Politeness is half goo
Politeness is half good manners and half good lying., Mary Wilson Little,
Each has his past shut
Each has his past shut in him like the leaves of a book known to him by heart and his friends can only read the title., Virginia Woolf, English novelist (1882 1941)
They are ill discovere
They are ill discoverers that think there is no land, when they can see nothing but sea., Sir Francis Bacon, English author, courtier, philosopher (1561 1626)
Dear Mary: We all knew
Dear Mary: We all knew you had it in you., Dorothy Parker, telegram to friend who had given birth, US author, humorist, poet, wit (1893 1967)
This is on me., Doroth
This is on me., Dorothy Parker, suggested for her tombstone, US author, humorist, poet, wit (1893 1967)
As I grow older and ol
As I grow older and older, And totter toward the tomb, I find that I care less and less Who goes to bed with whom., Dorothy Sayers,
In New York City, ever
In New York City, everyone is an exile, none more so than the Americans., Charlotte Perkins Gilman,
I do not want people t
I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me that trouble of liking them., Jane Austen, English novelist (1775 1817)
We met Dr. Hall in suc
We met Dr. Hall in such deep mourning that either his mother, his wife, or himself must be dead., Jane Austen, English novelist (1775 1817)
The easiest way for yo
The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any., Katharine Whitehorn,
Where large sums of mo
Where large sums of money are concerned, it is advisable to trust nobody., Agatha Christie, English mystery author (1890 1976)
Interestingly, accordi
Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things., Woody Allen, US movie actor, comedian, director (1935 )
Probably the only plac
Probably the only place where a man can feel really secure is in a maximum security prison, except for the imminent threat of release., Germaine Greer,
A man is so in the way
A man is so in the way in the house., Elizabeth Gaskell,
One cannot be always l
One cannot be always laughing at a man without now and then stumbling on something witty., Jane Austen, English novelist (1775 1817)
Women want mediocre me
Women want mediocre men, and men are working to become as mediocre as possible., Margaret Mead, US anthropologist popularizer of anthropology (1901 1978)
The ultimate indignity
The ultimate indignity is to be given a bedpan by a stranger who calls you by your first name., Maggie Kuhn,
It should be a very ha
It should be a very happy marriage they are both so much in love with him., Irene Thomas,
When you see what some
When you see what some women marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living., Helen Rowland, (1876 1950)
Being an old maid is l
Being an old maid is like death by drowning, a really delightful sensation after you cease to struggle., Edna Ferber, US author (1887 1968)
Nobody speaks the trut
Nobody speaks the truth when there is something they must have., Elizabeth Bowen, Irish novelist short story author (1899 1973)
She tells enough white
She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake., Margot Asquith,
Every little girl know
Every little girl knows about love. It is only her capacity to suffer because of it that increases., Francois Sagan,
Falling out of love is
Falling out of love is very enlightening. For a short while you see the world with new eyes., Iris Murdoch, British novelist (1919 1999)
In Hollywood, an equit
In Hollywood, an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty percent of publicity., Lauren Bacall,
Van Gogh became a pain
Van Gogh became a painter because he had no ear for music., Nikki Harris,
Most men who are not m
Most men who are not married by the age of thirtyfive are either homosexual or really smart., Becky Rodenbeck,
A conservative is a ma
A conservative is a man who sits and thinks, mostly sits., Woodrow Wilson, 28th president of US (1856 1924)
Living in a vacuum suc
Living in a vacuum sucks., Adrienne Gusoff,
When mom found my diap
When mom found my diaphram, I told her it was a bathing cap for my cat., Liz Winston,
There are some people
There are some people who leave impressions not so lasting as the imprint of an oar upon the water., Kate Chopin,
I am ashamed of confe
I am ashamed of confessing that I have nothing to confess., Fanny Burney,
You cannot shake hands
You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist., Indira Gandhi, Indian politician (1917 1984)
The older one grows, t
The older one grows, the more one likes indecency., Virginia Woolf, English novelist (1882 1941)
Imagination and fictio
Imagination and fiction make up more than three quarters of our real life., Simone Weil, French social philosopher (1909 1943)
Man is the only animal
Man is the only animal that learns by being hypocritical. He pretends to be polite and then, eventually, he _becomes_ polite., Jean Kerr,
Our ability to delude
Our ability to delude ourselves may be an important survival tool., Jane Wagner,
Doctors and nurses are
Doctors and nurses are people who give you medicine until you die., Deborah Martin,
Humor is the first of
Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue., Virginia Woolf, English novelist (1882 1941)
Different taste in jok
Different taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections., George Eliot, English novelist (1819 1880)
One of the most diffic
One of the most difficult things to contend with in a hospital is that assumption on the part of the staff that because you have lost your gall bladder you have also lost your mind., Jean Kerr,
I thought I told you t
I thought I told you to wait in the car., Tallulah Bankhead, on seeing a former lover for the first time in years, US movie actress (1903 1968)
Once a woman has forgi
Once a woman has forgiven a man, she must not reheat his sins for breakfast., Marlene Dietrich, German movie actress (1901 1992)
Two paradoxes are bett
Two paradoxes are better than one they may even suggest a solution., Edward Teller, US (Hungarianborn) physicist (1908 2003)
People call me a femin
People call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute., Rebecca West, Irish critic, journalist, novelist (1892 1983)
It is better to be unf
It is better to be unfaithful than to be faithful without wanting to be., Brigitte Bardot,
Every year, back come
Every year, back come Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants., Dorothy Parker, US author, humorist, poet, wit (1893 1967)
One has a greater sens
One has a greater sense of degradation after an interview with a doctor than from any human experience., Alice Jones,
The most merciful thin
The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents., H. P. Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu, first line, US horror supernatural author (1890 1937)
Cynicism is an unpleas
Cynicism is an unpleasant way of telling the truth., Lillian Hellman, US dramatist (1905 1984)
Ever notice that Soup
Ever notice that Soup For One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?, Elayne Boosler,
Politeness is one half
Politeness is one half good nature and the other half good lying., Mary Wilson Little,
A good listener is not
A good listener is not someone with nothing to say. A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat., Katharine Whitehorn,
We want far better rea
We want far better reasons for having children than not knowing how to prevent them., Dora Russell,
Say what you want abou
Say what you want about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins., Mae West, US movie actress (1892 1980)
A food is not necessar
A food is not necessarily essential just because your child hates it., Katharine Whitehorn,
Try to learn something
Try to learn something about everything and everything about something., Thomas H. Huxley, English biologist (1825 1895)
God forbid that any bo
God forbid that any book should be banned. The practice is as indefensible as infanticide., Rebecca West, Irish critic, journalist, novelist (1892 1983)
There are no ugly wome
There are no ugly women, only lazy ones., Helena Rubenstein,
Never trust a husband
Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near., Helen Rowland, (1876 1950)
The worst moment for a
The worst moment for an atheist is when he feels grateful and has no one to thank., Wendy Ward,
Art is one thing that
Art is one thing that can go on mattering once it has stopped hurting., Elizabeth Bowen, Irish novelist short story author (1899 1973)
His voice was a intima
His voice was a intimate as the rustle of sheets., Dorothy Parker, US author, humorist, poet, wit (1893 1967)
A book of quotations .
A book of quotations . . . can never be complete., Robert M. Hamilton,
Having something to sa
Having something to say is overrated., Adair Lara,
Things are always dark
Things are always darkest just before they go pitch black., Kelly Robinson,
The sins of the father
The sins of the fathers are often visited upon the sonsinlaw., Joan Kiser,
I married the first ma
I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell my children that they just about throw up., Barbara Bush, US wife of George Bush 1945 (1925 )
An intellectual snob i
An intellectual snob is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture and not think of The Lone Ranger., Dan Rather, US television newscaster (1931 )
Behind every successfu
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman., Maryon Pearson,
My motherinlaw had a p
My motherinlaw had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee., Phyllis Diller,
Life is hard. After al
Life is hard. After all, it kills you., Katherine Hepburn,
The only aspect of our
The only aspect of our travels that is interesting to others is disaster., Martha Gellman,
Travel, instead of bro
Travel, instead of broadening the mind, often merely lengthens the conversation., Elizabeth Drew,
Life is uncertain. Eat
Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first., Ernestine Ulmer,
My mother loved childr
My mother loved children she would have given anything if I had been one., Groucho Marx, US comedian with Marx Brothers (1890 1977)
Sex is a bad thing bec
Sex is a bad thing because it rumples the clothes., Jackie Onassis,
Lead me not into tempt
Lead me not into temptation I can find the way myself., Rita Mae Brown, US author and social activist )
How many husbands have
How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own?, Zsa Zsa Gabor, US (Hungarianborn) actress (1919 )
Never do anything your
Never do anything yourself that others can do for you., Agatha Christie, English mystery author (1890 1976)
Opportunity knocked. M
Opportunity knocked. My doorman threw him out., Adrienne Gusoff,
I tried to commit suic
I tried to commit suicide by sticking my head in the oven, but there was a cake in it., Lesley Boone.,
I rely on my personali
I rely on my personality for birth control., Liz Winston,
Laziness is nothing mo
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired., Jules Renard, (1864 1910)
If Shakespeare had to
If Shakespeare had to go on an author tour to promote Romeo and Juliet, he never would have written Macbeth., Dr. Joyce Brothers, US psychologist television personality (1928 )
When the sun comes up,
When the sun comes up, I have morals again., Elayne Boosler,
A hundred years for no
A hundred years for now? All new people., Anne Lamott,
Brevity is the soul of
Brevity is the soul of lingerie., Dorothy Parker, US author, humorist, poet, wit (1893 1967)
Anyone with more than
Anyone with more than 365 pair of shoes is a pig., Barbara Melser Lieberman,
It is the mark of an e
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it., Aristotle, Greek critic, philosopher, physicist, zoologist (384 BC 322 BC)
To achieve the impossi
To achieve the impossible dream, try going to sleep., Joan Klempner,
Her only flair is in h
Her only flair is in her nostrils., Pauline Kael,
We owe something to ex
We owe something to extravagance, for thrift and adventure seldom go hand in hand., Jenny Jerome Churchill,
Give a man a fish and
Give a man a fish and he has food for a day teach him how to fish and you can get rid of him of the entire weekend., Zenna Schaffer,
To attract men, I wear
To attract men, I wear a perfume called ``New Car Interior.\, Rita Rudner, US comedian )
Always be nice to your
Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home., Phyllis Diller,
I told my motherinlaw
I told my motherinlaw that my house was her house, and she said, ``Get the hell off my property.\, Joan Rivers, US comedienne (1935 )
In New York City, one
In New York City, one suicide in ten is attributed to a lack of storage space., Judith Stone,
Giving birth is like t
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head., Carole Burnett,
I come from a family w
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage., Erma Bombeck, US author humorist (1927 1996)
Canadians are cold so
Canadians are cold so much of the time that many of them leave instructions to be cremated., Cynthia Nelms,
I never realized until
I never realized until lately that women were supposed to be inferior., Katherine Hepburn,
Not only have women be
Not only have women been successful in entering fields in which men are supposed to have a more natural aptitude, but they have created entirely new businesses., Lucretia P. Hunter, ``The Girl Today, The Woman Tomorrow\, 1932,
Fortune does not chang
Fortune does not change men, it unmasks them., Suzanne Necker, (1739 1794)
The trouble with some
The trouble with some women is they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him., Cher, US actress singer (1946 )
The natural superiorit
The natural superiority of women is a biological fact, and a socially acknowledged reality., Ashely Montagu,
Man forgives woman any
Man forgives woman anything save the wit to outwit him., Minna Antrim,
Fashion is something t
Fashion is something that goes in one year and out the other., Denise Klahn,
Instant gratification
Instant gratification is not soon enough., Meryl Streep, US actress (1949 )
Sometimes I worry abou
Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world., Lily Tomlin, US actress comedienne (1939 )
The phone company hand
The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth., Lilly Tomlin, as Ernestine the Operator,
He had a big head and
He had a big head and a face so ugly it became almost fascinating., Ayn Rand, US (Russianborn) novelist (1905 1982)
I was born because my
I was born because my mother needed a fourth for meals., Beatrice Lillie,
My mother buried three
My mother buried three husbands ... and two of them were only napping., Rita Rudner, US comedian )
The older I grow, the
The older I grow, the less important the comma becomes. Let the reader catch his own breath., Elizabeth Clarkson Zwart,
Fishing gives you a se
Fishing gives you a sense of where you fit in the sceme of things Your place in the universe...I, mean, here I am, one small guy with a fishing pole on this vast beach and out there in the blue expanse of ocean are these hundreds of millions of fish...laughing at me., Unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
Education is what you
Education is what you get from reading the fine print. Experience is what you get from not reading it., Unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
Not one shred of evide
Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious., Unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
Do not regret growing
Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many., Unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
Research is the proce
Research is the process of going up alleys to see if they are blind., Marston Bates,
The more you run over
The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets., Unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
If it is to be, it is
If it is to be, it is up to me., Unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
If you can spend a per
If you can spend a perfectly useless afternoon in a perfectly useless manner, you have learned how to live., Lin Yutang,
If toast always lands
If toast always lands butterside down, and cats always land on their feet, what happen if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?, Steven Wright, US comedian and actor (1955 )
If God dropped acid, w
If God dropped acid, would he see people?, Steven Wright, US comedian and actor (1955 )
If a word in the dicti
If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know?, Steven Wright, US comedian and actor (1955 )
I believe in God, only
I believe in God, only I spell it Nature., Frank Lloyd Wright, US architect (1869 1959)
The very powerful and
The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. Instead of altering their views to fit the facts, they alter the facts to fit their views...which can be very uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that needs altering., Doctor Who,
According to classical
According to classical aerodynamics, it is impossible for a bumblebee to fly., Doctor Who,
It may be irrational o
It may be irrational of me, but human beings are quite my favorite species., Doctor Who,
Anybody remotely inter
Anybody remotely interesting is mad, in some way or another., Doctor Who,
Logic merely enables o
Logic merely enables one to be wrong with authority., Doctor Who,
First things first, bu
First things first, but not necessarily in that order., Doctor Who,
I have the heart of a
I have the heart of a child. I keep it in a jar on my shelf., Robert Bloch, US horror science fiction author (1917 1994)
Rest is for the weary,
Rest is for the weary, sleep is for the dead., Doctor Who,
Good place to put thin
Good place to put thingscellars., Doctor Who,
Resistance is useless.
Resistance is useless., Doctor Who,
If people did not some
If people did not sometimes do silly things, nothing intelligent would ever get done., Wittgenstein,
A week is a long time
A week is a long time in politics., Harold Wilson, (1916 1995)
In the future everyone
In the future everyone will be worldfamous for fifteen minutes., Andy Warhol, US artist (1928 1987)
I really wonder what g
I really wonder what gives us the right to wreck this poor planet of ours., Kurt Vonnegut, US novelist (1922 )
Most people would like
Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch., Robert Orben,
Be careful what you pr
Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be., Kurt Vonnegut, US novelist (1922 )
Know the masculine, ke
Know the masculine, keep to the feminine., Lao Tzu,
When you have an effic
When you have an efficient government, you have a dictatorship., Harry S Truman, 33rd president of US (1884 1972)
It does not do to leav
It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him., J. R. R. Tolkein,
If I have any beliefs
If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons., James Thurber, US author, cartoonist, humorist, satirist (1894 1961)
Let us not look back i
Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness., James Thurber, US author, cartoonist, humorist, satirist (1894 1961)
I think that maybe if
I think that maybe if women and children were in charge we would get somewhere., James Thurber, US author, cartoonist, humorist, satirist (1894 1961)
Like having your own l
Like having your own licence to print money., Lord Thomson of Fleet,
Every now and then whe
Every now and then when your life gets complicated and the weasels start closing in, the only cure is to load up on heinous chemicals and then drive like a bastard from Hollywood to Las Vegas ... with the music at top volume and at least a pint of ether., H.S. Thompson,
Science is to see what
Science is to see what everyone else has seen but think what no one else has thought., Albert SzentGyorgyi,
If you talk to God, yo
If you talk to God, you are praying. If God talks to you, you have schizophrenia., Thomas Szasz,
There is nothing stron
There is nothing stronger in the world than gentleness., Han Suyin,
No man really becomes
No man really becomes a fool until he stops asking questions., Charles Steinmetz,
What is the difference
What is the difference between unethical and ethical advertising? Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public ethical advertising uses truth to deceive the public., Vilhjalmur Stefansson, Canadian explorer ethnologist (1879 1962)
Whatever is worth doin
Whatever is worth doing at all, is worth doing well., Phillip Stanhope,
We learn from experien
We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
The perfect love affai
The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
The golden rule is tha
The golden rule is that there are no golden rules., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
It is most unwise for
It is most unwise for people in love to marry., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
All great truths begin
All great truths begin as blasphemies., George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist socialist (1856 1950)
Finally, in conclusion
Finally, in conclusion, let me say just this., Peter Sellers, English comic movie actor (1925 1980)
Happiness is nothing m
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory., Albert Schweitzer, French philosopher physician (1875 1965)
Truth has no special t
Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now always., Albert Schweitzer, French philosopher physician (1875 1965)
Everything has been fi
Everything has been figured out except how to live., JeanPaul Sartre, French author existentialist philosopher (1905 1980)
Those who cannot remem
Those who cannot remem
I know but one freedom
I know but one freedom, and that is the freedom of the mind., Antoine de SaintExupery, French writer (1900 1944)
The scientific theory
The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage., Mark Russell, US comedian, political commentator, satirist (1932 )
If you are going to do
If you are going to do something wrong at least enjoy it., Leo Rosten, US (Polishborn) author (1908 )
Misquotations are the
Misquotations are the only quotations that are never misquoted., Hesketh Pearson,
The only limit to our
The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts about reality., Franklin Delano Roosevelt,
The only thing we have
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself., Franklin Delano Roosevelt,
Everybody is ignorant,
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects., Will Rogers, US humorist showman (1879 1935)
The vast possibilities
The vast possibilities of our great future will become realities only if we make ourselves responsible for that future., Gifford Pinchot,
I am always doing that
I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it., Pablo Picasso, Spanish Cubist painter (1881 1973)
Never tell people how
Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do, and they will surprise you with their ingenuity., George S. Patton, US general (1885 1945)
The optimist thinks th
The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist fears it is true., Robert Oppenheimer,
There are no exception
There are no exceptions to the rule that everybody likes to be an exception to the rule., George Osner,
Who controls the past
Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past., George Orwell, English essayist, novelist, satirist (1903 1950)
All animals are equal
All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others., George Orwell, English essayist, novelist, satirist (1903 1950)
Big Brother is watchin
Big Brother is watching you., George Orwell, English essayist, novelist, satirist (1903 1950)
I take a simple view o
I take a simple view of life: keep your eyes open and get on with it., Sir Laurence Olivier,
It is hard to let old
It is hard to let old beliefs go. They are familiar. We are comfortable with them and have spent years building systems and developing habits that depend on them. Like a man who has worn eyeglasses so long that he forgets he has them on, we forget that the world looks to us the way it does because we have become used to seeing it that way through a particular set of lenses. Today, however, we need new lenses. And we need to throw the old ones away., Kenich Ohmae,
God, grant me the sere
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference., Reinhold Niebuhr, US Protestant theologian (1892 1971)
The city is not a conc
The city is not a concrete jungle, it is a human zoo., Desmond Morris,
Science has proof with
Science has proof without any certainty. Creationists have certainty without any proof., Ashley Montague,
One of the advantages
One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries., A. A. Milne, English juvenile author (1882 1956)
When shit becomes valu
When shit becomes valuable, the poor will be born without assholes., Henry Miller, US author (1891 1980)
I expect Woman will be
I expect Woman will be the last thing civilized by Man., George Meredith, English novelist poet (1828 1909)
The basic fact about h
The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore., Henry Louis Mencken,
It is even harder for
It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man., Henry Louis Mencken,
For every problem, the
For every problem, there is one solution which is simple, neat and wrong., Henry Louis Mencken,
No one ever went broke
No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public., Henry Louis Mencken,
Marriage is a wonderfu
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution., Henry Louis Mencken,
The only really happy
The only really happy folk are married women and single men., Henry Louis Mencken,
Love is the triumph of
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence., Henry Louis Mencken,
Excess on occasion is
Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit., W. Somerset Maugham, English dramatist novelist (1874 1965)
An unfortunate thing a
An unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits are much easier to give up than the bad ones., W. Somerset Maugham, English dramatist novelist (1874 1965)
Death is a very dull,
Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it., W. Somerset Maugham, English dramatist novelist (1874 1965)
The ability to quote i
The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit., W. Somerset Maugham, English dramatist novelist (1874 1965)
Military intelligence
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms., Groucho Marx, US comedian with Marx Brothers (1890 1977)
Get up, stand up Stand
Get up, stand up Stand up for your rights Get up, stand up Never give up the fight., Bob Marley,
You are not superior j
You are not superior just because you see the world in an odious light., Vicomte de Chateaubriand, French author politician (1768 1848)
Politics is war withou
Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed., Mao Tsetung, Chinese Communist politician (1893 1976)
Political power grows
Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun., Mao Tsetung, Chinese Communist politician (1893 1976)
In waking a tiger, use
In waking a tiger, use a long stick., Mao Tsetung, Chinese Communist politician (1893 1976)
A man is the sum of hi
A man is the sum of his actions, of what he has done, of what he can do, nothing else., Andre Malraux, French author resistance leader (1901 1976)
Practical people would
Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more time for dreaming., J.P. McEvoy,
Ambition is a poor exc
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy., Charlie McCarthy,
The new electronic int
The new electronic interdependence recreates the world in the image of a global village., Marshall McLuhan, Canadian author, educator, philosopher (1911 1980)
The medium is the mess
The medium is the message., Marshall McLuhan, Canadian author, educator, philosopher (1911 1980)
I have noticed that th
I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them., E.V. Lucas,
Where facts are few, e
Where facts are few, experts are many., Donald R. Gannon,
Every generation think
Every generation thinks it has the answers, and every generation is humbled by nature., Phillip Lubin,
Love anything and your
Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casketsafe, dark, motionless, airlessit will change. It will not be broken it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable., C. S. Lewis, English essayist juvenile novelist (1898 1963)
Life is what happens w
Life is what happens while you are making other plans., John Lennon, English singer songwriter (1940 1980)
All we are saying is g
All we are saying is give peace a chance., John Lennon, English singer songwriter (1940 1980)
Power corrupts. Absolu
Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat, John Lehman, Secretary of the US Navy, 19811987, US administrator (1942 )
There are three side e
There are three side effects of acid. Enchanced long term memory, decreased short term memory, and I forget the third., Timothy Leary, US psychologist promoter of mindaltering drugs (1920 1996)
Turn on, tune in and d
Turn on, tune in and drop out., Timothy Leary, US psychologist promoter of mindaltering drugs (1920 1996)
Human beings are seven
Human beings are seventy percent water, and with some the rest is collagen., Martin Mull, US comedian and actor (1943 )
All men dream: but not
All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, to make it possible., T. E. Lawrence,
The difference between
The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in determination., Tommy Lasorda,
Life is too short for
Life is too short for traffic., Dan Bellack,
Hatred paralyzes life
Hatred paralyzes life love releases it. Hatred confuses life love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life love illuminates it., Martin Luther King,
Injustice anywhere is
Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere., Martin Luther King,
In the long run, we ar
In the long run, we are all dead., John Maynard Keynes, English economist (1883 1946)
My interest is in the
My interest is in the future because I am going to spend the rest of my life there., Charles F. Kettering, US electrical engineer inventor (1876 1958)
Only those who dare to
Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly., Robert F Kennedy,
When the going gets to
When the going gets tough, the tough get going., Joseph P Kennedy,
And so, my fellow Amer
And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you ask what you can do for your country., John F Kennedy,
If a free society cann
If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich., John F Kennedy,
The work goes on, the
The work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives and the dreams shall never die., Edward Kennedy,
The pendulum of the mi
The pendulum of the mind alternates between sense and nonsense, not between right and wrong., Carl Jung, Swiss psychologist (1875 1961)
Everything that irrita
Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves., Carl Jung, Swiss psychologist (1875 1961)
Religion is a defense
Religion is a defense against the experience of God., Carl Jung, Swiss psychologist (1875 1961)
Mistakes are the porta
Mistakes are the portals of discovery., James Joyce, Irish author (1882 1941)
All marriages are mixe
All marriages are mixed marriages., Chantal Saperstein,
The most efficient lab
The most efficient laborsaving device is still money., Franklin P Jones,
Always and never are t
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use., Wendell Johnson,
It is always the best
It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar., Jerome K Jerome,
We was robbed!, Joe Ja
We was robbed!, Joe Jacobs,
Sometimes being pushed
Sometimes being pushed to the wall gives you the momentum necessary to get over it!, Peter de Jager,
Great ideas need landi
Great ideas need landing gear as well as wings., C. D. Jackson,
Consistency is contrar
Consistency is contrary to nature, contrary to life. The only completely consistent people are dead., Aldous Huxley, English critic novelist (1894 1963)
Technological progress
Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means for going backwards., Aldous Huxley, English critic novelist (1894 1963)
To achieve the impossi
To achieve the impossible dream, try going to sleep., Joan Klempner,
From the moment I pick
From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it., Groucho Marx, US comedian with Marx Brothers (1890 1977)
Facts do not cease to
Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored, Aldous Huxley, English critic novelist (1894 1963)
We seem to have a comp
We seem to have a compulsion these days to bury time capsules in order to give those people living in the next century or so some idea of what we are like. I have prepared one of my own. I have placed some rather large samples of dynamite, gunpowder, and nitroglycerin. My time capsule is set to go off in the year 3000. It will show them what we are really like., Alfred Hitchcock, British movie director (1899 1980)
It is not the mountain
It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves., Sir Edmund Hillary,
The beginning of knowl
The beginning of knowledge is the discovery of something we do not understand., Frank Herbert, US science fiction novelist (1920 1986)
Happiness in intellige
Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know., Ernest Hemingway, US author journalist (1899 1961)
But did thee feel the
But did thee feel the earth move?, Ernest Hemingway, US author journalist (1899 1961)
Courage is grace under
Courage is grace under pressure., Ernest Hemingway, US author journalist (1899 1961)
Some people are born m
Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them., Joseph Heller, US novelist (1923 )
Catch 22, Joseph Helle
Catch 22, Joseph Heller, US novelist (1923 )
We are just an advance
We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the Universe. That makes us something very special., Stephen Hawking, English cosmologist and physicist (1942 )
My goal is simple. It
My goal is simple. It is a complete understanding of the universe, why it is as it is and why it exists at all., Stephen Hawking, English cosmologist and physicist (1942 )
It is my supposition t
It is my supposition that the Universe in not only queerer than we imagine, is queerer than we CAN imagine., J.B.S. Haldane,
We do not inherit this
We do not inherit this land from our ancestors we borrow it from our children., Haida Indian saying,
As you journey through
As you journey through life take a minute every now and then to give a thought for the other fellow. He could be plotting something., Hagar the Horrible,
The illusion that time
The illusion that times that were are better than those that are, has probably pervaded all ages., Horace Greeley,
Anyone who goes to a p
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined., Samuel Goldwyn, US (Polishborn) movie producer (1882 1974)
Whoever controls the m
Whoever controls the mediathe imagescontrols the culture., Allen Ginsberg,
Believe those who are
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it., Andre Gide, French critic, essayist, novelist (1869 1951)
Live as you will have
Live as you will have wished to have lived when you are dying., Christian Furchtegott Gellert,
If the aborigine draft
If the aborigine drafted an IQ test, all of Western civilization would presumably flunk it., Stanley Garn,
Freedom is not worth h
Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes., Mahatma Gandhi, Indian ascetic nationalist leader (1869 1948)
A coward is incapable
A coward is incapable of exhibiting love it is the prerogative of the brave., Mahatma Gandhi, Indian ascetic nationalist leader (1869 1948)
The only tyrant I acce
The only tyrant I accept in this world is the still voice within., Mahatma Gandhi, Indian ascetic nationalist leader (1869 1948)
An eye for eye only en
An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind., Mahatma Gandhi, Indian ascetic nationalist leader (1869 1948)
Delusions of grandeur
Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself., Jane Wagner,
The good man is the fr
The good man is the friend of all living things., Mahatma Gandhi, Indian ascetic nationalist leader (1869 1948)
I could prove God stat
I could prove God statistically., George Gallup, US statistician pollster (1901 1984)
The conventional view
The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking., John Kenneth Galbraith, US (Canadianborn) administrator economist (1908 )
He who chooses the beg
He who chooses the beginning of the road chooses the place it leads to. It is the means that determines the end., Harry Emerson Fosdick, US clergyman (1878 1969)
My best friend is the
My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me., Henry Ford, US automobile industrialist (1863 1947)
History is more or le
History is more or less bunk., Henry Ford, US automobile industrialist (1863 1947)
Anyone who says busine
Anyone who says businessmen deal in facts, not fiction, has never read old fiveyear projections., Malcom Forbes,
Bond. James Bond., Ian
Bond. James Bond., Ian Fleming,
The test of a firstfat
The test of a firstfate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function. One should, for example, be able to see that things are hopeless and yet be determined to make them otherwise., F. Scott Fitzgerald, US novelist (1896 1940)
Sex is hereditary. If
Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you wont either., Joseph Fischer,
Never give a sucker an
Never give a sucker an even break., W. C. Fields, US actor (1880 1946)
The two most abundant
The two most abundant things in the universe are Hydrogren and stupidity., Harlan Ellison, US science fiction author screenwriter (1934 )
It is only the great m
It is only the great men who are truly obscene. If they had not dared to be obscene, they could never have dared to be great., Havelock Ellis, English sexual psychologist (1859 1939)
I hate war as only a s
I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can, only as one who has seen its brutality, its futility, its stupidity., Dwight D. Eisenhower, US general Republican politician (1890 1969)
He who lives by the sw
He who lives by the sword, will eventually be wiped out by some bastard with a sawn off shotgun, Steady Eddy,
History teaches us tha
History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely when they have exhausted all other alternatives., Abba Eban, Israeli (S. Africanborn) diplomat politician (1915 2002)
People ask for critici
People ask for criticism, but they only want praise., W. Somerset Maugham, English dramatist novelist (1874 1965)
Go ahead, make my day.
Go ahead, make my day., Dean Riesner, Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry in Sudden Impact, 1983,
Never judge a book by
Never judge a book by its movie., J.W. Eagan,
A man is a success if
A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between he does what he wants to do., Bob Dylan, US singer songwriter (1941 )
If you can dream it, y
If you can dream it, you can do it., Walt Disney, US cartoonist movie producer (1901 1966)
Love your enemies just
Love your enemies just in case your friends turn out to be a bunch of bastards., R. A. Dickson,
Reality is that which
Reality is that which refuses to go away when I stop believing in it., Phillip K. Dick,
The first half of our
The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children., Clarence Darrow, US defense lawyer (1857 1938)
When a dog bites a man
When a dog bites a man that is not news, but when a man bites a dog that is news., Charles Anderson Dana,
The only difference be
The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad, Salvador Dali, Spanish Catalan Surrealist painter (1904 1989)
Exterminate., The Dale
Exterminate., The Daleks (Doctor Who),
A good listener is a g
A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat., Katharine Whitehorn,
You may be deceived if
You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you do not trust enough., Frank Crane,
Human beings are the o
Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home., Bill Cosby, US comedian television actor (1937 )
Fatherhood is pretendi
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soaponarope., Bill Cosby, US comedian television actor (1937 )
There are two types of
There are two types of peoplethose who come into a room and say, Well, here I am! and those who come in and say, Ah, there you are., Frederick L Collins,
It may be that our rol
It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship Godbut to create him., Arthur C. Clarke, English physicist science fiction author (1917 )
The soul would have no
The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears., John Vance Cheney,
Historians are like de
Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them., Leo Tolstoy, Russian mystic novelist (1828 1910)
Rest in peace. The mis
Rest in peace. The mistake shall not be repeated., Cenotaph in Hiroshima,
How far you go in life
How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these., George Washington Carver,
An honest politician i
An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought., Simon Cameron, US financier politician (1799 1889)
You will never find ti
You will never find time for anything. If you want time you must make it., Charles Buxton,
Take away the right to
Take away the right to say fuck and you take away the right to say fuck the government., Lenny Bruce, (1923 1966)
All technology should
All technology should be assumed guilty until proven innocent., David Brower,
What happens to the ho
What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone?, Bertolt Brecht, German Communist dramatist (1898 1956)
War is like love it al
War is like love it always finds a way., Bertolt Brecht, German Communist dramatist (1898 1956)
Documentation is like
Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good and when it is bad, it is better than nothing., Dick Brandon,
Feeding the starving p
Feeding the starving poor only increases their number., Ben Bova,
Laughter is the shorte
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people., Victor Borge, US (Danishborn) comedian pianist (1909 2000)
For most folks, no new
For most folks, no news is good news for the press, good news is not news., Gloria Borger,
The opposite of a corr
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth., Niels Bohr, Danish physicist (1885 1962)
Never express yourself
Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think., Niels Bohr, Danish physicist (1885 1962)
Consider the postage s
Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there., Josh Billings, US Humorist (1818 1885)
Television is the firs
Television is the first truly democratic culture the first culture available to everybody and entirely governed by what the people want. The most terrifying thing is what people do want., Clive Barnes,
The greatest pleasure
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do., Walter Bagehot, English economist journalist (1826 1877)
You white people are s
You white people are so strange. We think it is very primitive for a child to have only two parents., Australian Aboriginal Elder,
The ability to delude
The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool., Jane Wagner,
The three fundamental
The three fundamental Rules of Robotics...One: a robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm...Two:..a robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law...Three: a robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First and Second Laws., Isaac Asimov, US science fiction novelist scholar (1920 1992)
From what we get, we c
From what we get, we can make a living what we give, however, makes a life., Arthur Ashe,
Our lives improve only
Our lives improve only when we take chances and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves., Walter Anderson,
Interestingly, accordi
Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thoughtparticularly for people who can never remember where they have left things., Woody Allen, US movie actor, comedian, director (1935 )
More than any time in
More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly., Woody Allen, US movie actor, comedian, director (1935 )
I took a speedreading
I took a speedreading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia., Woody Allen, US movie actor, comedian, director (1935 )
The good people sleep
The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more., Woody Allen, US movie actor, comedian, director (1935 )
It was a book to kill
It was a book to kill time for those who like it better dead., Dame Rose Macaulay, English novelist (1881 1958)
It is a good morning e
It is a good morning exercise for a research scientist to discard a pet hypothesis every day before breakfast. It keeps him young., Konrad Lorenz, German (Austrianborn) ethologist (1903 1989)
The man who views the
The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life., Muhammad Ali, US boxer (1942 )
Float like a butterfly
Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee., Muhammad Ali, US boxer (1942 )
Houston, Tranquility B
Houston, Tranquility Base here. The eagle has landed., Buzz Aldrin,
Civilization is the di
Civilization is the distance man has placed between himself and his excreta., Brian Aldiss,
The creator of the uni
The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers., Scott Adams, US cartoonist (1957 )
There is a theory whic
There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened., Douglas Adams, English humorist science fiction novelist (1952 2001)
In the beginning, the
In the beginning, the universe was created. This made a lot of people very angry, and has been widely regarded as a bad idea., Douglas Adams, English humorist science fiction novelist (1952 2001)
The difference between
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug., Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, wit (1835 1910)
Human beings, who are
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so., Douglas Adams, English humorist science fiction novelist (1952 2001)
Anyone who is capable
Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job., Douglas Adams, English humorist science fiction novelist (1952 2001)
Time is an illusion, l
Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so., Douglas Adams, English humorist science fiction novelist (1952 2001)
An author is a fool wh
An author is a fool who, not content with boring those he lives with, insists on boring future generations., Charles de Montesquieu, French lawyer philosopher (1689 1755)
You cannot shake hands
You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist., Indira Gandhi, quoted by Christian Science Monitor, May 17 1982, Indian politician (1917 1984)
War is not nice., Barb
War is not nice., Barbara Bush, US wife of George Bush 1945 (1925 )
Never attribute to mal
Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity., Nick Diamos,
Of those who say nothi
Of those who say nothing, few are silent., Thomas Neill,
The great thing about
The great thing about democracy is that it gives every voter a chance to do something stupid., Art Spander,
Food is an important p
Food is an important part of a balanced diet., Fran Lebowitz, US writer and humorist (1950 )
The reason there are t
The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver., Jay Leno, US comedian television host (1950 )
I believe that all gov
I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time., H. L. Mencken, US editor (1880 1956)
The intermediate stage
The intermediate stage between socialism and capitalism is alcoholism., Norman Brenner,
Every nation ridicules
Every nation ridicules other nations, and all are right., Arthur Schopenhauer, German philosopher (1788 1860)
An expert is a person
An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field., Niels Bohr, Danish physicist (1885 1962)
There is no monument d
There is no monument dedicated to the memory of a committee., Lester J. Pourciau,
The easiest way for yo
The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any., Katharine Whitehorn,
I detest lifeinsurance
I detest lifeinsurance agents they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so., Stephen Leacock, Canadian economist humorist (1869 1944)
We live in an age when
We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police., Jeff Marder,
All paid jobs absorb a
All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind., Aristotle, Greek critic, philosopher, physicist, zoologist (384 BC 322 BC)
Chess is as elaborate
Chess is as elaborate a waste of human intelligence as you can find outside an advertising agency., Raymond Chandler, US detective novelist screenwriter (1888 1959)
Anybody who watches th
Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead., Erma Bombeck, US author humorist (1927 1996)
Nobody in the game of
Nobody in the game of football should be called a genius. A genius is somebody like Norman Einstein., Joe Theismann, Former quarterback,
The great thing about
The great thing about television is that if something important happens anywhere in the world, day or night, you can always change the channel., From Taxi,
Brass bands are all ve
Brass bands are all very well in their place outdoors and several miles away., Sir Thomas Beecham, English conductor (1879 1961)
There cannot be a cris
There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full., Henry Kissinger, US (Germanborn) diplomat scholar (1923 )
Fashion is something t
Fashion is something that goes in one year and out the other., Unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
We forfeit threefourth
We forfeit threefourths of ourselves in order to be like other people., Arthur Schopenhauer, German philosopher (1788 1860)
I tend to live in the
I tend to live in the past because most of my life is there., Herb Caen,
We are inclined to bel
We are inclined to believe those whom we do not know because they have never deceived us., Samuel Johnson, English author, critic, lexicographer (1709 1784)
Blame someone else and
Blame someone else and get on with your life., Alan Woods,
It is a common delusio
It is a common delusion that you make things better by talking about them., Dame Rose Macaulay, English novelist (1881 1958)
Architecture is the ar
Architecture is the art of how to waste space., Philip Johnson, US architect (1906 2005)
Living in a vacuum suc
Living in a vacuum sucks., Adrienne E. Gusoff, US teacher, humorist and greeting card writer )
I can think of nothing
I can think of nothing less pleasurable than a life devoted to pleasure., John D. Rockefeller, US oil industrialist philanthropist (1839 1937)
I would never die for
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong., Bertrand Russell, British author, mathematician, philosopher (1872 1970)
What I look forward to
What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death., Dave Barry, US columnist humorist (1947 )
It is impossible to en
It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do., Jerome K. Jerome, British humor writer (1859 1927)
One has a greater sens
One has a greater sense of intellectual degradation after an interview with a doctor than from any human experience., Alice James,
They certainly give ve
They certainly give very strange names to diseases., Plato, Greek author philosopher in Athens (427 BC 347 BC)
I told the doctor I br
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places., Henny Youngman, US (Englishborn) comedian (1906 1998)
The entire economy of
The entire economy of the Western world is built on things that cause cancer., From the 1985 movie Bliss,
Preserving health by t
Preserving health by too severe a rule is a worrisome malady., Francois de La Rochefoucauld, French author moralist (1613 1680)
I was a vegetarian unt
I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight., Rita Rudner, US comedian )
It is always the best
It is always the best policy to speak the truthunless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar., Jerome K. Jerome, British humor writer (1859 1927)
The secret of eternal
The secret of eternal youth is arrested development., Alice Roosevelt Longworth, US author wit (1884 1980)
Children are all forei
Children are all foreigners., Ralph Waldo Emerson, US essayist poet (1803 1882)
I envy people who drin
I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on., Oscar Levant, (1906 1972)
When I read about the
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading., Henny Youngman, US (Englishborn) comedian (1906 1998)
My mother buried three
My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping., Rita Rudner, US comedian )
I have often depended
I have often depended on the blindness of strangers., Adrienne E. Gusoff, US teacher, humorist and greeting card writer )
Not only is life a bit
Not only is life a bitch, it has puppies., Adrienne E. Gusoff, US teacher, humorist and greeting card writer )
Operationally, God is
Operationally, God is beginning to resemble not a ruler but the last fading smile of a cosmic Cheshire cat., Sir Julian Huxley, English administrator biologist (1887 1975)
How is it possible to
How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?, Woody Allen, US movie actor, comedian, director (1935 )
Life is a moderately g
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act., Truman Capote, US author (1924 1984)
The purpose of life is
The purpose of life is to fight maturity., Dick Werthimer,
Reality is the leading
Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it., Jane Wagner, (and Lily Tomlin),
Reality is something y
Reality is something you rise above., Liza Minnelli, US actress singer (1946 )
They say that God is e
They say that God is everywhere, and yet we always think of Him as somewhat of a recluse., Emily Dickinson, US poet (1830 1886)
The right to be heard
The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously., Hubert H. Humphrey, US politician (1911 1978)
When a thing has been
When a thing has been said and well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it., Anatole France, French novelist (1844 1924)
I think it would be a
I think it would be a good idea., Mahatma Gandhi, when asked what he thought of Western civilization, Indian ascetic nationalist leader (1869 1948)
It is easier to forgiv
It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend., William Blake, English engraver, illustrator, poet (1757 1827)
Nothing is more conduc
Nothing is more conducive to peace of mind than not having any opinions at all., Georg Christoph Lichtenberg, (1742 1799)
God help those who do
God help those who do not help themselves., Wilson Mizner, US screenwriter (1876 1933)
Nothing ever goes away
Nothing ever goes away., Barry Commoner, US biologist educator (1917 )
I shot an arrow into t
I shot an arrow into the air, and it stuck., Graffito, in Los Angeles,
Nice guys finish last,
Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in., Evan Davis,
One machine can do the
One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man., Elbert Hubbard, US author (1856 1915)
I have a rock garden.
I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died., Richard Diran,
Last night I dreamed I
Last night I dreamed I ate a tenpound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone., Tommy Cooper,
All phone calls are ob
All phone calls are obscene., Karen Elizabeth Gordon,
Ninety percent of ever
Ninety percent of everything is crap., Theodore Sturgeon, US science fiction author (1918 1985)
Television has proved
Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other., Ann Landers, US advice columnist (1918 2002)
Hollywood is a place w
Hollywood is a place where they place you under contract instead of under observation., Walter Winchell, US gossip columnist broadcast journalist (1897 1972)
When dealing with the
When dealing with the insane, the best method is to pretend to be sane., Hermann Hesse, Swiss (Germanborn) author (1877 1962)
Editor: a person emplo
Editor: a person employed by a newspaper, whose business it is to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed., Elbert Hubbard, US author (1856 1915)
Smoking is one of the
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics., Fletcher Knebel,
War is a series of cat
War is a series of catastrophes that results in a victory., Georges Clemenceau, French politician (1841 1929)
The wages of sin are u
The wages of sin are unreported., Unknown, Quotations by unknown authors )
My problem lies in rec
My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income., Errol Flynn, US (AustralianTasmanianborn) movie actor (1909 1959)
Life is just one damne
Life is just one damned thing after another., Elbert Hubbard, US author (1856 1915)
There must be more to
There must be more to life than having everything., Maurice Sendak, US juvenile illustrator (1928 )
I have enough money to
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something., Jackie Mason, US comedian (1934 )
People who work sittin
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up., Ogden Nash, US humorist poet (1902 1971)
Nothing fails like suc
Nothing fails like success., Gerald Nachman,
It is a sign of a cree
It is a sign of a creeping inner death when we no longer can praise the living., Eric Hoffer, (1902 1983)
As a wellspent day bri
As a wellspent day brings happy sleep, so a life well used brings a happy death., Leonardo Da Vinci, Italian engineer, painter, sculptor (1452 1519)
A man should live if o
A man should live if only to satisfy his curiosity., Yiddish Proverb,
Curiosity in children,
Curiosity in children, is but an appetite for knowledge. One great reason why children abandon themselves wholly to silly pursuits and trifle away their time insipidly is, because they find their curiosity balked, and their inquiries neglected., John Locke, English empiricist philosopher (1632 1704)
It is strange that we
It is strange that we do not temper our resentment of criticism with a thought for our many faults which have escaped us., Author Unknown,
Criticism is the disap
Criticism is the disapproval of people, not for having faults, but having faults different from your own., Author Unknown,
It is usually best to
It is usually best to be generous with praise, but cautious with criticism., Author Unknown,
There is one way to ha
There is one way to handle the ignorant and malicious critic. Ignore him., Author Unknown,
Half of the secular un
Half of the secular unrest and dismal, profane sadness of modern society comes from the vain ideas that every man is bound to be a critic for life., Henry Van Dyke,
Neither praise nor bla
Neither praise nor blame is the object of true criticism. Justly to discriminate, firmly to establish, wisely to proscribe, and honestly to award these are the true aims and duties of criticism., Simms,
In my wide association
In my wide association in life, meeting with many and great men in various parts of the world, I have yet to find the man, however great or exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than he would ever do under a spirit of criticism., Charles M. Schwab,
Ten censure wrong, for
Ten censure wrong, for one that writes amiss., Alexander Pope, Essay on Criticism, English poet satirist (1688 1744)
We are suffering from
We are suffering from too much sarcasm., Marianne Moore,
Doubtless criticism wa
Doubtless criticism was originally benignant, pointing out the beauties of a work rather that its defects. The passions of men have made it malignant, as a bad heart of Procrustes turned the bed, the symbol of repose, into an instrument of torture., Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, US poet (1807 1882)
Ours is an age of crit
Ours is an age of criticism, to which everything must be subjected. The sacredness of religion, and the authority of legislation, are by many regarded as grounds for exemption from the examination by this tribunal, But, if they are exempted, and cannot lay claim to sincere respect, which reason accords only to that which has stood the test of a free and public examination., Immanuel Kant, German philosopher (1724 1804)
It is a barren kind of
It is a barren kind of criticism which tells you what a thing is not., R. W. Griswold,
Most of our censure of
Most of our censure of others is only oblique praise of self, uttered to show the wisdom and superiority of the speaker. It has all the insidiousness of selfpraise, and all the illdesert of falsehood., Tyron Edwards,
If you believe in what
If you believe in what you are doing, then let nothing hold you up in your work. Much of the best work of the world has been done against seeming impossibilities. The thing is to get the work done., Dale Carnegie,
A good writer is not n
A good writer is not necessarily a good book critic. No more so than a good drunk is automatically a good bartender., Jim Bishop,
It is folly for an emi
It is folly for an eminent person to think of escaping censure, and a weakness to be affected by it. All the illustrious persons of antiquity, and indeed of every age, have passed through this fiery persecution. There is no defense against reproach but obscurity it is a kind of concomitant to greatness, as satires and invectives were an essential part of a Roman triumph., Joseph Addison, English essayist, poet, politician (1672 1719)
Creative power, is tha
Creative power, is that receptive attitude of expectancy which makes a mold into which the plastic and as yet undifferentiated substance can flow and take the desired form., Thomas Troward,
Thoughts give birth to
Thoughts give birth to a creative force that is neither elemental nor sidereal. Thoughts create a new heaven, a new firmament, a new source of energy, from which new arts flow. When a man undertakes to create something, he establishes a new heaven, as it were and from it the work that he desires to create flows into him. For such is the immensity of man that he is greater than heaven and earth., Philipus Aureolus Paracelsus, German (Swissborn) alchemist physician (1493 1541)
Because women live cre
Because women live creatively, they rarely experience the need to depict or write about that which to them is a primary experience and which men know only at a second remove. Women create naturally, men create artificially., Ashley Montagu,
First, I do not sit do
First, I do not sit down at my desk to put into verse something that is already clear in my mind. If it were clear in my mind, I should have no incentive or need to write about it. We do not write in order to be understood we write in order to understand., Robert Cecil Day Lewis,
Never explainyour frie
Never explainyour friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway., Elbert Hubbard, US author (1856 1915)
What can you say about
What can you say about a society that says that God is dead and Elvis is alive?, Irv Kupcinet,